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LIFE IN THE WEST. 



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LIFE IN THE WEST: 



BACK-WOOD LEAVES AND PRAIRIE FLOWERS: 
i^ougf) ^feftcJbfS on tt)e 13oiDer5 

OF THE 

PICTURESQUE, THE SUBLIME, AND RIDICULOUS. 

EXTRACTS FROM THE NOTE BOOK 
O F 

MORLEIGH IN SEARCH OF AN ESTATE. 



SECOND EDITION. 



♦' The ancient proverb's come to pass : 
The priest, as he performs the mass, 
Forgets that ever clerk he was, — 
He knoweth not his estate."— Old Ba.li.au. 

"Gratuni opus agricolis." — Virgil. 

*• And when pleasure begins to grow dull in the east, 
We may order our wings, and fly off to the west."— T. Moore. 

" And deem the woods will be our home at last."— Bykon. 



LONDON: 

T. C. NEWBY, 65, MORTIMER STREET, CAVENDISH SQUARE. 

1843. 



V]Z^.t 



PREFACE. 



I CONSIDER a Preface to be a work of supererogation, 
and never read one with common patience in my life. 
Nevertheless, I think it right to inform the reader, 
that three of the following papers have already met 
the public eye, in the pages of a leading London 
periodical. 

The AiTHOR. 



283529 



ERRATA. 

Page 4,ybr '' genus" read *• genius." 

— 15, for " cook" read " cock." 

— i5,for " monstrous" read " monotonous.'" 

— 149, /or " marquetiere" read " marqueterie." 

— \52,/or " crawling" read " crowding." 

— 1 73, /or " schute" rea<f " chute." 

— \79, for " cadenas" read " cadences." 

— 261, /or " pottawattomers" read " pottawattoniies." 
295, for " death's door" read " Death's Door." 

— 350, for " provider" read " pvovidor." 



DIRKCTIOXS T<) THE BINDKR 



f 

M»IA.\ Vi: RIVKR 



TO 



THE OUTWARD BOUND, 



THIS WORK 



IS RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED 



BY 



THE AUTHOR. 



CONTENTS 



CHAPTER I. • 

Embaikatioo — Britak Quum — P i f^m — Fi 

advice - - p- I 

CHAPTER n. 




AdveoCBies of a geMlann m aimitk of 

■■■ IT l|«Mr^ri nil 

AtUone ion— Tbe barber aad tke mjuih Vmt to 

—A mob— Awkwx-d pudk-aif t 9 




CHAPTER III. 



-lolunC 
Viii;inBii — Cockney— 
ker'sn 




CHAPTER IV. 

AdTcnnires of a eerdetnan in search of an «jI« — Trr-rrir. rn>- 

a&d kb teaaM — Hluie-boys — Auac*. <jg t^e 



CHAPTER V. 

Tbe slora — Pot**—* lamui^uj — A couDcfl in the troosfa at tbe 
sea— Skip in distress reported — Said lo be tbe President — 



COM) N 



B«tlN jiwiirtiMH—DiipmM A lOw^Uiiar to '^ > - 

CoMi 0^ MiJM Hilifcw T*" Vtiri r\rr *"** ... uisdu^ 

— RsM o«r ihip oa a roci 

CHAITER VI. 



Adwmmm of • fmkaM fai nvtb of an •ctotc— DfOBtt 3kl*G«u'- 
fui Mid hu rmk«— A mowliin ium— The fold bIm—M) 
whip— IV Mokcn— Bottoku vcm» Goolofiils — Raot to 

Dublin ' « 



B 



New York boids — BroMlway — Tbo pboMr^t opfaMOsi— Tod 
Mmmm — AaiiMl ■i^Miwi — Udy m^MtiMd — Phibdil. 
pha — Fuoctml pagwnt for tk« Ute pf Mid w it— FcrrjMMWit 
hoitl— Jobs of the r«t« and the new b tidt|P00m 

( IIAITKR Mil. 

Tarrjr-towtj — \VA%,ii.;t':i Ir > i^ — C«lJw«lt — I uck iiatr.?- v 

and hit frief>a» — Sar ■ .4 %; r. . ^^tk)•ldi^f4KM■• aoqoaiM- 
i — A pnoitr 00 liiv i lumucr v«mn ImmUma— ^my 

of ibt wood*— L|ns«w|MiuMand Uoif«ndkli • u; 

CIIAITKR IX. 

Troy — Bo)iuiU uuu^v^— R«UwmI— C«itai— .\cc»d«H — Miatak* 
— WbildMU— Uiahop— A loMwd lc«cli-Uk« Champlaio— 
Fioi HMnwf niiiliiifion Amorinin ki win aw 8 c Joba'a— 
MoolfMl— 81. LawiiMM Iriali faaai fnum Th» Bohop and 
hn map— Kia gHuu -PI— m boial— TKe nrw H -^t«« of A*-. 
V — Stormy dt>«lt ToroiMO ■«« 

CIlAlTKIi X. 

flfn«%*a mnwwi rtiniira Fiinrti ftoa tha Viviion* book— 
locli— GrtMto widar tlia Falb— CattiAaMo— dObo H< 
^1 iii fTWi Pmrni i .M i . %Kmary and l*hinaaa youth— ^'> 



CONTENTS. XI 

pool — Schlosser — Navy Island — Chippewa — Buffalo — Nicker- 
bocker's agent — the Bunker-hill — Voyage on Lake Erie — Cleve- 
land, Ohio — Detroit — Illinois steamer — German and his dogs 

172 
CHAPTER XI. 

Lake St. Clair— Steamer Brothers— Chatham on the Thames — 
Canadian hotels — Painter Waft — The black regiment — Crow's 
farm — Squatter's clearing — Farm in the woods — French settle- 
ments — Farm on tlie Thames — Freeman's Tavern — Royal mail 
— Indians — Battle ground — Tecumseh — Moravian Indians — A 
chief's son — Fever and ague — Indian root doctor — Delaware — 
London ---------------192 

CHAPTER XII. 

A break-down— The ox and stable— Irish settlers — North Ameri- 
can Land Company's district — A thriving settler — Goderich — 
Lake Huron— U. N. S. soldiers— Detroit— Burning of the Erie 
steamer — Makina — Indians — Chippewas and Ottawas — Lake 
Michigan — Patent windmill — Extract from the Milwakee 
Journal ---------------- 219 

CHAPTER XIII. 

Chicago— Old block house — Military land agent— The Colonel's 
farm — Ride through the prairies — Indian compass— Prairie 
tlowers — Squire Smaus — The Colonel's friends — Hoosier's 
camp — Young Men's Association 235 

CHAPTER XIV. 

Wisconsin — Racine — Falling house — Excursion — Unwelcome vi- 
sitor — Fox River — Luckless publican — Mount Pleasant post- 
office— Yankee pedler— The Prairie farms — New Englanders— 
Black Hawk Grove— Janesville— Rock River— Madison — Mor- 
rison's hotel— The Tomato feast — Rifle shooting— The Governor 
of Wisconsin — His equipage — Rare occurrence — Shooting en 
route ---------------- 250 

CHAPTER XV. 

Prairieville — Forest road — Norwegians — Milwakee — The rival 
editors— German settlers— The gunsmith— Norwegian songs— 



Ill COXTEKT*. 

YMik«»— IWtot»~ SOT Doctor nd Ui bdy-Vo}«ct w 
lodioo wiMionory — \ oy *f» rit fl*y 179 

CHAHTRR XVI. 



C«wo Bty — Aftior lw«o— Hoc |K4it*c]A&»— Afior ukI N'ai 
TW Jwlfo tod the G«oml~TU M^ior— Mr. ChikU aad ibe 
SqoAwi»~The lodua Af«oi— Bod wtoikir— .Sttich fora hww 
New oftbography~Dod|o oad Doty— Blotk-lio»k «w— TW 
WOk iolo Iht oooouy— OUl I midMno— llii 
-Uffd of dc«r— Books of the Fot Hivvr— A tavcm— Hm 
Jodffe io qooodarj ... >M 

CIIAITKR X\ II. 

Tht Jiui^c AXiU uu bug^ — ItMJMn >^ ir'. 

wv — Liulc Cocmloo— n •-»' i,,^ *v^^» -h 

ooo Friodi ftiid»— >N^ •■ . . — ^wamp— W-t.^. 

wbilt OMo't hooio— Uuitc dc Mort> — A oiDodr 

eons oo tho poum— lodioat — C»h|tiioat — Trjdtt^ 

It Bfave— Vojrajt up ihe Wolf Kncr— >Oor otnor — 1 ;— 

TW comp— lodioo vU l ofO T W acooi— A oooi. : 15 

rnAi'TKK Will. 

Tfp o mn c o Sockty— Nigbt in u< socil I r nratfcii h 
iW **Sihpcd Aproo*— Oh inliiwry— TW Wlf>biood 

quoaioii — C oroo.tW orotor— An itxino WiroM — Her portioil-- 
A ooooal— IMmiI* u|>on cUiow A i 'c i«od«r ami Wppjr 

ottoffoty — Prajror-OMvtiiif oo 5 ' . ^ lutiao •uptmtikM-— 
Poi«oUopio| oftir Sliift mj i^uanort lo a PottawatiOMit 
«hcw«fli — Cbttlt rtiwwtof noKlioii pot lo flifbl — A oofvp 
borWr^Woir Ri««r m^m— PojroMM doy— A PottotMMWoir 
warrior— AoMncao'iaf Wolod dowo— Afwl rH^ *>*— nr ook m 
lodiooo— Loit aif^ %>tih th* SarsfM ... 340 



LIFE IN THE WEST, 



FTC. 



CHAPTER I. 



Emljarkatinn — British Queen — Passengers — Foreign habit* — 
Sympathizer and Sufi'erer — (Quaker and Wfst Indian — The boon 
companions— Tea — Ship books — Scot's advice. 

Off Portsinoutli, Marcli 12, 1*5 11. 

My dear , 

Here I am at last, safe and sound on the 
promenade deek of the longest steamer in the world — 
The British Queen. Forward they are gettinjr up the 
anehor with a dolorous son<r — the steam is \i\) already 
— the dwarfish crank and comfortless little steamer, 
in which we songht refuge at Southampton from the 
liarpies hovering about the })ier, frets and vapours 
alon<>-side, im})atient to he off; aft and amidshi|)s a 
o-eneral shaking; of hands, earnest conversations, 
brief snatches of sentiment, abruj)lly broken off by 
the shrill tinkling of a bell. '' l*assengers for South- 
ampton all aboard," is the cry. '' Stand by the hand- 
ropes there." — '' Ay, ay, sir" — " Take care of the 
lady's uuift'" — " Ay, ay, sir" — " My bonnet ! oh, my 
bonnet I" — '* Be steady, my dear," — " Crush'd out of 
shape" — *' Put your foot down here, ma'am." " Ay 
de mi," murmurs a Spanish youth, looking over the 



3 UFK OS TUB WRIT. 

•idr— ** TtMl«r- I.is (l.iiiKi^ . ihr l.ulic H arr «j. jUlT 

'» vi«(OtH», HIT iiH- t .xnC* — ** /\ 

I. in.i ' •• \ ' .«"—«* Take- ...i. « 

i>Kl Uiv* — •• Wriii- V«Hi hare an 

- I ill vour lmii<lkrrvliieP — ** SmmI inr up a l-.ttK- 

for in)- tear*, Ur* — •« Ah, Tuu'rr u jmuI frlltm T — ' i ..i 

yoiir Ifllcr in a bottle, do** — " TU iwikI it by the fir ♦ 

Mickiiig wliair wc mcrl.*' Thii% amidst a BaUl ui 

•fi ainl M»iiiiiUuc* M*|uiratt> the huin< i 

and the* oiitwartl ImmiihL waving hats and liaiiti- 

' , oj* • .rr thr lit MX 1 thank 

ir-> i lt.i\c* a lirrtli, a Mtatf rtMini, all to nivsilf — an 

uni'X)MTtcil piet'c <»f mxxl tortnnr — a luxiirv, whirli ran 

only In* a|»pnt*iAtrd by thoM* who liavi* been d<K>mcd 

to sliart* that rzij^t^full of lookers and \ttiv " i|>- 

outly called a >iate room, with a Ktran^i' niuiiui. or 
a ttoiit ptitlrnian of very i 1:ir liahitM. Huf- 

ii|i to thr eyc^ in my (»U1 : ci, in the ui 

of n*«j|fi 1 I f»«»«<l niy^-lf nrar th«' « 

I M A k kut ll> I of my fellow |taM<eii^i i i 

have fmally fixt^il n|Km and M'tikil doun lia^ and 
lifii^a^* in their berths and now etum* ttiniblini; up 
the hatrh\vt\ to look at the Needhi* and lluUe 
(Vi^tl* '^i\t\ |»aiwi . male and fi^male, Mrut 

ulHtiit till- deeks in thru ' ime; berv we have 

a tn*!'*!!* (»f oflif^TM iMiuntl tor ( .: •la: one aports a 

loii^ l» 

ilur in 

111; a lliinl cnyelo|N-5 hi ..: ul and aIiouI- 
•'• r« in a brown lU-nio""- ?•• '^ftlicr man lieinjf rn- 
' i^€i| in |n-v- ftidian ii^^ui; and niiMvaiox then* 

It**' ^ «•«! lon*^ lartN*l to ti*e<l tla li ' 

^ 'i Mt* .U u ht^h '!*• ' nmongut on. 



LIFE IN THE WEPT. 3 

three Welsh wigs, one quaker broadbrim, and a va- 
riety of sow-westers. Yon tall Frenchman in the 
sweepinjr white Bernoose wonld insinnate that he has 
been ri''htin«»: with tlie Arabs, whik» the band of 
Gcnnanson the ]iaddle-box exhibit their bizarre ehacos 
and gnarled pipes to the evening snn, as they *' roar a 
catch" from Robert le DIable. *' It is a i)art3' of 
pleasure," cries a l^altimore lawyer, with a face like an 
overgrown capsicum, naval cap and button, worn 
knowingly over his worst eye. " A party of pleasure," 
echoes a bench of ladies in black, most mysteriously 
veiled. The Captain makes his best bow to his pas- 
senijers, Hatters himself we shall have a mo^t deh«'htful 
passage, and one of the steward's men, bleating forth 
Rory O'More on a Kent bugle, calls us posse comi- 
tatus down to dinner. 

There is a general rush f)r seats — the Ca})tain's 
table is soon beset by French, Germans, Italians, and 
Americans, wliih- the rest are fain to set themselves 
down at the mate's table, at which all the odd fellows 
and disjointed members of society cut their mutton. 
The French and (icrmans know how to enjov them- 
selves — the chamj)agne begins to circulate, and men 
who were total strangers to each other half-an-hour 
ago, ])ush the bottle back and forwards, laugh, jest, 
jeer, and (jiiatf together like sworn bn»ther.--. "' Je 
suis Francois moi,"' is deemed a mfticient introduc- 
tloii among the French ; but *' Je suis Parisien," 
pronounced with a sonorous voice, the right hand 
laid upon the embroidered vest with enipnssemcnf, 
penetrates the heart of every Frenchman, and illu- 
minates his face with the smishine of gladness. Not 
so the English ; it is not enough to hear that your 
neiglibour is a cockney, and that this indeed is his 

B 2 






4 UFK ISf TIIF WK»T. 

l»r-i vojagr — the vrrv nri -liiai vcm, bom within 
tlic* swrrt siniimI of the lUtw Im*IU vminieir, Khotikl take* 
mirfa A suclileii intcrrsl in vmir ctmipathot as lu a^k 
Itiiu to ilriiik uinr. aiitl rnirr into i- 

littii with h. ^ . 1 offaml «tcMT rl< our niotio, 

ntirr womm ; though Mnafkg foriMgi; n*lin()ui>h 

our runvrntimial ire, ami ^\ii\c we liaii'ly excluin^^c 
aiociaitvlh&lih*!i with friemLs h*veni, and eonntrjuicii, 
laiinrti forth into the wiUl extiHTagaiitw of our 
1 r Ihit from tlie •'uhlime to the ridicu- 

I I^* ^^^* (h-'^h, and fo\%-l, aiul the Umf^ 

bill of fan', having tlown thntu^h tlie snlon aiul 
dis.i|>|Man^I in n tren)(iuiou> :> i >>{ jtUtes, 

knivi^ and forLs the fon*i^fien swallow a clia»e 
eafts and ra^h on deck to smoke, leaving the natives 
to sip their wine, and munch their nnt9 and nhnoiult 
in !«»b<^r s;Mhirss. 

•* It is «»ur dnlv to tinisii it," v.,i,l i vcr>* stout pen- 
tleman nenr me to hU s«>n, as he |»iisht*<i a < ur 

of jhirt to that mea^* ViMith, who, hv hi<« I niu iiilutl 
air* antl iui|kaiienr(', M'cmt (1 ImmU n|>on ! iii^ the 

MiiokerH Its hunt. " iirokt* a tooth, nir?" in<|uirttl a 
florid-fiuYilf lMiKl-|)ate«l. hhu*k-whLskciV4l gtMius with 
a MOguine eye, which he U*nt conmiiseraiin^lv n)M>n 
a li! -liMikin^ pil^arlic in a hutfalo-skin coat, who, 

with > Ml >n\ •jriin |M>ijtonc<l LabiMtn, n li('\<>d 

), \s <»f ti.ijiM) III ot nut-shclU, i\;c., antl •' 

be wan fit t* : froin his ^uius to the 

back of hi** h< iil, iifl «• t.<ith. " Tin i)t»t suqirix-d 
to bear it, i^ir,** re|»hcHl the itanguine inquirrr, who, 
lor brrvilv, I may call the fiym|uit!iix4'r ; ** wlien men 
will jMirt with their trcth, hre.ik nuts andstoni'*:'^ 
und ih<' iw.ini driw nturtr and enter into a learned 
(i on tt I ill, to ' ' . . It and oi' 



LIFE IX THE WEST. 5 

scekinn: information and amusement, attend. " You 
have siiftbred a deal with vour teeth, sir," said the 
sympathizer, as he hstcned to the sufferer's tale of 
woe. " Now let me look into your mouth,"' continued 
he, and as the sufferer complied, the sympathizer 
assisted him to keep his mouth open, holding his 
black moustache finnly with one hand, while with 
the other he introduced a crooked steel instrument 
with a white handle into the other's mouth, and 
invited us to observe the decayed and neglected state 
of the gentleman's masticators — an unjileasing sight. 
'• But it is not too late — it is not too late,'' said 
he, cheerily, probing the poor devil's stumps; " all 
this damaged row may l)c filled and put into good 
working order — fact, gentlemen — without heat or 
pressure. Ha, what have we here ? a sheep's trotter 
or the tip of a cow's horn '"' The sufferer imperfectly 
sia;nirtes the new discoverv in his mouth is merely a 
false tooth, put in by a first-rate hand in America. *• I 
beg your pardon,'' cried tlie sympathizer, tapjMug the 
false tooth merrily — "I thought it must be a fragment 
of ahorse'shoof " — andtlic sufferer, having been tickled 
and probed about the mouth nuicli longer than he 
liked, was suddenly seized with dire (pialms and mis- 
givings in another direction, broke loose without 
apology, and bolted into liis lx?rth. I urther down the 
table sit three caiuiy Scots sipping whisk v-t(xldy, 
while a tall West Indian youth, with line blackevcs, and 
dressed a la Hyron, seems listening most deferentially 
to a thick-set, hale, severe looking Quaker, the formal 
cut of his brown coat and drab waistcoat, his austere 
brow chiselled by thought, the strict schooling and 
rigid control of the muscles of his face, round and 
rubicund, formed by nature for mirth and good fel- 



6 Lifi nc TUB mwn. 

lovti fiew* the imr< '*K*^! m-t nisi), 

and till \i* (i»rv orhievrtl over the outer nuin. Ndw 
with (|ii4iiit ami Miidiccl imiioii lie drawn frmti th. 

depth uf bis caparioiMi pockri a bouk, from v 

MraiglilwaT rmdii a paa aap *, ibcn |>liin"T ^i5 liaiida 
l>rlow the litlile, and prwliiccs mndnr ci 'lack 

nnf^, wliicli at rir>i I lli(>tt:*lii were m vaneCj 
ol )uiii-<io(ir I » lafrictl off a^ the tr .t uf a 

m it lark in the ^n.it ii> InK that a 

c|iiaker could Ik* . of hueh a ll•^k^lidinf; affiur 

M*ctiK*tl im|KJK>ihlc, ani i wait iudui-etl to draw clc»cr 
to that wicietY, and in>pect some |NitHlero«u» fett^r^ 
which thii« upright «|uaker aaMired me liiid liccn lut- 
wanletl from tlie llavannoh to Hiritiin^harn, with an 
order for ncYcral tons* weight of fettrrs of the aasM 
make for the lcg!i and arma of ^lave> ; hui, to tlie 
rreilit of tlie liinn ifiictn f ii m 

fbcjr have njirird the onUr, !-4»id the •, . ... I 

soon diacovereil to he the philanlhropiat 8 c . .\ 

moM zealous and uncomproniiitinf; alMilitiuni>(. 

At the foot of one of the lahle?! our attention t> 
engage<l hv a very noisT • of boon cooipaiiioiis 

not ifi:ip)< \y naimHl Uy a young Virginian, 

li< and .fon.itlmn Wild. H.t >, « 

sad old !. \«i(li a heavy vet 1. 

• \ ii! of lilack, luirelv 
l*i«>.i(( d iiiii J 1 lijiurc ; he callcti t If ih' 

rrjiorttr, !*|ic*eial rnKirter to tlie 'Hnieji, hj.* , 
an CYcr-green old roysterer, (piite (Hit of hi* eleuiiui 
when out of licptor ; he %«►« ' ' ' '.d cm 

^ald rtittl tint, uInI m Ml < 
ti% of bin I. 
lo I ill I I 

that c was a rci: .^i baker U 



LIFE IN THE VV^EST. 7 

Marylcbonc. Jonathan Wild, a tall, very lank, hair- 
brained fellow, full of pranks, mischief, and diablerie, 
was the happy link between Bacchus and Silenus ; 
he sat between the pair, in his white mackintosh and 
sow-wester, with his son, a very fine two-year old, on 
his knee, and a glass of chamjiagne in his hand. And 
thus this hap})y trio hob, nob, sinj;, swear, and blas- 
pheme together, till the steward and expert waiters 
roll in the tea-cups and force the trio to retire from 
the table. 

" Tea, sir ? IMack or green, sir ?" Neither, good 
barber, or barbarc, as the Frenchmen call that excellent 
black waiter. Oh my pro])hetic soul ! what hcavings, 
what dire commotions, will follow the suzzlinu: of hot 
tea which I see before me, as, seated on the lohv divan 
near the stern windows, I look through the odd 
volumes, the scraps, and backs of books, miscalled the 
library ; truly the ship's books have been very badly 
kept; here I find dozens of a neatly bound thin 
octavo, kicking about In every direction : a nice book 
truly," Swaim's Panacea, "an interesting anddisgustiug 
history of all the miraculous cures performed bv 
Swaim's panacea; and fronting the title page we have a 
full-length portrait of a lady, or skeleton in a ball- 
dress, grinning horril)ly. U this lady is cured, thought 
I, it would be very advisable for her to stay at home. 
Faugh I the very portrait has made me ill. 1 threw the 
book aside with scorn, little thinking that in a few 
day's hence, when the book mysteriously disappeared, 
I should earnestly seek for a copy, and devour the 
contents with as much gusto as a starving sailor 
would numcli an old shoe. 

Following the advice and example of a friendly 
Scot, I had just swallowed a rummer of whisky- 



8 UFB Of TIIK WBTT. 

toddy, and tintn n^ hin aMunuicc ib«i it 

(}u wiTA l)c»( thing ill (lie warld, %«hrn the *\/irMi 
bimMjr 6( tern qtuikiihiiMi wm o\ir, I hit din ini.^ 
givinpi m* I looked at the laiii|i» hwiiigitig to aiid fro, 
and llie waitcr»* head» liuhhiiig up aiid doirn in the 
Mil<»<>ii. Stretched ml full h'u^h ii)Min a sola, iinwil- 
!in;{. aiKl indrnl w ' , tu !n<ive, I h-fcncMl "to the 
tilt- (iflove** which u tr iiian--l nit-an. ap'ntlenian 

in a hiiffalo ruhe mat — l»t unto a grcv iiiacLinttMih, 

who, in tuni, an anioroiixlcxMitt Min^;, nnlil the Ixmne 
fortnneK of the happy juiir was \o>i or silenceil hy the 
hnid and ul<stiT|M'rtiuH langhter of a knot of niernr 
wags ^eate<l al u tahle cIom* to niv sofa. ** Votir 
heahh, nir — .Sir, voiir hralfh,** echoed roinid the lahlc. 

« 

" niniik \on, gentlemen, ' said a gravr-l<Miking man, 
\ifig >!iffly, and coolly rrplcn his gla.s> fn>m a 

/ of nudlcd |x»rt which htiNMl I m tore him; he had 
iting •Miinc rigmamlt' .story alxmt the piircluu>e 
(»r a Vork>hire estate, oiKLs und end9 of \%hich hwl 
entereti my rar together with the IteUcmingK of the 
hnfTalo-imui, the advice of the SiH>t, aiHl llie grnend 
)>«!/ of the sjdoon. " I ive hinidre<l acres in the vale 
ol Vi»rk.** *' Put a uec iln»p mair whiskjr in it, inon." 
'•She winked divinely at me in chnrcli.' ' I n*flolved 
to xinit it privately/' '* She drop|HMl lur 
1 pi( ki*d it up/ " lie a stirring the vjmmui and pnttii .: 
in a wcc drap nuur. ' "Taken in a miui trap. ' This lit>t 
sentence, pronounced hy the grave genth'inan, had **f«et 
llie table in a roar ;** lie hiid lieen ndating his |ien»oiiAl 
adventnri't in i«ean:li of an c*i>tale, and Inking rec> ' ^ 
with N Iams al the n ' entn*aly ol In 

Immmi eom|winion» i id aii> lu the blottiti 

l^es v( his note book* 



I.IlE IN THE WEST. 



CHAPTER 11. 



Adventures of a genilemrin in scarcli of an estate — Galvvay coach- 
man — Reverend passenger — His opinions, zeal, and wisdom — 
Atlilone iim — Tiu; barber and the squire — Visit to Killmoran 
— A mob — Awkvv.ud predicament. 

*'' It was nol my intention to remain in Dublin a day 
lon<j:;er than was absolutely necessary. I proceeded 
to business at once, read all the a<lvertisements of 
lands lor sale in the newspapers, filled my notebook 
with the addresses of lawyers and solicitors, and the 
very uiipronoiniccablc names of sundry eligible pro- 
perties, (vornclius V. IMcehan, Es(j., was the first 
solicitor I visited in l)ui)liii. 1 found that gentleman 
in his office, stirronndcd with parchmeiiL and little 
japanned boxes, " chock-full of business," as he said 
himself T inquired about the Killmoran property. 

" Here is a sheet of particuhu's,'' said Cornelius, 
(couHuonly called Corney.) *' INI ay I ask who is your 
man of business in this city?" contiiuied he. 

I replied I had not employed a man of businc;: , 
nor did I intend till I had fuimd something likely to 
suit me. 

" i merely asked that (picstion," said Corney, " as 
a matter of coiu'se. I don't want to fcn'cc my services 
upon any man. ISow, just look here, sir," continued 

B 3 



10 Ur£ IN TUK WBTT. 

he, unruUing a nunfK noc * incfl in the \. 

" ihcrr, 1 ii; »raii, t 

HUid acrr«, U* ihr >aiiir more or Icia. Look to tht 
right, oiiil V(MJ will M.1' tlie bright f^jrrii fickU ».. ^ 
Amhlc lAfid, Iwu huiidrril mid srvcntv-fivc acr 

m 

thrt'i" ^Kxl^. nnd iiifM* p* ' more or Icw^ 

orhlue is the l< 
and r mi thr i.iiilc, thai vttsl ' 

tract bit iin; Ixig ' i 

( oiitiiiii> « riicv, drav If up, •• th«*rf is a 

(u Id, a miHjcc for a vntin^ man of hpirit tu »rL 

hia capital u|ion. 1 4 ,^... talk of going to Amcru .. 
and h|H'iidiii^ their lives in pillinf; up roots of Ir^ 
iLs hriiilv iiiib(>tld<'<l in the soil as \\w niuliireti in in\ 

A ; when In r,al liome, in ouro%%n native iiJc — 

i sav native, ' '1 I | \\ are not a 11 

but 110 I I -<»oii \%ill lie uhc'ii vihi i 

.id lo the .- . 

M^ ubjcctioni» to thi^ pro|)ertv, and the^r viu not 
a few, were met and combateil bv the |>oteiit Corne- 
lius. I doiibte<l the practicability of rei^Uiming the 

•* Go to C*hatiii<><^/ '.»i<l ( ; ii," 

*' But the I id rnii^ tin : 1. 

•* Wont we have raili i our own bog 

uid he. 

*' IVrhapa not,** said L 

*' lie eaii^ oti tluit score,** Mud CoriMv . wont we 
ha\c the fprat .\t^ '* . and all ita braiK'he.s passing 
within t< 11 miles ol Kiliiiinrutr I saw tlie line in^- 
4 It I \^ tip in the i n ofli 

c a brunch from t 
N to Killnit 

• Jhil I mean tu n -.nlr * lid f •• trhf rr is tin 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 11 

d\vclliDf>'- house? the land is in the hands of tenants 

o 

aheady." 

" Tenants at will, every mother's son of thein," 
said Corney ; " you can turn them out, or leave that 
to me. I'll eject them forthwith ; though if you 
like to give them plots in the bog, they'll burrow like 
rabbits, and be thankful to get leave ; but as to the 
dwelling, — let me see, there is one thumping big farm- 
house, with a complete lawn in front of it ; you could 
fit it up for a shooting-cabin, make quite a romantic 
spot in a short time, till you thought of bringing 
your wife ; but I see by your face you are not mar- 
ried yet ; all in good time, though. And now, what 
can be cheaper ? We only ask twenty-one years' pur- 
chase of the present rental, three hundred and fifty 
pounds a-year, seven thousand three hundred and 
fifty pounds. Now, sir, supposing I take upon me 
to say that I'll throw off the odd money, and leave 
it the bare seven thousand," said Cornelius, with an 
alluring smile. 

" I am not prepared to conclude the bargain imme- 
diately," said I; " 1 should like to see Killmoran 
first." 

" O, as you please, sir," said he, very coolly, " it 
may slip through your fingers ; meantime, however, 
don't mind what those tenants say about high rents; 
make no promises, judge for yourself." 

" I mean to do so," said I, putting on my hat ; and 
wishing Cornelius P. Median a good afternoon, 
sauntered towards mine inn. 

Having secured the box-seat on the Galway coach, 
I set out in cpiest of this land of promise ; but the 
strong southwester took away much of the pleasure 
I hoped to enjoy, as far as seeing the country went. 



< > tr ruad nui i loic lu ihc 1 ix Park far • tiiili* or 

two; CO otir \cfi nui iIm* i -hui tiiii|: 

:rcain; Im ii Ur ic rxpaoie, at 

woodrtlfiliiikU iiiliabiirtljiraiilirttl (-tniiiir), I jacked by 
the |»ictiimM|ue IhiUiii «im1 blue Wuklo^ *<">tinlaiiiik 
** Ijouk al llie biggrtt inil«rstune in tbi Ku^ctlom," 
Mid ihc CTiachimm, m we ptmed th/t Wellington ic*- 

t 

1 {>- it wiLH (ieorgr I\ . i.ilUti it an uveqn^*^n 

iiiilr.Htolir, wliuli, iinht-tl, it M v reM*nilil( •« ; 

M ail till l»al(liic.vH aUmt the Y«hoU* rtniceni, 

iiiit timi Us tfomis somi rrsftrHaUn, The marhman 
%%«i:i an oripnal in liiji wav, a very FaLaafT in hi* 
liereon, and one of the most l<M}narioti5 whif^ 1 hail 
ever ^hareti a boxHicat \%ith in mv hfc: he ke|it up a 
nnniin^ ron\ mi \\\\\\ the oiitnide pTH|Li rn, 

riii^ ineti, iaixMirei> in the I |>n-ttv 

^«b(n ibev >h(-wt*tl their t*art*!i at the «1<h i> iiul wni- 

• !o\%h of the 1 and tal»iiui we |».t • n •'h<»rt, 

• .' r^ one knew him, and nMunied hi ^ i ^ . -v- 
full^. lie ttihirewicMl hift hurvcn bjr iianu* ; an<l one 
team in itartieular were \m favouriteK : lie vowetl iherr 

re not their ei|uabi in ihe united kin^^luinis nor 
ii!. i.!« ('hri>tiiulnni. 

** Now, hir,** rwiitl h<', ** ItMik at that ufl* leader ; 
1>< 'h a croH^nwulc, tiKiTM* ^arron, I own, to liMik at, 

I, b^' m^' waajf^t the wmk is in him \ei. NNJicw^h, 

• Vxer n|>, Daniel, mv jewel! 1 call him Daniel, Mr, 

• r our own (^rrat |iainareh ; he*» a rt*al liberator, 

'•«* to |ndl all the rr>l nf^er him. 'Hie ranterinr; 

iiaik ' • le of him I « »'! tli« '^j titinr: ' 

'^ « road* are li< laiflv blnuU n riiM oil 

• r I • i I Itli !•• i tonieihnif: 

^hcw the (id li.. iionc 1 



LlfE IN THE WEST. 13 

call the Peeler. I like to have a stanch tug under 
nij hand, though he's always trying to catch the 
leader b}' the tail. Whew ! clear the road, Daniel ! — 
keep to it, Spatterer ! — no capers, Stanley ; keep in a 
good honest trot, or maybe I wont be coming over 
your ears with the heavy end of the lash. You see, 
sir, before I got Stanley, they had him leader in the 
mail ; they didn't know what he was up to till one 
night, as he was going down the hill at Lucan, having 
nothing better to do, he began to cut capers, and 
then fairly bolted, upset the mail, and the passengers 
were all, more or less, incovcnienced, dirtied, and 
unseated ; true for you, parson, one gentleman got 
his nose broke upon that occasion." 

This last rc[)ly was made by the jolly coachman to 
a thin lath of a clerical prig, with a face like a hatchet, 
and a nose like a lobster's claw ; he had taken 
his seat ri«rht behind the coachman, and made more 
rout at being disap})oinlcd in not getting an inside 
seat than forty old women. The coachman took 
him very qniclly, told him he was better outside than 
inside upon a fme airy morning like this ; assured him, 
with a vast deal of vehemence, that we were all pro- 
tcstants, sound })rotestanls, outsidi', but he could not 
answer for the inside at all, at all. This jest seemed 
to be relished by the passengers on the back scats, 
though I afterwards heard they were Romans, as the 
catholics were called in Ireland. 

We passed the Duke of Leinster's park and the 
blcak-lookiu"' town called Mavnooth. The famous 
old castle rises, in a ruinous mass, out of a brewery- 
yard, and behind it stands the college, a j^lain-looking 
building, without the slightest attempt at architectural 
ornament or classical design. 



14 UFi w ruK wnr. 

-tncf the time oTCafdiiial Woliwv to the firraent 
cl.(\. inorr than bcrr hat been I r the 

- 'U of that ancient forliilif*,** ^^^^ t\ r^nn, m wr 

%< iiirled out of ihe town. 

Km romit we paaed two cauok, anil. Kxufding to 
the coachman, tliej were not happy fpecolatiooi 

" Hill, for all that, the fly-boats baTe takrti, ami will 
tak< beat part of your paMenger* from you«" 

huu\ the pafaon ; ** I intciid to |MUronuie the boalu my- 
irif. in futnre.** Raid he. 

i i;i^ provoked the coachman s ire ; he taid, ** There 
was a niif^hty fn^at difference between traTcUing like 
a gentleman on top of a uporting coach, and meaking 
up a bit of a ditch, like an old woman fi»liing for 

! 

lint the |>.ii oil <1( • ) the )>oat was ) il>le ; 

** in it a maui tni^ht »t retell hi?' Ie«n, n-.u! Ii vs- 

paper, write his letterh, uith<Mit ^ h am pered with 

great coats and na»tj old women inside a coach ; or 

expooed, as he was at |ire9ent, to the cold wind and 

ribaldrj of an ignorant fellow outside a coach.** 

'Hirrrwiwrior n^ to this; but when the |iarBon 

^ot down he I' tiM ; i\ the coachinaii, iunl liamled 

liiin lialf-a-cn)wn, deman<liii^ the change iminediatelv. 
one ^llillingand^ Tliei-iNU'hninn •. 

»!"' money in hi** ixx-krt, rxrlnimintr, •* l^tnt; life to 
,..nr reverence.*' 

•• (Jive me rav mai ^m-iferated tlu i i. 

•r testants for ever; ** -d tit ui. 

} the I lii. 

** l.oim*, none <it your natiteiis« I the angry 

parson; **liauil me down my rlinni- 

•• ril rememU'r your revereiKc wlieii yi»<. re- 
tuniiug lo LhibUu," cncU the coaduuau; aiul. ex- 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 15 

claiming "Protestants for ever!" we drove off, leav- 
ing the enraged parson, bag iu hand, by the road 
side, 

" Now, he'll think more about that paltry one-and- 
sixpence," said the coachman, "' than if he lost a years 
tithe. I have whipped him up and down for the last 
twelve years, inside and outside, and I never get more 
than a hog at a time from him. He has a snug living 
down here, but it wont satisfy him, he wants to be a 
bishop ; cook him up with a mitre and crook, like the 
swinging sign of St. Patrick. Indeed, to be sure, he 
has great interest, they say, at the castle always, no 
matter who reigns there. All the fat is in the fire, 
unless the parson, with the long nose, takes his share 
of the cookery, lie's called, on the road, the castle 
hack ; and a good one he is, too, for many a good 
pannier of game he carries up to the castle folks ; I 
often wonder where he finds so much wild-fowl, but 
they say he keeps a score of pot-wollopers beating 
over other men's grounds for game, and bagging every 
feather in the coiuitry ; to be sure it must cost him a 
sight of money, but it s a good speculatitjn, for all the 
time, I hear, he's feathering his nest." 

" He don't belong to any particular party ?" said I. 
" No, bv niv Sony;," said the coachman, with a lauciih; 
" he would persuade a saint he was always on the right 
side of the question, as long as he was iu the same 
boat with the governor. If you heard him, as I have, 
taking up the cudgels for the new man in ofiice, who- 
ever he happened to be, you'd say not a wink was on 
liini. It's a good while ago since I heard him defend- 
ing that little governor some fellow threw a bottle at 
iu the theatre ; he was all in all with him. They say 
that governor got the living for liim j but when he 



16 uie IN TUB wiuir. 

went out, and aiioiber nuin came in, t) ^' *n 
(|uilc at uirfiil to li: ii I luivr hcanl In . * Wt- 

have mm A man of ^t(•rlins woiili niHl «« -.ilth at (he 
head ot Ihu iIh out. ami 

made mom for another, — thcM. ..:•. enough 1 thought it 
waft all over with m^r |t»-ir>on. 1 whipiHti him up to 
Dublin, ami not a wonl had he to ihmw to a ih^, for 
the new lieutenant wai» a^ «liff(*n iit frmn the oUl as 
dav ami ni^ht ; but ihrre i\ay aft<T I t*N>k him up in 
V ' iv^ UMial, so full • A n<-\«^ (hat 

he cmiKl not ki-ip it to hiniM It. 

***We have at last a gallant, grncroui*, and entrr- 
pnMU^ spirit at the helm,* isaid he, to a liothered Con- 
naught man, who sat be»ide him, whc» mistook wluit 
lie said, and told him he never oamcil (hr like aUmt 
him : hut, as the morning wn> c«>lil, he'<l join him in 
a II of •!( (he ne.X )»uhlie-hou>c. 

I I ('Nik him up rij^lidv : ' Voiir n \rre' 
Ni\f^ I. * 1 don't think thi^ man i> ii» tnic blue .l^ the 
la L 

'* * 1le\i a stanch 8Up|iorter of the church, though a 
nioii ut the |MH>ple,* wan hia rrpl> • then he whi^ra 
in my ear, * Did you ever dream of driving a bishops 
coach — v«»u «lo«», vou T 

" \V< il. Hir, the man of >piri( was < <l to walk 

off, mid (lien some of (he old hands came tuek a«;ain. 
llow the |Mrson had (he faet* (o faee (Ikiii 1 il«*n'l 
know, but i^lien 1 uliip|icnl him downajirain. he tidked 
of liaving U*f*n to the caMie to congraluhite his ok! 
friemU u|»oti (heir s|HXMly rrtuni ; but when titeir 
liacks were tiirnetl, and a new man om k(*it I * nm*! 
at us wr IumI i' : ' ' Vlunl from 

P I to I 111 (hat to (lie i> and 

down to III -I- ^ :lil now; we have 



LIFE IN TUE WEST. 



a man \vith a mind, and a heart, and a soul at the 
head of affairs; we must prosper.' But a Roscommon 
grazier took him up mighty sharp upon that. 

" ' Whv,' says Michael Balff, ' this great man of 
yours must be no great shakes, after all ; fur I never 
heard of anvthinnr that had neither a mind, nor a 
heart, nor a soul, barring a wheelbarrow with a 
scrcechino- rrudf^eon.' But when that governor shewed 
us the back seams of his stockings, and was fairly gone, 
the parson was just as proud of his successor, for he 
now says, 'This is the man we were looking for— a 
ereat genius, a man of wit, a man of the people, a 
supporter of church and state, a philosopher, a field- 
officer, and'— (calling to a man on the back seat) — 
Jerrv Mac Manus, what's this Lanty Doolan, the great 
schoolmaster in your town, calls himself?" " A lithe- 
rary character," was the reply. '^ That's it," continued 
the coachman ; " so I suppose the lithcrary character 
has promised him a bisho[)ric at last ; but I'm afeard 
he wont make me his coachman, because I took the 
eighteen-pence from him ; and the divil a pin I care, 
for I would rather die in harness, driving gentlemen 
on my own big coach, than be dog to any big man's 
coachj in the castle or out of it." 

We now approached the ancient town of Athlone. 
I had been led to expect something very superior to 
any of the towns we had already passed, from the 
coachman's brilliant description of his native city ; 
indeed, he waxed poetical as we approached it, 
bursting out into (quotations from a poem, he called 
the " Battle of Aughrim, or Siege of Athlone." Ac- 
cording to him, Athlone was lost through the obsti- 
nacy of the Irish general, St. Ruth, who refused to 
advance his army from Aughrim to assist the besieged. 



I» UFB IN Tin: wcjrr. 

when nil «itiii(-i tiorn the* U <i. oii In la* Lik<«. 

< till St. liiith lo tend itiiiucdiatr aid lu the he- 

ih aiMWcn^' IVll Uicin 8l Kuth i> hire, 
aiiil ihal will do.' 

•• iJiil ihc* inrNbeiigcr luwwcre — * Yniir nid will smrc 
much hctter than jour iiamc.' 

•• • Bear liack inj anitwcr, friend, ftuiu wiivmi yju 
canic, n-plics St. Iliitli. 

'* AihI now, hir, I lave it lo you, wahu I tliat a pn-tty 
aoftwcr lo M-nd into m ilanring an<l unrurtiiiialc gar- 
rison ?*' 

*' Not very satisfactory,** saitl 1, ** at all events.** 

** You may well say that,*" continued the coachman; 
**but when the town was Icwt, mu\ taken hy the Ln^lii4i, 
General Sinifiehl pave it to St. Kiiih in prime Myle; 
he hurst out into tears of aogcr, und c.\( laimed — 

* O heaven* ! Ai1iUh»c i% Io'V •' • lovely »<-4t, 
Tbc |>nde of ftn{iirr, ainl i..^ ....oik* of »uie.' 

- 1 am Mjrrv 1 can't finish it for your honour, for 
here we arc at the turnpike of the town T and we 
rattleil into a heg^rly account of thatchetl eahins, 
liaH-iliatilietl and hlatcni h<' tlirii'^tin;; tlieir gahle 

ends fronts, and rrarn ii|H»n the nwid, 1 * Jwrely 

room for our ctMich to {Kt^.s iM'twccn the luiy uindowii, 
I 1!*' jKjlcs huinpiiip sipns that ad»»ni for ever the 

main street of that '* pride of mipin- and throne of 
Ktalc,** the anticpie liorou^h of Athlonc. Nevcrthelc*?ui, 
here I reaolvi-d lo halt for llie ni^ht, and Iwini; M*t 
down at the dot »r nf what he calli^l ilic only decent 
1 in the town, I i * t * ,^ ^^^^^\ foUoweil a 

^* ' •' r into the hotel, 

•♦ i'his ua>, ^ir,*' said the waiter; " up btains r 



LIFE IN TUE WEST. 19 

pleas^ — all the parlours are full of gentlemen refresh- 
ing themselves, as it is market-day ; but we will be 
empty enough before night." 

The waiter threw open a bed-room door, and was 
told to bring j.ip materials for four jovial farmers sitting 
round a table. 

"Come this way," said he, hurrying to another 
door, which he opened with the same success, and at 
another received a torrent of abuse from some ladies 
who Avere thus unceremoniously intruded upon. Ano- 
ther room was found occupied by the fashionable hair- 
dresser of the town, who had caught a young squire 
from the country, and had enveloped the sufferer in a 
large patch-work (juih, pinned (irmly round his neck, 
as lie sat staring at the singuhir twists of his counte- 
nance in the wavy looking-ghiss. 

" Step through this room," said the waiter, '• into 
the closet, until the gentleman gets his hair cut, and 
then, sir, you'll have the whole room to yourself" 

I apologized, and begged of the gentlemen not to 
hurry themselves. 

4. Very ]iolite man, that," said the barber to his 
patient, as 1 shut myself into the closet, and, throwing 
open the window-sashes, looked down upon the 
crowded street. 

The market was over, yet the people lingered about 
the public-house's corner and gateways, drinking, 
lauffhinir, and shoutiu";; while ever and anon rose 
high in air the dolorous scream of pigs homeward- 
bound on cars, or urged through the crowd with 
blows and imprecations l)y their indignant masters ; 
while the bellowing of kine, bleating of sheep and 
goats, songs of ballad-singers, and the loud and long 
blessing of the beggars, made the welkin ring. My 



boum, t(M ) 

lo llir <** 
btrti in i 


- -* 


•t: !■••• 
• t .ili'i 




ir : it 


Ilium )i(Miin 


II 





SO UWm IN TUS WMT. 

lo rtiT ncxi fifjor fli i^h- 
. adding their <, 
i iiiisht Aft writ hive 
the ^l< |Mr- 

■ <ii%ar, a^\ a d<M»r iin> 
coiucious of a hick, did ih>i at all |*frvefit oh* frum 
being almcM iHie u( tin* fvinv. I liad cili»rnrr<l, m 
pmssaut^ ih.ii ilu* hainlrrt#er waa an <*ngifial in hit 
wajr — an iflh*. sh>iu*hifi^. vci conwqnrniial {irrMjfiage, 
with a p) at oiut niiiiiidttl nir of ohl 

I "•* ir.i 1. '\'\h- \%ii'% 

nil 1 Id Im' off, lull the* Ii.iimJ! Ma> in no 

htirrv lo lit hiiii hlip to C';i>ilv. lit liml lliroun open 
one of the winduwn, and frrqiiciitlv iitatle hi.n a|9pear- 
ante, leaning verj lri.«iin*lv ii|Min thr wimlow mII, 
^nkiiig to Wis frinidii Ih*Iow, and nodding familiarlT 
to the rn»wd, liil ihr sqnire*» rage rme ; tlirn wcnild 
the hn <«cr mum, and endeavour to mullifv the 

li.vtv 

m 

•* (?onie out of the windou, and cut iiiv hair," nwrrd 
the M|iiin* ; ** Ml ne%er Ije home in liiiie for tliniier." 

Hut the Imrlier atill cn>ntiniied at the wiiMluw. 
** II •■ * line dav this (*oqdar l)ein|ip*ejf — very" 

•* i 11 ull Mm what it ih- hv the virtue of niv i»aih, 
111 llintw you down ii|Min iIk- heathi of the |)eo|>le 
vmrrr lalling lo, inatcad of n ig \our hu>inejv4!* 

I'rictI ilii- Miuire. 

•• Armh — don'l make a JimIv of vonrM-lf, M.i^ier 
Thoin. riit-fr. Ml (|tliel, Al\i\ I'll filit>h >OU otil (»f A 
fare. Don't iqieak of throwing nie n|ion llie heail of 
that orderly man, C*oq>Ur l>em|tt«ey ; if he wtti 
killeil. the |)eo|ile %%«Mild k'«v ii waa a ImHtanHi* action. 
Don't i>la|) iiiv head .igain, I viv. in that iiii|>crliiirnl 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 21 

" Stop, raFcal I — 3^011 have pi;iven me a clip on the 
car : and do you mean to cut all the hair oft" the back 
of my head ?" 

"To be sure I do— better to be out of the world 
than out of the fashion, as (^orplar Dempscy says." 

" But I wont have my hair cut like a corporal." 

"Not you, indeed; you must have it cut like En- 
sitrn Fubl/s in rear, and curled up in front, like Blu- 
cher's in my front window. Now, stop a bit till I 
regale my nose, as Major O'Flannagan says when I'm 
shavinnr him. Do you snuff, Master Tliom ?" 

" Confoimd your snutf— you have let some of it 
fall into my eye." 

" Bear it, child, bear it ! as my grandmother, rest her 
soul, used to say when I burnt my fiugers. Now I'll just 
look out of the window, and take the liberty of blow- 
ing my nose. There lioes three officers of the dirimt. 
Ah, the nice fellows I gapiug like three turkeys after 
one another, with three chins in the air, because they 
can't link, (m account of the pigs and the people. 
There stands my old frieud. Sir John B., conunander 
of the forces ; shall I salute him ? — No. And why ? 
— because he's not on duty, and it would be irregular 
iu me to notice him. Drest his wig this morning — 
gave me four shillings for the same. Now he's talk- 
ing to Sir James, the rich subaltern lately joined us. 
Sir John and Sir James— how fashiouably they laugh ! 
— the two sirs throwing back their head -, and knock- 
intr their heels tojj-ether. Easy to see they are nobi- 
lity. If that uuisieal ballad-singer would be (piiet, 
and that farmefs wife just hold her pig's mouth, I 
might hear what they are saying." 

Again did the squire protest he would tlnow the 



tf LiFK ijr Tint inMT. 

bfj barber o«.t <•. ibr window, and again ditl f**** 
barbrr |irr«uadr him to ni t ' 

** Now •I'!'* Ah, Ma«i ilium, vmrrr n wot;. 
ni |Mit jour hair in iriMis. Ill i»t*l ifitigr «n iniich a<i 
a cal*ii luair. I i a ruH— kcp tluil r<»r SuiidaT. 

and il uiil U* ihi> ii> >« lor aiiuit 

•* Vou an* Uin..*.^; • . ^ 

'* li*s raabm vou amell. v\u. l i .^ ^ tha 

Wedira arc taking a wbrt in tiur iR'it room." 

•* Tbeir, 1 kiirw it — vou bare burnt iu> iiiut — 

** C I -•- that tune, af jour iii. 
to tl r.** 

'i if butfineai, and never mind mv > 

" Wt-ll, luit vuu*rt growing niit^hty caiti 
Master Thom, thougb 1 nevrr mt rour hair but it 
riuiin<( one of jour uncle'ii buj, ., .^. u. Aaiiaf|nare 
man •• fond of music that he maintained a blind 
tidtlliT. wh<KM* oecupalion wan to »it scmitui^ hit fiddle 
from r till n' ' 'nide the '4 door. 

I k4|inrt> waK dn-vMi 

I . ou tlie tttaJr« : hut oui* 

^4|inn' waa shaving 1. .1. 1m* 
, ^. kiH*|»ing time uilh the rarur 
un..ti (tiie clicek, oimI then upon the otbc*r, th«*n upon 
111- < iitn, and the fabler old T(*<ldv rwqietl llie fa»ter 
the M)uin* rmHped, till Tf*«ld\, tiiinkin;^ he \«a!i|>l4ving 
for ilanrcn*, cried out a» usual. ' unp uiih bii 

feet u)>on tlu* Kiicht and i ( partncn— 

>' rmior 

friun 1 L to li . for- 

^: mmc ttood. liki* .. . ni thr : .> iiie: 

Dtit. hv iiiv .i'.\ kittHy he «a- li.ii » ^irr\* t .^ 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 23 

whipped a good inch off the end of it, l)nt lie liad too 
great a spirit to give in: so, ^ Change that tune,' says 
he to bhnd I'eddy, and went on shaving his throat 
to the Kinnegad Slashers." 

" 1 don't beheve one word of it." 

" Now, Master Thorn, if any one else told j^on, you 
would believe it. But sit quiet for one minute, and 
I'll make you look like a lion. I say it, though I lost 
the best place ever I had by telling my master he 
looked like a lion. That was when I lived with the 
Roman Count OTJauley, long before you were born. 
I was his wallet — though now the}' have Frenchified 
it into valet, but wallet it ought to be, because what 
has a single man's servant to do but take care of his 
portmnntle, as they call the wallet, but in my time I 
had to carry the count's wallet upon my shoulder after 
him. Wherever he went he rode on horseback, for 
he said it was the only way a knight should adventure 
himself from one country-seat to another; and cer- 
tainly it was the cheapest way in the world, for the 
count adventured himself into many a simg dinner- 
party, and then I adventured myself with his wallet 
into the kitchen, and the old horse adventured him- 
self upon the lawn at the first hay-stack he met, and 
so we got on in the country. i>ut when we went to 
Dublin, times were altered, for we paid for everything 
at the Brazen Head, exce])t the count's dinners, and 
he dined out every day; but I had a hard lite of it, 
for the count became as cross and bitter as soot. He 
had the terriblest tongue I ever heard, and no wonder; 
for when he was by himself he whetted it upon 
French, and hardened it upon German, and case- 
hardened it in good old Irish, till he got the sting of 
all the languages upon the tip of his tongue. But 



24 LI IK IX Tin: wi>T. 

rnough ntlUtl up in hu lii^ Imnxnii with a fur rtillar; 
but iIm* iiuuurnl Uv waM tln*^«<<tl — on w«»w ! i. .» 

WAM ; mmI for liini llit'ii- lit* U an |inMi(i :iim1 

fiiu' a% liriii ll4in»litiir ; in hImiiI, thrrr mjiM iiu »|»« • 
in^ to liiiii, Mt 1 |4M»L |(» liiiintiuriii); liini. like a rni.«r 
chiUL I rotn|iarr«l him to NclMiirn pillar um* i\uy, 
aiul lie |Mit liin liaml in liix |M»rkel aiMl |^vc iiir a trn> 
fM'nnv bit. I tiM>L tlir hint, nfu\ vscty cvrning Itcfurr 
1m* went f»ut 1 • ' ' i ti> M»uirtliiiig graiMl and 

haiulxinic, till nt l;t-t tin- ulil wanp ) to think it 

was |mrt ofnivdutv. NNcll, I uon* oui nil the < hitnli 
ntc'ipU'N u|M>n hiiu. to the round rhurrh that \uv< 
iirvtT a steeple nt all ; anil then. U'ing hartl nin, 1 
tohl him not one of the seven chnnipioiiM of ('hri^ten- 
dom ctMild hohl a candle to him, but not a rap lie 
gnvf nie lor that, nor vet for the nine worthirv, lie 
botfte«l he uan a U'tlcr man of bii*>in«>vi than anj 
nienhant in Dublin, l>orn uith a |m*ii U-hiiid lit5 car, 
lM*4*auM- he fortM-il the landladx to lakt>M»iiir dittos cMit 

of bin I lie was ver>' proud that ( 1 no 

wundt r. 

*** Count/ toiTK 1. 'yon Ijeat the mcamirfr/ and 
till now 1 thought he w.xh the complettHtl man of bti^i- 
IMTM in l>ul»liii/ 

•• • \\ ln/s hi''' "^-ud the count, looking verk ini'*- 
truftfollv at hic. 

" ' 11*- •taiid'4, ^ir/ vix^ I. ' Im hiiul ilu titunter in a 
grand ^hop in Dame " '. ami nulrttl it u«Mild do 
juur honour ^immI to «top at li. »r, and ItMik 

in at him traiiKorting lm^^ne1•— lit II lake the yaixl mj/ 
tmy 1» taking up the r«»uiit'« cane, 'ami hr'll udi out 
a piece of diniiiy along the counter, till it lcMik« like 
a nt. . rrdccting all the routj^ and |>aaie% 



LIFE IN THK AVEST. 25 

and branches upon its banks ; and I defy any man to 
say how many yards he has measured when he stops, 
tears ofF tlie sclvidge witli a screech, rolls it up in 
paper, twists the ends, jingles the change, bobs his 
head at his customer, with "anything else to-day, 
ma'am ?" and all this, while a cat would be licking her 
ear.' 

" * Soo,' says tlie count, as if he smelt something 
unpleasant. ' He's some low shopkeeperish rascal — a 
cheat, I'll warrant, " a thing of shreds and })atches." • 

" * May be he is,' says I, and the next day 1 stood 
outside his shop door, I watched the measurer closely. 
There he was, as brisk as a bee, throwing out nudl 
muslin, like sleet, to an easy country gentlewoman ; 
then he flo])s down a roll of bombazine upon the 
counter, and handles his yard.' 

" * Now,' says I, 'I'll watch you, my man;' and 
away we pegged together — he measuring, and I 
counting out loud, for the bare life. ' One, two, 
three, four, ten,' says I. 

" ' Twenty-five,' says he. 

" ' Ten — it's only ten,' says T, bawling at him. 

" ' Oh, measure that again,' says the lad}-, 'I beg !' 

*' * Of course,' says he, ' anything to please, ma'am ;' 
and, in a pop, he came over the counter, and made at 
me with the yard. ' (io along out of that, you black- 
guard,' said he, * blocking uj) my door with your 
bandy legs and ugly face ;* and he hits me upon the 
shins with the 3\ar(l till I roared out " murder !' 

" ' O, you rascal,' says I. ' Till now I thouirht 
you were a complete man of business : but i agree with 
master — you're a vile shopkeeperish rascal — a cheat, 
I'll warrant, "^ a thing of shreds and patches.*' ' 

*^ ' I despise the pair of you,' says he. 

C 



f% I trr IV Ttir vrwvr. 

•* • The Count O'iiawlrv nlmll hrar of rmtr ilitrr- 
fpedfiil ruiHliirt/ MTU I. 

** • III ' * ^ »• yoii cm ihr waicli,* my% hr. 

•• • Wnii. t vmril ^iip »iam»w for llu^ mil 

■WAV I mil III ilir itHiiii. ' <\Miiit/ mv^ I. tin* 

honour (»r vimr f.' inkr your twonl, aii<l -r 

tlial FMcmllv inrA.«iin'r iM-liiiul Iiin <h»uii' 

** • Why i«lunil«l I ilmw niv "wcinl u|»«iii tin \ ^mbT 
Mid hr, luiglit^r phaqt. 

" • IkTiuwr.* laijii I, * lir npokr lightly' of v.m nnrl 
n.i|i|MHl \m fingv^m in ilcrUion at jmi.* 

* Aiul lio\r (Inrr yiMi intnithu^r my n aiiir into your 
low niiu'i«tiiiti r, your i ' ' >ii hnix^U,' «»«%?* ;' it, 

in • niffp; iumI uitli tliat he liit.< iik* a t|> 

acrmM the knrt*^ with hin ranc — it went to my very 
heart. 

" • C*ount.* MIT" I. ' tlini'^ I he *«in'«t tondi of nil — 
you l>ent the nieaturrr.' 

" Hut tliat\ iriM*. 1 mii^t tell you h«>w we parted, 
i ikv oHUil wtut ^oiiig to the ( V«itle Unll one ni^lil, nnd 
I liiui iM-tii worliiii; like a s\n\'r for five t»r ^ix liotirH 
liefore lie witn tln><tH04l to liis tntinfarlioii, for wr had 
gut a loii^ •*\x kin^-^law in the room, aoil 

the eoiiiit uotild iriiif U'fiirt* it f«»r hall an 

hour al a lime to tc^ if hi*i ( 1 fillrtl him to hi«* 

likiif/ H>»f nt I I Mit him altogether; and in- 
d«*«nl ill >*iii^ .1 |.'i. ;Mi« to hM>k al, from hin ahoe- 
huckh^ to hilt kni^^hueklr^ hin thin latli« of le^ in 
i>. ilk MtiM'kin^, \%ith \ellow ihtekii, hi*« flo\trn*d 

iilk it. thr flap'* tlninn do^^ii (*on^ >t to hi> 

I tilt II I) 1 ! • . tl 

of \«hi(*h I irt 

(»iit ! ill a null i id 

tiriit nil thr ft— t. I hnti hi^' Imir frt/rh^l oiil. niul al 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 27 

the same time, swept back from his face, and confined 
in a noble ckib at the back of his neck, then the three 
round patches upon his face to mark the beauty spots. 
He thought he had a sweet expression in his face ; 
but any one witli lialf an eye would think he had 
steeped his face in lemon-juice ever}' morning, and 
dried it again in a north-east wind ; but when he was 
putting his cocked hat under his arm, I stepped back 
and addressed him. ' Count,' says I, * you look like 
a lion.' He liked that. 

" ' Yes,' says he, S(juinting sideways in the looking- 
glass, ' there is something royal in my bearinc; ; but, 
apropos,' says he, very briskly, * where did vou see a 
lion, my good fellow ?' 

" ^ I saw one,' says I, * with the showmen in Sack- 
ville Street.' 

*' * In Sackville Street?' says the count. 

" * Yes, indeed,' says I, ' and by the same token, he 
danced upon the tight rope when the band played 
Tatter Jack Welsh.' 

" * Why, that was an ape,' says the count, growing 
as black as my hat. 

" ' I ask your honour's pardon,' says I. * I heard 
one of the showmen say it was one of the lions of the 
European world.' 

" * It was an — ape, an ape !' cried the count, grasp- 
ing his cane, and cutting capers with fair s])ite. 

u ( Well, it was an ape,' says I, ' and barring your 
honour, I never saw a more outlandish and fine-dressed 
gentleman.' With that the count became wild with 
anger. 



(( i 



To my face to compare me to a rascally monkey 
— your benefactor ! — an ape, an ape !' 

" I threw myself upon my knees, but the count 

c 2 



jo UWT, n* Tlir WWMT, 

tii:»ut a blow at mr, tbrn tip with the enne tiW atioilirr 
wc*ll, aiicl he iiliMalM*il tlt«* big lauktnf(-gUi« brbiiid 

l/iiii. .111.1 1 ilivr^l uiuItT iIm- l»ctl. 

(*oinr«HU— r .iv» he. 

itv IIIV lifr,' »Ml\^ I. 

m m 

\ t/ ivaVfi lie, • vtMi pn^^uiiu* in«»ii inv 1- 'Y 

loo (mt. I \iAxv th«* tciii|M-r ofuii an^rl (o U'ar with yoiL* 

** * A MMiil — ail a|)u«llr,* mij* 1. frtnu uiulrr ilu U-U. 
After all I iliil for yoiiV mp the rouni. 

" * True (u€ vou, roiinl/ ^av* I, befrinniiig lu sub. 
• Barm of mv v\ e — inie for vou, rounl." 

•* * IVnl lo S4>firlj.' 

•* • True lo _v*Hi, count.' 

•« • Sink of iiiitiiiilv/ says Im* ; * but 1 woiil ruffle 
tiivivlf — I wont ilt-nuigf mv *ln»!«.* 

•• * 1)0111, cuiinl,' sav I. ' n iiiiii»!}rr vonr nifflea 
il«»iri drmiiire yuumelf.* 

" ' I iKTivivr vou*n* niorr kua%i iii;ni f«M>l/ :fc;»\> tbe 
. iiiit. iiimi that lir omliliri >trike iwe willioiit ^tMtiiig 

•• • Anything your honour likrs, f«»r |M*aoe* nakr,' 

«IY«« I. 

Tin II you ri»nf«-xs ytMin* a n»fft>e,' aav« lie, draw - 

ing bU iiworJ, aiwl htrikiii)< aJi ohl liuot fnun one eod 
of llie nnjfii to tbf ulbcr. * Ychi bnvr n.l.U'i! tnr. 
coiiicfli tlie fact aiitl ilie/ aayrt lir. 

*' ' Tbe cliaimian wont wait any longer. >«i\> iiu 
cbambeniuud, outjtkle the* (bM»r: aiul ilt«* rtiuni \M-n( 
off, I I'ul at itic like an old trrricr |»ulUd a\%.i\ 

ffooi a badger. 

** * 1« lie gone?^an\ 1 to ihi- > jcruMiJ. luni- 

bling out fruui under ilir Im J. 

•* llr ?- * -nyi iJie ; * tlic\ ba* • « »m« «1 l»ini rmnui 
lu: coriKi. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 29 

" And indeed I didn't come to myself for an hour 
after, till the landlady sent me a good glass of spirits 
to revive me, and then I took my bundle under my 
arm and quitted the counts service, and before he 
came back to the Brazen Head, I was at home in my 
own hotel — a house I rcconuuend you to stop at when 
you go to Dublin, jNIaster Thorn, the Wig, in Stoncy- 
batter." 

While the barber ran on thus, the squire frequently 
lost all patience with him, and at last started up, tear- 
ing off the quilt, and putting aside the barber, prepared 
to depart. 

"One moment more," cried the barber; "sit down 
till I put a drop of oil on your hair." 

" You have no oil," rcphcd the squire. 

" Plenty," replied the barber. 

" Then where is it?" cried the s(piire. 

" Oh, here it is! 1 have it now; how cunningly 
Mike had it hid on the top of the press! You per- 
ceive, I always leave a depot with the waiter." 

" That's not oil," said the squire, as the barber be- 
gan shaking a large bottle. 

" It's the royal vegetable curling fluid ; there, now 
your head is well soaked with it; depend upon it, 
your curls wont go out till Sunday." 

" Confound your fluid, you have burned my head," 
cried the scjuire ; " what have you poured on my hair, 
you rascal ?" 

" Well, there's no harm done," said the barber ; 
" it tastes like bitters." 

" Bitters, you rascal ! — how dare you pour bitters on 
my head?" 

" It's not bitters, Ma.^ter Thom ; but Til ask the 
waiter — it smells like black bottle." 



30 i.irK m Tiis wwt. 

A »utUu:n unw\ ami um- .j, ..» ib€- iirccl ttfed »*>* 
liMfbrr Inmi i>i« hoMil tiMli(^ulion of the •qutrr. 

^ lr» A row— ilV a r . Mrvtdiiiig oui ut 

n . arr al it in 1>< 

rr p) ihrtM ( il men l<«»king 

for lUvy tlv out uf llic \unif>e at thick aa 

ht^ . to ^ou, IVihereen ('»wv, you'rv a 

I . i>cr lie hated man at ih<- cml of »-hatidkd 

wattle— flnil tliciii right oimI left— there wiM »-» wigi 
mi »' 'I ; I lan't htanil it, I miu»i Imj oil, wii««a.* 

Ami I hid mit uf tlie ruooi, followed 

hv I iiiirr, who had Utii K*ni' ' • at hia brad 

with a towel; Imt the row dro\c hia own mce 

out of hU hciul, and calihiiig up hiA limt and whip, lie 
madt- hi^ r\it alao. 

A I i.^ ;, l»lejw my stars 1 have giH safe out of th* 
bon>uf^ of Athlone, th ■•/*■. at starting upon niT 
liai-k jaunting car. 1 de.H|»aiitii of fitting mirot^ thai 

tlie hridgr, with wh«>lr lionai; 

'led lK>iii'->rtter, 
I «• ol thr H' '* I" <*'»«»ft 

(hnaiiirlinii «m <vt rv Mdr. pt. .: the leg« of its 

occu|iauU to each a|.j , ir, rart, carriage, 

earavan, and pn»jetiioii likely to x.^ n u|»«mi, and 
rrntl off our lower f»tremitie» ; Imt lie tliat crtiMcd 
the hri<lgr of Athlon 



** \\\.nr tim wt mltan owB tftaiHr v f«i»», 

ufM»n an €Mit^i«l« lM)iir- . \%ill not lorgrl that 

I of Ixith ftlU'll** iltl- rilC IIM»l»l • li- 

i s of . . ng the ' I* pr.i : hv the 

voting t« irn, who tMotiiii ImiIiIIv aiwl ^l^p Irar- 

i..^.K fr..fn IxniHter l^ * .iiin**«' *^»«, and liark again 
ijjioii * * * tltlcra, anu ,.-iiu uf toon tr} men, 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 31 

COWS, sheep, swine, donkeys, corn-sacks, barrels, and 
baskets, wedged in dense mass between the parapets, 
struggUng forward with might and main, or pausing 
in wrath, while the light-heeled and familiar towns- 
men trip over them at pleasure. We progressed some 
eight miles into Connaught, gradually leavhig green 
fields, plantation, and civilization behind us; we 
entered a waste of bog and swamp, enlivened with 
solitary potatoc patches, and cabins rivalling wigwams. 

" Is it to Kilhuoran your honour's going ?" said the 
Whi}), pulling up his brown hack. 

'' Yes," said I. 

" Because," said he, "it's over forninst you now; 
there ought to be a booreen (lane) somewhere here- 
abouts, but maybe they have broke down the bridge." 

" Where is Kilhuoran ?" said I. 

" Don't you perceive it just before you?" said tli3 
Whip — " that little hill in the bottom, about a cpuirter 
of a mile across the bog ?" 

My first impulse was to return at once ; but having 
come so far, I resolved to see it out — leaving the 
jarvey to follow as best he might, upon the booreen. 
I leaped a wide dike or trench by the road side, and 
the next second found myself knee-deep, firmly 
planted in the peat or bog, from which I extricated 
my legs, minus one boot, and experienced consider- 
able disagreements in recovering said boot from the 
tenacious bog. Having regained my equilibrium, I 
adventured across the morass, ho})ping from one tuft 
of heath to another, eschewing the black and decep- 
tive bog : the surface, forsooth, upon which a young 
man ought to embark his capital, according to (Cor- 
nelius jMcehan. I was soon hailed by a noisy pack 
of cur dogs; they scampered to meet me from the 






urs w rtiB W0T. 

ofMnokv low. tin- .rw«im, ImiiIi 

grtNiml or iIuk! in llir U»j: ; I krpt th<in«l 

l.vilin" won) , , . *l i»l ihc il«Hir 

..,....., ikhc icndmctl in Irish at « nia 
ili- "— in lib poUUoe patch, «ihI poinlr^' -i"? ..:.: 
at uik , llw num ihrrw clown hin ^n•tU . ..ihI ran (iff 
into llic Uip an fast as hU lof* ' iM tarrr him. 

I now ! ! a ^WIl^n of hallt lot! iliiiHrrii • • 

!"r«mi cvcrv cihin ; i»rr?*cnllv mc n and \%oin. ! .: I 

in knots, sprakinj: wiOi ti»n«»i Ic vc ! 

their native toiipir, ami p »»H "s wiWIr 

laizanmc in a storm. 1 ubMT^ctl, niorvorer, thai i 
recriletl a* I ailvance<l, ami, ijrnonuit of the caiLvr, I 
lialted as 80*jn as I hail paincti UrraJimM^ accosted 
an oM woman who ^ll^\%«Ml licr 5inoke-<lnr<l viiagc at 
the door of ihr nrari'M raliin, and i!i(|nirtHl if llit-* was 
not lilt- (iiuidand of Killinornn. 

Tlie licUUnc aiihwcnd wilh a sneer, •• And w«ll 
vou know it in." 

I drew the rrnt-roll and hlievl of |Kin!rnl.ir>» from 
my j»ocket to n*frcj*h iiiv incmorY. 

' ^f ^ ^ •])le,** naid I — for the tcnantis iii«ii. 

wtfint n. aiitl t ttiulrt'ii, IumI advniicetl to -rt ihr 

old woman — '* m v g»»od )hmi{i1c, can \r nilurni me 
where in I'hil t'onnor. and pIcaKC to |)oiiil oul his 
Imkikt and It ^, 1" — An oiipr^ laiiph nml a shoat 

of tlrn<>ion cut ^llo^t inv in«|) 

■ M^ ((uod JM-Jiplr," sjiid I, • I .111 >uq»riMtl. i 
nelitu Meelun, U--j., infoniuti iiic that— (ei.t 'f 
iin \mck again to sweet (\Hnev !) ** After coming no 
fut " d I. •• to nee tlie place 

" Well, M TV |Mid for iir wtud a brawn v. 

red-lieaded labourer. 



LlFi: IN THE WEST. 



33 



'' Paid for what?" said I, with unfeigned surprise. 

" You know for what, and so do I/' he rephed — 
" to sane us to be sure."* 

" I mean to serve you all as far as Hes in my 
power," said I, with a glow of philanthropic zeal, 
which was speedily checked and extinguished, when 
I observed the aforesaid men, women, and children, 
picking u}) handfuls of mire, clods, peat, and stone ; 
then came the courteous invitation, '' [Make voursclt 
scarce, and we'll give you a fair start across the bog. 

Prudence is said to be the better part of valour — 

•' He tint fights and runs away, 
May live " 

The " mav live" of that drv distich stuck in my throat. 
If I had found it a difficult task to w alk across that 
quaking bog in sober sadness, how nuich more diffi- 
cult and impracticable to run for my life, pursued by 
a blood-thirsty crowd of regular bog-trotters and cur 
dogs! I loathed the thought. 

*' My good people,' said I, "you think I am an 
enemy ; if I w iis, wcjuld 1 trust myself alone amongst 
you? I don't understand Irish, ])ut if you can read 
English, take this paper, and satisfy yourselves as to 
my intentions." 

" Well, there's some sense in that," said the red- 
haired swain, but his movement in mv fiwour was 
quickly overruled by his wife. 

" Don't touch his paper I"' she screamed. 

Matters now looked as bad as ever; I threw a fur- 
tive glance on the bog to sec if my retreat was still 
open, when a tall sickly-looking countryman, wrapped 
up in his big coat, entered the crowd. 

" What's the matter ?'' said he. 

* Give iioliee to quit. 

c3 



34 urK IV rum wmt. 

** Mu((( r < tt'>(i;;h. ' rnt<l a <ii>/« ti (jf voices; ** bef^*t 

•' Ni», In .H« n » , iu*| 

jfou hi'MT him i>av be %« i in Minrc lu a luiimlr 

at M lilt ihr ptprr.* Mud ihr lall fivmer. 

I lumtlfd him ibe rrnt-roll aiid aliecl of |i«rticukiB ; 
be ^'lAiirrd ovrr it, and ihrn took off hii bill. 

**1 9fk your honour's pa' ' aid ? t ne 

newt t€€ m mmt\ in thi«|virt vriih a |M|K*r in hi> haiid*, 
but we Mjp NJiTow long cDougb after it." 

lit* now rx|»hiiii(*d to iht* p(H>|>lf that I wa» a real 
^ :iic ddwn to bu^- Killmoraii oat-aod-out 

entirely. On hearing this, mattera elearetl up imme- 
dialely ; the vrmiiaii who had been lotMie^t in lier 
•bate aUnk away, han^tig down her head, and de- 
chuing the bad niinrd her nuu\ < 
her. and in^i^tfd n|M9n ber rd.ill 
hidiiig-pliut* in the Ixig ; and (i 
them niul tht ir dcmofiaCmtionji a» a < 
dence W4i> rotnrctl, aiitl I had many h 
for pardon, ami pre«ung inyitationa to t-nlir their 
cabins and take an air of iIh* lire. I now re«|ueitlH 
tbc tall fanner, wIkim* name wv Jem l>ill«m, to walk 
over the la- ' NMth iti' •! |Miiiil tmf how the 

marvbct. tbe n)>Uiul», ami r dividefl 

and Ml i itiiii '>iiiall li' ir!». On 

erotiuig ^» «i"l tlo ' •!» give 

me a biiUirr of llir nalun- tif ti iig. aiKl the 

IT Minn of the diviiiiuii of atrtv, lutitU, aiid |iefrbra, 
•• T? *T • '^«»m out and rxliaiwlc*!; il wants 

l. I !>.. *'hul we htt\r im liinr to give il 

n I ; il tl waMi I lor the Ik iI. wanuod ^ilh u Irille 

of iii.u A, iM' tuuMn'i raise oat iigh to 



I f ' 


d 


1 •' 


' ifrd 




, Mti- 



LIFE IN TUE WEST. 35 

feed a goose, upon the whole of Kilhiioran." I now 
looked upon the bottoms and vast extent of bog. 

" It's a grand place for snipe-shooting and duck- 
shooting, in winter," said Dillon. 

" But it might be drained and improved," said I. 

" Ay, if there was fall enough for the water," said 
Dillon ; " but it would take a power of money to open 
a canal through that bog all the way down to the 
river ; and, after all, may be it would be of no service 
to the bottoms here ; they would be good for nothing 
if they were dry in summer, and the grazing cattle is 
all we depend on for the rent." 

" Why don't you plant a few trees," said I, looking 
round in vain for a sheltering bush. 

" Much encouragement we have to plant trees," 
said Dillon ; " threatened with ejectments every day, 
why should wc improve the appearance of the land, to 
have the rent raised higher and higher every day ?" 

"But if you had a lease, I suppose you would im- 
prove the place ?" said I. 

" Lease, indeed !" said Dillon — " lease ! — how are 
you ? When I had a lease, I didn't keep it." 

" Why not keep it ?" said I. 

" Because 1 was a fool," said he, shattering his 
stick upon a fragment of rock that lay before us ; 
" but it's useless to talk about it now." 

I begged to know how he lost his lease, and he re- 
plied, with a little hesitation — 

" I wouldn't like to say anything that might pre- 
vent your honour from having any dealings with 
the man that wants to sell this place, for it's myself 
would be proud to sec our landlord walking simply 
through his tenants, like yourself; but there's no 
hiding it — our landlord is no gentleman ; a few years 



56 u^m in T«i wvt. 

■go there %rat a grrai « !i in tbb coit md a 

coqieiC ; yen Kr*n\ ^ rocirvr. Wrli, fir, 

bHbrr tht tl ilic Imflonl hknm if. 

•od il wan ilir fintt atid Uhi lime iliai rtrr br cUrirti' <) 
mjr duiK " l*hil DiUoii." .^ml lir, •* rou niit»t fry 

••Aim! %»rK"ou I \*li" 11 t;ci n 

mr I ^'' I, Mf, I . i lu nirti I 

«Liv, at ti.< ( Murt I »o cImI M't^riooc and 

I'hil (*• . fur wr wrrr the uciU iti« m lii it IumI 

IcAM** on llir UmU : wc «<*nl inlu the (Vnirt-liutur, 
and ilirrr %»c lul clirt*k-l>)-j4>u| with il»c iMirrislcr und 
llic maguitrntm ii|ton the bench ; ami wlien tlie mavtcr 
i^ >» ,x^ lie U|>|ietl All attumej cm tlie beatl, and fcnt 
luui iffcr to \*hrrr we %irrr Mllinf*, nr«r the dock, 
'liaiid t>ver vonr leaaca»' aaitl iIm* and, hlr 

\ OA %%c* wert\ we baiiiieti them tct hi 
we wailcii iun;;; • ^h to U* • I on to n-^f>trr. hui 

not a f«< (1 %ic* hear alimit il : aimI that • :ig we 

jti^l IumI time lu My a wonl to ( iMltofd a» be wa^k 

'trpttifif ttilii tin* niail T wr nskrcl fnm tn rrttim ntir 



I* •».■* .-», 



*' * l)illuti, &tt^A he, ' thpfr*B ail iiitiiiiii«utl\ mitl ille- 
piliijr alioiit tlHMc inatruii that mint lie looked 

into and r« V(mi m <-. though he Pet up for a 

(;(-iill> . Ik* wasn't lO^ a dr\'p too i 

Wttft no h* t tl, and lliat in I 

t he WAM talking d l»al- 

^M* ht l|i(*tl him into tlie ixKMh and llial waa 

'f hi I pot of him; for aAer tliat Ik* %renl off 

I J 1 J.UI1V, and left - -* .t.:..., j„ |j^ } x. rf ^ 

Mrc'hnn *. ami the taxi iiui dftV we a kih i ^ :in \ lu 



til a nui. • l» *•!< 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 37 

lowney's life is not worth a rush ;' ' nor Judy Mac- 
Quadcs,' says my hrother ; ' nor my own,' says Phil 
Connor ; and we rehearsed the lives in our leases." 

" ' Well, be quiet,' says Corney, in a soothing voice, 
^ and 111 do my endeavour to get 3'our leases back 
again, if they are not lost ;' so we paid the rent, and 
the next rent day it was the same stor}', and then we 
went to father O'Brien, and told him our story. 

" ' \\ hy did not you come to me at first ?' says he, 
very sharj) ; ' no, you promised, you volunteered, to 
vote against your country and conscience ; so go be 
hanged, and I hope youll never get what you're look- 
ing for, and you'll be examples in the country.' 

" ' The last attempt we made was to hire an at- 
torney : we clubbed better than ten pounds, and went 
to consult a very good head-piece in the town, 
Attorney ►Skrewle. lie asked us if our leases were 
registered in Dublin ; and wben we said not, he began 
to whistle; so he put the money in his })ocket — ' And 
rU not lose sight of you, my gt)od fellows,' said he, as 
he Ijangcd the door in our faces ; and from that to 
this, everything has been going to the bad in Kill- 
moran ; we have no heart to make up even a gap in a 
stone wall ; when we were served with ejectments we 
sub-letted and divided our farms as you see, because 
the agents find it harder to turn out whole villages 
than they did formerly with the sodgrrs at their 
backs." 

We now entered Phil Dillon's l:)a\vn — a large farm- 
houfcc, in the last stage of dilapidation — a large dung- 
hill before the door, and a })ool of stagnant water. 

" Why don't you remove that abomination, and let 
off the stagnant water ?" said I — " it's enough to breed 
fever and pestilence in your family." 



un ly TUK warr. 

" Vou know liuW «buui fanmofK in ihrar pan»,** 
ci r i. ** or you woukl n<»i »4v ibal* Mr." 
I \\m\ r cnougli of lUu \ ic-tl )»U< 

and ha\ifu' I tkiii Ml air of ihr firr, und \. 
Willi my . ^uiilf, I wii»hc(l him m bellrr \.^ 

and rrMiiiinl my «ral u|ion ibr car, which the jan^^v 
had had ihr |»rudcnoe lo krr|> upon llic main ixncJ 
till I rviumcd, not hking, aa he nid, lo haxard 
ing up ihnmgh the Ixirreo* which wan the f 
all the liad old Ixvceot ui the ctniiilry ; aod ti. 
t luUd my firtti hunt after an lri>h caUic'' 



LIFE IN TUE WEST. 39 



CHAPTER III. 

Whist parlies — Smokers — Italian Counts and stokers — Mexicans — 
Virginian — Cockney — German professor — Here-we.go — Qua- 
ker's mishap. 

The French, Germans, and Italians, soon make up 
whist parties, the shattered chessmen are ranged in 
battle array by others, and the tables re-echo with the 
racket of backgammon ; meantime, the motion of the 
engines is barely perceptible, the lamps swing lightly, 
and our royal vessel walks down the star-lit channel 
like a phantom-ship. 

Supper, sir. Cold beeti broiled Ijones, a night-cap, 
and then turn in at half-past ten, amidst the perfume 
of extinguished lamps and candles. Breakfast at 
half-past eight; sea not (juite so smooth; wind a-beam; 
the passengers say they have got their sea legs on, and 
keep marching uj) and down the decks as if for a 
wager, the majority puffing cigars. I can smoke a 
cigarrito or meerschaum against any don or Dutchman 
ashore, but deliver mc from the vapid odour of half- 
smoked cigars at sea — bilge water and burnt cabbage 
are preferable to it. 

The great business of the day seems to be eating 
and thinking, and the quick succession of meals — 



40 un w me wtmr. 

'•icon, (liniK-r, lea, anil -tiji-tr L« < • 
the hUoii III » ' r; aom (tii( 

to iuhI fru, simI ? ') tm-iiiii^ full iii( 

«iilh a «rm^h in llie if trml lo srnc »• 

TonK-kitiii |»ifiii^rr'. Vij>it iIh* miniir-ffooai wi(h 
two lulian ctitii.. . Iio arc fillctl with amainnml at 
the ^iind MTiilc nf ilir ni.-u*liinrnr, «imI the I- •*• ■•••* 
i»ri I frumr iluU »u|»|»»»rl^ il : ihc M«»kii- .nv 

m^n- lo Ix* iMiicil than p " 'n niv humble 

CMY xtM-tl In iiit tl ; in c-««r of 

llicv arc Min- lo An %»r loolnl »l«mii n|H>n 

llir>c turn, ojvirtti willi ^w^•al and ctialMln-*!, one of 
llir Ilaliall^ oWivitl llial llir niram-M • i"lM mm 

would not cikIiiit micIi Mrvcrc work l«-i ai\\ ih'Ihv — 
aanic tinic ilru|»|»ctl wmc hilvcr inio the cap of oiie tif 
the f' ' . « linonamano ; iIk- cn^inn* aic Mikl In \^ 
not ♦•ulht unllv iMiwriful f«>r llir %c>m'I, ami ihc next 
Irip llnvarc to \tv lakcii oul nnd rrplicttl wilh riplil 
hiiiidrnl i tir h* -< |»»i«rr. 

The I K- rill luxl lo mine U oi <l l»v a i 

Sp«ni«ird or Mexican, %«lio, with his uncle ami aunt 
aivl •• <pl<iidi<l lilllf ftlluw. !o||«m<tl about the iletk 
b) a r»^artli} Mucliiirha, in the coj»lnnie of ilie AMunas 
are «piitc a Micietv in lh<mnelvr' With this joiith I 

inlancf, i»n |HiqK*e lo r^ " 

vince him «•! the I I ihr -v hi» vnhni.u 

timr pi that ^ ^ i»r l» ^ '« 

H, 1 . >. 'lit I l!. I'l • imI)) » 

to Irnrli him V » thnMi;;h the mrtliiim of an »»ld 

SiMit. .. ■ "* ' I*.. .» vi«*'a^*«dan. 'Hie roiinj: Ii.i 
coinil aaw-i uu- in ihii* p* »Hcni|H lo beguile llie 

Mcjucau from bii mtltinK lu^-^^i : wc have Miccecdetl, 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 41 

and now the happy pair are inseparable, and, neither 
of them understanding French enough to hold con- 
versation, they follow each other about apropos to 
nothing, bleating " Mexicanito, Italianito — Mexi- 
canito, Italianito." 

" I say it is impossible to know the EngMsh," said a 
heavy Virginian gentleman, looking sternly round 
him, after dinner; "I have been four months in 
England with mv son — avc went to Enu;land to see 
the old country, and become acquainted there ; but, 
I solemnly declare, we left it without making a single 
friend or common bowing accpiaintance." 

" Indeed ! how very odd," replied a hungry-looking 
cockney, who had lent his ear to the Virginian's 
complaints. 

" 1 do not think I am at all singular, sir," said the 
Virginian, haughtily. " I had a letter of intro- 
duction to a banker ; well, sir, he never look any 
notice of me. I miiiht have been introdnced at court 
bv our minister, but I declined the honour. * No,' said 
I, ' 1 am determined to make my own way.' We 
lodo-ed at the London Coffee-house, then moved to 
the West End — to the Ilunnnums." 

" I hope, sir, you don't mean to say the llummums 
is in the West End," said the cockney. 

" It is in Westminster, is it not?" said the Virginian. 
" We dined in the same room with country genllemen 
and citizens, and never received the least notice, or 
were treated with the least attention." 

" Probably they thought you were English yourself, 
sir," said the cocknev, with a leer. 

" No, sir, I made it a rule to converse with my 
son about our native land, and the people of the house 
knew all about us; and when we went down to 



42 urs f» TMB wear. 

CMlroluuii «r W9tt uoUird in : -fOWlL 

•od r i)uui erer Ihmi ibr bofocn of \ 

■UllCIT* 

llrrr • difWcUlookifif Scot Iitt^mI to mnAi4;. ihtf 

willxMil |iroprr lcltrr» cif inlnxl;.. ;. a frocn U 

frirtMlik, it was impiwMMr fi»r • itraiiifT r tn i^ri into 
privair aoctety aiivwlM-rr ; fur lib uwii |u«i! lie had 
hern like « fUb < • cr King civ .j I ». in Nrw 

union ; an<l lh<Mtgli, as ni r lo .^ 

rmtr liuiiM*, he h.ul plnitv r 

air or drank mtc at hi<« unn c . >(hI at a public 

lal>lc, veC in Anicnra. 

** Bill yon nrvrr viiitcd Virjpnia, tin 'Ul iii>inininHt* 
•aid the Virginian. 

The Scoi n ■ 'in the ncgalive, Imi a werr- 
lo(»kiii;: ^•crmaii, who had lii' • hrUl hift |>eare, 

■ai«i \\v h.ifl fra\ ihnHi^h \ ir^eiiiia, ami hail |kajil 

•«av (>vrrvuh{*rr hr %irnt in luinl tlollam ; he 
\\m\ Itrrn to (lie rr«l, «ihiie. ffrrrfi. and hhir mi1- 
phiir itprin^is anil Ijclirvcii tLi Viq^iniaiui »|i«'nt 
more money I he re llian ihe Knfrli»h did at C^heltrff- 
hani, or tlic (irnnuiin al Hadcn Hadcn or Ucu 

•• TIk rr i» a %» lilr «iiit ; .r bi'twrrn the in ti 

and ' III •>! >m1 the Vn 

what \- I •* III the north thr\ \>^ f 

man to \ till thry And hr i« a icvnileman; 

in the iMMith they helievc every man to lie afr<*nfleman 
till il- V r....l .»,,! lie i» a nwindler. 

'Mil II wsi^ A laugh raitetl at ihr iiviuhiBUHi ul Hit* 
uUe-lalk. whieh profokad thr (ierman; abi " - up 
a h<Mik, mill. ' f iii|iImm> lie li«*|yr<l the \ n \\\ 

lo repeal hii wonk, as be did noi i uiid« 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 43 

him. The Virginian good-humouredly complied, 
whereupon the German said the word "swindler" did 
not apply to him ; he was well-known in both worlds, 

as an author and professor of , and, rising 

from the table, this learned mufti withdrew in high 
dudgeon. 

This morning the sea is reported to be getting up, 
before breakflist the weather is pronounced dirty, and 
the wind, which for the last three days has been most 
favourable, now chops round right in our teeth. The 
captain, mates, and the rest of the men-of-war's men, 
look out for squalls, and return short and gruff answers 
to the querulous ])leatings of the passengers, who are 
fain to satisfy their curiosity with the card suspended 
over the mate's cabin door, from which the latitude, 
longitude, and the number of miles our good ship has 
steamed, is soon ascertained. First day we steamed 
156 miles; second, 210; third, 220; fourth, 170; 
fifth, only 40 miles; sixth, the card is blown over- 
board, and observations are out of the question. The 
creaking, straining, and groaning noises in the saloon, 
and the crashing of ]ilates and glasses in the steward's 
department, do not at all enliven the long faces re- 
flected in the mirrors on every side ; even our trum- 
peter seems to be out of sorts and out of tune, jum- 
bling ".liiu Crow" and " Auld lang syne" together. 
The dinner was ushered in with a variety of capsizes, 
soup spilled, legs of nmtton and rounds of beef broke 
loose, sucking ])igs attempting to escape from table 
to table, from chair to sofa. The German professor, 
who, since his set-to with the Virginian, spent more 
time at his toilet, and looked as starched and 
stiff in his white cravat and black silk waistcoat 
as a lobster on his first appearance, looked unut- 



44 urr "^ mt warr. 

terabl.- thiniM vbrti half « cA\f% brad tougbl rrfit«^ 
io h)- K^t. .:.... f.: wAMlnMl and fnll i^ 



morr r ami bfAiiu tiian tbr iMffBed mufti bar- 

•• W||^ i«ill \uM t III • • ytf^ lirforr 

tli r, at llic «iaiirr rr- 

i l«» tft! rul c>f li\ I iMi ihr I 

iIn* rrMill uf lliat pirnff fittK lirl|. ^ thr ii|*«cM 

of ilif. «• 'WAiitt J ;u, j..^ H* " 11 V !•• 

and ku im'lvirrn t«%u iU*lic«ir * ' ai ijit «n»:- 
McW. Thr MifT ami iiiM*«>tn|tr tiid oi : 

itn^ <|iiakcr, in llir iiihUi ul hJI li 

ri<»t, was o II< woiiM ikK IhimI hi» Uuk, I 

vcrilT U lirvc*, Io rvatlr the Mow uf a falling nuui. 
. \c»a IliiK li or nwcrvi* matlc fruin a Hviiig rauli- 
r, or warrlrl of mhi|>— the raaHt|iic-iMT unw, thai 
liiji liruw n rtml ainlclnibruiiliiuialioiui Uipii In rxliihil 
marit aimI loknw uflbc culinary wars wbicb lir borr 
as nirrkl^ ■» a ntartvr. Oii(*f or lwicr» iMiwr^rr, I 
caqgbl liiin rrotirliing in wiUl ahinn oimI \ ' ' 
Tlir fin»l linir it woh at «Iiiiiirr, mIm ii liiit rhmr 
lociM', ainl rarriitl ilic cpiakcr ivtio- kN-kward»«mi 
forwonlii from ink* Mtir of llic is.il<M>n Io llir oiIht. !)>• 
lliinl liuM* il wan nrrun^l l»v Iwo wailrrs aii«l I ! 

bv llic Icf; III il labl«\ ami our fririNl txNilinurtl in 
iliniN*r, uiurr frigblriictl iboii burl. 'Jit* *"-M lime I 
law liim Mir|inM^l inio rxrlanuiliooi» «>ii uttk, wlirii 
iIm- \ciim<1 rollttl from nidr Io i»i<lr like a U-rr liarrrl, 
oial ('%rr\ one «hi dirk «i i to lav Ih>I«1 ihi i 

. or l)> and noi a fiw ilin*w liirni- 

II on llinr li aii«l kiirt^ik; ImiI llir iin- 

. A WA (•• mil : ami a«»a% tir 

frrtif. full filt, aipunat flir Iniln.trl, and itmild li.itr 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 45 

toppled right into the yawning iib3'ss had not an old 
sailor caught him by his broad skirts ; after that escape 
our friend confined himself to the saloon. ^^ Here we 
go, and here we go !" those monstrous words are " ever 
ringing in my ear ;" the burden of the song of " Here 
we go" — the name by which we recognise a keen 
card player and nail-nibbling cockney, who, from the 
moment the gale began, swings from side to side with 
the rolling and pitching of the vessel, sometimes 
catching hold of the next person to him, no matter 
who, exclaiming — '^ Here we go!" and invariably 
dratTffino- him on, full <>allo]), from bulkhead to bulwark, 
post to pillar — even a pair of broken skins and a black 
eye did not steady him ; but once he had a narrow 
escape, even at the card table, which even the raging 
of the tempest could not clear, till the bench or sofa 
on which Here-we-go and three others were seated 
broke loose, with a tremendous lurch, and away they 
went — Here-we-go singing out, as he dragged the 
card-cloth, counters, money, and tricks, along with 
him — the partners rushed to relieve then' friends in 
need, and met the anxious bench returning full surge 
with its cargo and passengers : down they went, sofa, 
chairs, and the card table, gamesters, cards, counters, 
and cash, and, like a living billow, dashed backwards 
and forwards upon the snu)oth oilcloth, till half the 
waiters and several passengers picked them asunder. 
Poor Here-we-go was a severe sufferer in that rolling 
match — next day he was stiff as a crutch, and covered 
with sticking plaster. 

In the midst of all this turmoil I find the old set, 
the knot of odd lellows rallying round that inveterate 
land-louper, the gentleman in search of an estate — 
their mirth is less boisterous than it was a few evenings 



46 uwm Of nrc 

■00^ fhej bold tbeir gliTi with bocK iMiidi* tnd 
lean upuci llirir rlbutr* with luukt of inlentr • ^' 
ibt-y Mtm lu irpml ibr |rrrm firldf and wtki i. 
with the ifcniliBMn io •rarth ufaii MUle, M br 
ill bit bom-drum wbv mhI itotio tocc lone 
adTctiturr. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 47 



CHAPTER IV. 



Adventures of a gentleman in search of an estate — Tipperary pro- 
perty — Absentee tenant — White-boys — Attack on the house— 
Fly-boat — Passengers — Rough diamond. 

"The next estate! visited was situated in the wilds of 
the far-famed eounty Tipperary. I hael been invited 
to look at it by its absentee landlord, who was anxious 
to dispose of it for the ostensible purpose of concen- 
trating his possessions in another part of the kingdom, 
where, he said, " the bulk of his j)roperty lay. You 
will find Altadugh a most desirable thing, in the midst 
of the fine sporting county, Tipperary." 

" Where the ' finest peasantry'* knock down land- 
lords, parsons, and agents, en passant,'"' I obsened. 

" O, my good sir, that's all passt — threadbare sub- 
ject — old song — newspaper malevolence," retorted the 
absentee, very briskly ; " outrages, accidents, and 
offences occur everywhere, at home and abroad ; then, 
sir, look at the size of Tipperary, and its contiguity to 
Cork and Limerick !*' 

In short, the absentee said so much in favour of the 
count}^ he wished to cut for ever, that my curiosity 
was excited, and, even without the faint prospect of 
finding a home in the wilds, I resolved to visit Tippe- 
rary. 



48 utr iH rtie 

I had flcpc at i)u -itiiil (••^Ml uf , about irn 

mile* from Ali«i!it-'fi • !irt.«l .. (km. aimI 

•rrivrti in ■* — ^ ^ niMHlrr llir |»rrnii' * I 

likrtl iIk* a|i|ii^aiiiv iji .\.i.» ' ■ *** " |«- '■ • 
fim nglit. tli«' fUrr ■ rrmr t l tmuu ljir)$ri titoii u noii^ 
wm: rliiiii{M (if irrrti ami 'V'V "P 

nMiutl ihf vrnUiil U«n aiul -m1 nt«Mi wliith 

l\w htKiM- Muml, an l**iig- 

rouftti UiiUlin^, «'iili li a ^ y uf 

iiamiw uiiMl«<M»; a |{n»i(>iM|u<* ami it. c* 

(lour-eair nrrnittl out uf kr«*|ini)( in tlii«» nitMlrni 
lurr, fur (l<Hil>llrf« it hail lM*rn Inkrn frucn mnim* vrnrr- 
aUe vralK wlirrr it IumI drfutl tlir tooth uf time, till 
the haninuT uf il it«l<*r uf Altadiigh IIuiim*, Iu-chI- 

icm of tin* •* fill • "I ihi' ' ri*<l it intuit* •. 

•rut *. 'II. njiil iluonK-ti itM ki \ \u luar a 

uulili* |Miir iif ntaft*« or rlkV liuni«, ii of ll»r Uau- 

QCfly ni »a uf . . r IohIa, wIk* may 

l i# vr Imhtu tliT nnliuilftoliU* tti.^i.:- ••! thr U«(l i )i. 

A nrat f^anlcn ami llu«rrr->knuC, cnrltMrtl liv a lirrch 
ami tlioni licnl^. nuKlit be too m*ar tlic Iiuum* to |4ra«r 
crvrrv «*nr ; Uit tlM*rr naa an air of c|uirtnrf» ami Mill 
lifr nlMHii thr plmt* that |>lca<(rtl UN* niurli. A laigr 
> lud il<n{ iMutkctl on tlif Imwul tlagt lirf<ifr 

llir hall <l<M»r. ami a |^ m4>lr (an 

to llir Mill. Tlw )(nilinj: x*l. T liiv » r*Httr*l 

ihtr fumicr: In* UUvt\ n|i liii» nunr from I. : :r-|iaw«, 
and. witlitMit ch'iKnii>(( i^ wlaml ii|i, rlialU iig«<<l tlir in* 
iriitU^n iifion llir |>rrniij«>i» ; l»ni hi« KmmI Unri mMifoon 
cluui|(rtl to a clulrful mliim*. wlirii a nlirill witrkn»aii'« 
lirll \mum to tfll.llii* fiMCork to M|iiall,aml lalMmrrn 
fttNii iIm' lann aiul yani at iIm lia«-k of iIm* hi»u«r ran 
boOM to ilirir «lii 1 i>' o (-aim" Mr. '1 ^ . • 

lialr. <> .'• ii(l< UMUy tnnicti tifty, 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 49 

dressed in shooting-jacket and cords. He had been 
stewarding his men. When he nnderstood the object 
of my visit, he poHtely volunteered to shew me the 
lands and boundaries himself. " I hold but a small 
part of the land in my own hands," said he, as we en- 
tered a large tillage-field. 

" I thought," said I, " you rented the whole of it." 

" And so I do," replied Truemore ; " but latterly I 
have sublet the greater part of it. There," said he, 
pointing to a cluster of cabins, " are some of my 
tenants' houses." 

" And how do they pay their rents ?" said I. 

"Punctually in labour," said he; "they perform 

all my farm-work, and the produce pays Mr, 's 

rents, and sometimes not even that." 

" You think the rent too high, I suppose ?" said I. 

" Certainly," he re})lied; " much too high now-a- 
days ; but the lease was taken out by my father durino- 
the war, when land and the produce were enormously 
high. After the war, prices came down at once ; we 
felt a sad change ; we were tied up and bound by our 
lease to pay a heavy rent. My father was a man of 
education and a gentleman ; we had to keep up ap- 
pearances and live like gentlemen, keep servants and 
horses, and pay for everything; but we had to sell 
our produce in the same market as our neiohbours, 
who were all small farmers, and could afford to under- 
sell us, because they lived like labourers, and ref'usino- 
to pay their high rents, got abatements from their 
landlords, while our rents were raised to the last 
fiirthing. During my father's life, we expended a 
great deal of money on this place ; we planted those 
trees, and built extensive offices, enclosed yards, and 
built sundry small additions to the dwelling-house; 



D 



no unt m mu 



iMt Mcvoor ImmvImv r\ : th« Itiidkml i»- 

Amm to rrnrw it. (jT fcraiil tu a n^w aor, emi upon 
Uw Mme bsfil irnnm 1 Iuitv «tblH fiavt of ilir UihI ; 
in fmtt^ I never wuuld hare door m>, had 1 llir imiaJletl 
ctuuice of liaving m \emm; but, m IrtMUil at will, 1 MB 
at the mrirj of mj landlofd, and have loat all tbongiHi 
of ill '.or nrrn krr|»in); up ' rmer 

meniA. i kn<iwlc<i|(r 1 am aiiiM-iirtl lo ihw place; 

Ix (' I K . liappieaC dav- of my Ir I 

canooC pu. • thr |>n*ficrty, hill 1 haxcuiadr trmpC* 

ing o8cn l' , 1 t«*r u im-w Ira^* ; I hate 

ofTcrrd him a caciiiidcnU>le fine (premium) aiui niito 
in advanrt*, all to no puqto-^- *rr differ in poliiio, 
and that i<» I he nccrvt " 

ll;i\tng walked over ili« limls ami apprmre<l of 
Mr. l*ni('itH>i it t iriiiiri;:. Uiti i)i< rxplana- 

tiofui he < d iMio ill %vr miini<M| to 

d' tf-houne. Ti inir <l me in \u% 

dau|{) ; the eldest, a lieautifiil Kirl, not m<irr than 
nineteen, recliiM*d upon a aoG^ aiul a|M>lofnte«l for not 
rifing. Poor girl ! ahe waa in the bat utage of eon* 
mmption ; the heetie roue upon her cheek, and I lie 
brillianej of iluaie chui, hlue ejca, ihade«l with the 
loQKMC ere-hadiea I ever naw, long alahaaler f 
luid I limw. all liore the atAinp of that iMidMNM 

and I rnfi rr*i flowir*,* 

*• * llilen," i.l I in a rhtrrful 

voiee, "you IwJk lielicr to-<lav Inm |>r. I)otr«tl 
Mr- v.»i| '.••••ht to keep up your -y,i,i- . ,m*w the «»...- 
tai m I'll (. and i>]trini{ come again, you mu«t get out in 
lb* air, and a little ehange of •- will Ix* c>f iervii « ** 
(Here the !, a light. Irft 

the HMMi t I 

''•Dd herpc« 1 hr. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 51 

to a tall, carelessly-dressed man, who lounged past the 
drawing-room windows, and entered the room. He 
neither spoke nor seemed to observe any one. " Jack !" 
said Truemore, with a loud voice, " why. Jack, don't 
you see Mr. Morleigh, come all the way from London 
to see us ?" 

Jack, who had seated himself, looked earaestlv at 
me, and repeated slowly, *' Mister Mor-leigh, come 
all — the way from Lon-don — Lon-don ?" 

He paused, then passed his hand over his brow, and 
repeated the same words twice over again. There 
was an anxious and eager expression about his hazel 
eyes for a second ; he became silent, and looked at 
me with a vacant stare. 

"Poor fellowM" said Tnicmorc, "he has been in 
London too , but that was before his head was injured; 
indeed we all wondered how he survived." 

" An accident, I suppose," said I to Truemore, who 
glanced at his daughter, and changed the subject; he 
spoke of stock, the prices of farm- produce, farming, 
and politics, then apologized for leaving me, while he 
went to give some directions to his out-door labourers; 
and the moment he left the room, John took his place 
close by the sofa, took his niece's hand, and looked at 
me w^ith a sorrowful countenance. 

" My father cannot bear to speak of his misfortunes 
before me now%" said Helen, addressing herself to me, 
" and my poor uncle cannot speak for himself O, sir, 
if you had known him a few years ago, full of life and 
hope, you w^ould feel the sad change as much as we 
do, I'm sure. Some years since, my uncle went to 
London to speak to our landlord about renewing the 
lease of this place ; he received much attention from 
him, and indeed the landlord seemed to take an interest 

d2 



S9 Mil i ■ 

in |MMir John; Im* ^^'i** .inniMtl Itv hU :<•■ :iiicl 

rmllrtl him Iih (Jii^ui.-tJ ii iiaiii. We crrtAiiilv thmiglit 
b« «u«iU have suctxctlrtl about llir Itam*. Wlirii 
John ramr Inrk lir kr|i| us alivr, trlliiif^ ut all about 
Loodao; Imt aftrr all wc rould grt no MHirfilnry 
rrplv from the Uiidlunl. nnd Julin look • fivn alxHil 
five milm from ihU. lie livcnl with ua ■• imial. ainl 
rodr to hiit farui r%-rn* •: i»iit our dav hr waa wnv- 

laid hv xoinr \illniiit; tin v lintl al liim, notiadrd 
him ill thf aim, aiid iluii Uni him oo the h«Hl: hi^ 
»kuU was frartiirrd ; thry \v(i him for drad, but he 
rrcorrrwl, after a Iting illneat, ami lias ever «ncr l>ecu 
juat as you arc him/* 

•• And wvw lh«- luiM-nanf'' |Him>hrd.' saui I 

•• NevfT." riplit tl lli-lfii; " ihrnij^h srvcrnl j- ; 
fprrr %i 'ill till* firltU near thr >|m»i, and heard 

the tholii, mid inii'l havcMH'ii tlie asHav«iii<i, thcv n< 
iiitrrfrrrtl. \N »• offi-ntl n n>wanl, l»ui it w.^?* u^ h ss, 
Doonc wouhl come fonvnrti ; though tlie |iro|ilc UhhII^ 
condrmniMl ih<* art, Ktill I he itvHaii^in«i e^raiirtl." 

I wxs irrenllv Hhot^krd nt lhi<« muI tale, oimI \«hih- 1 
wan eipn«.^iii^ my indignation Mi. Tnin 
tumeil, mid a M-nanl aiiiiotinc^tl hin< )ir«in. Wi 
jonrned l<* the (tarioiir, Irnviiig the |HM»r iiix 
lh«-m'^«-lvr'*, 

** Voti niu^i iiiii think of IrftTinf^ ua to-dar,** mid 
Truem«>rr; " yciu bare imm arrn eii«»uKh t»r the |irt>- 
prriy yet. Vihi maj rtNint on a well-airt*tl ImhL" 

1 %ah\ I vrun iiiixi(Mi« to rrtiini to |)uhlin in %a4u. 
Tniemore |iiiin(r«l in ihi ' ^ii tin* K< 

M 11 and the diHiu;il l•r«•^« «•! ihr lK\d'« |iit ; 

and a« tl • i » ■> ^< aaii to fall, and Triw iiHir« x 
no BUUI «»ilh a riM.! hi« hr!»«l •^hoiiUI %rntiiri out. 

I aftfved to bemmr h ; Ahaduirh 

till next moiii...;,. 



It ; 

.i-i 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 53 

I spent the afternoon as agreeably as circamstances 
would permit, but a shade of melancholy stole over 
everything; the forced gaiety of my host, the fliint 
smiles of Helen, and even the Irish melodies Jane 
played on the instrument were melancholy. 

" I dare say you will recognise some old friends 
in this bookcase," said njy host ; " though we live in 
an out-of-the-way place, we have some resources ; 
and here," said he, opening a small cabinet, " if you 
are fond of antiquarian researches, you will soon dis- 
cover the value of these time-worn bits of metal ; 
this trayful of old coins was dug up from the to}) of 
the round hill you admired so nnich. I assure you it 
was no easy matter to prevail upon the workmen to dig 
the holes in which I planted the trees; and till 1 set 
them the example, and promised to bear all the harm 
and anger of the ijood people myself, they would not 
disturl) the soil. The coins bear the rude stamp and 
superscription of your Saxon kings, Edwy and Aihel- 
stan. My poor brother, who read a great deal, and 
indeed, collected the greater part of those antifpiitics, 
said the coins were concealed there by the Danes, 
after having i)lundcrcd the English coast. I am sure 
these thin , pieces of silver were not worth fighting 
for. I found this bronze cup with two handles about 
three feet under the coins. Doctor Dowal, who is a 
great antiquarian in his way, says it is a Druidical 
censer, and attempts to prove that it belonged to the 
priests of the Sun, from the little hill named Belbeg; 
Bel being the Irish for sun, and Beg little. Some 
miles from this, we find the hill of Belmore, or the 
Great Sun Hill ; we have often meditated an expe- 
dition to that hill, to seek for anticpiities by moon or 
torch lierht. The farmer on whose land it is situated 



54 upt t» Tuti m 



wt9 m mgW tod of llut Kfreo mould JhlM t wA be* 
emmt bit old nmmfaiinliii lold bia abr brani m 
fUmoKct maa crll m qurer starr about a «aiplr cuUcm* 
or giH. « lio wms mUtd for brmking a bnuirb fmcn • 
wbtir iborn trrr on tbc btU uAt, and aooa after dHsp- 
pcarr<l for 

** How raiM I I 

- Oh, ro/M br f I. .»r eomr T Mid Udra ; 

*« bill Jam- can Mng vuu a aong about it, ifibc likra." 
<IMM did not fM|uuv oioch prearaif^. Sbr mi down 
oncv rooM at the piaoo, aiid plarrd • wild and melan- 
cbol? Ihib air I liad ncrrr branl bc|br«, and 
km \tTwn of tbe ballad. 

lukr « C*H tnii !t ■«rrt 

Her mod VA» Attfit i . a ' 

** > omtkhmt katf, 

a; 





: Ul«r 


At 

1 


bf«fadi ( 

?Trw on • 






*« Slw fallevvd, tlM faUo«i««S, \U vilUftn «). 
Aao itctvv, nt^ttf rua# vacs ii|^ai ; 
W» taw— ily toaflM Imv far mmtj • 4«y. 
Aai «it mImI Imv, b«l calM laa la tam. 

** TWy aiy ilMt M «iil» lU cao4 fnw ylt ttfl, 

Aaa oa iiMrib ll>' -oca ftran 

TW yaaaf wiiiiMi Ivaff In* »tU Mt^ la iIh \M, 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 55 

When her " wood-notes wild" died away, I would 
have cried " encore !" As it was, I was not sparing 
in my plaudits ; while Jane, blushing at my bravas, 
merely said she had not done justice to the words ; 

they had been composed and set to music by ; 

and here my inquiries made the poor girl blush, and 
her sister smile, seeing that she had a reason for con- 
cealing the author's name. We turned once more to 
the cabinet. My host shewed me a coin his bro- 
ther had found near a round tower. He said it was 
Phoenician or Egyptian, from certain hieroglyphics 
on it. I had seen some Egyptian coins in the museum 
of the Vatican, and gratified my host not a little by 
confirming his opinion as far as the faint resemblance 
those grotesque characters bore to others I had seen 
in the Eternal City. We glanced over a variety of 
spear and arrow heads found at sundry times in divers 
parts of the country, by John. One old weapon 
arrested my attention ; my host informed me it was 
a middoge, or an ancient dagger worn by the Irish 
kings. " That hoop in your hand was found in a 
small lake by a boy who was looking for wild ducks' 
nests," said my host; " doubtless it was one of the 
collars worn by the Saxons and Danes. I am sorry 
it is not the collar of gold Moore sings about." 

" But you have a Hnk of that celebrated chain, 
papa," said Helen. 

" True, my love, and here it is. Mr. Morleigh. 
look at this link of gold, and fancy what a pretty for- 
tune a chain of such links, full a cloth yard long, 
would be for a country maiden. That link weighs 
four ounces, but the man who found the whole chain 
brought me this link, only to ascertain if it were gold. 
I bought it from him by weight. He went to Dublin, 



56 1. . ras wvr. 

and aoU the rm i< imrtl in ii.< 

rounin, look a Ug^ ! ' it. and kom bttiig 

a vcnr fwior bhottivr l«*cai: . . *liliv fitfmer; hoi 
a doml, ilirir hjtiir^ ««%rr the moor j-finclrr, atid 

«iiiAl «t»mc» «.*mI> j;ui^ to-'-iK. Wc arc Mill ^upcf- 
•lilkiuft ill this coiitilnr. 'Hir rKain-riiHlrr lircainc an 
I — lout 1 ' , hii» fann, and lia» fr- 

I a day » work aa a « ••tuition laboan r. 
\\v \\ iic-il out llir placr %*Ih rr lie IuuimI 

the ciMiii li» thr («iiiiilrv |woplr ; ain) f«*r «m»«v ll»« ' 
loTc ufiiiotirv hitH triiiiiipliMl over l) , 

frarK Parties «f irrjiMirv-MH'krrK lm%r ffitim-iiilv 
burnnrrtl ami dt*-* ' «l€€|ier ami «l(-r|icr ^ill* into tia 
Doon morr, or vr. with little mcccas 1 ma- 

pert; at leant. I : wt im \i-r litanl anv fiiTourable rr- 
.11x1 iIk* |t(-o|>lt> an* M-ldom siloiit wIhii iIk \ 
.If Till : imlrftl. if a man lal^ n a tuU\ 

tiinirti lip A htniv • iiiiv» a rr|iort \«(hiI<1 hmiu f^rt 

wind th«i( lie liad made lii^ fortune, ainl iiii^ht im\« i 
hajKilc m apadc again. ltid(*nl, 1 uiht licanl a fxior 
man taken to task very i^liaqtly Uy ibe land agent 
fur not drlivrriii^ up a maN» of virpn Kilver be wa* 
taid to have diM'uveretl while making n ditch; bow- 
('\rr, the mutlc-r wan dro|«fH-<l wlu-n it waa found tu lie 
a lump of Irad which hail < M-a|i(nl from a tinkt t 
hmlget, or forge, which had iM-fii nt full work on tlu- 
t*rrmiM*fi a few veam I tun* 1 am fpcakiiif* 

.liMHit (**ii^rrr'% I iifirr- !ini | .m uc.irvintf Vcm Mr 
M(»rU i^d. 

1 prolentcd nut, ami uiv 1 • < ( (inttnitetl. 

** 1 oiire met a rounlrv li ii<>w naiintrnng tnward> 
a hloi <* lo gel ah or ha^p f<>r his 

ul m| a Iwinlrd Inir of 
dm :id in a Im^;. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. Oi 



(( ( 



5? 



I found it,' said he, ' a year ago, and pitched it 
under the dresser along with some sticks and rubbish, 
and this being an idle day with me, I thought I'd sUp 
up to the forge, and hear the news, and get the handle 
made. I would rather have iron to be sure, but the 
times are bad — I'm not able to buy the length of my 
hand of ribbon-iron.' 

" I now took the bar in my hand," >^aid my host, 
" and was convinced it was heavier than brass. 

" * Barney,' said I, ' this wont do for a handle for 
your cowhouse door.' 

" * I thought as much myself,' said he. 

" But if you really want a handle for it, I have an old 
one at home, and I'll give it to you for this, and welcome. 

*' You were always a good warrant to help a man in 
distress," said he. 

" And now, Mr. Morleigh, Jane nuist finish the 
story ; you must excuse me ; I see the rain continues, 
and I nuist send the workmen home." 

Jane resumed the story. " IMy father soon dis- 
covered the value of the bar — it was pure gold; he 
brought it to Dublin, and sold it for thirtv ";uineas — 
no great sum, but (piite sufficient to make the finder 
happy, for Barney had aspired to the hand of a rich 
farmer's daughter; her father would not consent to 
the match — he objected to Barney merely on the 
score of his poverty ; but the thirty guineas which my 
father handed to the rejected suitor acted like a charm. 
The farmer was no longer inexorable ; in short, they 
were married, and live very liaj)i)ily not far from this. 
My father thinks it was fortunate he met Barney 
before he entered the forge, from which it might never 
have been restored to Barney, or even served to fasten 
his cowliousc-door." 

d3 



And tiiu- tiii ui'.i i:t— I. .k >- ,'«i.', .."" .4 ..« «'iih, 
tlio^gb at tin4 a wufie ^^ <i «it iii! 

vilbio (iooTK We Ml down t4> a pUin but « • 
dinofir. I mj kv, bcauiM I U It m one uf tlic >% 

■littKlj qtiiie at boiDft. Uuclc John aai ai t: 
and carved awaj at a lag of mutioo vitb jua 
gFavitv : he nrtired with the giri* •hortl? a^r ibe 
desert, hij hoM touched hi* licad tignilkaiaJv. 

*' lie cannot bear wine now," «ud \ tinu- Mii^ 

wbrn he could take hi* twd bottlet, aiiU Mi*g hw ^^Mig. 
with the nurrinit and the beat of ua.** 

We now <lre» our rhaim to the fire. pUced a table 
between ut, filled our glaaet, and m t the wiiid, raiiu 
cue, and aorrow, at defiance. 

" iiluw winds and crack jour eheeka," nid mv 
host, as the windows rattled and tlie ^toml howled 
round the old botiae. 

I hke a good turf fire — I pretcr it to coal; nerer- 
thi lt^% turf and fuel, general I \ >|teiiking, were scarce 
iu tliat |iart of the co«intr\. M\ h«v»( informed me 
that tome of his tenaj)L» dtitft n-d mucli duruig tiie 
winter, when they had not laid in a suAcient Mock of 
hand-turf during tlie Mimuier. He explained the 
difiercnce between liand-turf and cut-turf— tlie former 
being bj far the most troubkMome and expensive, made 
up like tiricks in deep marslij bcig^ the Utter 

is cut with M »laiic, or aharp-cdgrd 
used in tlu* is a* aimi»t funi 

** Vou saw the pike, iu the ncit i> ^ said my 
heat. 

" It is certainly a daogefoui uea|xiu/* Mutl 1 ; " Imt 
1 hope the |iike is ool? pfrsrr%cd as an object of 
Qttrioiilir in this ttmniry now.** 

My \mM MMiitd mo aiich was tlic caic The 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 59 

pike," he said, " was found to be a most inconvenient 
weapon ; even during the rebellion, the pikes encum- 
bered the rebels more than anything else. No ;" said 
he, " the gun, pistol, and blunderbuss are the weapons 
most eagerly sought after by the evil-minded now-a- 
days." 

I was naturally anxious to learn something genuine 
about the present state of the country ; but my host 
evaded my queries, and attempted to turn the conver- 
sation. Baffled in my endeavours for the present, I 
glanced at the past, and found my host was much more 
willino; to *' look back throu";h the vista of time," at 
some startling scenes which had flashed before his 
eyes in Tipperary. 

" You have already heard the particulars of my 
brother's misfortunes from Helen," said he. " Shortly 
after that vile attempt to assassinate as honest and 
true-hearted a man as breathes the breath of life, this 
country was very much disturbed; large bodies of 
armed men traversed the country, day and night, 
searching for arms, breaking into gentlemen's houses, 
with various success. Hitherto I had escaped— my 
house had been respected ; I had not meddled with 
politics, or taken new farms; in short, I had given 
those agrarian legislators no fair pretext for attacking 
me. Nevertheless, I deemed it necessary to be pre- 
pared for the worst, and declared my intention to 
keep my fire-arms, perhaps a little too openly. Every 
night we barricaded the house, and prepared for a 
regular siege ; and it is to this night- watching, and 
the perpetual state of alarm and anxiety in which we 
lived, I attributed the low, nervous fever which 
attacked my poor wife at this i)criod. She had a 
strong presentiment that she would not be long with 



00 LOTB w rue wnr. 

ui ; and brr ti micnmi $ar hrr and lavr for 

lilt iiHtraMHl (UiU. \\ il tu miM- bcr 

ipiriu in V41II . hrr ihuii^lit* mvrr nit •<rn'Xfc». 'Flic 
phrnciani decUrrtl ihat a ( ^ .. . 1 fir a air 

III '»if rr»torr \%^^ *»•*» f urf^rtl h* ' •■» follow ihrir 
M.;^..i in rain 

• Hf-rr wt have luviti, aiui herr wc hare pajiarU 
II • p» »»f <Mir I hr wmiltl mv, point- 

ing lu utir iittif* ianii an<' it is a »wcrl i^pot, 

ajwl hrrr let us |Mri in |iraif.* I roiiiti not 
with hrr wlini Ah v|w»kc in lhii» wav — lOjr hrart 

^ loo full. 'Hit* tliwit soon inade fearlbl n- 
Tagrt; kIk* hccamc too weak to leave lirr rooni, and 
at la^t iHMikl not hvar nie from lirr f»ipht. Slic alwajr* 
•aid I should be at tack n I a^ ni v |Mxir bfticlier waa— but 

1 wcarv roil, inr,** aaid itiv h<l^l. |tatuiiii|i(. 

I In*)^**' ^*i"* (•M-oiitiiiiir, aiui (Il 1 I y^L" '• 

1 tcil, ami Ulk-il inv ^Ia^, i»hilc iii)* boal ifmuied 

in a hnncT tone. 

•• f )nc lieauiitul rlmicilc-sn tlay,- mid he, •• the hirdf 
Miig in the trres aiul ilir lalMHirrm MUig in the fteldis 
and • ' ' rything lookctl liri^ht and happv ; even my 
|«MH \mU', who had not hh-|>( forneyeral nighUi ntiiled 
a* nhc Hank into a aweel hhT|». I \rfi mv i1 ' 'cr 
licftith hrr, tohl niv t r lo remain in the )i 

whilf I ran into the fp r ni\ lnU>i 

I '• l« • in hrart ; .■ , . );.i I ^^_ m h im« 

^ytuv ; I hi V Nuil, if hlir oMild alecfv ahr ntv^hf 

nto\«r. I croMK*«l a tillap^firld in which mvi.— 

worinirn weie i!'- •• •••r v tncpiirrtl aAer the mi»- 

irr^j»'n liralth in Ihi ir iimuu wonn-hcarlrd way. h<»|»ini; 
*iir would aooii br able to walk «kiI «iith mr. 1 ^ta^^(l 
wiih t!:i tn .1 *h«»rt tinir, y lui lo my «»ld 

wcalard. \' wc wrr\- talking lugriher, tlic di>iual 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 61 

howl of a dog was heard, and the sharp report of a 
gun-shot echoed through the plantation ; while my 
favourite spaniel ran up to mc, bleeding to death fronl 
a wound in the side. My anger kindled, and I ex- 
claimed to the workmen : * Boys, come on ! let us 
secure those poacliers, who, not satisfied with shoot- 
ing my game, kill my dog also.' Not a labourer 
stirred ; but my steward, being a privileged person, 
threw his arms round my waist, and endeavoured to 
restrain me from entering the plantation. A horrid 
idea flashed upon my brain, as I tore away from the 
old man, and rushed towards the dwelling-house. ' I 
may be in time to secure the door,' I exclaimed, over 
and over again, as I rushed madly through the fields. 
But tlierc — ay, even in the broad daylight, before my 
ow^n door, stood several armed men ; they presented 
their guns at my head — what cared T for their weapons? 
— they bid me keep back. ' We don't want your blood,' 
said the miscreants, 'we could have had that long ago ; 
we want your arms.' I grappled with the speaker, 
and received a stunning blow on the back of my head. 
I was overpowered and [>laced on my knees opposite 
my own door ; the house was filled w ith armed men, 
ransacking every hole and corner for arms and anmiu- 
nition. 

" My fire-arms were easily found, and I rejoiced to 
see the gang quitting the house, in obedience to the 
command of their captain. In this wretch, I soon 
recognised the son of a drunken farmer, who had held 
forcible possession of his land for several years, with- 
out paying either rent, tithes, or taxes ; drunkenness 
and night-walking had given his countenance a cada- 
verous hue, while his bad gray eye burned with all the 
evil passions and imaginary wrongs of his race. I 



kiww I \ukt\ iioihiQf lo c ' frt>cti him—l frlc thai 

my ckxMn «*«« ««led» •««i «lu n lie addiMHKl aw in a 
Tu|p(Br and fBmilua Uiia . ^S« li4\c guc ail ruur 
UwU now.' mm! be, 'and thai braai UowlaftMai 111 
carrr niTirir; but tbe littlr piMob you buugbt in 
Uuliliti, 1 vani ibctn — band ibcm brrc' 1 prulr«lrd I 
bad tbcA DoC. * Seareb bua/ mm tbe rrply— and my 
pockrt» were Marrhrd in rwUL in my pocket4iook 
tbrjT fuut%i\ mv hjUf \ iiu^'s nni in noCca and Kold, and 
m cbej forced il into mv p(K*krt afpun. 1 >ri'd 

to keep iL 'Take all- -take my |>ri»|Hrtv.' 1 
•bMiC franiir, * but let OK go to my im ifr 
^-kt me fee ber once mure.' * Uo, bo— bo, buT cji- 
cbumed tbc captain^ * tbe piMoU arc in bi* wifir*0 
room— ni noon aak ber wbcrc tbev are/ Mid be. 
* Honour, capuinl* «id a tall dark-baiivd aaii, wbo 
wat called tbe lieutenant, * bonour, captain,— don't 

dkluHi till* (l>ing woman.' ' I) n !• r b— y 

wonlp* cncd the captain, »inkin^ it upon 

tbe &ce wiib tbe Imtl of the hit hM 

into the booK, wbile tbe lieui' , i- 

ing vi»agc with bit ccMtnUeere. * Ha, ba !— take tbat 
8baii Kiiaii/ eiclaioicd aevcral of tbe gang ; * none of 
your MiiiiMrr tricks up bare, guMoon !' 

" Hi' 4' rufllant liatl ■ ' • <, \%iii ^ 

apar I* >>' ^ Nicariog tl « beluw, n :* 

bad l(K'ke«i llie door and mU ig artMuid their 

|Mior inolber. My brothrr liad al*o k(*|K lii» |ii»i ; Ik* 
remained in lirr room alto ; but «il»eii tlic Uu*! of the 
gang Itad retrratetl from tbe bouie, a maid-^ri atit 
announced the glad tiding*, and my daughter ui*.... ..«d 

tbe door ja»l a» the M^age ia|ttaiii niabed up tbe 
ilaaf»p and tbe neii momant leapetl into my wife a 
cbaoibar. My wile aal up in ber bed, and tlie mia- 



LIFE EN THE WEST. 63 

creant rudely demanded where the pistols were con- 
cealed. ' But I'll soon find them,' said he ; throwing 
up the window-sash, and hallooing to the gang below, 
he desired them to shoot the prisoner, while he counted 
three, if he did not name the exact spot where the 
pistols were concealed ; and pronounced in a loud 
voice, ' One, two' — then leaning upon his elbows, he 
looked down upon me with a fiendish grin, while the 
sharp clicking of the gun-locks round me told me my 
fate hung on a hair. 

" At that breathless moment, while the eyes of the 
gang were raised to the window at which their cap- 
tain stood, a loud explosion and a shriek broke from 
the house, the captain's arms dropped, the blunder- 
buss escaped from his hands, his chin touched his 
breast for a second, he sprang forward with a wild 
yell, and fell from the window upon the hall-door 
steps, a mutilated corpse. The gang rushed to raise 
their captain, while in the confusion I escaped into 
the house, and entered my wife's room ; it was filled 
with smoke. John was kneeling in the middle t>f the 
floor, laughing, as an idiot may laugh ; he held a pair 
of pistols which he had just discharged, extended to- 
wai'ds the window. I turned to the bed, but it was 
all over ; her spirit had departed — she was at rest." 

My host paused : he turned his face to the wall : I 
had no consolation to oficr. I withdrew from the 
parlour, inwardly regretting that I had recalled such 
heart-rending recollections. 

I made up my mind that night before I slept — and 
certainly I did not fall asleep as soon as I wished, after 
hearing such a tale of woe — I leisurely made up my 
mind to have nothing to say to Altadugh. '• It woidd 
be a good investment, to be sure," re£vsoned j^rudence ; 



64 um tx Till: wcrr. 

**ljtit I ^« uh to irtidc •nd •• (<» iiimm|t otn the tniaot, 
no OMUi. tare a Rii«iaa dripol, ^ drr^m nf 

•orh a iliiiig : but ihcrr mrr Mirh mm in the h 

rmpirr, cold, calm' ••••»•• frilu.i i:** j.ott will I* 
bought bv one of tlum - tin* man tiinirti ooL Wbat 
then? I waa not afrmkl of iIk* K'nlitti^^iiav, had I 
bcf n hrrr when i^ . anu hiwl rtllacknl tlic Ikhmt, 

YC K»»*t», h«»w I \<Mtiltl iuwr foii_' •' f^' veral 

U|w at the rut short ihu tiriMlr. aiid mv heart 

b(*c4mr as wr.d( h>» water. Dtrn m' • 

nhowcr of hail, I lili»«nii/ri!. •• Vrs it i» in my 
power to keep thin ainiahlr faniilv al homo— I |Hir- 
chaur the Un<l, marrv the daughter, awl — aU^, poor 
dear llilrn ! v«»nr eve» an- t<x» hri;;ht for thi* wicked 
wiirld. No! j^lM-Vthr hritir t»f ' mi" Nexf mom- 
inp. in ••plir nf my h«»-lV kind and pr« ri» 

ili.ii I \»«Mild pass nnoi her diy with linn, 1 ti>«»k h-ate 
uf niv h<r.| L, Mv hu>t ^ I nie 

to hin In^ii ^alf. 

* If vou like thi< place/* i*«iid the poor fellow, *<cloa*t 
let me stand in voiir wav. 1 am reaily to turn mit. 
and pi%*e you pomesstoii whenever you wi*h to rr^ide 
hire; hut wh< llier v«»ti l»et*onK» a |Hin'lia>er <»r not, 
uli r vnii (iMiu* lo ilii.H jKirt of the country, make 

ni\ hoiiM- vMir honic." 

I gni*»jMd li !kI. Npr.iii^; ii|»on niv « -it- 

in;; car, and now left Aliiwhfjrh fttr id me. 

Uctuniing to the nirtrv- .. . 1 |tcrfannetl tome 
thirty milea of the j«mniey in the canal or fly-lMiat : 
the grand cahin, whith, hy the way, rrminih-d me of an 
omnihus wiih a pUnk ninnitig llinnigh the middle 
^\ way of a table, wn " ' li rvf- ' dn-^^etl 

H<»*»i vrr, ihrv »l«*«<l up wuh a littir n»««re 
c ibau the > ati oinoibuft — 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 65 

Bank side Temple Bar — but before I could take my 
place, I was addressed by one of the passengers. 

" Be steady, sir ; look at the brass pendulum — the 
regulator, sir ; don't you perceive it inclines to this side 
already ; you can't sit on this side, sir ; but the ladies 
opposite will acconnnodatc you, othervvise our lives 
will be jeopardized." 

*' Oh, sit at this side, sir — sit here, sir !" squalled the 
said ladies ; and 1 got seated at last. 

"You dou't understand the fly-boat, sir," said the 
last speaker, addressing me again ; *' but before you 
get through the next double lock, you'll be wide 
awake, as I am, to the danger of 

" Oh, is there any danger?" said a bilious Httlc wo- 
man at my side. 

" Why, for my own part, I never like to alarm 
people — I hate that ; but, when accidents will happen 
in the best regulated iamilies, why not in tins very 
irregular ?" 

*' Oh, queen of heaven ! we're upside down !" ex- 
claimed a very fat woman, as the boat jarred suddenly 
against the to.wing-path, and glanced under a bridge. 

"Be calm, be resigned, Mrs. Doolan; keep your 
eyes upon me, and when you sec me bolt through 
this window, it will be time enough for you to follow 
my example." 

*' But you're such a brave man, Mr. Malone — I de- 
clare I feel as weak as water." 

" Try a drop of the native, Mrs. Doolan ; I see you 
have a bottle in your lap." 

"Ah, fie for shame, Mr. Malone! — it's only a sup 
of bitters I carry for my daughter, jwor thing !" 

" Well, Mrs. Doolan, you uuist take a glass of stout 
with me." Thus saying, Mr. Malone rang the bell, 



66 uri: IK Till. 

gola' ineMAnd iwoiuaiblefm. II 

;49 m. owed bjr ilu- rrM of ihc pa» , m; 

and mmnB c Itrtad ajuI ibecte vm Uid on ibc 

booi : M:. ' irnnirit in hr ihfi WMifr yrit iif 

die p — rimrii r he wa* one of iboK rttrkl'^^i^ n^ir^i 
diAnioiiiK irutn whicii die teoMliTe recui. • 4..^t 
ttiAii ri>r • small panv, ■uoir »ii frrt llirrr - V ^^ 
»iM« N tiig (jonrd, aod HiiiiMiljr builL HU cmii 
^«.i^ tint die iiiuKt fin |iiwing in the world, !)> 
tttl<»m(^l with A ru-li {iroteioo of caHmnckt. abrufH- 
iiommI. iad« bc« 

haiMl^-liHirftl. lit lboiw)lt be V 
in a v«iti(t hat uitb cfape, and a full Miii <if black ; 
•o» at die n|)e age uf littvfuur, be f^ve bini»clf tlie 
aim of twentV'fuur. Emboldened witb tbe donbic X be 
had twallowed. be made every one in llie boat— his own 
predont aelf alwa^n cxcefHed— unaitnfoftable, |Hilled a 
mimi^cd iK-Wfpaper from btjt ••! ; and, to tbe 

great annovaiice of a Terr cjuiet old rlrr>;\tiuin and ro- 
mancic jroung bMl), wbu bail IxmIus ll><^ felluw began 
to read aloud« pro Aane fmbHto^ as ha aakl, tlie prioaa 
current of the- DuUm Marktt note — Alum, Aldeffa, 
AnlJmooj, Butlers f *orka, Carlowa, per Cool, Bacon, 
Bcca-wax, Hides, Leather, calf,ic>lc diiti», kip» ; Ixrad, 
''A, |»i. T I ♦rice, Lem- l^ard, 

bladderxni, I S .^ • ' I. is iiitiicatel, nun, in casks; 
Ski • ! I • - II< ir tbr \inan 

UidduHii bm lio< • . iiil\ < iitrratad Mr. Msloof 

ID read to hmiMlf. 

*\Nbv •bduld I?^ was the |»i»bti- re|»ly — " whjr 
•liotdd I be Ml i^lhsli as to aKNU)|)olixc all the net** '-' 

" i.\ I « MM . ir. rv|iiacd ibc other — ** i, li>r <me— 
and I ilitiik 1 iiiJiv aafwer fur tbi*|oungts<lv. ttmre 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 67 

very little interested in the news you have just been 
reading ; it may be news to you, but defend me from 
such news !" 

" Upon my word, I'll venture to say, that the ladies 
and gentlemen would rather listen to my price-cur- 
rent than to your dry sermon, parson ; but since you 
request it, I'll put up my paper. Now, then, are you 
satisfied ? I make it a rule never to make any man 
uncomfortable. I was just getting into the births, 
deaths, and marriages ; but no matter." 

Mr. Malone now favoured us with an account of 
his visit to his landlord, who had just returned from 
the Continent, where he had resided for many years, 
married a woman old enough to be his mother, and 
that ceremony being performed, returned to his country 
castle in Ireland, where Mr. Malone found him doing 
the great man. 

"His lordship," said Mr. Malone, *'is a slight, fair- 
haired young man, something like you, sir," turning 
to a gentleman, who blushed to the ears with pleasure, 
and said — 

" Like me, sir ? How curious !" 

" Yes, sir, like you, and not two removes from a 
fool, — the greatest ass in existence. But her ladyship, 
she's a duke's daughter, they say ; yes, positively, 
she is the very picture of that lady near the door." 

" O, indeed, sir, you flatter me !" said the lady. 

'•' Yes, madam, her ladyship is a stout, red-faced 
punchy old woman." 

The poor lady did not look so flattered. 

Hitherto I had escaped from the lash of this 
Goliath, but now it was my turn to enter the lists 
with him. He heard me speaking about land to one 
of my neighbours, an intelligent Scot, who had a large 



:. ur mat mttr. 

form on ilir \mi 4jia], and c lu p iag hit kandi 

lov r. aimI 1« furward upon hit elhov« <*n * 

boanl. Mr. Malfiu li^.iknl up ami clown ih: 
9ttk.i*...i^ and wiiikin}*. m he ini|uirrd, ** Wli% m- .^,.t 
on to »lowljr villi the Minrrv.** 

I riHiM n«»i pivtend to att^wtr ilut «(ii* t* •". r 
ciallv .^^ I did not in ' ind «iliat fli. t 

man >t. 

•* < • rxrx, .•/' waft hi> rrj 

•• I \* i^ n»»! « li— * 

'• I*«»b! Icll flic \imrr unt n lnnd-*;tinrr\f'r *''* 

•* Nil, dr. I am ihh." 

*• Humph !** frniiitcd Mr. M.donr, loolr- vrrr 
acriuua aimI aiu»trrr. " tii iiiv vtKiiigrr da^^^-aixi 
I'm n«»l very «»ld — it wai* ibc niMmii for rvrrr man lo 
MV ^\iM lie was, like a man: no dandy (-lrrk> 
pasrtl tlictiiMlvf H ofTaii ol < tlir n.> I 

didn'i •CIV v<m were a clirk nor an offiirr, >ir; IhjI I 
pfriniM' 

•• NfillH-r," said I, haMlilv. 

" lliiiiipli ! Hnf^nHMi rormrrlv, in tlic ({ond old 
(iiiH «, a!»-«»lulrl^* learned ^\Mif^ ; yo, a Iwp of jvitlrnu 
nnd •^iiiiplt-. Mi !^ ! .' t' wind Mi^ar, Mr ll-'j»- 
kiiiN ; f»lirwf«tl ilirir v *!• *"l .inktil «»rtl<*f> <'i> ill 
occa^itMlJ^ Mi^^ I'f tlv loilv! llir Kvi inui 

i«alm\('llrr, if vou plfwc— cum i i nik. 1*11 1 
you for vtHir l»o«»k «(f imiirnut, ^ir.'' 

•* Sir, ■ Haiti I, *' 1 hare no U»«»k uf |iallrnii^" 

" lliiiiiph! call it a liook of prints: yotir \nnti "^ 
plinth, ^ir," j»rrM'Tcrr<l Mr. .NIal»»nr. 

•* I Ii4\r no \ttMti. of prinK Mr.** 

** lluiiipli! ill the Ira liiir. I Mi|t|iOir I ! «r. 

llirrt: I .1 kliuw, ^ lo l.iv 111 Mock d 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 69 

opportunity for you — sliew your samples — open 3^our 
case — do a little l)usiness — I'll help ^^ou. What sa}^ 
you, Mrs. Quade, shall we look at this gentleman's 
samples ?" 

Mrs. Quade replied, with a toss of her head, " In- 
deed, she preferred piercing; a chest at Kinahan's." 

" But consider this young man, and his most re- 
spectable house — his hyson, and hue black and green, 
his flowery pekoe, and " 

" I beg your pardon, sir," said I, not relishing the 
jest at all ; " I am not a mercantile traveller." 

" Humph ! I remember the time, and it's not 
very long ago — it was a troublesome time, sir — last 
rebellion, sir — when, as officer of the Merchant Yeo- 
manry Cavalry, it was m}'^ duty to arrest every sus- 
picious character ; and though I have retired from 
business, bought a farm, and the corps is broken up, 
yet I feel an inchnation to resume my aulhorit}'- 
"'.vhenever I smell the air of my native city. Ves, sir, 
I once arrested a very suspicious character in a canal- 
boat." 

" Oh, for love of the Vargin, don't proceed to ex- 
tremities," s(pialled the nervous Mrs. Doolan. 

" Mrs. Doolan, be calm — keep your eye upon me ; 
if you see me produce — (putting his hand into his 
waistcoat) —a warrant " 

"I'll faint, I'll faint, Mr. Malone; j^ouVe not in 
earnest, but you look so savage." 

" Y(ju grow complimentary, Mrs. Doolan — savage ! 
I flatter m3'self no lamb could be more peaceably in- 
clined, nor look more sweetly." 

" Then you do flatter yourself, Mr. Malone ; you 
ought to be ashamed of yourselti so you ought — fright- 



70 1118 m ruK warr. 

ih^ lifip ml of m wrak, utmm woman likt 



** How ii<n(jii0 Ton wrt. Mm DnnlMi T frtortcd 
Mr. Maloiir. ilmwiiig a liKin ptpr from bin rmrlrof • 
•• • ct>j»*<-»rncT make* <»owiinU of im alL* * 

'* S|triik lor votir«rll, Mr. Malone.* 

\ Unie for njwM^ and iwiot at mudi hr vou. 
Sit^ |)ool " 

•* For nir, 1 •»< .irn v<Mir 

•• A now vou'rr I \otir own a- 

ma'ani." 

** What do Tou know about niT eounl«r? I drfv 
you ; it ncrrr wan rtn up hv thr !^n1 Major, liko 
jour own." 

*' You*rp mistaken, Mru iAjuUii— touVp thmking 
of vtHir fiuber*t ootinii-r and abort meaaura." 

** No, fir, Fm think iiif? of Tour tmndy ^u^jw ami 
light w. 

** A , • t'*ir \iuir thoughts ibmi, iboaith it^ 

tmon thiin thcv arr worth, ma'am," co. <i Mthmr : 

'^no, ma'am, I'm aboreboord in all m? . ^^ . 1.4.1 
pUj was alwart mj mocto—liTp ami let lire. Come, 
f»liakr handi. Mm. Doolan. 1 have a rtrr grrat rr- 
ganl for your httsbaiid-^ilecrnf man. I recollrct the 
time when no \oya\ man in Duhlm wotikl wear a 
^' to hii fool uiih %rt ha bought it at iXnihui'^ 
l-art, 0ir, that man might have oooMnamli d thnuaindt 

r hr t(M»k the iMMirfit ot thr act.** 
Vviicr having been «. In-twrrn ibeaa nrigh- 

bourljr ' Mr. Malooa, impatirni at tirnig cxiufiril 

op K> long, huncnlnl iIm* fi»llv i»f the comfianv. who 
bad given up the old Irf^f-multoo boau ktr tlui^ 
fly-awav cockle-abelk 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 71 

" In the old leg-of-mutton boats 3^ou progressed 
steadily, sir," said he ; " if you felt inclined to walk, 
you could stretch yourself along the towing-path, for 
a mile or two, without any inconvenience ; you might 
sit on deck and enjoy the prospects ; you might write 
your letters, eat your leg-of-mutton dinner, make 
your tumbler of whiskey punch, in peace and quiet- 
ness ; but now a hasty bottle of ale, and, mayhap, a 
scrumption of bread and cheese, is all you have to 
comfort you ; and, positively, I would as soon sit in 
the pipe of a bellows — such a draught of air, since they 
have got the fashion of taking the doors off the hino-es, 
by way of giving more room to the passengers ; and, 
observe, sir, we have the full benefit of a stream of 
flies from the stagnant pools, and dust kicked up b}^ 
the horses from the towing-path ; but this is more of 
your reforming ])lans — everything must be done in a 
hurry now-a-days. * Marry in haste, and repent at 
leisure,' — good proverb that. Miss Pryke, (Miss P. 
was an old maid) — but I never talk politics before the 
ladies." 

I was not sorry to hear the bell proclaiming our 
arrival in the good city of Dublin, nodded at my 
familiar Goliath and his friends, and once more re- 
turned to the comforts of Gresham's Hotel." 



73 UrC IX TUB WMT. 



CliMTKK V 



MA— Aip lA dt«tn-«(« trpoii lo Ur the l*i« 

iirftll« II lliyiiw A IO«— L«dtf lo iW 

— UoM our It 4 fork. 

Tur. utonn ttill ragen ivith tiniuiiifi^ctl fury: r^'vy 
nil lutt been bluwn oiit of tlic IjuIi rt>|ic<t. i ,.c 
nilors cnffinecni, and Mokcrt \rmk m\U\, wmibrr- 
I, aiiil i-xhniisiiil. 1^ic r«|>lAJii LM»kin^ aiiiitm^ 
ami cAjr^Udni, llic limits d «1 ; tho |»niiii< 

lire k «l<*iu*rl(*tl, nml rn'<)iiri >«a*>lirtl %%ith mms ; 

fon^.inl, till* ^ .111 lli.tt tbi ir Im rlb«i nrv* 

rn*<|iiriillv iiiiimlati il. It t**;!!! aui 
(o lu(»k fnun aA (be biiiiuub*. o.^ llu* \t*>iM-l n»ll<t mi ... . 
siiir till Imt f(|iani and tlic tail rbimnry alnnwl loiirb 
ibe %ralt*r, and llii* |kaddlr-liox in |iliiii|{rtl into tbr 
%raTr«t, wiib a rr|M»rt like ibc nuirin^ tifrainuHi; tbcn 
ilciwlv brr rniiilibriiiin, mir nival Ycwcl 

m I « 

niuiiiits a liniotl liilln%r, (ill (li«* (1 1^ t\\ .cad 

of (iiir • r( »oYrn*i^ii (iirnt (i» b«*av€*n ; tb« n 

|iliiiti.'4ii^' tliiwrn, a?« if III imri r«ir r\rr in(«» (Ik* ** b<-ll 
of walrrt" Itrncadi cMir (n*iiilibii^ Irrl. () .. u 

grows rri(ir4l — cvrr>' boiir «• l-^ ..hm t1.i-»u fiiun c»if 
our iMHbllc-wbccU. lntbr«l. ;,,> .......^.••i ub«i*l i« 

ftlrtadjr Mripitcd uf brr Hi>4(«, and (be inm-ring^ and 



LIFE IX Tin: WEST. 73 

bare arms of the wheel wlih'l round perfectly useless. 
By an unpardonable oversight, we have not a single 
spare float on board, even if the sea was smooth 
enough to permit us to rig up the wheel again. This 
is a sad affair ; and now the floats on the starboard 
side begin to drop off, and we lose steerage way. 
This fearful intelHgence has divers effects on the 
passengers : some maintain a good countenance, others 
sink at once into the deepest despondency ; the women 
are too ill to move, and tlie men crawl about the 
saloon, whispering their lears. Bacchus, Silenus, and 
Jonathan Wild, and another of that precious chque, 
still cling together, drinking, singing, and uttering 
the most awful oaths and blasphemies. The hapless 
wife of that mad reveller Jonathan Wild, sits near 
him, holding an infant in her arms; the poor heart- 
broken young woman begs her husband to return 
from the table, to give her the boy he holds on his 
knee, and down whose infant throat he forces wine or 
brandy every time he (ills his own glass, lie answers 
his wife with an oath, consigns her to perditic^u, 
snatches the infant from her bosom, tells her to get to 
her berth, and be d — -d, amidst the cheers of his 
boon companions. She listens to all his abuse, but 
will not leave her cliildren. lie threatens to strike 
her, and his comj)ani()ns restrain him ; at length the 
rage of the rest of the p:ussengers breaks forth, and 
the unnatural father throws his children to his wife, 
and returns with his boon companions to his old 
haunt, the bar, a dismal hole in the hold, under the 
saloon, from which Bacchus, Silenus, and Jonathan 
Wild are dragged almost nightly, by the waiter, in a 
state of beastly intoxication. 

E 



i.irr IS Tiir wiarr. 



Ou SumUT i\tt fiann >« tl lo n^. 

m 

gpokc uf pmjrr. sjmI a wan Uit no 

could rrail aIouU. 'ITircii, '^ 

with ii« <tatrcl the qtMnlii N . tlic i . ^ , 

uf ibr •< . ibc datnaicrtl »Ulc cif llir Miib ; br 

Mkrtl m li ''• «1m1 not think it AilviMi*^* ^o run fur 
the Atofvtt antl tnr to rrarli Fn* ^ ^< n;l (4* ibe 

iiai»»' '( Mkl it wm^i ihr mily ciuUR* uc iiiA&i. Inil • 

^. iiAii frt>ni the Far NV.-*t t!i tlnn-il it wtmUl be 

111 whii <« to mil I tlir \%iii(l tli «. 

iiiiiiiAnag- vr«irl. ** VNr talk n( 

miuiiiig lu ll»r Atoim,'* imiil Iw, |x / lo llir %ia11 

of WAtrri on rillicr tttle — ** ^% liv. grnil. . * muU lie, 

^ wr are aciually in tbc tn>ii^b of iIm* w*m, at tbe 
rv of the ira^mr Hit wortU niadc a cirrp im- 
nr. i.»n on alL Tliiji tlay wr lo«t alernif^way for 
fire ln»iir» at n ^^M ** A «iil -■ Mtil*" wan ' r) 
l, Wi nil on tlrrk, aiul t liic 

tlim oiillim- of a *lii|» !•» lf<»wanL *• T t i- ilie 

Prr«i«biil.'' "^"l ""«•• '* Thr I i» I w 

lanrr,'* ^aid aiioilur ; and in ibr lMillkIill^ ofoii rTr 
a limttti billow bid brr fn>in (Mir tiigbl. 

Moiidav morning dawni nii«»|Mri«Mi-tv iK. r. u a 
lull in lb' III. a bn*ntbiiif( |Miiis*r ; iii< nt^aiv 

^. «i !ill Ii.'UmU m»i to work, lij .!. up llie 

pgl|i||(..«k' 1 of ibr Ibxr ^n 

tbr UrUMiftl ' tran«»? lo tbr »l. 

.,»,! witb ' ^- m-wb- f»i-l, m m hn ibr 

f,.I!iiiL» uml I »hr r 

U;w.. tlir Monn raine on wiib ? 

ImiIi wa« M-rrHc-d Ikmim*. aii«l I iirti . j ^ •! nwirr 

brartiU m -i ««ibl cheer lliaii ilir ntonirni llir nonlt 
' aiP »ri mir fnlbuit ve«iel in molion. And 



LIFE IN THE WEST, 75 

we did go a-licad, in the very teeth of the gale, and 
considered the danger over, though our paddle-wheels 
were still in a crippled state. 

What a strange compound of vanity and selfishness 
we poor, tempest-tossed mortals are made of; bv the 
starting of a plank, or the failing of a rivet, we may 
be plunged beneath the boiling waves, and sleep, 
cheek b}' jowl, stoker by captain, first-class passenger 
with greasy butcher, for ever. Notwithstanding all 
these sad reflections, there is a great deal of grumbling 
and ill feeling stirred up among us, when the third- 
class passengers, who mess with the first and second 
classes, are forced to evacuate their j^erths forward by 
leakage, and share the cabins and state-rooms of the 
happy dogs wdio have hitherto enjoyed single blessed- 
ness. I escape from the honour of being saddled 
with a damp passenger through a nail-hole, a small 
leakage rendering the upper berth untenable. Ijnt 
loud words pass between a greasy Israelite and a 
fastidious West Indian, while old Ilere-we-go is at 
loggerheads with a bear-headed blue-nose — certes the 
blue-nose took up his quarters chez Ilere-we-go rather 
unceremoniously, and threw his saddle-bags into that 
gentleman's berth without leave or licence. Here- 
we-go jumped u[) in a rage, threw the saddle-basjs 
down the hatchway, shook his fist in the blue-nose's 
face, ran down to the saloon, laid the whole case 
before the captain, snapped his fingers, spoke of law 
and logic. The captain, distracted enough already, 
answered testily ; Here-we-go retorted uncourteously ; 
and it is " a very pretty quarrel as it stands." 

As the storm abates the cold increases, and w'e are 
getting into higher latitudes. Having all our North- 
ing to do yet, the want of stoves in the saloon is keenly 

E 2 



7« 

in^ «tr < lng >r< f*t ^ .. ilir iifilnml Iwal. h i 

|b« ~ "-* »*'^^ I ntt; i 1: ^ _ 

«|Mnl which *mnii |. ••*'' ^nu.ucr^t u^ ^nh 

* ' tfiil ni|»i«hlv. 1 til I'lui -1 ••»••, i'^ lit- 

tolalU-r <*1 .^olltUi rsirnit 

. . 1,1^ to !• ft^irr tluui anj umn ou 

\...,iA, ihu I tUff to iwit llic migir 

Mi.j..tl.i/« r ii|M>ii hi U> |iuri, iukI Io il»r 

t .tf\ tii^ tu king |»ig; ImiI i: 

luitui rvr /«* rhamn; All BtlKry B^ ^ ('*^ 

wu*4i. J*.^. *,i;.ak, Sc«4, niii ^ . nr iMUMlirU 
backwiinlH oimI fomanls nH iIm- hViii|mhii4.T, lunrtn*' 
111) his c<mU (Miflii, ofTrrfHl l(» rrai-k llic bliio*n4Mr*» lu « .^ 
fi*r ihr pMul of v. Thin grm i\Mtt oflcr ihr him - 

ii4«-r (li I ^hniiil bftck Ihmi lh«- litg • ' r 

«ilhavrryi> !««'• Thi* ci i« r «l» 

rrniw A '•!? ^»*** 

till iIh* - ^nl. m fomit<h ttn*.*. niju.. 

■ml uliKlitMiiJy an..... ..... • '^»«^*' «**'*^ the 

I'ntM h ihrv raiuioi havr niiv m.-.. . •..' . ..... . ^....i.. i. 

\\m\ a U»iiil>Hih«ll lulhii on ihr lal>h* iM-fiirr ll»rni» il 
ctMihl ikH liavr • irf oulrrv. Th.x i^pning 

u|>, aimI ni^Jiril «Hi ihf k %»iih a \ •! "f ^ 

yMr/ kurrrur ! i 

I, ,ufti/»U* rr ! \ I I, 

ha.._. ......... 'I 

ibrwiiHlsralniUhiaiiitui ^ iiii.mIh* ^' • 

itfcwAnl i* in faull, ami lliry »liall *"^- "■ -^ - • 
iu fiiliirr. //r ' hr(tri$umti* . •».• '*"■ 

AiTM ' Um * Imm : /- 'IV t ' '^ it ra^Hiu \ 

violiu ' ^ 

I. . .1 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 77 

Italians go capering and capricoling about the slippery 
decks, to Straiiss's bal Ivaccatiu galop, mingled with 
O'Keefe's hornpipe. Vive la bagatelle! 

Crossing the Banks, the cold t^till increasing, water 
frozen in our watcr-botllcs, the ship's bows and fore- 
castle a mass of glittering ice, several sailors ailing, 
one frost-bitten in the fingers ; we are bound for 
Halifax now. The Baltimore lawyer and others are 
seen whisk iuir about the state rooms and saloon, with 
sheets of writing-paper in their hands, and pens behind 
their ears, or mysteriously conferring together in little 
knots; the result of their lucubrations and consulta- 
tions is soon made manifest, and the passengers being 
nuistered in the saloon, the I>altiiiioreaii takes leave 
to read an address from the })assengers on board the 
British Queen to the captain, congratulating him, &c. ; 
upon which another seedy individual — whose face we 
have not seen since the storm began, and now glides 
about the deck, recording the doings of the young 
Italian count, with whom he secitis anxious to scrape 
a close ac([uaintance — " Monsieur le (^^ount is skipping 
a1)out! Monsieur Ic Count, he is danciiii.!: like our- 
selves! Monsieur le Count is (pilte a sailor!" all this 
marvellous intelligence is bleated about by this bleak- 
looking individual — who now thrusts himself forward, 
and reads a pro[)osal that a subscription be forthwith 
entered into — a purse raised — a few pounds subscribed 
by the passengers — to purchase a small testimonial, a 
piece of plate, for the captain. This proposal, ema- 
nating from such a source, is not as heartily responded 
to as that of the Baltimore lawyer ; however, the paper 
was laid on the table with a solicitation for signaturcr. 
The wording of the address is the next knotty point, 
the quaker objecting to llatterv hi tutu, others think- 



78 UfP »^ '^^^ ^ 

iiiK ibt «ldrM» loo long* uiImi> iliinLitig it pceiiiaivrr ; 

tttt% w» itu Wi2 I iiiiu 111 ill- *u lUff AIM! 1 1 .i»»- .1 i» \ »« • " ' 

be bat peonctl, i(» ihr ri»tii|uiiv. il>c { ~ ' "(*turft of u.l 
llriii-h C^nrrn. lie lirKait Kv ^i ' of 

tluil hr Um\ |KUtl ii] \ 

}. Male riMifii, aimI )«C€Q 

•rr rr»f»«'i ; tlial lir l» ' 

bv ihr ra|ilAiii, who t «il lu |hiI 1i;iii in it 

I.. .\u\ i...f |jrlui%i* liiaiMrlf ; Mp|irAU lu iIm- fiOKKCiigt r» 
a Hi liK-t \tmf> nut bcrn llial of m gcntlrnian, rr* 

qiMiu tiu-ir »' ' *tim» tu hit Ic-llrr, «nd leto tii» ch*^-' 
on the uMc umu* lie IuumU iIic Ictirr to onr of tiur 
nmm Hir Baltimorr law vrr (l(*iim Jociatliaii 

Wild tu lake- hi»thil(l (Hit ultlir light, aiul a vrrv v^Vt- 
ftitift, ihotigh mK vrrv rlrg«uil. n mimit* ; 

the Uw\rr « lad. «• to hu- 

nuinilT aiMl hi« i u, and a |mt tu BCHirlv, ^ 
oihrr i}> not hlow tu rrtuni the ruai|>lifiirnl, *M •.lavi* 
dritiii'Z Iwicliflor ; mean, fawning lu•k^t - 

' ;• hvpticrilr, U'injr the iuic>4.u m i't> 

Mini . 'ittl ll|MMI llu' laMMT. M« « 

FrriK'h .N< >' ^ • '»• >. with a tare like ah 
inoiint. i»|»r > .: ii|i«»ii .!< ihe chdd in I 

lip fn»in the- uhlr. ond i» I frtnn iMiiitf 1 1 I 

hrt%ir«-ii llie grapphii^ Tlu I run hu. uih 

t» uiu*alU*<l fur. and Juiiaih.m. if hr it In lir kukrd. 

tntiM nut be kicked by a Fi« iiuui. Ill* Mi>f'..rf|||yii(. 

wife makes her ni/rrr with tlie irrraining mi.uii, and 

brr «' umI »ob» fall like oil iifuMi ihr angry wavc^ 

Ji 1 loi< t hr rrfuam; the cap- 

r. and 1' ' if ihr rr»t of the |wi%- 

; lir |Nil 
\Uni % ry; tlie I arc atuuutu Tor t .< 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 79 

example to be made, but the lately abused Baltimore 
lawyer, to his credit be it spoken, enlists the Americans 
on his side, and Jonathan is saved from the clutch 
of the quartermaster, and permitted to return to his 
cabin. Meantime our steward has been fighting behind 
the scenes, and received a tremendous black eye from 
an exasperated waiter, who is sent forward in irons. 

The French and Germans have got up a separate 
address to the captain, lauding his conduct and courage 
to the skies, but condemning the conduct of the 
steward, who has treated them with great imperti- 
nence. This letter is handed round after dinner for 
signature, and disappears very mysteriously at that end 
of the table where the ancient j^eople are seated. The 
French are furious, anil this will grow a brawl anon. 
Several English and Americans now make conuiion 
cause with the French, and the letter is angrily de- 
manded, and it is traced to the aforesaid (juarter. 
The steward has been seen drinking with Bacchus, 
Silenus, Jonathan Wild, the sanguine sympathizer, 
and his clique of ancient people, and being on our 
legs, a spirited and plucky little German roundly 
charges the sympathizer, in his tiger-skin waistcoat, 
with having made away with the letter. That great 
philanthropist answers in brief and most unparliamen- 
tary language; he tucks up his coat cuffs, doubles his 
fists, and strikes out at the little German, who takes up 
an imposing position also ; but Jonathan Wild throws 
himself between the pugilists ; flinging his sow- wester 
at one and his mackintosh at the other, he offers to 
fi'dit them both ; while another German and the 
steward are at loQ-frerheads to leeward, shakinq; their 
fists in each other's faces, and threatening to wring 
each other's noses off. In the midst of this party of 



^^ uri- !^ rii« 

fJ^asmrt • f»un ift ftrr«l, ami m cry of If**^^ >• ' ^ like a 
cliann on llir brlli|:rrrnT Wc nii^li aii<i *^^ up 

ihc hii' ^ . ami IcmA ii|M»n ilic blrak auu lioity 

»h<>t' ' a di»f -a ihccHrfli ^g^^* ^^^^ ^^ 

he ihr <1 UimI )i mi murh ban Ucn 

fw> W , I about 

it. c itl All At lir 1 : ai the 

(!• a !• ift MaM liiard 

over iIk* fnr zing water. N^i waul a pilot, aint » t'^ itig 
' •^fiiall < r, M*nil a boat aftrr lu-r, \m: ..... |;c 

iu sii^'* ihc ii uiiw »li€cr« olT «>illi all »ail, aiMl irc haul 
up our boat again, llic |MH»r fellows (piiir MifT uiih ruld, 
and llir fpiai* r, ««Iim v«t in tlir ^lr^l nIi* ruM- 

httlrii. A jMlot ut \n>l p»-a-licml ! .Ml n^ht ; «r 
lia\c* him mi Uinnl, aiitl c-ro%i(l t 1 ihr tail blue* 

noHT iv^ r»(^rriv a- if Ih* wah a SmhIi .V'a '■ '-r. 

•A< . lUiMal lI»lira&/*-~lIalirai.P .1 

in tbc workl of «ntm !)%- tlir nii»ft»rtunrf« of Hailv •• un- 

furtnnalc V'-- i , •< i.irt* did »lir li^* 

brr boitM-. »^i«»p lnt iAte licr— »tt»|» hrt it> m» a 
rradi drove .Mim Bailv out of niv head. \N r arr along* 
»i«lc of ( ' 1*5 w liarf, 

nnd (inip|>iii;; into llie amiA of ihr ni<»h «>l llali- 

j: to rrtvive iib with hr\wid ^lart*A. 

Anav ■ up hilt. In the i ii .11, 

lr<| on hv a ^' > iM-whi^ii'nd di t^ -• .. lUirt'tl in 

a lirrn<M*M*, fur 11001.% r^*^ ^^di, a nil ^kull•^ap adunt* 

inv *••" laakl |«ale, lieiai. .....,; a cai1-bi»r'- •■'i* at 

fuii *)« ttl, ami a rrrling UmmI of (•eniuuiji uim i n ui ii* 
mrn %i ' (-A|it an<l h. f , whiir ili« 

moh hrm^ up till :. fJlOUlUi;* likr m> U 

let hor^-. "N inaaoii ' ILiII h.iih not rr- 

d HiK'li a ' I for Miui<- iiiur, I I .il> 

wc took ibat bt'. (orni, 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 81 

and frlnhtened the black waiters into a state of lament- 
able stupidit3^ 

Happy is the man who can get a bed in the Free- 
masons' Hall; first come first served. We early birds 
may go to roost, while the late arrivals are doomed to 
gallop all over Halifax in (juest of bed, and, finally, 
several return, mnch against their will, to sleep on 
board the British Queen. Here, for the first time, I 
taste that trul}' American beverage, egg-nog, a goodly 
jug of which is prepared hy a jovial V^irginian, who 
frequently directs our attention to the number of 
niggers in Halitax ; he declares they are runaway 
slaves, every one of them, ('crtainly thev are the 
ugliest race of men I have ever seen — all lips and 
eyes. Visit the House of Assembly, Governor's 
house, barracks; &e., the town seems to be little better 
than an unsightly jumble of grog-shops. House rent 
is said to be very high, the country round about 
barren and cheerless. I was not sorry to hear that 
our royal vessel was ready for sea again, the smiths 
and carpenters having worked all night at the wheels, 
and the best part of the inhaljitants of the town and 
country poured through the hatches and gangways, 
till, their curiosity at length satisfied, we hoist our 
blue peter, and get up the steam, amidst the farewell 
cheers of the good pco[>lc of Halifax ; but even here, 
and at such a critical moment, our worthy captain is 
doomed to be disappointed. He stood triumphantly 
on the starboard ])addle-box of his royal mistress, and 
doflcd his bomiet to the assembled multitude ; the 
crew cheered, the passengers cheered, the red-hot 
poker was sent forward, the gun fired, — " stop, stop — 
ease her. Stop her ; and we make an inglorious pause, 
and stop short in confusion, in the midst of all the 

e3 



•^ Ufl - rUK VMT. 

ibrcrm. A fvw firthow# frvNii tlir wluiriK ■ loo? »H« 
ha* brrn rtiiwinrd simI rni • -^-^I nMiml oor --i ^ue 
pacldlc-whrrU ; axr» arv pruttuni, ami th< * *toui 
pncTM t*f lulling up « ' !)c il- .. Utu U 



plrsMUil— <»dr— «itf; Uirly d now, •! ail <%• 

c «if the i» 

!• I I • . \\v \lA\V i»o 

bfkAnl, tMU own «4«( frlt« i t^f lotfj I 

Siliinit ddwn lo i-^ .^. ilim* .. 

our bcain-cmlii with <• ^f"'-*' tijc-ri, fuliowcd by m nim- 
bliiig Duiar, and a imuuun^, <|iiakiiig iiioitun iitidrr 
our feci. Hello! wbai'» ihc- uiaiirr ' A gaoenUriMb oo 
dackf whrn, nim iff. wr gr4iity ami mtMy oor- 

Klfct wiih |<^ K Ml tt -headed t 

igiiiMt tbr hate ul whuh t>iir ^hl|>^ n or udr 

bat been M>fm|jcd ; nieaiilinic the bhie-i. ■ j - • has 
mmdr bit etrapr, and fcooc aibore. In thr tpmefal 
eoolunoiu furtuniUely fur hiiiiAelf. hr ha .... i bia 
bacon brforr it ww grm-ndly Lnuwn ilial throtigh bis 
clow ftliaving and (»b5liiiai'y we ^houhl luive run right 
oo tbr rock, had ool our own war% old pilol »ceii il. 
•Sooic pnipoacd ihal we abould mum to llalitax and 
rrpon bis conduct ; ihIutn miI iIiuI wr abotikl 

pursue tilt rtiicgadc a«liore. aiul n>Miini him with a 
good ro|i. .'iiiig: aod» lalkiof; of rrwanl, a Mib* 
Nn|itiuii is rotricd ioii> forthwith tut our uwu ukl 
pilot, who saw tbr luck, aud Muig uul to ilic men at 
tbe wberl, lo which, as an aairiHliiieni, some propose 
to rrwafd the men ai the wbrel ' cn^ to baog a 
medal niuod ibc neek of ilir rov<d li. !ir4il. and 
ibus re%« aitl t lie Qui til, because she c* 
proii •nrmaiisfii •('ffad* 

Ix 

|icr W^ lillli<^hr t^i«hrtl Id 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 83 

trouble of lowering a boat — he only wanted to run 
the bowsprit of our royal vessel right up to his own 
door, so that he might, without loss of time, step into 
his wife's bed-room window. 

This being the last night we are doomed to spend 
on board the British Queen, a tone of joyous hilarity 
expands among us ; mirth, smiles, and laughter, in lieu 
of frowns, and fear, and rage. It is a most delectable 
change, and I find the grave gentleman has resumed 
his seat at the little table, where, amidst the cong-ratu- 
lation of the knot of odd fellows who have set them- 
selves round him, and inspired with a goodly rummer 
of bishop, he favours us with his last *' moving tale." 



Unt i> lAlB WWT. 



CHAITKK V? 



A»!tmtum cf a fimllmyia m ^-an-ti r-f tn f-»tat*— fVtr 

« — A IIHHi * P 

I 1 1 > t . ri — Itoiaiinlt «( l(jcr lu 1 

"ToIm I liv privnlr o»iiir*u-i, p.irl of iIk* IuikU ot 
r rri". ' \lc('ii liiiiidrrtl oiitl Irn 

arn*K. two itMMlv. mul i |m-|(Ii« ». iimrr or lew, 

«l iiiHv i ill ihr i •', 

I* •• , and h|Mirtiii^ n»iiiilv \^ 

' 'Hiin n*mlii prrttv writ/* hokl 1. iliruwiiig ikiwn 
ihr * Mull ;* ** if in niorcHnrr, My liiiiUtI lliat llir IaikU 
will lie fuilil rdtmiclrrablv under ihrir r ^ - * : and 
thu(if:h I |Hrr«TiU a|;n*c* with Sir lliul iiuu, 

•Til* I ti^4iliif*s. 

la |tta b a% II will bnttC.* 

1 In 'MtiiUi ujK'ii a \nitr^ a rrul pt«l iMirpiiti, aucb 
«• (iuiiiu?«l wiicarmi mad* S il>r niiii%r» in ihr 
I »»ld liinr " \tid li " \ m\ In* ' l, 

!• I ««i(li ' ir, el i an r&lm rup of 

«• It tiiv inn 

CYrtt Ml llir UHilllh of Jiilir. ** llir Urallirr ' lllC 

mtM accurc" ill the ^intrr tahuidv tttid mardicd with 



LIFE IN THE AVESt. 85 

hasty strides to the hoase of Dennis M'Gwif^gan, soli- 
citor, and fonnd that gentleman in green slipper^; and 
])ie-balled dressing-gown, shaving himself at his black 
bureau. 

" Sit doAvn, sir,"' said he, when I entered his office ; 
*'sit down, sir. Your case must be desperate, since 
you drop in so early ; but nil despcrandum,^^ sputtered 
this limb of the law, as he plunged his face into a hirge 
basin of water, and then, turning round, like Niobe, all 
in tears, sought for a towel to hide his bluslies ; the 
towel, to use a legal term, iion est hiveniu.s, and Mr. 
M'GwJggan rang the bell furiously, till the meagre 
youth who had ushered me into the office made his 
appearance. Here a most refreshing dialogue passed 
between master and man, the latter declaring he had 
left the towel upon certain deeds and papers, and tlic 
former vowing vengeance upon his negligent and de- 
ceitful servant, ending ])y assuring him — " By the 
virtue of my oath, and as sure as my name is Dennis 
jNrOwiggan, III warm the wax in your ear, if you 
don't get me something to wipe my face while I sav 
Jack Robinson." 

" Take my praskeen, take my praskcen, till I run 
u]) to the mistress for a towel,"' cried the youth, hastily 
divesting himself of an apron, once white, which he 
threw towards his indignant master, and escaped from 
the ollice, round which the attorney moused for the 
lost towel, tossing deeds, i)apers, and parchments to 
and fro, and ever and anon directing some of his 
rambling conversation to me. 

'•' Sit still, sir— don't let me disturb you — that boy 
will be hung. I'll attend to vour case innnediatcly. 
Nothing's too hot or too heavy ^oy him. Til rive him 
a mark of my atfection one of those days, the scurvy 



86 I i . . rum wbit. 

bouod * V«*«i wi ^ril ■Miiol, (jt m 

Irtirr 

llrrr I th .jhi u ui^u uiiu i 

• I ' r i < f! \ .» I » * ' ^ « f u A* 1 

Ni ' ...kit iti>r< I llr blatbrii to 

rant •> ii< ;;<.i-)'4il Km I I 4|»r<Mi, » 

nmod I 1 .III (tr.iii^*' 

•ilk ahft U-iut L. Imi 

b«llcti clrrfl0mr-<m«i II, ejaculated *' lUi . . 

and wiihmil ; ^rr tlrUjr i'au;;lil up the m ^ 

aod rratl tlir atUcrttM^mrut lu a \nud and •(> .« 

Toiof, though 1 begged to aMmrr him 1 had aucadj 
rrad the n ' iirinrolY and wiahrd to bear the- |i«r- 
ticulaiK 

** ^ n hiindnMl and Irn ai-rc», two roods, uod 

thi ^alllc morr or Icia,** nid bt. 

** i 1 iiK'«iMirc* y »aid 1. 

1 iiiun, pUiitJitioii. ftir*** qiioch be. 

!• thr pruprrtv o|N;n '** 

•• It lu-j» in a riiip frnrr, i i tiw jsnlirtlnr 

" 1 inraii. U if lU^ ; lit . it, )uv« thr iui\i n.-rt 

a right to m-11 it : 

** Right, »ir r Mil 1 ). a Man* ; **hB\r I « 

to ftcll thin houM; 'f^ 

I Mi|ipoacd tiiat wa» Ix'^t kiiov«ii tc» himaelL 

** Wrll, ?.ir. I havr a riphi tn ^*^ll inv ntm pm. 

pern. 

1 WAk uii^'^i^ tu iu oJ li, iUi«i UiflRti till .ui\( ' 

jojrd the nune prifilcgr; 1 wag it ' <l tu ; 

obarnration froni th< that ii 

cAftif r u* lie a than •! 

title til m I I iicr, I 

ffone thniugh niaiiv >arN^. I 

but inarbaied aii « lu) tin ..uus 



•4 
•« 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 87 

of providing for nine younger children, and a widow 
into the bargain. 

" Make yourself easy on that score," said Dennis, 
" for the widow and children arc already provided for 
in this case, and my client is free as air to do what he 
likes with Ballycragmorris. The title is most unex- 
ceptionable. I have the skins under my thumb. 
The land is part of the confiscated property of the 
O'Toole. In fact, Ballvcrag-morris was the favoured 
retreat, the fastness, the stronghold, of that arch 
rebel " 

" Here's the towel, sir," said the trembling lad, 
peeping into the room. 

"D — n your towel!" thundered Dennis, indignant 
at this futile interruption to his peroration. " D — n 
your impudence !" exclaimed the man of law, hurling 
a bundle of deeds at the head of the intruder, who 
scamped oft' like a rabbit, while Dennis resumed. 
" Where was I ?" said he ; « O'Toole— the OToole, 
as I said before. D — n that boy — he provokes me. 
Indeed, I must apologize to you, sir, a stranger, 
though I flatter myself we will be better acquainted 
when you purchase Ballycragmorris. Here is the 
map. You perceive the great military road runs 
through the heart of the property ; and then, it is all in 
hand. That mark, like a brick, is the shooting lodge 
— capital shooting on the hills, you know." 

" But the arable land," said I ; " please to inform 
me how many acres of arable land. I cannot discern 
any marks or tokens of enclosure on the face of the 
map." 

'• This is an old map," said Dennis. " I admit the 
property is not very highly cultivated ; if it was, we 
would ask a larger price for it. Twenty years' pur- 



diift^ .- »»" ••frul price Ut tmc of ibr Ik • •••••uni«in 

pr^ *** ' fiitin III ^^ klcm. Mid ' "'- nm/,* 

Mua i>rtini* •»!. ' •!. i.; !«•.•• ihc 

yr 'V till mIhI %%i It Ml'* ' • 

"i 'II iiDK )i. f r It f«nnH m thif 

n in «•« .11 ry ii! 1 ii!: 

PtaiMl." 

•* Aiul uhm ^i'Titfirs .1 mrrr farm, llic ilirlv nrrre. 

ibc cT\t\is ami -..p...^.i* of ibc nibrf4 UmU 

Mmlli «»r Ki' * - . wlini rufiipnml wiili llir high Im»M 

hrjulUncU (»t i ' nugmorhN'' iaiil DtiiiiiN with a 

Miiilc« ** III r.i< I, sir, it i» iiii|HMiiblc to iwiv what thi* 

|M V lie %«(irth in the ' of aii Arli%'r rimI 

c» No, Mr," < I 

will : . , ,11 ilic- ili«>ni4 of 

• • • • 

Know, tilt II, voiin«x iiiaii, thai \oii nrr ii|hiii thr vxr of 
Imving wh.it mv clirnt (God pilv him !) b cum|K llrti 
hv the title of mUfortiine to m*II — a mine of p*!*!," 
raitl iVnnis Milling li- v »ic€ into a ilcrp whijMT, 
ami ill* i ihr t\vrX, lirforr I 

•* I <\'.' mmI I, not V to licar NK'h a 

\.\ finiii u 

*• V«Mi iii.iv HclliTv iml« » <1 r Nai»l I >< i i 

Tmir Ht4r^, niv ^r**^! ^^ir, \oii nrv im thr high nwwl to 
F«)rtiiiic'» U|i. Once in |"» /-v^t.m nf lialUt r*igiiiorri«, 

5011*11 ftiiik a !«hiift hi th« i.,,, , .tml n-ap a •/■'*■'' n 

lianrr .t. (>. if ! h.iil the money, ilie golil mine riii>ui«l 

fumictl 
• I ill 

I 

I i 



not p) 4 i • 
me, tlial t ti- 
ll. 


! P 


thai ihr 
mif^K i: 


I of iIm I 

V uti)iitimt 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 89 

Look before you leap being my new maxim, I de- 
clined making a \vritten agreement or verbal promise 
with the sapient M'Gwiggan, who nevertheless fur- 
nished me with a line of introduction to the care-taker 
of this precious farm, and further indicated the route 
in a very friendly manner. 

" Caravan to Baltinglass, and car to Ballycrag- 
morris," said he, f(jUowing me to the hall-door, on 
opening which a gust of wind rushed into the hall, 
and for the first time I perceived that the learned 
Dennis had not yet invested his nether man with the 
most indispensable parts of dress, and apropos to 
mountains and mountaineers, shewed a pair of brown 
knees to the jnibhc, and the select boarding-school 
girls who marched past the door, while an ill-sup- 
pressed tittor esca]>ed even from tlie sour-visaged 
governess, who aficcted to hide her bhishcs under a 
faded jKirasol held sideways, from that magnus 
Apollo of Mountjoy, square Dennis M'Gwiggan, soli- 
citor. 

Following thnt gentleman's advice, I started at 
twelve o'clock for Baltinglass, sui>porting the incon- 
venience and misery of being wedged into the caravan, 
a hearse-likc machine, with eleven unhaiipy bipeds, 
not including four scpiallers, held upon the knees of 
four nurses, returning from a certain respectable insti- 
tution, laden with fresh proofs of the anli-Malthusian 
spirit of the good people of Dublin. 1 bore all this, 
I say, and more than this, with tlic fortitude of Pizarro, 
or any other ancient Spaniard traversing unknown 
lands with El Dorado in his mind's eye. Ballycrag- 
morris, and Botosi as connected therewith, sustained 
mc in the midst of my woes, even when the exu- 
berant nurse on my right re([uested me " to hould 



Mrs IK TUB w 

(b» • ; ibr act lo . «onL pUrcd 

i!- t£ iMuitling in mj antiA, «« hr nmit 

iumlr% mrnt^ ill lier lui».»tiiiM -.., . qq 

p» •• ..v.. »*« dkl IH»I t«iiiii -' ! -*a]« 

till itLiii' .. 411(1 to Clf 1 KIM (ll»«|l|lu4UUU, UAiUlg 

c' ' ' i uii rrachiiif; lUv hill Ci lierv 

M'UiW|y(jBD aflMirrtl nic* 1 would f s a IraM a wcU- 
airrti K. ^ 

I ^I(|>1 (hat niahl at L ^4m*» aod »Uncd : 

inaniiug . upon an ouuidr car, 

'* telom Cttuufr dm putjk," iKiiiii^ M'Ciwiggan liad 
»pokrii alicMit ihr r/rrat iiiililarv rttaci, ajMi I fmiurnlW 
•t--'"-*l mjr ch.»....iicr in ilic iniiUt of -* MJng dr- 
siiilJiioii of a litlic aaic Ik* liad latrl^ ui(nc>«i*«l in 
C ' s I" « \i mil m1 waik 

to In: I liiiiti tt ht- liiKi iiii«»(airn liH* (hrrctjoii 

n 

" \a'\ iim* uloiic — 1 (oiiltl liiid (hr %»av hlii< 
rrplinl (lie wlii|>. ** and if VMtr h<HHMir will oidf 
look ^micht tM*rorr vntt vmril .^ , Mmirlhiiig likr • 
din\ tr rihUt.. .......;, ,iiig down the Mb of a 

liro%iii iiaihrr U-d— tliat'tt ihi* grrat niililary rtMML** 

And ill |>nMVM of liiiir wi* ' 1 up ihr hilU oo 
f« II in llw 

iniiUt ol hu \ !« Ui lug (hr rar (hnniKh 

\hm niU, IhiIca, f»i ami iiiin*. tl idi (Iht 

liigit 1. .1 M. U«NiiL Tlic 

aaprrl of liu* i-iMintr\' y^a^* nMii4 drvaiUir: lfrr» wrrr 
mil of Um* «pir«ii...., aiKl, nulwitluklaiMliiig all f'- -' 
hs» Ijrvn Miid ainl MUig alMNK ihr i^ntn hilU of l^iu, 
jfpky «irhniwn would liavr lir«ii marrr llir niari. To 
\*> , hilU liHil tl ai A i! (hr pri»» 

Yi an«l, |i)iv to .. ii^h 

the blcMigh (*l 1). 1. 1 htiAl Ul\ ni\ «gr Ur 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 91 

behindj when the shouts of the charioteer arrested my 
progress. 

'' Holloa ! stop, and come back, your honour." 

" What's the matter, my good fellow ?" said I, re- 
turning to my charioteer. 

" Why, nothing very extraordinary', " said he ; 
*• only as I heard you were going to see Ballycrag- 
morris, I thought it a ' quare' thing to see your honour 
walk through the middle of it without looking right or 
left." 

" You must be mistaken," said I ; " I understand 
there are some bouses on the property. Nay, the 
very name of the place. Bally, signifying a small town, 
supports my argument." 

" Then maybe it's joking your honour's after — to 
talk of towns up here." 

" Come, come," said I, sternly regarding a list of 
names in the locale of Ballyciaginorris ; " where is 
Doyle Street ? answer me that question. Who ever 
heard of streets, ballys, and places, in a spot like 

this?" 

" There is Doyle Street," replied my man, pointing 
to a bleak and desolate mountain ; " and, as I said 
before, this is BallvcraL-inorris ; and if vour honour 
wont believe me, ask this man walking up the road." 

The man corroborated my whip's evidence, and 
further assured me that he was the care-taker and 
herd of Ballycragmorris ; and moreover advised the 
carman to unvoke his beast, leave the car by the 
road-side, and follow said care-taker and herd, who 
would be happy to pilot us to the mountain lodge. 
Leavinir the car in the ditch, we followed the herd — 
a broad-shouldered, clean-limbed, strapping fellow, 



9f I :ii. I« 

It- m »t!lr mail,'' m 

eirrr>" r»»tintr\ fr||»i«. iiu ttiallcf ...nikifi.m 

mm) '- - ...ii tl, if Im ' •• •• (IfMJOirtl lu cl- 
Inr r«Mi ii'Hn nwifit'"" ' * ^^ < nmi oin^tn at 

ihr Ih*' ' -s, wni u \ * ' \ 

mar t ii tlll^lll itir I 

of • lirar>ini|>, «lrrr-lrw|i, i»f iii2iii>it 

■ way '■ 
lu »l 

rafi«i iMV «»f iIh iiKMiiiiiiiii l«- _ I 

IK vrrllirlcMp, Mili^t.uiliallv Iniill, »lalf il 'li/..! .■»! 
«! ..t.^l in n tiKiHi MiilJililr iiuiniirr; • In -n Mum ^ 
till ii«M*tl iIk* \an\ nt our Mtlr, hihI In*I«>w ihii» ii frebic 
allrmpc at cultivation np; -t ofa «itt 

V.llll %«||)| |v ,11(1 i'Jl\y, 

. uihI (ii'^nitit (1 \% iih the iiAiiH' 

i in a ^•nu•^^M•«l, • r\r% ! 

hilt |ii|ir ainI i^l iluwii l»v ihr fur, \ i > 

tMlli ill*- Ik nl Im view llic |>n'nib<>. i at- lirni IrtI tl»r 

wav mrnmm llir iiiotnilain to hlirw mk* the v' • • • - ' 

ami rxrry ttc|» he look M^nictl lu be nvur .uui- mi tu 
itnilatr, lill nl IahI I nillr<l a hall, in ihr mitUtof at 
ilial mI lu luivr Int-n n ill a- ' r in 

in ftM'l, V 

I.ilk of Ihc I Lif tht •• Met ti. 

** '1 arr ihr ralilr,'* Miitf tYi. h. nl |«»inlinft to 

Mtmlrj li'^ht. Kit lied omii ami i.. , , jumI wititr 

"'"•'•* ***". >^--»*U liruwiUii^ aniiiii^ llic nr*' ^ I 

jii " N^r air |iakl mi mnrh a lirail Itic '^ ! 

t .<i I li.nr lionl work to krrp llirni in U 



LIFE IN THR WEST. 93 

especiall}' the raniblers. I once followed a bit of a 
heifer to the top of Sugar-loaf, the highest mountain 
in Wicklow." 

" Sii"-ar-loaf ! what a name for a mountain !'' thou<2;ht 
I. " But, my good fello^v, where is this famous (/old 

o') 

mine f 

The herd looked askant at me over his shoulder, 
and I repeated the questicm. 

" Do YOU think you'll be able to follow me, sir?" 
said he. 

" Certainly," said I ; " lead the way to the gold 
mine directly." 

" O, very well," said the herd, very deliberately 
taking off his shoes and gaiters ; " now, sir, keep your 
eye upon me," said he, bounding from tuft to tuft, 
rock to bank, over sinking moss and rugged furze- 
brake, like an Indian, while I, filled with golden 
visions of Peru, Potosi, and El Dorado, matle exertions 
to keep up with my leader that not only surprised 
that hardy mountaineer but myself also ; it wants but 
the will to accomplisli the deed — yes, even encum- 
bered with boots and an umbrella. Hut I nuist not 
boast of my I'eats too soon. The herd at last stopped 
at the bottom of a valley, through which a small 
mountain stream threaded its way. He began looking 
about among the gravel, and taking uj) a handful of 
it, presented it to me, demanding if 1 saw anything 
like (foold in that. Of course 1 did not perceive the 
sli'ditest vestige of the i)recious metal, at the same 
time expressing a wish to follow the streamlet to its 
source. 

*' By the bones of St. Patrick that will take you 
some time, then," said the guide ; " and 3'ou must 
step out a little faster than you did a while ago." 



M UFS IX THC V 

•* ^^ : I. •• I iluMiifl.i iIk* htmi of 

ki« ' |»ni|jrl1j.'* 

•• (Kh, . to ( . 1 ibr hMd Willi • 

iaitlrfi: ** ^ ,• UMxIv knum 1I19 Umini nui br 

Uvntl up to iIm* black i .. . in ilti* bills *im1 **— '*•? 
five niilm fruiii ibu." 

Ill IJirt, I liad lirrn ffnM»lv tlrf-rivrti liv M*4 •\« i-'vmm . 
llir f(rmjiu uff^Jtl fiaiiul 111 ib<* Mn-mit mmy bavr \m 
wasbrtl fruni • milir MjiiM*wbrrr in ibr U tif ih. 

\N ^ liiuiiii' ur ibc afuit'Aaid Imii;'. 

ami a* lo biintiiiir fur n iiiim* in 

out »»f ibr wa^' ^ an linllvrm^. i ,s' ' 

ihr ^. tit proipcct wiibcail a loifli, ami n<.vr ^^ 
only incwt anxiuun to |{rt bark afcain lo Dtil. 
il wa» onlaimtl I -buiilcl iioc r«rapr frtini lium 
mafrifl srui friM'. UiUiniing id tlir iiKMinlaiii !• i.- 
\\r M«r< rttiiu'bl in a •kioriii — and micb a Mnrm ! — c « 
iliiiiiU ol nielli i gg m c U U» dt-MTiMl fr\iin llir bill t ; 

** Kun, mil. mil. »ir T ImwIchI llir b. 
•cam J •* wi 01/ an 

likr rut*. " 

Hun 1 <liil. Biul. |irnipiniig al rxrry |Min*. KH»knl 

liack al tlir tlrn^rclark rliiinl mlling nl • 'i-r- "rtmiul 

aArr v- • r bnia«i thvtU of hgblnin^ (|Ui^rii u luuiul ii«, 

unci " ^ aixin |»n>lr<'i im** rricil ibr lN*r\l, a^ be ibrrw 

biiiiM-lf n|M»n bi« (mt in ibi- bi-alb. A in-iiiriMbHin 

« l.iii nl ibiiiiib'r ntiiMik li. mv fm, aiid 

I ^^ .»•> I.uii lo lolldM ibr bri »|ilr. lK*«ii ranir 

(bi- bail and i;iiii in «ilMt*t« ; tn\ > 

in a nxiinnil ; and iIioiikIi mo \%rr\- ■ 

«lrrd \vut'% ill ibr b-l'^r. w,- «iMdd iu»l »lir till llw 

••tiinn m*b<-il «»%rr cmr im ... b<il lMidir»,atid wvcm^ilrd 

.iAit llir \uk\^v inorr drad ib:in ainr 

•* Kl Dorado. adimT 1 .nayivd, at i mnoutned 



LIFE IN THE >VEST. 95 

llic car on the road-side, and had tlie mortification to 
find the cnshions wet as the recent storm could make 
them. " Farewell, Potosi ; catch me treasure-scekins: 
again!" said I, digging the hail-stones out of the pockets 
of my pea-jacket, and relieving my hoots of the super- 
ahundant bog mould with a slate. 

" You have had a hard day's work of it," said the 
driver ; " but there's one satisfaction." 

" And what's that?" said I. 

" Why we have the fall of the hill with us, going 
home ; and that's what I call satisfaction," said he, 
chirru])ping to his hack, and urging him into a gallop 
down the execrable road, over which we rattled at the 
risk of our necks, towards the pretty little town of 
Baltinglass once more. 



Having made a short and agreeable tour in the 
county Wicklow, and admired everything worthy of 
admiration, I returned leisurely towards the citv. in- 
deed, my car-man, whose services and equi})age I had 

secured at per diem, seemed to regard our final 

separation (which was to take place in Dublin) with 
horror ; he endeavoured to beguile me to the moun- 
tains again ; then, finding I was obstinately bent on 
proceeding to Dublin, he volunteered to remain with 
me while I stayed in that city, and afterwards " drass 
me round Ireland" upon his car. Indeed, the poor 
fellow seemed to have had (juite enough of the charms 
of Baltinglass, which he did not scruple to denounce 
as a " beggarly hole." 

"What the devil are they looking for?" said my 
charioteer, as we descended from the Dublin moun- 
tains at a quick pace. " What can they have lost ?" 
he exclaimed, pointing down the slope of a hill. 



M LIFK Pt Tint WWT. 

•In liaifw. n, 

i ntt »ji»| tliiwn iIm* %.illrv ami liil. \i- 

iUiillv «4 . ...i^ far •omrlhiitt* with tiiiirh rnn» 
" ir%-:r liiHtmir %iill l»«*l«l llic n-ins i i* 
.,..!. kin! iIm V liarr l«»^l/ •aUI MalUivmct, i 

• • • 

! oir iIm* rnr, ' ■ %%illi run***;' « i 

•itti l|4>t I 

l<r.ii»r«- ol thr II %%Uirii Im* tiati ImI 

'i*fii, I'liMinff a lanii-lHMiM*, I \im\ mtii 

'in iIm* l*a«iii or >anl iit 
of lilt* Immim* ; iIm* luocnriit Mnllowiit y licanl iiic |iniiM* 
the hornr, Im* saiil he wan mirr aiMl c-t-rtniii llir laniM-r 
\«o«il«l Im* \t*ry lui|>|>v lo wH ii. Sii|>tMMiiH< mkIi Iu l«r 
tl»r ia4*l, I |M*niiill(*<l liiiii to iti<|iiin* tlir |inrr cif tlir 

'•I tll«t\%ii«-v S4M>n fiMiiul (Iu* r.innrr. ntitl ■* . «ii/ Iniii 
in tli*rp > 1 1 ilw* ni.in. 1 dnnc nn (|i. 

an I IumI not iIm* • ii <il rnrtiml 

ni3rM*ir \%ilh nn :. ^nal A t- 

••houl, fiilloMitl liv n liiiiiuliiioiM mum*, iuhmi i 
IIM* lo |Nill ii|i, ami |(*i>iii><' liarL, 1 lirlM*lil Mall<>^<^n< . 
rufkliiii}; aArr nic at iuu ->|m*c«I, miiiits lii^ hni, .M.a 
bloucl ii|MKi lii't rlicrk, while lli«* famN*r niiti ihiti 
men with niickN |iiin>iif«l him ftir a short iliHieui««. 
bc>- like lii*«llAiiiiii*«, W <nn\ |iini|it-il 

ii|M»ii iIm* car, ami !»- into a ; 

It %i;i« »M»iiM* linn* U 1 i .. >'. .ni i.. 

nii«ha|» — it M*rllMnl In liir In l*r 
liail Iw «tin hv aiikin(( thr l.trnirr ^uniln kii« 
i|ii* ' alMMit his h«»r»«- >•"" "^1 hewas?— h> \^ 

luii^ iui fannrr hail Ijrrtt " nu mu^rr AiMlrmhtl I - 
%aiyiiii^r l»«^ h^ oner a l»on»r thr wry |>icturr of ihi i ur 
ill t ilml it h<Ml ' r'UiHeu '' Kiiii. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 97 

This roundabout way of ascertaining tho horse's ])rice 
roused the farmer's honest indignation. He told Mal- 
lowney the horse was born and reared upon his own 
ground, as every man in the parish could swear. An 
altercation ensued — Mallowney raised his whip, the 
farmer's sons rushed to his help, and my charioteer 
narrowly escaped being well thrashed for his temerity ; 
as it was, he received a thump in the face and lost his 
hat. But revenons a nos mot/ions. 

" No, Mr. Mallowney," said I, " mind your equi- 
page while I otfer my assistance to those gentlemen 
seekers." 

No sooner had I entered the field than one of the 
aforesaid men assumed his perpendicular; he was a 
big-boned, awkward-looking gentleman, turned fifty, 
dressed in seedy black ; he stood up, and waving one 
hand in the air in a very triumphant manner, raised a 
small tin tube or penny trumpet with the other, and 
inflating his cheeks, he blew a blast through the penny 
trumpet that might have been mistaken for the goat- 
like bleating of a jack-snipe, poised in mid air, over 
a wild heath on a hot summer's day. I had hardly 
recovered from the surprise into which the solemn 
trumpeter and his trumpet had thrown me, when all 
the rest came scampering towards the trumpeter, who 
still continued to sound the charge till the stragglers 
came in, and a gallant band of grave and some gay- 
looking men rallied round him. 

" Brethren and fellow-labourers, friends and lovers," 
said the solenni trumpeter, looking roinid him, and 
then pointing to his feet, " I hasten to introduce a 
rare Hycoperdon to your notice — same time, another 
of the Lychen famil^^ — both belonging to the class 

F 



90 lint IX Tiir i^farr. 

( iramui* of our tilBiiniii<«i and 

Bv ilu4 limit tbr atlmiion ;bim «m <U- 

rrrirtl to rnvtrlf, mnd cib«rrriiiff this I voitkl haw 
rHirvd, Uil llir frvv«i iniiti|irtrr aclranr^* ''»wanU me 
with rvlriulrfl IuumI 

• ^' IV "IN i»tHMl Mr, tl voii ar« fur kin»%»- 

li to irlean — " 

1 < (1 to . ' iIh* - tinin> a— mil 

him I had not ; .f <»f hi- *\ '•— niT 

comtntr smnnif thnn wa«« |»iin'l\ . .Mttrh 

at 1 ........;' i.inv as fi — 

"lie Ailniirt'^ liolain, iii> frirmlii *** rxcUimcd the 
inim|w*lrr. 

** B* ••",>' vcrai \«.in V 

1 rr|»hr<l that I rrrtaitilv hml nttiiiilcd want bo- 
tit the 
1( r "till ' U|»nn the of m \rmt\ { ilr»- 
painnl (if ever ^ !(»}» had 
given up the |Hir»uii- ii"t Jiriiii? !jlr«i«rd t^ifh |irr«i»- 
renuicr ami |Milit*iici . 

•* But if vini atlendrtl our Ie<*lui» •» a liv^h- 

lui>Liti.r. *««iiguiiH* vtHiih. ** AJid hrnni t) »- 

feuMjr. the* d«M*l(ir. irho, niiiipU* n« hi (h 

a httlr till tr I in I 

•• i i thf 'WMJiy 

tlir I4*al <»f i ^ «l if 1 am an htrh 

of no rotnmnn trruMih, I , •! in thr oiinohiiM* u( 

(|j,rf. lallier Irl niV M-n-iti\i fw r»rt n rml. 

ahiiiif^. ^MiiiT in the Ahadr. thaii- 

Tiioile - tiw 'V io<>-i(M»-io-ia, hieaird « tiuiu)Ti 
HI liie cnnif r <*i a uckL 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 99 

" Hello— hello ! what hast thou found ?" exclaiiued 
the doctor, rushing towards the fresh trumpeter, while 
the brethren followed their leader across the fields as 
fast as they could scamper. 

I brought up the rear, and began to enter into the 
spirit of the thing. 

" One fool mal<es many. 

But (he old fool's worse tliun any," 

saith the proverb ; not that I mean to say it is at all 
applicable to the learned doctor, who wiped the per- 
spiration from his brow, as he mildly rebuked a Icng- 
faced wag called Sweet Scabious, for sounding the 
alarm over a mere leontodon, vulgarly called dande- 
lion, or . 

I now discovered that every man was possessed of a 
tin trumpet, which it was his duty to sound whenever 
he discovered a rare plant, herb, or weed ; and, more- 
over, each member of the society rejoiced in some 
botanical nuni dc guerre. I was introduced to Mr. 
Secretary Sinapis, Messrs. Fumaria, Marrubrium, Pa- 
paver, Boletus, Plantago, and all the rest of the wor- 
shipful company ; who one and all insisted I should 
stay and partake of an humble repast which they ]>ur- 
poscd to enjoy (d fresco upon the grass, beside a 
brav\'ling stream ; and the labours of the day being 
declared at an end, each man shouldered his herbal, 
slung liis trumpet behind him, and hastened to the 
spot where sundry hampers, baskets, jars, and bottles 
were piled. Two carmen were busily employed ar- 
ranging some plates, knives, forks, and tea-cups, upon 
a level bit of ground, close to the ravine through which 
the aforesaid streamlet babbled ; and the contents of 
the hampers and baskets being turned out rather un- 

f2 



100 UPS IX rnr. «i»t. 

K-wnonitm^y, m rmpiul : it 

tif nmntnir clown tlw ilo|M*, and |iiiMnu i n iu tUira^ 
...:• th«* wairr, fnicu «iliirh. bowrrrr, it wnt 
«|.i.«iki^ •' ' ' u|> aieain ; ami ba^iiifc mrrriT |iickrd 
up an AiiuiUiiCial inMoninK uf tliuniB and gnivrl, il 
<icrypiad iu origiMd plncr at ihc /Mr WUn^Htf^rr, and 
fbrnirtl a capital / /< rr«Ml4; haaa, Uwnw, 

i^s piK* taiilris vanitbrd in 

4i?*tM** «|UM*k liiiM- iM-iorr iIm* htiit|{n boianiila; v 
tlir i|oirk ajmI nilliti^ fm- of thi* oiri« (t\mu long and 
•bort i»<il«tl 1m*ii1«*^ )»ru\i«l tluil llir niirirtT wcfv noC 
lra>lutallrrs ihoiif<h tlirv drank (hiI of U-a-cu|« — ibr 
cup or caivx bt*iii|^ inorr rlaNUcal tiiid Iraa liablr tu br 
broken iban fcbna; m-vcnil luaaU and M-niinirnt« brinf( 
dninl with all ilir lionoiins my friend ibe doctor* 
wbo» ' Mralctl ii|M»n a liaKkrl an ; lent, fillrd 

iIm* bniket with ^n-at dignity < ' nt, trui|M-ri*d 

with tin* genial nfiahihty (if a ' i!.. ; t< m* 

drat, I MV. rtM> anil propoard a hri...:i..i',^ mi 

to tiM* iM-alth t»f (Mir intr«i. paaring a vrry uithM iiini 
rnconiiuni u|iun a wai^^.i ..n\i diM-iiUr «»f Uiiiianaii, m 
br wan pl4*aiiril tu call my unwurihy w^** 1 f{ul u|kni 
ni\ Ifl^ Iu rt'tuni ihankn, ainl wai nTtixm with llirrr 
dafCiiict < ' Hy lh<* way, thi« Kdiin^ u|ion («iir*ii 

Icnia • nuittcr «•! u )i ra»y |Mrfi»nnan<v, llial v a 

■um W iiMliir<r«l to do Ml, and U in^ u|iun ! j^ 

Willi tliAt Iu* wan off thi ni a|(.t titYu^- to »«%-, altrr 

luoking Uke a ftiol tt»r tlir n«nal tiuic. oianir 
talkinfc ill tbr utntnl ttirt»lirn'nl ««n\ I hrukc down in 
a urhlr |Mimiih« . uhI <!%•«•' ti .. « d tu And rnvM-lf 
u|»on llir hitUaji .»oti morr, 'aintt^^ ^ iM^rn 

I ' thK(ntit> III , .iimI an al jnigiing of 

I iiui 4l ui ' iMttbriB 

t I. Mrrr Idkd witb 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 101 

apt quotations, pithy remarks, and adorned with a 
superfluity of flowers, roots, leaves, branches, and 
technical terms, used upon such occasions by bota- 
nists. Songs were sung, and Acrostichum being 
loudly called for, a sentimental swain, with some 
dwarf ferns in his hatband, declared he was not in 
voice, nor yet in mirthful mood. 

" No matter ; you must sing or pay the penalty," 
roared a dozen voices ; while the youth, seeing the 
impossibility of resistance, sang the following words 
to a well-known Irish air, assisted by four of the 
brethren, who joined in the chorus : — 

SONG OF Tin: BEE. 

I biiig the song of the liuuible bee. 

Who, with Aurora rising, 
Unfolds her wings right merrilie, 

And goes out botanizing. 
Away, away o'er brake and brae, 

O'er woodland, hill, and hollow; 
To wui the lirst bright flower of May, 

Who'll follow— follow— follow ? 

CIIOllUS. 

And here's a health to the humble bee, 
And soon may she fill her bag, sir — 

Success to the sons of botany, 
And every comical wag, sir. 

In hawthorn bush we'll wake the thrush, 

Our fairy bugles sounding ; 
In ferny dells touch wild heath-bells, 

And set the red deer bounding. 
And we'll pass by ea(;li gay catcli-fly. 

To where the blushing roses 
Tenfold to view the mountaij) dew. 

In which we'll dip our noses. 

CHORUS. 

And here's a health to the humble bee, &c. 



lot urm tyt mm watr. 

At U*iU UsMnM wwiim. 
Aad ait ' «ift«k 

•'• <■ calcli far oar |kiini 2 lunbtfo. 

A: • A A boMb lo UK luiAtik bat, kc 

V- thr or ihb lutfiiMiiiouft ioiig 

quavered upon mir rar^. the wrlromc •tiatn of the 
htinliiig clioni* in Drr FniH-hnli rhrrrrd mir Mnkiiif; 
spirits mimI, lifting up our hrmK «c |irrrt>iTr(l iicrcnil 
p*ntlrnicn in Mark wrnding thrir waj clown the fclm, 
•onie ■ingiii^. and oiIh r* f»r.i(inf^ titiir ii|K>n the mrk» 
md Btunf*, rm pntmmt^ ^ ith their Immiorr^ SuiKlrr 
I ic winkji wrrr exchanged l»v the liotaniM> \«hrn 

i> • j.u' . on ihr ttpfMiaite ndc of the ravine haltr<i, 
ami ttr;;»n to h«>IU mit — 

'* \Mio are vc, hal<ltn{r c»n hv ihr f*miinf? tn Lrrn 
voiirvlve!« fnim falling 

•• 'Hic Dublin Huval BoUuual .Nxictv." r =. U 

tnv |winy. with one TOtee. 

" (> 31'e mart — y^ Nehueh.i<inr// mtet^vr wolrrt 
ii Hiking ii» ' :r wiih iIh- InniMitit 

ye .1 r." 

" Antl \%ho are y% who talk no h^ and UkA, ho 
lii(l< r" rtiarrd oitr potent p r wtd e ir \t^ frmn thr 
baakrt. like aiiuiiicr Telanion Ajax. 

" ^^' arr the Koyal Ihihlin <tr '--tral fvirtelj, 
ri tuuK!!^ in triumph fn>m ihr hiH . i> <{w>n<lr«| otir 
ania|tntuf>if>, 

dooinrtl tu grovel ni ihr (ni>( «i tin < li 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 103 

our champion, " hide your diminished heads, while we 
bask in the sunshine, and riot upon beds of flowers." 

" Go home, go home with ye, ye weed-diggers — 
ye bluebottles and unclean flies, clapping your 
disastrous feet upon the fliirest flowers, and nipping 
vefTctation in the bud like locusts!" screamed a thin, 
wiry little man, in reply to our last: but ere our 
champion could reply. Sweet Scabious, starting up, 
requested permission to answer that scurrilous atom in 
his own lingo, and the parol being granted — 

" Hello, ye skinflints — answer me, ye marble- 
crackers. After all your delving in the * bowels of 
the harmless earth,' what have ye found to comfort 
the mind of man ? and arc ye not plunged into the 
quagmires of doubt, into which ye would fain drag 
the unwary passenger who cxtcndeth his hand to 
relieve ye ?" 

" Silence, ye chuckle-heads — yc ignoramuses, 
standing for ever between your bundle of weeds, 
without strength of mind sufficient to turn right or 
left," retorted <nir opponents. " Ay, if ye were 
thrown, one and all, upon a desolate island, yc could 
not discriminate cabbages from scutchgrass. 

" Desolate islands produce not cabbages," thundered 
our president, " and thus ye pubhsh your imbecile, 
futile, and groundless assertions to the world." 

" Pounded ! pounded ! pounded !" bellowed our 
parly ; while the geniuses on the opposite side being, 
like ourselves, Bacchl pleni, were filled with such zeal 
for the cause, that they would fain have crossed the 
stream, and renewed the battle at close quarters. 
Our party were also well inclined to charge the foe, 
and fortunately the brawling stream still separated 
the belligerents, who seemed to have a very whole- 



l<^ U9m m rut, wnfr. 



dfrail i>t rt»U\ - '\1 n r r o Mo d i of HlUl 

I' . . iiciniii lu lirruk ihrir 

^ . c i^rtNiiicl, kii(Kkiitgi|iaHui out df 

li >!!ۥ liilh ibrir luuntiicrm mkI kicking up the 

<liii»t €Hi rvrnr tide lik« ^larKMts lum-cau: while 

^- I Ttmui my fmity, uiuu up tmr tin Ininip i*, and 
unit ucic ctNiariit urtit furth Mirh a ctmibilMMiuft of 
Nttil-rriNiit)^ MMiridis ! 4 nil uur :i- 

I' '11 in our long Uart« 

which the gruiogtsu, haling no it tji lu mum 

*'hUM fur hla»l,** wrrr rillicr unahlr or iinwilhng to 
hear, aiul phiiigin^ their fingen iiilo ilirir cars ik^ 
abanclooetl their |MRaiion, antl nuiclr a hasty and io* 
glorious rrtrcat down llic vallc). 'Ilic rfriiing waa 
fiir aih-ancr«l, wlicn ncvrral canneii, wIhi had noC been 
inallnitivr oWricni of what was i- forwanl, 

li ' lluit wrc had lictlcr think tif Ix. up mir 

ri • .il ciiirrtaJiHiicnt ; niMl «• S 

II. wcrr Ij I lu 

a lonj; nii . iiilinfTH^nr*. inv own .. ^ ihe 

mt, drawn up Uy the nux. ih-, uml wc wrrr Mxm 
aralr<l u|)on our j'wj^' - nml ^allf»pin^ riglil uirrrilj 
lowanlft llir i»rlro|K>iiv Wv Umi harrlv rude a mile 
wh<ii wc overtook atiociKr Mnng of mitKulc cars, cun- 
%• the dincoinfilcd grulogicaj!* fnMii th« m-ciic of 

action. And now U>Ktin a ■rrnr which I own I an 
li to til . , not Uiiig p o w nim ctl of the rrady 

|»'n iif« Wn glaiMTtl llimogb ihe 

cl «hi«t thai MiTRNinih-it mir cars and ihuixtrrn 

ofa|i)4aii«r rmc hkr l^>' >«hilati<Hi of lH»tile I' 
U|iuii running aloctpiich ..; . ,h h «Khrr. i hit cliariotrt r^ 
liad caught up a iiltic of the tpiht of llw dmy ; tiicrr 



LIFE IN THE AVEST. 105 

was opposition and hostility in their movements — 
" the devil take the hindmost" was the cry, and away 
we went at full speed, racing jaunting-car against 
jaunting-car. Woe w^orth the day to the luckless 
goose, hen, pig, or dog, that crossed our reckless 
course ! 

" Take care of your limestone," hollaed the presi- 
dent's whip, as the step of his car hrushed close to the 
knees of the four geologists. 

" Turnip, turnip, turno I" hawled one of the geolo- 
gical carmen, as he succeeded in turning one of our 
cars into a ditch. 

" Freestone, rotten stone," echoed one of our jarvies, 
having performed a like neighbourly office. 

The Dublin cries were duly bawled by the cha- 
rioteers, as they passed and repassed each other. 

" There goes my herbal," bawled one of the bo- 
tanists. 

" ni pick it up," cried one of the hostile carmen in 
our w^akc, guiding his wheel neatly over the leather 
case, wdiilc our charioteer, in like manner, helped to 
macadamize the road with the bag of specimens which 
had fallen from the geologist en avant. 

" There goes my liammer," cried one. 

" And my hat," cried another. 

" And my cloak," roared a third. 

" Never mind," screamed a fourth ; " depend upon 

it, they 

" Will soon be here, 

They are upon the road." 

And more than hats and wigs were presently spilt 
upon the road, when we entered Duljlin pell-mell, and 
encountered a royal mail-coach, galloping out of town 
as fast as our royal (society) cars where whirling into it. 

F 3 



int; UPS IV rue wur. 



iKittMd «MM of onr farqr* m 
Iht iMdiiif ov-lcMd (iT gMilogMU «mC mmIi ^um 
llw wbedi of \ht uuuL 

- 8booc tbtm far faninf . fnianl.** bawkd die omII. 
MidHnm, m 1m polM up hi* iiu» tad lookr«l 6own 
upoo the titShi of the fim jauniing-car, aiici boptleti 
•late of the meaod. which had only hcen uptrl upoo 
dif MraL 

The ditooiii6tC(l u* niKinrn wdvipwdilTrxthcalcd, 
ftil partiei viciiig lo lend ihcM — ri^Mirr m thii cmrr- 
^■•i N It i»as nou citj oi ff rd iliAi ih« gwt fpMi cd 
had cfcapcd ioo«i miraculouftlv with lorrrlv a icw 

I waft, mofeovvr, rviotccti to fcc ilic Utr helligereoi 
parties cordiaily hliakc haoda, and con'*r-*'iUtr r - ** 
other upon ihrir talr rrtiim frooi thr iK-nuk and Oau- 
gtft which hrviri ihem iu their rtcciil rampaif^, and 
unite in r ^ n Innd laugh whan the mail coach- 

■an pithily obamrcd, a* he • tS — 

" Wrll, ii'i ail okl MiTing and a true one. * (kxI 
take* care of drunken men ainl rl> 

Here I took leare of inv hrtspitaUe entetlainafa; 
and liaving decliocrd a wanii iiivitatiun lo sup with 
them in fw>me rlasair corner of Trinity (^olleire, ralletl 
Botany Ray. I reiuntetl to niy hotel to diram alimit 
mm! landfi" totally unrtHinrtttd with. aikI if^ • 
lamed lo he free from mint"*, niiiu rala. \.\ \it>rm\u. 
I' .^fJlh' «ieh Ui>t not le«»i. 

frntn ihr • Uff atHJ i»i P ^!'( tuippaii. 

, or tt 



Our letter of run|(raiulalicm to ilic captain ha^ liem 
irad« aii<l lir lu»k rrtiinied ihankn in a neat ami a|i|iri»- 
pdaln spaodi; hofm ho umy aiwajra meet with andi 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 107 

agreeable passengers — thanks us for our forbearance 
— compliments us upon our fortitude — hopes we may 
all meet again, (in a better world, I suppose.) Three 
cheers, and one cheer more for the captain, proposed 
as usual by the Baltimore lawyer, whose zeal vents 
itself in whooping and holloaing at the termination of 
every momentous affair like the present; indeed he 
relates an anecdote of himself very naively, of the 
misery he endured when on a visit with a very quiet 
and pious family, who spoke in sotto voce and whispers, 
till he could contain himself no longer, and requested 
the master of the house to shew him into an empty 
room or garret, in which he might halloo out and re- 
lieve his pent-up soul. 

Off Sandy Hook, burning blue lights, sending up 
rockets, firing the gun, till the pilot in his splendid 
cutter runs alongside, and comes aboard. This slim 
dandified pilot serves us out like the blue-nose, runs 
the Queen on a shoal, and here we stick fast for the 
night, till the next tide serves. In reply to the cap- 
tain's angry remonstrance, the pilot coolly answered, 
our situation wiis not singular, same time pointed to 
a large three-masted vessel run aground by a pilot not 
very far from us. Fortunately it is a fine starlight 
night, and we may turn in with all safety. 

Roused from our slumbers at an early hour this 
morning, huddle on our pea-jackets, and find, to our 
inexpressible dehght, wc are close to New York, and 
in five minutes our gallant ship is moored to a wharf 
opposite a large gloomy building, called the Tobacco 
Inspection. Thus, after a voyage of twenty-five days, 
during which we experienced one of the severest 
storms ever witnessed by the oldest sailor on board 
our steamer, and in the inidsL of which wc were more 



loa >. in rum 

Umd oner roHiog ai ibe mcrnr of the «a\c«^ 
tiering our cripplccl condiiton in tbr niuUi of llie 
AiUiiiic, %ir mjiv cofiftNlrr «Mir U «-, m 

(ir uf New York, liitlr »bort of a miiarlp. 

Atiil DOW the udiolM and lialcful buflle of laiM^ni* 
hripiii. 'Vhe ptwt-oAicr aprni, a bcavj nrrll, I-**.. - 
chaq^ of ibc letter bagt with great |wtnip and rintim- 
Manet, haitena to cury *■ o^horr, Imh lie b bniiigbt 
up all •standing hy (Cttniar^ of Lil- *> a dirty 
•wag iw, who alanda in the gangwav with a 

eudgri, thr vrrv inr.irnation of n vulgar Irwh pifr- 
driver, lie icIU (he man of K (ti-m to Mand l> 
hwean* he has charge of the ahip; in fact, he i^ a low 
tide-waiter, i*onnei*tetl with the etutom hmiM*. Hut 
the agent mvk he in an olficrr, and ia determined to 
lami tlie mail a. 

** And Miniii I ;ui othter! rrtort» tlie (»(her, " and 
a Mi|wnor nflui r, >ou M*e, for III not |*ennit a tmb* 
aitkrrm like vou to lanti out of thin ycatI. Tu-h me-— 
puiih me ! do^it'a all 1 want.** 

I rttw hitii u\ei ; 1 !* >ait| a Voice. 

I ' , <T itwell va|iour\Hl up to the tide waiter, 

and emleavoured to bull} him, IhU it woiikl ii<H dow 

*' You think votrrc a great man,** nud the tide- 
^^uiter, becatac you luive a hit of lace oo jrour cap, 
ami have vmir blue fnM'k mat bt d up to \ 

throat Armh, m.« . I V:.\^ n <ir tatiuT U*f«irr jou 
wirr Ixini — a lal ig nuui \\\ \ t aieeW a, 

I laughter ;) and 1 km*w vt»ur mother too, an dr- 
(Tilt a woman m ever wa»li<*tl a Itaaket of |ioCaloe» in 
the lUmrrv. You think vrrv little of tne! Oh. I'm 
not dretaetl out for ct>m|Mny — 1 don't want to -i> -w 
cHT before the foreignerK** And thiia did tin t 
waiter Gootinue to abuK>, imult, gall, and hanm 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 109 

poor agent or officer, till the custom-house officer came 
on board, and permitted the mails to be landed. The 
examination of our baggao-e was a mere form, com- 
pared with the ransacking and searching I have wit- 
nessed elsewhere ; and forthwith w^e transfer our bag- 
gage to the jarvies, rush ashore, and rattle merrily 
over the stones, in cabs, coaches, and bugg}^ wagons, 
to the crowded doors of the Broadway hotels. 



no urt 1% ms wBvr. 



CHAPTER ML 



New YoHl boldi ~ BnM4»«)~TW pWMM^ opMnm— P«l\ 




fat ilw bi« pfiMdiM — Fcn^ 
JoIm e# iIm isi, aad iW orw bndifTooa. 



It hat hren ertr and are my rame«t dcixii tu ^.ub 
ibroagh thr highwarn of lifr c] \viihoui ibe 

Itbcm, ' I oftr 111 uliirli ihe 

prr«icr p > of ihi- tniTriir ic nrrm lo de- 

light A' • \' H ^ rk. I . t \»ith« fellow 

TOTigriir ik^ I" ibr |»i iliiv of ^ ^ mio a quiet 
hoiwr ; lir • my tirw at otwt\ in wril ac- 

qiiaiiac<l i»ilh thr liruocUiiy hoirU, aixl I gUdlf 
fc>llow in hi* wakr, ainl wr niakr cHir |Niblic rr-'-v 
ihmni^h Rruadway, aiKl all the fiiM* riolhr*, brigut 
eyes, ^> . gay, gravr, and t\t \\ fmv» o( thr 

New ^ «>rkrnk. 

" 'll\v\ at " ^al«l i; 

Mr. V. I 

br I t n* I I f|o. will not ppfmii 

ibr C-Afriagr lo , ^ ..acl wr nrr rt 

down al If... I. Ai iit*t 1 tbuit^... 

bad mailr a nn-i,i*%< , and bad tlriirrn lu ibr tUiur» ui a 
mrrtiiig iMMiw or runvrnli« h ; Uil llir bUrk wailrri 
inwliitrj^ul 1 «Hir baggage, fficcdily 



LIFE IN THE WEST. Ill 

undeceived me, while my companion elbowed his way 
through the dense crowd of gentlemen in black, sit- 
ting and standino; about the doors, in the hall, in the 
porch, up to an elevated desk, upon which we found 
a large dirty book, flanked with pens and ink bottles, 
entered our names, and Yellowley was hailed directly 
by some old familiar faces, and again and again did he 
repeat, pro bono publico, the story of our hair-breadth 
'scapes and the perils and dangers of our voyage. The 
curiosity of the crowd being somewhat appeased, we 
are permitted to clamber after our baggage, up to the 
top of the house, and enjoy the tranquillity of a garret. 
If this be Mr. Yellowley's quiet house, thought 1, what 
must the hotels down South be. 

We dine at half-past one, the boarders being sum- 
moned by the roar of a huge gong. Up^^ards of one 
hundred men, women, and children, sit down to soup, 
with a regiment of black waiters drawn up in firm 
array behind our chairs. The blacks perform their 
evolutions with mechanical precision — thus, fifty 
dishes are set down on the tabic with a loud clank — 
again fifty covers are whipped off, and the dinner 
proceeds amidst an awful clatter of knives and forks ; 
every man, working away with resolution and haste, 
fills and empties his plate, regardless of his neighbour's 
wants. " Help yourself^ and your friends will like you 
the better," is the motto here ; a truce to conversation, 
also, while the all important business of eating is being 
gone through. Very little wine was drank, and when- 
ever a man filled his skin, he rose up from the table 
and retreated down to the bar, there lounged about, 
smoking cigars, sipping brandy and water, chewing 
tobacco, glancing at the newspapers fastened on desks 
in the reading rooms, or seated close to door or win- 



lis i.ni: i.\ TiiK 

(lo«r» Marmg at tlw p— rnt; r» in ibe fCnrcL There 
Ua rr^tlftmntm, ma tiiirai% liiftiiif? uf poMlitiCts • mjcI 
of|- , mI iiioiion aboat ibc di< *iipM miiIi ao 
anxiouii opw wion uf luuntmaocr, and ftrnrr frowning 
bfofru bcnl u|Mjn atran^nk, uiiub tlor» ncrt makr a very 
agrrral>lc iroprranon u|iun niv mind, cvefi llioiigli I 
am prr|»Arr<l lo admire iIm- Americana. 

•• Yo«i miixt not jikIj^ Mf t what tmi >re here,* 

Bii'l ^lr. Yelloi»|«\. '-riir Nrw V are all men 

of l)«i III .•>, tlirv iirv V nf the %«(iH<l <i mtift 

go SniUi atnl Wvbl lu »ee the geiiuiiie Ainencan in 
hb Inie ti»lotir>.** 

Stroll up and down the Mninv side urBfoadwaT«- 
meet wveral of mir Ute fellow naw we ng era, all in rap- 
tures with the ftplendid weather, frood arcommodniKHi, 
l>e«ul> of tin- Imlie?*, ainl inlrV •<• of the men of New 
York. I in ver »»iiw f*u«h tr.iii>|Mn iit ei»iii|'* i*, ^aid 

one — liueh hnlliniit evt^, ii(>(li<-r - >ueii leet and 

n! Hiu li hu — mi ttm rrt*Hr, Hiil Mr. 

Ycllowlrv and his diarrcet . ; not to mach en* 

m 

raptun*d a5 the rr»t. 

** 1 M-e nothing natural in the gait, in tlie walk of 
those latlies** said the dignificil planter, looking up 
and down the |iave at the glittering rankn of fair 
l.( * nliiwly sailing tiefon* the More windows, lo are 
ami to lie neeiu " The cmIiouh eutliMn uf wearing pan- 
tahion s 

•• Tantaht^. I ! r, Mr. Yellow lev,* said I. 

** Will, then, |MntaletJ(. 1 1ia\«' no ob^ertion." 
coniinueti he, ** to tee little giris— children. di»|iotting 
upon green lawns nnd soUit, -^^ -r |>aniiil«t^ — Init 
look tl • - At, lirhold tlial tti.« x.k \v matron dmaicd 
like a i .«n«. ( a la wa«p or a U INvehe 

rr flowcns her : her cbaioty ber flouneed 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 113 

pantalets. I ask you, sir, what can that old woman 
mean by affecting such infantine simplicity, twirling 
a parasol not bigger than a supper plate before her 
mahogany features?'' 

" You are severe, Mr. Yellowley," said I. 

" I am determined to be so," said that gentleman ; 
" I am resolved to discountenance every thing of the 
sort." 

Placards at every corner inform us that a lady will 
be magnetized this eveniu"; at PeeFs Museum, admis- 
sion twenty-five cents only ; and at eight o'clock we 
march into the Museum, and admire a fusty collection 
of stuffed beasts, birds, and fishes, and a live tiger-cat, 
more playful than pleasant, till the learned doctor 
arrives, and is recognised as an old acquaintance by 
one of our party. 

*' Why, G ," exclaimed our friend, addressing 

the doctor by a name not to be found in the affiche or 
progranune— " why, G , haven't we met before ?" 

" Very likely, sir," said the doctor, drily, arranging 
his spectacles ; " as a public lecturer and professional 
man, I meet with fresh faces every day." 

" Why, hang it, doctor, don't you remember me, 

BqI) y J your old comrade down South? But how 

comes it to pass you look so much older than I do ? 
Why, man, you are as grey as a badger." 

" I think, sir," retorted the doctor, " your comrade 
down South was a few years younger than I am," cut- 
ting the dialogue short by informing us that the ladt/ 
was waiting in the theatre, a convenient lecture room, 
uhich was soon filled with ladies and gentlemen 
anxious to witness the performance. The lady soon 
slipped from behind a red curtain, and made a side- 
long inclination towards the company, while the gallant 



U4 urK IX' THi «rK#r. 

I adjuMaci. lirr IicmI U I. mnm 

iMHIgtflfK clown, li' >t III A I; 

wa* A ime, . _ u* ibirfy. 

llir iKjiiur iiow L... ... . ^^ .. ;.. u|vci ibe 

ibnifT Mid practice of anioiaJ nuit" ' ' -- dcclarr* br 
b milv a vciuiig )M*«r' r hiniKil, ^^ "ttr |«u* 

eocr, turn* ii|> ilir < uitt ol ) >.tl, aumI ^ to mofk 
in a mapterlv in >g (l«mn ihr miicaccm 

laiK in iIh> rhair with tiuih hainls friKii ilir rruwn of 
hrr bead tluwnwnnU, luwanU tbe lip uf lirr (iii|(rf«, 
wbilr «r look on «h ^mve M • li mice, and f wea tm 
• decetil nitencr. Tlir I)ui*tor, |initMtt(r in hi* liibuur, 
aftix liic \m\y bow »bc fcrlN and k « « .. .1^ no rr|4jr, be 
Mr|ip» forwanl on the Magr, and dcrlam ahc i* now in 
llir ma^^tirtio iitate. A black board i» net up ai aac 
Mdr of the ilagr, and tlie iKidnr iT<|iicala anv lativ or 
grnllrman prmrnt lo utritr aii% <piciaioti and i^iin- 
■MHid lben*«Hi with • mark llir rr«4dl — baJf 

a doaen young oien i*tvinf( fbrwanl, and wr liave 
nrrrral (|iir*tioiia and 1 ^oda written ou Uic l>oafd« 

and niblicd out afcaiii, bcforr liu; l>ocU*r b aaliafied. 
•• il iii hrr io rnUf hrr rufhi oran,**— ibr Doctor alowlj 
raiaca bb rif^i mnn lirhiiid the alee|Miig brauiv. and 
•be raaaca Imt nicbt ann abo ; and ber ann bring one* 
in tbe iiir, i\u IKhMut dceUrea alie baa no |toMrr lo 
Irl it drop afcuiii, lill lir trtU* U — <1<hw1 «|i|»Lt 
ibr Udy irtill aaieep» with hrr tunu ouu hkr 

ibr IiaihIU* ora|i«im|v Mr. \> 

hi • I. ll<- Mi\ii It b all a buax- ilial ibr i . 

can lirnd hrr ami if i4ie plraici ; aiul Mr. VrU'>'«l'^ •• 
inirii"* ^v ibc- l>iK-lor lo mount Ou • --r 
tbe lAiiuf, joooicU, **tmmog m bfMK%w^ uui tiTinig 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 115 

hath no fellow." Mr. Yellowley mounts the stage, 
and endeavours to bend the lady's arm — is cautioned 
by the Doctor to beware of breaking it — and our 
friend returns much perplexed, his example being 
followed by half the audience. The stage is crowded 
for ten minutes, during which time the poor woman's 
arm remained as before, nor did she seem to be at all 
conscious of being surrounded by a crowd. Several 
commands of a similar nature being obeyed, the Doctor 
began to write upon the black board himself. I'll 
tickle my ear with this pen — a new experiment ; tickles 
his ear — the lady shakes her head, puts her finger into 
her car. (Loud applause.) Doctor writes again. 
" Will any lady or gentleman lend me a snuff-box ?" 
— a bottle of smelling salts is handed to him — Doctor 
smells it aside, and makes most diabolical faces and 
grimaces — the lady iri the chair sneezes outright. 
(Thunders of applause, and cries of " Encore! encore!") 
Emboldened bv his success, the Doctor declares that, 
as a final and convincing proof of the power of the 
magnetised, he will permit half a dozen gentlemen to 
write their names on a card, and one at a time mount 
the stage and read over the list of names to the lady, 
who will tell the reader of the list which is his own. 
Mr. Yellowley and others write down their names, 
and that gentleman mounts the stage and reads the 
names pencilled on a card to her, in a loud voice. 
" Now, what is my name ?" said he, pausing at the end 
of the list. " Jones," said the lady, in a feeble voice. 
" Guess again," said he. " Martin," said the lady. 
Here the Doctor interposed, and requested I\Ir. Y. to 
return, and permit the rest of the gentlemen to read 
their names. They read, and read in vain ; the poor 
lady did not succeed in naming one of the six aright. 



il6 I III: IS TUC %klL«T. 

" Now. p ' ncn," Mid tiic J > ' need not 

hI. Iirfurr yuit «• ; •tr mc, can- 

(tnllv— * 1 JIv «i xi will tiMibdj 

to l»t Mf. VrllowUx 1 not 

mm m K r uluU hr ifti^Jicnl iIk* UiIv !•> du; ami of 

ibe ni |;rnllrtiirti, not oiir ofilinii euiiUl mv wh«l he 
wv liiitikiii^ tdnntl wlien he lo(»k iIm* Imly '• luuid ; Jitwl 
hrinf* laiiglird at for thrir \mum^ tho I>(Hi(»r mini» wiih 
(l>e ladv, ninkLit IikhI rlifrm. The I><n t<>rNMMi r 
«ti<I l_v ortrn* lo map niiy ladv preariii. No 

\m\y is ItMil t ]| to MiKinit in liis iitaiii|Mil Inii 

snrend p-iidriiHii voltiiKrrr llirir |»rrMHis lu l»r m .. - 
n< , ImiI llir DiK'tor ol>jtH*tA. *- Ii i.h f*xin*iiirlv diMi- 

rull to miii^netize a man.*" A ^ll*lld^r fo|>|n.Hii votilh 
having fre(|iiri)ily dUtuHied the fieace of the aiidi- 
eitre, rue*, ami iMildly dcrlamt hU unlirlicf : iioi- 
withf^amling all he ha^ fieeii, lie u ctmvimx^l that 
tlirrr exMsa seciTt iiiulri>Uii<liii^lNMuc<ii ilie I>i> 
ami flic I.kIv. Thr li((I< i ' .•» tUihetl 

and. in a lit of'virtnoiu iii<! ii — **(*oaieup)) 

^i^rall r* rri<<l )u*, like* an an^^'V |»«-tLi^<if»tif aiMri awim 
an arrant dniK-e, abcmt to n^ccivc the rr^ianl of his 
Mu|>idit\. The yotHip fellow waa wxHi scalctl in the 
magnetic chair, and the iKirtor, nihhing him tlown 
with might and main, ami«Ut the langhter (»f the amli- 
tnce — •• Now," f^iid he, |MUiiiig to txikr hrralh 
*'now, Mr, h<m do vtNi ir> " Tn i(\ wt II. 1 thank 

voii," Mtid th«- other. " Men. ' khhI iIm I )i^ i..r. .uidrr •• 
iiiu' UM/* ha%'e not alwa\n tin* |)tiwc*r nfiii.ijix 
C'« •rtli.Mifui 1 * 1 ,ttntl liavr tlit g.^wlm >- |m in 

neti«* thin unitleman.** Mi-.n V -— , wImi had »|u»u 
rcctneretl from her magnrtie fit, came furwanl. ami 
waa rrreivrtl with elierr*, an f»he |»niree«lctl to nih 
down tite uid>etie%ing twain in the cAmut. *' lle'» 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 117 

going!" said the Doctor, aside, to ns — "he's nearly 
off!" said he, beginning to adjust the black board. 
" Well, sir, why don't 3'ou laugh now ?" said Miss 

P . " Because I see nothing to laugh at," said the 

chairman. " Well, keep quiet," said she ; and ano- 
ther rubbing match ensued, during which the Doctor 
decided, by the cold feel of the man's hands, that he 
was sufficiently magnetized. '• Well, how do you feel 
now?" said the Doctor. "Rather sleepy," said the 
youth, with a yawn ; "and, as it is after bed-time, I'll 
bid you all good night." This was the signal for a 
general breaking-up, the young fellow shewing he was 
not in the magnetic state, by jumping off the stage, 
though the Doctor protested he would soon have been 
magnetized to sleep, and invited us to return and wit- 
ness his miraculous ])erf()iniance another night. 

Weary of the noise, bustle, and hubbub of m}^ ca- 
ravansary, I sallied out in quest of private lodgings — 
a severe pursuit, — what with clambering up steej) 
nights of stairs, and being cross-examined as to your 
pursuits and intentions by cross old women and crusty 
old men, before they can make up their changeable 
minds as to whether they can let you into their fusty 
chambers without a reference and a month's rent in 
advance. Three days I toiled through Bioadwa}' in 
vain — all the good a])artments were occupied — the dear 
and dirty would not suit — the weather grew most abo- 
minably cold — hail, rain, and snow, drove the gay 
promenaders from Broadway. I jumped into a railway 
car, and arrived at Philadelphia almost in time to assist 
at the funeral })rocession or melancholy ])ageant got up 
for the late president — the lamented Harrison. Having 
already witnessed a similar procession on a far grander 
scale at New York, I did not court the honour of 



118 LtfK iw rtn 

nmlu of ihr ocitl frllowf, «1. rvlic 

J' II, and sinMigvr j^u^ u|> f )»<• n ar of th« 

Hill, aocoftlinfc to tlw nilr iaui tlowu lo 
mv uoclr'i book— ><• Sbrk lu vcmr humM*:* | fulluwrd 
■IT poniiMiilrau Bod ibe crrakini; «:.** ..*«rTDW ofcbe 
bUck |iurtrr up (*br«tnul Sirr^i, vaiiiIv aiirmpcinfr to 
•oier Mindrv botcU, ibr tlour* ami wiimJowb of wbicb 
WTTD to < ' 'v peeked with < ^vitaiufv fraoi 

ibr oeigli iig town — liMlie%, % , flagi, uriM* 

crmpe, ajhI cvcHatdiif fl< ibai ibe lAiadow of a 

ttjuw could not find ingmK, niiirh lt*«4 iu\m-1i and 
wbceUMnximful of Iwiggipti. »St*«'inK ^^^'^^ matten 
fltood, 1 was f^lad lo rriracr niv %tc\m to ibr ri%'cr aide, 
aod conai|ni mv \w"^' "iv to tbr rait* of a waiter in tbe 
bar-room of a nuum iiuicl, r«ll««<l •• Thr Fern* llouae.** 

Ill I lie ovftrr-ruoni, altacbrd to tKp tfiiMifhmrm^ 
i found • gfotip of n nilrnirn. iIm ir wive*, aixl 

daugbtcrH, adfi a huge rai, cluiiiirtl bv tb« kg 

upon a bi|rb (Imk. and fed %%illi Mitnu- piuiiui and nuts 
bv till* 1 :.i« rat liad Ix-cii . ilv cspCinvd 

bv tbe proprietor of the bouae: be met him raiiiUii^ 
along the wbarfii, and declares lie would not put wicb 
him for any money ; be tays this i« the biggefi rat in 
America, calls him his pet, and actuall? puU ibt dk- 
gttfUngMiimal into his boaom. Asihrev< ncd 

oat nret :ii)(I cold, 1 was coiisiraiiietl |4> «ii in i s|er 

roooit iMtaning to tbe le«ri> ranguc^ik of mv bote 

■ml an rceenlric loafer, ealte«| John, a |iriuU*f(rd tort 
ot haiigrr-oii alMMit ihr • naid and did erarv 

thing that < aiiM< into h . 1 s«ion diirovertd iberv 

waa a iort of riralry, a jralmi%Y. between John and my 
hoff, rr*-!- -fing thin rat — Jolin pretrmling to a share 
in the tirmin, as be bad a«Msiod in it* rapinrr. wblla 
Um Imm takaa ail tbe merit ' tur%- o( ihr chase to 
bimptir. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 119 

" Pa," said a little bo}^, eyeing the rat — " pa, don't 
you think it is a shaved 'coon." 

" No, my son," responded the father, " it is a Guinea 
rat." 

" My, what a long tail !" exclaimed a young lady. 

"I think it is a marmoset," said another. 

" How tame it is !" said an old lady, venturing to pat 
the animal's back, a piece of familiarity the rat re- 
sented with a squeak, biting at the old damsel's fingers, 
and sending the whole party to the rightabout with a 
loud scream, as he lea]3ed at them as far as his chain 
would allow. 

Puttino; on mv old cloak, I sauntered about the 
streets of the largest city in the Union till the lamps 
were lighted. The procession, " like the baseless fabric 
of a vision," had disappeared ; the streets were, com- 
paratively speaking, deserted : \\\b shops had been 
shut at an early hour, and a gloomy impression hung 
dismally about my mind as I returned to the Ferry 
House, cold, cheerless, and disappointed. I found 
that lontj-bodied, duck-le!>;iied swao";crer, John of the 
rat, strutting about the bar-room — he had been drink- 
ing, and the effect of his potations lighted up his long 
kite-shaped countenance with a variety of unamiable 
expressions. He wore his high-crowned, sugar-loaf- 
shaped hat, firmly fixed on the back of his head, his 
hands thrust into the side pockets of a sailor's jacket, 
the collar of which sustained a pair of large red ears 
and a goodly sheaf of foxy hair ; the nether man of 
this Adonis was encased in tight drab continuations, 
and old boots turned up at the toes in the Chinese 
fashion. A few boarders and a stray waterman still 
lingered about the stove, the bar-keeper smoked his 
cigar, and the host sat with his heels elevated against 



ISO urir IN mc wwn. 

ihff Move |>*|H*t I ' • ri-'wl an oUI nrt 

MmIci i 1 > II Ai iIm* 

II wan on It 
il Ik- i llir prr^icfil |»r« • nwl . 

^ aiuflliri- . tlM-ilrallK^rilM- t»rT-*M)t-tif. 

the- ilufmfiUI oI'iIm* vilii^'^, i)ii- rwr cjf ih 

rA|ilur« of Mar l^-*-). aimI war with Cmit L ^: 

br liad long wui. ... vi ihr riirruarhmniu of Grtttt 
linlttm^ iMiih a jraluus c- vc* ; »br waola a war — tbt 
frrlui a whi|>|jiiig again, and ihrrr arr men in Phils* 

' : mn liini Im r upi. Urn* John, ^ win 

\^.'..i 1 Av, • J au<»llirr gin * ** /av, a giu 

** No r mpooilctl the btr-kccper — ** roa havr had 
mmigb, and muft* than ui good f«ir ^uu olrt^adv." 

' ilow do yuu know whatftguoil for im*, |ilrbrt w. 
laid John, Arrrrlv -^ **lail I'll addn-?*:^ niynrll lo a higher 
ciuartrr," nfiraking lo the boil. ** Zu^, ronuuajul iliai 
aoaplock al ihr bar lu I i«i liU hiimeaa, ami |»rr- 

•eni me with i Iv.** 

ling lo ii»r, John 'r f^td \\\v hort* cooUt 
liglltiiif( a cigar. 

l)>t\* iv wa0t«d HIT wocvk noon Ton," «kl 

John " i iuivi- ihfoMii |irarU bc-fort* i%%...4 . you luni a 
deaf car lo Uic stanch Mi|>|iorirrti c^f your bounr, voti 
lake lu yotir buNom, and adniii lo your priratc car* 
UiBl ■on of a im— can yea, hi« fiiilirr wan a f * m 
braMCap.* nian whofiNtght ilir and thui lor 

(m.tt Hriliiii^. ihrn dcftrHrtl to \\w wuu 

" John, Un ^lianM'"* iiaid ihr h<««l ; ** you 
rr*ilr my fri« niU,* 

** 111 > I arr ibr gudiy no \«av you ran fix it, ' 

irturtrd J«»hn. •• Fricn«lii, nidcrd ? — why •A i 1 be 

aahaiiK d ' I'M « «R|igair ihc lown,** 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 121 

" Give him a cigar," said tlic host ; " it will stop 
his mouth." 

" I have cifrars enough and to spare," said John, 
pulling out a handful of half-smoked, broken cigars. 

" Well now, John, I have given you a great deal 
of liquor to-day — partly on account of your exertions 
about the rat, partly because it was a holiday — but 
I'll not permit you to make a beast of ^^ourself." 

*' As to that rat," said John, moderating his ire — 
'^ that rat that you make such a rout about, it's a 
mere rat, a queer chicken, poor concern, mean affair, 
for a man like you to hifit about ; the rat is beneath 
my notice, and I know something about him some 
folks would be glad to know." 

" What is it? — come, let me hear it, John," said 
the host, at the same time ordering the bar-keeper to 
prepare a brand}^ cocktail. 

" I'll tell you," said John, smacking his lips and 
eyeing the tumbler in which the brandy cocktail was 
concocting — " I'll tell 3'ou that secret; I found it out 
to m}"^ cost, to-da}': he'll bite if you touch his tail, he 
cannot abide any one as meddles with his tail." 

"Pshaw I is that all?" said the host. " Why we 
all know that — hand me the tumbler." And the host 
swilled the inspiring mixture with great gusto. 

" That is a regular Yankee trick," said John, look- 
ing as fierce and red as an angry turkey-cock ; " first 
learn all you can, then cry sucked, and guzzle your 
liquor. I took you for a man, but I find you're a hog 
a hog — hog — hog!" and John strode up and down in 
ffreat indignation. 

Here a gentleman and two ladies, with whom I had 
travelled from New York, drove up to the door, and 
passed through the bar-x'oom, with considerable fracas 

G 



Iff Um IN TUB WOT. 

•IhI lint uf doom At i1m*v wcrr utlirrrtl up -i^m^ ii> 

ihrir « i ll»€' X' 

** A nrw •! ccMipU- ! ' miuI Oic l»o«t. a» be 

rriiinirtl tn ihr tjur-rooiii ancl n-^utn 

" li< ^ a »man man, 1 guCMi" «ud ilir 1 

" A fill »iic iii a fine woman,** Hiid ihe hu-u 

" llc'ii as pTPttT a man an ever nat to a table,** laid 
a bUrk waiter : " I hrl{)r<l liim to orttm and — " 
And ibc bnd« jr m niicnd the l>ar-room in bi« 
rcvtaiic wat, r 'rd a ^ - cobbler, and m • 

(he t ^ II leaniiit; with iark-lii»lfr cot incv 

on the ctnintcr, | Iv inviiml him to join. .1 !>fi 

«hd not : ((* iimch prcf^in^;. 'Hie bmU ^riHun 
noon cli<(coven*(l be was a aort of privileged fool, and 
began todinplav bin wit, at JohnV ex|)cnse, to tbe fcrral 
atiuuicmenl uf the biwt and dreamers round the More. 

** Take a chair, ^ir, I iiuitut^'* «id the bridcgroooit 
with mock cerBai< ' 

** After voii, fir,' Mid John; and with fonte diffi- 
cuhy the |uiir Mt down lo^ to fin • . I he 

bridegroom fiaid J«ihn «ome %'ery fulaome comph- 
menlA, told him he | < id he was a man of pttl»-» 

a gcniua — a hterar}* character ; wished to be liemfited 
by bis r«>nven»ation, begird his opinions upon aflaiiv 
in genera), and tlie womlcrftil rat in |ianicular. 

" l^t Its mire to a private room, sir,** hoid John, 
" • we may c» <• ii|Mirt from tbose jeering 

loalers." lint (hi Iim*- /: -un di 1 the pro|KMiiiion, 

an«) .!• <*«iii(d ti) |>! .1 < ! l>r;i\MM'j )ii> chair 

closer to the l<: •!. hr U ^'.ui to ca •« tliat 

gentleman. " \V' —what is rmtr pro- 

fi*«xion ?*' 

Um? bri'^ "-«om, taki II In Mnpn^H-, it«)x>iiik-ti Umi 
Im wag in tm inrnnnf''' / In.* 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 123 

" Tile, sir, tile — mercantile, not mercanteel — tile is 
the word," said John. " Now, sir, you think because 
you're a merchant (and you may be a broken merchant 
for all I know) you may turn me into ridicule, make 
me a laughing-stock before those rowdies, soaplocks, 
and loafers." 

The bridegroom still carried on the joke, though 
John was getting serious. He protested that he had 
not the remotest idea of such a thiufr : he thouo-ht 
every man in the room had a right to seek information 
from the sa})ient John, because, as a public character, 
he was, like all great men, public property. 

" Who calls me public property ?" said John. 
" Take care, sir, how you attack my character. You 
respect neither feelings nor morals." 

A gin-sling served to close the breach which was 
fast widening between this comical pair; and John 
was induced to make an oration upon the present 
predicament and awkward position of the varsal world, 
&c. &c. ; his audience being swelled by the arrival of 
sundry cab- men, one of them frequently interrupting 
John's speech with boisterous exclamations and shouts 
of laughter. 

" Yes, sir, as a mercantile man, you will suffer," 
said John ; " as a mercantile people we will suffer in 
this war with Great Britting. There is only a rope 
between us and a bloody war ; we hang Mac Leod 
and take the Canadas, therefore, I sa}^ there is only a 
rope between us " 

" And the gallows !" interrupted the cabman, 

" You'll come to that soon !" said John, and then 
continued. " We all know what Washington said 
when he ordered that Britisher officer to execution, 

G 2 



!♦! f-flT fX Tftr WM T. 

with Irin in hi < v* ^. With irarn in UU cyrt 
ingtan tmiUU * I (Ium^ with ilit^ vrrj mjui cm a swm 
potato in m lainarak »wani|K ImiI 111 clo uit dulv ; lake 
biin away.* louil br ; * ibuugli lir wm niv l»n»lbrr, ur 
Ui)' fallMT. )ir, I «)', be »>li(MiKI Im* luuigrcL'" 

♦* \Vh.» \%h.», J.»hn?" Ui«il«tl ih«- rAltman. 

•• l>M*k in vmir htHton," i ' u. 

" \ahX V(Hir>4'ir, Joliii," triitl tiic (t'liitn; '' vou 
don't know ili<> ofTio-r'n naiiM*.* 

John, riitin^ u|> \«i(h gtrrat iiHlif^fUttioii, ** RcgoiM*, 
jou rowdy! ril kick v«mi into llic niiiUllc of n* 1 1 
wrrk if yuii darr inlcmipl mr apiitu** 

" (iu on, ^u on, Kir, I Im*^*** Mtid the bruirgruum . 
** ilon'l niiiul liiui, Iu'h lM*n«'alh xmr noiict*.** 

** lie U,** ."aiil John, rr*<uiiiiii^ his v4>ai, *• a %ilo, 
barking* cMon-trrr cur! .\- I \^.l^ saying, that Unm, 
Kiw.hliM'l inrr, otf Ncu Orh'.utsaiiil hrr !>:. «! 

- 1 U-g yiNir |unlon, rmt wrrp upraking altont 
Waaliington and an hiMoricnl t-MMil," taid th«* hii.;. 
grooni. 

*• \N« II. «r, i II chnui^r my M»uj«4l \*ln ii I plr.i-.*-." 
Rftitl John ; *' I'll not haqi on nUHit \N 
pleaie Jt>u or nn\ t»ihrr iii:in. no way vtm can ti& ii. 
li.iiikiMt/, hir, ItaiiliiiL' and (Iu iih-ln-.x' nrv hill fn^To*<. 
uiv (• 1 i. . rn n|» nuM h of my -^-tKUi" 

ailcniioii to Uinkiii)^.'* 

** CanaU, John, ur railnkiiUr liauU^ ibc cabman. 

Ilrrr Jolin made a ihori nui at bin lomirnlur. who 
r«ra|icd from him lhn>u^h tin* Mnrl-duor ; and John 
m ilrtl on to n*num<' I .1 

* 1 hi ijUi ^luMi iitl JmIiii, ** \«h4«t'4 to lir d<»nc 

Wiilt < III iir|*lnH ra-oh / Arc wr to hide our tah nti« 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 125 

like the Dutchmen, burying their hard dollars in their 
cabbage plots? or shall we invest it in the public 
funds, loan it to the banks, Nicholas Biddle, or " 

" Black Nancy is at the door, with the child in her 
arms ; give her some of the cash, John," cried the 
cabman. 

Here John's self-possession deserted him. Starting 
np, he made a short kick and a box at the cabman, 
pursued him three times round the room, chased him 
half way down the wharf, and returned, puffing and 
])lo\ving like an angry walrus, lie found the bride- 
groom laughing over ji frei^h brandy cocktail, and re- 
buked him with his selfish conduct. 

" I have entertained you and instructed you — 
enlightened your weak mind," said John ; " but the 
moment I turn my back, you get another glass for 
yourself I took you for a man, but I find you're a hog 
— youVc a hog, a hog, a hog, — hog I"' 

" John, John," cried the host, " for shame, John; 
after all the gentleman's kindness to you, you call 
him a hog." 

" I do!" retorted John ; " I call every selfish guttler 
and guzzler a hog. I call him a hog, and I call you 
another; but if he's a hog, you're a bigger hog!" 

" Go the whole hog, John !" bawled the cainnan, 
peeping in at the door. But some of that malicious 
wag's companions pushing him forward, he fell head 
foremost into John's clutches, and the pair rolled over 
a portmanteau into a basket of oyster shells, while the 
bridegroom and s])cctators rushed to separate the 
struiriilinfr foes. The i'errvboat bell rang shrillv, and 
a shoal of passengers pouring into our l)ar-room, an- 
nounced that the New York mail had just arrived; 
the brideu;room ran to look for his bride ; I hunted 



out lOT biggagv, pM my •carr, aficl ■■ I g te ppcd into 
m cmb, «w John rmeigv frtwi bchiiMl the bar«€ouoicr, 
with hi* hat knocked «m1 cniilwd all chiI u( ilMi|lt» 
m he abook band* vtib one of the imh ani\al», a 
■MM oomiral amilc ami frtmn pUung alMHjt hii 
glcminf viMur the nhilc. 

'. iiighi, John r cxcUiiDcd tbe cmbmafi, at be 
tbru»l niT poftiiuuitcau into bit cab, iben plir<l hta . 

whip, aiicl I lie licit macncnt wc were rauling o%er tbe ^ 

•tooca lo thi* Baltiioorc raiUav atatioo. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 127 



CHAPTER VIII. 



Tarry town — Washington Irving's dog — Caldwell — Uncle Sammy 
and his friends — Saratoga springs — Boarding-house acquaint- 
ances — A printer on the road — Barrister versus boatman — Stray 
damsel of the woods — Episcopalians and Universalists. 



I HAD walked four or five miles from Dobbs' Ferry, 
under the broiling rays of a June sun ; a war of exter- 
mination had been carried on against the trees, till, at 
last, not so much as a sheltering gooseberry bush dare 
flourish a leaf near the public wa3^ Gladly diverging 
from the dusty road, I entered a shady lane, which 
seemed to lead to the river — I was not disappointed. 
Passing through a quiet, sequestered ravine, 1 found 
a pretty little hijou of a Dutch cottage, with its pic- 
turesque gable ends and grotesque outoffices peering 
through the cool green foliage of the surrounding 
groves ; and, turning a corner, the broad sunny waters 
of the Hudson lay before me. Two labourers were 
slowly removing some sticks and stones from a httle 
boat pier, lading a cart sustained by a team of heavy 
oxen, standing knee-deep in the water, quietly chew- 
ing the cud of contentment. Seating myself upon a 
stump on the sandy shore, I enjoyed the cool air and 
bright prospect before me, now counting the white 
sails glinunering about the Tappanzee, anon glancing 



UFs iM rns warr. 

after tome e«T ^ ^ • t « *• utn r bttuinint; < 

f V ill rriM r; itijj frutii I: Ic*! 

j r 1 t>ii lirr \**\»c^ lo AIIm 

I. IIIV \ :i to till Kim LLllliI Mill, I l<>fl!««-tl 

! : 'ii' of ilii ixiol kr %thii'li |Ik*(Ic*«|* tmiutilain I 

;.. ii.. ;r n f<| Imi-'h* fl|^ll.^llrK furtli lo iIk- jmh' 

vi New > A Ur|i^ l>Uri-atMl-wliit(. 

.\4u. Mamlilug, ! ' * • ' V I. retl- 

•liiiiH^l iiir, uiili *iiitl 

iitMi|«rtl (Mil of t ] I lilt iiftii aiMl mailc* up lu n%t. I 

l«K>k ill ^ vtfiMtlKlLuitl t tllC CAT, lie* 

lltrii t III* (nl<l iHi.4 into IIIV IiiimI, .iih! Ii.i\itig rx- 
iliaii^til tuki'iu> uf coiilMliiKv and friiiKUIiip, Ik* ln>oL 
a dip in the river anil kwjiiii alMHit to ctM>| hiniM .:. 
The iiir liiin;; nlijuf, IniI I won citfctirerrcl that he 
was frrr from tlir wa«|Hiih aiMl u«imiri^ (liNpoailiaQ 
c»f ciir. ill jjtiM-ral. I M ^ he dniirrcl 

i*'<Mii, irMiidl lu a lilllc l«Miiiiaiii m iIn* lMiik>i<ir and 

( at a link* Illmmi. wliiU- I c' 
rr\ -'I'lig rilly aft il lc>a|Htl 

. 1. 
•* \V|mi livn* in tliU it ii!.-i"r, mv tnnn *" '-tW! f to uoe 
of the lalMHinTN. 

" WiL-iliin^iMi Imn^. iln- ri |»lv. AihiiIm r 

» ' \*« " '1. *• ^^ 1 lr\inj» hrul Martnl U'l 

Nfw \ iffk tills iiKiriiii J 

" '1*1 mtt in i\ tide in tin .itliir^ of turn,'* tlioiii:li( I. 
a*. I licpiii to rrtnuv liiv 'Mmo or ihrti- i 

: I ini^lii have seen li 
Pail 111^ at llir lillli* wiMMltii ^ati . 1 Itiokcd in ii|>on 
flif ..iH. t |torrh and uiianoin''" • fnmt-^thr \hhim «»f 
!•!• 1,11 I •iiM*<l aiithctr. \ Immiiii i ojhI parwHtl c n»rr{*rtl 
friMu iIk' lialt door, oihI angry «iith < ^f fur ^ 
caii};hl hHingiiig ' '. tlit - tgetigii i nUr 



LIFE IN THE AYEST. 129 

curiosity, I retreated, and had almost reached the 
high road again, when the Newfoundhind dog jumped 
out of a grove before me, and plainly as dog could 
explain himself, urged me to follow him — jumping 
into the grove and looking back several times. I 
climbed after him, whereat he seemed greatly de- 
lighted, and began to whisk towards the cottage again, 
but finding he could not prevail on me to return 
home with him, he walked moodily after me till I 
reached the high road side. Travellers were ap- 
proaching, and I i^hook off my friendly follower 
somewliat rudely, and sent him back, lest, haply, I 
should be accused of stealing or attempting to steal 
Washington Irving's dog. Heated on the stoop of the 
quiet little inn at Caldwell, I waited patiently till some 
of the Albany steamers would condescend to take in 
passengers at our solitary station. The host reminded 
me of one of the old Dutch skippers so faithfully de- 
scribed in lvuickerl)()ckcr\s New York; nalhlcLS, 
Uncle Sauuuv, thon*!;!! Dutch built, was far from 
being a Dutchman ; he had a kind word, a jovial salu- 
tation, and cordial welcome in store for every strange 
and familiar face, friend or foe, brought over from 
Peekskill in the little steam ferry-boat. His ac(juaint- 
ancc with the denizens of the banks of the Hudson 
and the lloating craft upon its broad bosom seemed 
unlimited. The weather was oppressively hot. Uncle 
Sammy seemed melting away in his shirt sleeves, his 
red and carbunclcd nose seemed to hiss as the perspi- 
ration coursed down from his brows, enveloped in a 
red night-cap, while his eyes seemed stewing under 
his bushy eyebrows, glancing and gleaming from 
seas of rheum, liquidity, and tobacco smoke, like a pair 
of mud volcanoes. Uncle Sammy generally recog- 

g3 



190 LfFS tjk Tilt. Hi^T. 

niaed one or two of lU ^cr« tnuii Tcdukiil 

with A fort of ntw boUoa. ' iia, hal lirrr vcm mn 

• 

r he would ' ' im, cjilctMliiig lii» liaiiil toioaie 
Mulor or iuo of brxiwii UixNir. ** Ah ! mao, you 
air frucn I\-f k^kill ? ( p nmo a acgd PipriulL) 

** I w^em DoC, t'Di xu ; I'm fruai Tappm.' 

jou arr« to Yoa are: Tutrrr an IJndmlunk. I 
know iL** 

* No, Uncle Sam, Tin a Vaiidtuilir. 

" I knrw it. I knew it— ^an I'lKicnlunk or u \ <- 
(liinkcr all the Mine; let** liquor tijiuu it^ ...1 
Uode Sam and his friend n- to tbc ' 

The qtsaotitj of whi»kv unti ftrong waierv Viu 
Sam >cd with iIium- Hmh^ ^ r« purpri«r<l n»c ; 

to \je PUTT, hit oooTcraation UiiuiM.* ran* ul e&- 

curvivc tuwaida erentfifc, but cHherwitr I «i. . . t |icr- 
criYe anY r** "w^ in his uutwanl iiuui. ilii» ** You're 
from Pig^kiii xounded at chct-rfiillj at ever, and 
ibrewd giicM, an Imlcnlunk or a VaiKlunkcr followed 
quile naiumllv. Hia wrath waa a« riuiU • ' I 

awakene<l a* *' a lion rf eep m g near a aource \ 
b oorii b «K>okuig old tannir in a long«nork truck. 
uoibaTeo anxious liMjking hanftvr-on aIm'ui i 
liihiiient, called Joel. llii» man I'ml* ^ ilUd a 

millukop, loafing about in the hhadctf iiiMcad of louki .- 
after the cow. Joel |irutc»tetl be luid nour*' ''*r u,t 
cow (uT miles and nitlc« rotnul ; *' but the la mi arrant 
wandrrrr and friicv-breaker,** said Jorl. 

•* Tlien tbcrr is a pair of \e,** n 1 Sam. 

** I M b«-r tlir next tunc I (4uii ber." said Jix ! 

AimI Ml ihf iniiUi (»i'tbr ruinef«> >h nia 

up In a liam-* r 

*' I knew ibr wniiM mme Home to Ite italtrd. I'nrle 

IT.* 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 131 

" Now then, get the bell," cried Sam. And we 
drove the cow into a shed, and secured her, Uncle 
Sammy holding on by one horn, a fisherman by the 
other, while Joel came along with a cow-bell and a 
strap, which he attempted to put round the cow's 
neck ; the cow resisted. Uncle Sam's pipe was knocked 
out of his mouth, the fisherman's nether garment fell 
down about his heels, and an idle old dog, who had 
hitherto divided his attention between snapping at the 
flies and scratching his ears, scoured down from the 
stoop, and fastening his teeth in the bushy hair at the 
end of the cow's tail, lent his aid to distract the cow, 
amidst the torrent of abuse, oaths, and threats, poured 
upon his head by Uncle Sammy, struggling backwards 
and forwards with the cow's head under his arm, till 
by a sudden jerk he was pitched on his beam ends on 
a dunghill, and the cow broke loose from all save 
her canine appendage ; that zealous hanger-on being 
either unable or unwilling to extricate his teeth, 
swung round and round in the air, to the great delight 
of a knot of little boys collected in the vicinity of a 
well-laden cherry-tree in the garden. But Joel, 
willing to retain his position in Uncle Sammy's good 
graces, kicked the dog off, and throwing himself upon 
the cow, bravely took her by the horns, and the bell 
was once more produced. The strap was too short. 
" What must be done ?" said Uncle Sam ; *' there is 
not another bit of leather in the place." 

" There is nothing like independence, Uncle 
Sannny," said Joel, as, stooping down, he pulled a 
Ions: leather boot-kce from his short boot, and secured 
the strap and bell round the cow's neck. 

" Nothing like independence, as you say," said the 
fisherman, as he tucked in his skirts. 



••Conn, Ih.\,, \vi\ li'juor ii|ioo it,** si '1 ' 

and tlir ino ^! ' im dir 1* ir 

! emon had jtiM I- -that it to '^ «- 

t *• ami boarding- rr airing, r , 

t»^, f^ii.l .^l.ijin.^, fbr ihc rctfplicin i»f ti«»ii«»r» at 
' I >ii ^^m-u 1 arrived at ihi* Ctf-Uux-d 

\ • r • plart-. 

" \t>u will fifui iC I (lull jii ( now,** s.iiil a r <il- 

niail ( niiijuniuii, ** ('• ; Il.tll .iiul iIk* l*a\ili'". 

I* 

•• Trv mv r," taid a re- 

• \txfi _ «ii, tiHK liiii^ liift hat. 

•• I don't rare if I do/' said 1 ; Miid followrtl niv 
^-»f|rr to the (MitJikin.H of the town, tutbe white ktoi*}.- 

1 nnprctcmlinf; fnnit of his lioardinp-hou^r. irith 
tiit lilt^ iii.inin-lioUM' |H*n'lH*tl over tlu n^^c-tm- 

" \<>ii may picaac youraelf, and choose any room 
\>,\t Mr," Mi<l iny lM•^^. a.H lir Ktl nic llinMi^h t' 
*• \tv \i:\vv wry few lMKtnlri> jit*l i» • 
1 .oon i\xct\ ii|H>n n (|uic*t little eliandier, o|ietiin^ 
on llir vrraiida or Moop, and niade my self cpiite at 
lionie. \Vi* din^-tlat two oVlock — a |>Uiii ajwl lionif-lv 
nienl, of wliirli ilu* llo^t and tilMiui n d(ȣrn IxNUtleni 
i >k, wliili* four n ire f^irls liindaii. ! .it 

laiflr ; j in tin ot the 

':''}<'■• \y : 1 i-, I inijiiiri-il ol nil ai 'C- 

1 ,' 111 >M ulio Mil nrxi n\v how ilic ¥%> I %%ilh 

him; I with ^omr n iihiiI. ami 

tn.ll liiA dt'imrliire without »ati»f\ing me on tliat hcul. 
1... man I afkerwnnl^ •* * crrd to b«- - nqK-n** • 

- ' * iiHiiivr u.. lu I.. ;^' iiimiinMKii ty ; In 

'«*iMlad fi»r ili«* h. and not 1 

It ol tbc gah^ he Wiia wUm the ^ 



1 a 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 133 

stickcd minister, and now hononrably supported him- 
self as a journeyman carpenter. A lawyer's lad}^, and 
her sister and daughter, from Albany, acknowledged 
they had received much benefit from the Iodine. 

" Give me the liighrock," said a dark-complexioned 
youth, the wag of the party, a young barrister, who 
sat at the foot of the table ; " try the Highrock spring, 
sir; it is famous for sharpening one's appetite." 

I verily believe the Americans arc the most sensitive 
people on the face of the earth. A stranger attributes 
their silence to pride and melancholy ; I attribute it 
to 7)iaHvaisc hontc in the men, and beshrcw me if I 
know what in the women. Took a delightful stroll 
through the pine-groves at the back of our house ; 
there is somethinir cxhilaratinfr in the air wafted 
throng] 1 a ]>ine grove. 

" Light, bad land, this,"' said one visitor to another, 
as they marched over the stumps, discussing the 
qualities of the soil. 

Returning to the house, I overtook one of our 
boarders, a tall, good-looking man, in the everlasting 
lilack coat and continuations, and attempted to enter 
into C(mversation with him. lie seemed in rude 
health, but fancied he was very ill indeed, and drank 
prodigious quantities of water, lie was from Massa- 
chusetts, and was one of the most reserved men I have 
ever met with. One day, I found him fainting on a 
sofa in the parlour, and one of our kind-hearted ladies 
fanning him and supporting his head. I proposed 
that he should be carried to bed, and a doctor sent for ; 
b!it, opening his great black eyes, he protested against 
receiving any assistance with great vehemence, begged 
that a basin might ho set beside him, and that he 
might be left alone. But the ladies having gathered 



UfS ur TtlE w 

alioot him, I linfc^rvd at il»r iiiii>(i«>\». our Teoe> 

WMUm kimll) 11 
** I hmrt been tlrinl iiiaibler> ml ilu- (*<m- 

l«vo at ihc Tavihi unc ml ibr 1 i," 

BMinwiw d tbr palieiU. *« Ob ? iham vaim will be 
tbe dcaib of me !* be grtMUicti . .:t*irad of Kwchiiig 
m^r turturrti Momacb, (* ibarp mod cbilhog viaim 

- Ob! Mr. — ! I. • Mr. T OhT and 

" n> * Ucd ibc* lailic%, oo tlicv r od, simI 

Uf^ till* \ of (lit ^itait to tbc care of ibi* okl buatcii 

aiicl im*M*)t. lie UcaiiK* M) ill lliat wc bad to |miI 
bim to Utl, niKl iriid (ur a (1<m lor after alL 

" 1 Ic ban Uxii (|uackiiif< biiiMclf,** »aid ()r- ductar.aa 
be deart-iidi-d (nmi ibc iiiTalid'n cbambcr ; *' lie baa 
been drinking ibt* walen i»ilbtnjt medical advice— 
Wfong, wrong, \cry wrong, lu drink tbe waters miih- 
otit ftm ooQaolting a mcdit al maiu 

SaJlic*il out l)ef(in* breakfaHi \%ith (lu* l>.irn^'« r. t mk 
a tip at every one of tbt* r>|inii^^ troni ibe CcMigraai 
lo lilt li vk. clan I up ilu- i 

iCepi al ilie laal, sod i our tAv\» tbriM^b llie 

■habbv Mooden buoaea occupied by ibe rrnegade 
(*anadiaii Frriicb, lo tbe up!- ' ' tidol Hroodaay, and 
nat dotrii to breakfast mm votai tuiui aa bungrv wolve*^ 
Tbe road in front of our Itouw wa^n tig : w ii- 
(! iieoa, ' ' •iIk- l«i«, \«rrr wtuk 'iitiiib 

tbeir own Uaw \ !• i rnMlc**ni«-n « <:t .» m r^ 

poor figure aa oui r*. Onr of tiniu.a 

■bort, aquab little : »ilb a mm \r 

moalh, and blenr e)c», wore a Terr bigb liUik Mock, 
bat almoM a* long aa bi* ImmI\. ami a new p«ir of 
i.;.j.j.... t. .1 \v, II *-.•?' |^. li^l ibrovin bi» cuat 

u\ntii iUL UIAIU.U 1 i i be gia i p a d an iron cruw* 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 135 

bar almost as long as himself, sometimes supporting 
himself upon it, then niggling a little round a stone, 
while his tongue rattled away ; and his fellow labourers 
followed his example, leaning on their shovels, spades, 
and crow-bars, while they listened to his eloquence or 
responded to his questions. 

" We may safely call this a beaten track of life, my 
friends," said the squab labourer. " I find it almost 
impervious to the point of the Dotor's crowbar." 

" The bar wants to be newly pointed, I guess," 
said a tall man with a stoop, a long sky blue frock coat, 
and a very bad pair of old shoes." 

" It would cost five cents to get it pointed," replied 
the other. " Five cents, let me tell you, is not to be 
thrown away upon a loaned crowbar ; and though five 
cents is not worth the notice of a boot and shoe maker 
like you — by the way, I wish you had not made those 
boots so incjuisitorially tight across the instep." 

" Boots ! indeed ; why, do you wear boots on the 
road? Look at my feet !" said the shoemaker. 

" It's'a singular fact," said the squab fellow, leaning 
on his bar, " and indeed I think I'll insert in our 
next week's pa})er, this question — * Who ever saw a 
shoemaker with a good })air of shoes, or a new pair of 
boots on his feet ?' I never did, for one. Hollo, squire !" 
exclaimed this genius to our host, "come down here, 
and take a turn at the bar ; you'll shine at it, man, 
like a parlour poker." 

" No, no, no thank you, master printer. Why 
don't you work like a man when you are at it? 
Fitter for you to send a substitute, I say, and mind 
your own business." 

"■ There we differ in toto,'' said the printer. " I 
like to fulfil the law to a letter ; no shirking for me ; 



IM urz Df rmm 

DO |t«li nr flohiiiiiite. t) ' • ng cmt. It i f 

••kc, ami to »ri ibc ).• n 

example. iK4i I %»itH il 

Ijunctrv l.'»»i: M itiv IimmK all in I ilie 

m 

f . ami ihr lx>iirlil of ibr iiHnfim»»«»v. 

iaiKiti^ IB «ii » ^♦'♦tk — •cikI inr <l«mn a fiilclMr «'i n «''l 
culrr." 

*• Tlv • «»f llic l\t\i!i'f« water at ihr 

ImA of the -, il ytni like lo dnnk,** rrfpiiMlefl 

Otir ll^•^f, • V. 

The pnnirr ig tlrangbt, aod 

recii'tl <Mir Ikm's atiri In a utoffie in the roaiL. 

** Squire, «lo you think it rx|w«hi m f.-r mr tci rr mn r r 
tbiA hrrc ^•' -^ rical s|iecinK*ii 

** To Ih' muv ; uhy hh<Mihl it lie hit a Uumbiiug- 

• N clour?" rrpliiil llir ImM. 
*♦ Vrrv i^rll ; hiii«*f VtHi i»i>h it lo l»e Iran p! 

ir or five I '%n!» r I 

the 1 I I lo hU»l II 

in a new aii«l 

" Av, anil hirak liiv wimlow , :aul tlir li<»t. 
** 'Hial b your loi>k oul,** h.iitl llic |>finlrr; ** or, 
rathc-r. if voii air f ^ ''\^ out, voii nwv ch»tn<T l« jrrt 
\«Mir ti<»^* mrtailcii ut tt ini • < \u\y length l*y a flxin^ 
?|»lin» 

** Vmir omn noiC Iih-Hl >\uir 

nl all r\ i tlir lioht : and the* Tv->t of the* l-t- 

r«Mitnl -r il riuiii ::. 

r t *. ami cut ^hort iIm* |>niil(r'> coiivi nsiilioii. 

tf'.f. i M, i!».. rMrl«»ur with iIk- rvi4 of ihe '-• •'*'ri>., 

■ iiii.'tiiiii^, Ijcfiirr rhiut'ht wr wrrr Ui'-oml 

I in of a vuitor, an ohl tlaiitarl, wImik* att- 

• rrr'l «• * 

i.abof: J 



LIFE IN THE ^VEST. 137 

gown, of faded brocade ; her bonnet, " well saved, a 
world too wide," resembled an antiquated coal-box ; 
her face, mah/rc the rude embraces of time, looked as 
romid and hale as a last year's apple preserved in sand ; 
round her throat she wore a necldacc of very large 
gilt Venetian beads; long faded gloves almost covered 
her skinny arms. She Hounccd into the parlour, sans 
ceremonie, sat down on a sofa, divested herself of shawl 
and bonnet, and made herself quite at home. Think- 
ing she was a relative, or Iricnd of the familv, the 
ladies and gentlemen did not speak to the visitor. At 
last the bells began to ring, and the host and his family 
marched oft' to their respective houses of worship ; the 
ladies prepared to follow their example. 

" JNIy dear," said our strange visitor, rising up and 
approaching a little West Indian girl who was reading 
a tract, " My dear, do you use glasses ?" 

The little girl replied in the negative, in no small 
confusion. 

" Old woman ! ma'am ! — say, ma'am ! can you loan 
me your glasses?" persevered our visitor, turning to a 
Scotch lady, who was reading. 

The Scotch dame said she was sorry it was not in 
her power, as indeed she could not read without spec- 
tacles herself. 

" Well, what's to be done ?" said our visitor. " I 
have forgotten my own glasses to home, and the bells 
are ringing." 

*' Perhaps, madam," said I, " we can send for your 
glasses, if you tell us where." 

" Well, now," interrupted the lady, " I guess you 
think yourself considerable smart. You want to find 
out where I live." 

I protested I had only intended to serve her. 



138 i.irs m me w 



*' WvW, loan me m pmr of 
1 ligmi<-ti I could ncrt art titiittiodflt< oate* but 

I had • irlMTope. x , was verr mtirli at her 



ni do DO ((ood here, 5«uu tuc kdj, aiicl rx-Mnntii^ lier 
bonnri and thawK awaj the wrnt. 

NVi-m to thr rptjinv|Hdian cJ .or m h- 

in which dniiir •«* na» |- r? rtnrti li> an I ,. 

nian I h( \«in(iow<* of thio lniiUliiig wirt- lllr«>^Ml «>;k n 
wiih Mil h r.i-.liiujv.*, that a lum-iii of air atvl »<• 
«> afrramififf in ii|Min ilie deroCrd 

r> ,. ' n- llaMu^ »u#taiiird the (Irmughl furtooie 
time with ilic patitiHT of Juh, until 1 began to feel 
abooting paint in the cars I rrtrratr^l. and iiitcrrd the 
new chiirt'h of the tinif«ff«iiaiA. The cuugrtfatioo 
not an large oa 1 • \ ; < * • ! . : ; i. /< . iiber of 

■od limgin about thr ImiiI ami liurMni 

ht Iff about the n>ad. or tied to thr n ^^ 

Stnectm i • prearher waa a }ku«nig ni.. ■fjniiic 

Icnperaai* 11< thd not ^wcll upt>n thr . ular 

tenelji of the imi^cp' •'•-»-. IhH f»|)okc of * '^f * tji 

conveniion to tbe cx)iiii<.>iiablc docthnca of iiu (.uutvlu 
lie rrhiled a cuinrnation be bad bad witli a ccftaio 
mao ill the « til. who d< ' - J 

be would i:iv« up hu* ti am uikI waggon if he cookl 
bi \^\ui\ iba preacher told him — %i«., thai no 

man in to be d^-d to all • ■\ 1 re- 

mmdad me of an anccdala I bail htanl .i .<ii In-^h 
iwint who liad ipnuTrllrtl with hu liuliop, and art up 
a cliafiel on hia o«ni accoiml. (felting into aurulrv 
•crafiea and a riol« be waa brought t(» trial at thr 
■■Mtra, aiul .^ \ <tf the dtaigoa brought 

bioL Bdbra Im Mi ibc cuun-bouir, be i 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 139 

conversation with an influential magistrate respecting 
his reformed chapel, and his improvement on the old 
church of Rome. " We have got rid of holy water, 
sir," said he. " I am glad to hear it," said the magis- 
trate. " And we can dispense with fasting also." 
" So much the better," was the reply. " And we 
have got rid of purgatory." " And I wish you could 
get rid of anotlier very hot place," said the magistrate. 
This universalist minister would have suited that Irish 
magistrate, for he went a step further than the perse- 
cuted Father Crotty, and got rid of the infernal re- 
gions very much to his own satisfaction. 

The harmony of our little society was somewhat 
ruffled this evening by a New England minister, or 
clergyman, who pays an annual visit to the springs, 
and a doctor who visits a patient in our house. Reli- 
gion and infideUty the theme and bone of contention 
about which they fell together l)y the cars, while the 
lawyer stirred up the flame whenever he found it be- 
ginning to fliig. All the sects, the shaking quakcrs, 
methodists, univcrsalists, ike, were turned into ridicule 
by the doctor, who thought himself a very clever fel- 
low. He exposed the humbug and the folly of the 
Mormon leader, Joe Smith, who had drawn together 
a tribe of fanatics in the west, by his book and pre- 
tended revelations ; yet strange to say, continued he, 
a wealthy farmer not far from this has turned Mor- 
mon, and speaks of setting ofl", bag and baggage, to 
the city of Nauvoo, on the Missisippi. 

" Better to believe in Joe Smith than nothing," 
said the minister, pointedly; "for if he deceives, 
upon his head let it rest." 

" Ay, that's your trade," said the doctor. " You 



140 um IX Tiis 

i%cHilil »tip|mrt ■ man liLr J tir aiir other 

Hk* r> t»lt«^l ««iili tnorr irnl .tml wAmilh 

lluui lilt* (i ^ < virtL llr ilMiKil i1m( Ik* waft ao 

inftdrl; Mmc li"*'- «•» *•'*- |in«ro-i • ^aiit-r, lie liail 

icrn niajiy a liiii.iijii mc in il^"III• of dotihi atnl 
frar, and manj an nt* ' '. Miklirr. ainl 
rltttfHt* «»fr tli^ niortiil ii'ii .< IK and < ' '. a» il lie 

w.< • Ins . ^ 

i he nnni^lrr rudc np in 1 

lie «««>nl«l not liiikl ronvi I tti n \%iili anv man ««lio 
111 Id hucli njiinions. I \%»i^ Mirrv lo mx iIk* pwid 
man pve wav» aft llirrr wen* . .!:.il \nnn^ |h*<>|>!< 
JL^lcning to the cnMivcmatimi, ulio looked n|ioft liiv 
miniftrrft rrtrrai aft link* i»h(»rt ofdrfcat. 

Hcidr lo Snrali*)^ l^Lc i»illi llic iMni^h r, |Mit tip 
cMir liorvr and ' at ilir hoit 1. and d* I to 

thr lake in ipn ^t ••! a ImmI fnniKl one sukL in t!> 
ninit. v«lii(li ur (oiildnoC laniu li. .' 
Mituli *>itlr of tin* lakr. wr l«Mik(d uImmiI lor it- nMiiir. 
lint liiidni^ iKinr, i<>uk llit* lilM'rt\ ofrotiin;: np tin 
lake in il. l*n M*nilv a man lir^aii luillooing at:« ; 
lift: IniI, aft niv Iramril fririid oltM'nrnl, iIk* fc-ll«iw was 
on llir o|»|MKiiir iii<lc* of lite lake fn»ni llial wliitli we 
liail lakeii llir Imal, and c*i)*«», tlit* Utal di<l ni»l lirlonf; 
lo liini. Ur^titi;; Mil (Hir «iar>, li«i.«c\c*r, %%r iM-arl I 

i;: n."» lutid and eirnr, for I : prr- 

MiHtl III lake llie frrrvdMNti. Mv Icanu-tl fnritd 
HMT lip ill lilt tmal mmI ife»|iondcd, givin^xbttopi 
^raita, iluil iIm* ap|ielliuil nii)(lil Irmiinale liU <lol« : .. 
iU%ii wiili a ro|ie, ^^lo-</r<-/ff«- ur /rAw/r^jr, beAirr lir 
iMonld ;;rt tlir Imal fruiit t«i; aiMl liv llir may of 
ftlirwiiij* a II0M snftiitnr, wr uA the uaf., and 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 141 

pulled vigorouftl3Mip tho lake. Shoals of little fishes 
played round us ; and we admired the wooded banks 
of the lake, a round wooded hill especially. The 
flies soon became very troublesome, and we returned 
slowly towards the spot from whence we had taken the 
boat ; but the man who had hailed us from the shore, 
now made his appearance in another boat, which he 
pulled towards us with great speed ; we pulled our 
oars and arrived at the landing-place l)efore him. 
" Now let us make a strait coat tail for the buggy !" 
said my legal friend. I was not disposed to run, and 
advised a parley, ^feantime the ferry-man approached 
us, and reproached us with having made away with 
his boat, and finally demanded half a dollar damages. 

" Haifa dollar! — half a dollar, indeed!"' exclaimed 
my friend, slaj^ping his brow — '' who ever heard of 
such an extravagant demand? — well, after that I find 
you are deaf to reason, ill nut argue with you." 
And my friend marchetl otl" into the bush, ami deli- 
berately tof)k oil' his clothes, entered the lake, and 
began to swim about. 

" Well, stranger," said the angry boatman, turning 
to me, " I guess you must pay me lor the boat." 

" Extortion !" bawled the barrister, as he sputtered 
along through the water. 

'' You'd best be civil, my chap," said the boatman ; 
" if it wasn't il)r your daruM imperence to me when 
you took the boat I'd not have looked for a cent." 

" Don't mind him, sir," bawled th(^ barrister; '• let 
him take an action and recover bv law. If he recovers 
at the court of Saratoga, we can ap})oal, and take our 
position in the higher courts at Albany, and laugh at 
his beard. Hurrah ! If you had knovon how v.arm 



142 UFB I.N 

and plcannt ihc wmirr fiseb, jcni nigbi liavc j 
aie« Aiicl «r couUl htfv twain rtmiKi the Ukr. Mithoui 
topgiiig hi* b«iTj old bcMii aloiifp.* 

** Till noc going to mr^giw law with you now," aud 
thr fcrrvman, walking into the bu«h ; ** and m roa 
look |iui««*«Mion of mY boat without aaking, I'll take 
poMMMon of TtHir « ' ' ;l I'm \v\ l" 

I //» //^ liMiiJi §v -li the l>am-' How 

he rrdini to ^ ja in a atalc of ntiililv ; \hH 

to lie il hy vti was moit inglorious 1!«- 

prolcaled and ex _ iuH the barbarian in %aiit. 

and finally 1 wan obliged to pay him and ■rnd In in 
about hit business gnimbling against the barrisier tuc 
hit lamatiom tomfpi^. 

Hi (iiniing home, we fmind n lar^^r liiiul-(or(<'i>4- 
tm ; fthmg the dusty nmd : I captuntl him. and 

pfcaenu-tl Inm to the ladica at honir. Thev M^rrancd 
out that it %«otil(l bite them, and I con>igntMl him to 
the garden, fmm which he aooo made hit cacape. 

My firiend the barriater reUted a hittorr ol our ad- 
venture on the lake to the ladien after tea, and raited 
a Uugh at my expenic, when he told them of how 
cleverly he had left me to pay the angrj boatman : 
hut I ioon ttimcHl the tablet on him, nnd by pnrticuUr 

Ht the hnrriHtcr was urged to tpotit a |K>cm : 
the ladii^s, after the manner of a t 
(|iiif»t and omtnr. llr chnae * ^ * beam ' 

iMMtn— - A ( tain to the Highlands bound. 

bestriding a chair, took the lilicrty of {Hitting hit arm 
round Mtaa or MrK VjoXtk 'nirem|>lev*« waiitl ; elemlini; 
voice, be tboated like a man in a tConn — 



«« 



lloaiaMO, 60 not tA.ry— 

111 ftve 10 ytMi • tillrr pound lo row tt« oVr ikt l^rry.** 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 143 

Then sinking his voice to a deep hoarse growl — 

" Oh, wha be ye wad cross Lough Gyle, 
That dark and stormy water." 

Then replying in the chiefs voice, anon in the 
old ferryman's, till the ladies became excited and 
interested ; but when he came to the doleful lamen- 
tation of the father, and groaned and moaned — " My 
daughter ! oh, (oh — ho ! oh — ah !) my daughter !" 
the ladies had recourse to their handkerchiefs, and 
the eldest of our young ladies bnohoo'd outright, which 
terminated, somewhat abruptly, my friend's eloquent 
entreaties, and oratorical display. 



Ml urr IX mm wnr. 



(MiAni It i\. 



Fin;* ttrainrr- .rtmi — A; — 

M i Si. U- -T.M- i . mmd 

ki« m««t — Kii«c«<on— I'Uj%uii lutirl— The nrw II i A*- 
troil ' ^ <nijr ilrbale— T 



Sai It llu* 'Irrrls cif Tri»v in qiir^l of 

lion*', mv |- A WM aoiiirx^ lint iiii|Mnl(^l iM^ar a 

rlmi . iif lniiil»-*t .1 l»y 

tall lirliil(H'ks) l>V rt liMTTV ^riMip »»f N : 'IV.j.tu , 

niiiiiiiig in a riiif^, hand in linnd. nmiMl n lial lM*luiig* 
ing to (UK* of the |wirlv, ihr olijoct ami fun of ihc 
game* iM-ing to nmko miv cif thr rnnr tnim|)lr u|Kin il : 
and if n nirrrv ' ' ronKI Im* nuaiU* to ' «»n 

hiM own « « f/f /««///'-. llu-ir 1 h ^^miitl Im* 

coiiipli ir. ( I'*s4' III ilti** nl«Tr^ iahii}{r 

t' r . h<* ■««-4-tn< (1 Iti «iij«i\ ili< ( «|nilr as niurh 

af« iIk' U>> , :iii<l tliiMi^li III tlid nni j«iin in iIm* «l.ini i 
round the hnl. \ir hnd 'Mt Itnld iif a hugr rmnul 
pavitr '- f^nr, whirh U* ;.. . killcn wuidd a 

hall ui niiiMrd, lirlwmi thr lntr |>.iwm hilinp il iviUi 
the nuic. of hit mouth, ilu-n Idling n|» hi* hnu** round 
*• Kv'n for joy hr Iwiikit ni Vai." 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 145 

Knowing the savage and morose nature of the bull- 
dog, I was much amused at his playfulness. A cart- 
horse broke loose, came galloping down the street, the 
boys ran out of his way, the bull-dog's ire was roused 
at this interruption ; he made an abortive effort to 
seize the horse by the nose ; the horse kicked at him, en 
passant ; the bull-dog pursued him in a rage ; the boys 
pursued them both, crying, " Go it, Ty ! Hurra, Ty I" 
&c., and the whole pack of them vanished round a 
corner. I turned towards the grave-yard, from which a 
vagrant wind wafted the loathsome, rank, and abomin- 
able smell of hemlock, henbane, and ratsbane. I 
fled the pestilential air, and wished the Trojans 
would prove their Eastern origin by weeding their 
fathers' graves, and planting flowers thereon. A 
grave-yard, take it what way you will, is an un- 
plcasing spot to find in the midst of a city, but a neo:- 
lected grave-yard, breathing of aceldama, in such a 
situation, is a stain upon the breast of humanitv. 

Took the railway to Borough. In the same car, sat 
a very fat and facetious gentleman, in great good hu- 
mour with all men, especially the government men — 
he had just received a civil commission of some im- 
portance ; even the sun shone out so gloriously upon 
him, that he was fain to hoist an umbrella out of the 
window, to protect his honoured head from a coup de 
soleil ; but the conducteur, or clerk of the check, 
made our stout gentleman draw in his umbrella, and, 
shortly after, I resigned my seat to the melting swain. 
Got into the canal-boat, in which, for the novelty of 
the thing, I wished to take a short voyage ; the cap- 
tain, or master, of the boat soon made his appearance 
on deck, and bade the passengers look out for bridges. 
The track-line was soon fastened to the horses, and 

H 



l46 UfC t^ T'ttC WCtT. 

^wwy «• fplMhcd, ■• fkft m i^^ ^ --: i. i ttic 

iMb through the murr. Thr cipiain, & u h 

SMnpiun looking man,' with a tioop in hii ^. ^tr% 

and A bttki p«tr — fbr* though in the prime of hfp, he 
had got rid of hit hair, pn>l>«l>ly hv nibbing hti bead 
againM the ' g of the boat and the brid^ea. I Ic 
hrg«n, |)cn in hami, to lakiMloun our name*, a matter 
of cmj peHbnnaDcr, the paMtngrn being oolj aeven 
in all— ^ gvcat big behemoth in hlark wat callril the 
epiaeofial Biibop of ^ .ont— a : wight; he 

read the papers ^tn fint to laat, adrertiaeaiafita, and 
birtha, deaths and marriaget ; a certain ffprightlj 
ladjr, who decUred, alood, her abhorrence of the Lng* 
lifth, who did not dare penectite anr other nalioo* 
MTe the ChiiBcae« reminded of the fart, br lieing 
aaked to make tea at breakfast ; her com|ianioo«, 
thin \tx s eii' rcailing, alter- 

I. int of Dow, jun. The captain rn- 

Irrrtl thii ladvV name in vurh a ningiilar orthagra|4ij, 
that L copied it; "Mtw— Thigh— Er»a— l*«v." Then 
came a httle Ijufv fr|)r}- -looking man, hopping about 
hii wile, a flauntingly-dr^ - -! old woman, who Ml 
with great dignity in the imut a' cabin, while her good 
g' proceeded, with riogiikr leal and many de^ 

mooscratioof of joy, to act fieforr her, upon a fpidar 
table, what I took to be a great •tone, but, on doatr 
it k, pn»%rti to br only a iponge— and why* or 

«^ .1 rouUl I. <*. 'Iliit man aderwaidf 

rcbukctl mc wii)i ingratiliide, Yery much to m? tor- 
prite, a« 1 had nerer had the f« 'iritv nf <retng bun 
|^r„.^ We fpoke about the H*^- ^.,ip-oPrar; 

•lir luul jiift returned from the MruucrraiMao, whcrr I 
had Man har and boanSed her, one fine day, at 
Touloo. ** You IbfftI who plaead you on bftard that 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 147 

frigate, sir," said the little gentleman, looking at me 
very disdainfully. " I received little assistance," I re- 
plied; "in fact I did not need any, for the hand- 
ropes and ladder were let down — and — " " Ah, grati- 
tude ! gratitude !" sighed the old gentleman. And 
well he might sigh and groan, having mistaken me for 
a middy, who got a snug berth on board the crack 
frigate through this diplomatic agent's assistance. I 
found this gentleman more agreeable and intelligent 
afterwards. He had a farm near Whitehall, upon 
which he was retiring to spend the rest of his days, 
far from the busy hum-drum of life. Speaking of 
agricultm-e and manure, he said he remembered the 
time when all the manure in Troy and Albany was 
thrown into the river, the wiseacres not knowing how 
to dispose of it in any other way. 

The number of low wooden bridges on this canal ren- 
der it particularly unsafe and unpleasant, especially as 
there is no alternative between sitting cooped up in the 
cabin,or running the risk of having one's brains knocked 
out on deck ; but even the ladies prefer the post of 
danger, and there is a perpetual ducking of heads, and 
sprawling about on all fours, while the man at the helm, 
or the captain, keeps singing out — " Bridge ! — mind 
the bridge !" We had just passed by a poor helpless 
labourer, lying on his face on the track-way, and the 
boatmen, taking it for granted that he was drunk, and 
an Irishman, began pelting him with potatoes, one of 
which struck the poor wretch in the side, and he 
threw up his arm with a convulsive motion. I called 
out to the men to desist, and the steersman's reply was 
unique : " Zay, when you find me drunk on the 
road, you may pelt me with stones and potatoes." 

While this conversation was going on, I was on my 

h2 



14^ Llil. IN 1 "t ^w *T, 

Irgi» uti Hhc ucck, aiui Uu ui &i tt* 

i it, r ' UmI it ll*c tUJOi OQ tlw 

»borr : in »hun. 1 iiacl • " unMOion (uiik oo 

jii oiic < ti iftid* «• be triMlcrrtl 

hb Mnitaoce« ^ 

hi* imvcllinft bag, * tHP — " N 

hurt \.v the bridge — not i^ . uu aid aiid 

an... 4 »•» '"I'^ined !•• »^"»» ntii*n-. 

Wcdmii'iu*!*.! aiVN..... ..«.. ....eleven at !»•''' -'^'^ 

even* houne, »ave the Uiyr nuiibling hotel, «c 5iui>|i^tj 
at, bein^ »htit up, 1 fianed a wretched night, without 
n leal aid. Next 

tti 

tiTc « ^ to a|>|)lv it» mv ii«-»*l, 

finallf bletl nie in the arni, and a(lvLM.*il luc to . 
a-hcad to Hurlingtoo, and gt-t leccbca, aixl applv tl 
to the temple* ; and, being »R<ntrrf| tlicrc wan no ti.. 
tun . T went on board thefpK ....... tfteanier, ** Burling- 
ton ann in a aling, head tied up. and in dulrtui 
di .lu«t as we were leaYing the wharf, my fat 

m ;Ucer niftlie<l t\o\^ n the wluuf, bag in luuni, and 

M< tout- V. pluni^ du\«n into 

water, and diia{ipcan-4l. I'lu- ci wAfi »(op(H*tl. 

and the ptjor ^nideinan reiK*ur<l from hu \x 
»ituati<>n. Ilr hail caught hold of the paddle-- 
and narrowW e«ca|ied lieing broken to piecm; hi» Hat 
and {irivale corre*'*''""^M)ce were foiuul floating <*:; 
aiMi when he wan un '>^ in the ca{>tain*0 clothes, he 
waxed merrr «gain« ^' he had been ** welling hit 

lion." Our ui« n deck wan »ingular 

A few lioum |wi -wr hud 

f tartctl in .; in < ° 

; now %ir iiiet u|Mm i) 
•tt> / rnou^li. having liar .\*v%\ i» . 



LIFE IX THE WEST. 149 

our lives, and only wantinp; a Methodist preacher to 
improve upon the occasion. The situation of Whitehall, 
surrounded with swamps, must be particularly un- 
wholesome, though, from a height above the town, the 
view of the lake is said to be exceedingly picturesque. 
Verily I shall not forget Whitehall, and the canal and 
the bridge as connected therewith, for some time. 

The Burlington is fitted up like a pleasure-boat — 
everything in apple-pie order; the captain's office 
uniquely adorned with coloured French prints of the 
" Loves and Graces," mirrors, and varnish glass door 
handles, bell-pulls, buhl, ormolu, and marquetiere -par 
tout ; then the captain's private sitting-room, upon 
the promenade deck, with its light summer curtains, 
festooned about the windows, its luxurious rocking- 
chair and crimson sofas ; even the spit-boxes were or- 
namental and useful, being converted into flower-pots, 
half filled with clav, and a vouno; jrrowth of miijnio- 
nette and tongue-grass. The weather was delightful, 
and the shores of the lake extremely picturesque. 

Burlington, — Here 1 quit the boat for the town ; 
the shore seems all in a bustle, the militia and 
volunteers, and their bands, crashing away, much to 
my confusion, as I calculated upon resting a few days 
in sweet tranquillity in this town ; but independence, 
eve and day, must be celebrated with a vast deal of 
noise, it seems, even here. Drive up to the principal 
hotel and secure a g-ood bed-room — sallv forth to look 
for leeches, and find but one in the whole town — buy 
that one, and apply him to my right temple — call 
upon a certain medico, called Hatch. The good man 
cupped me upon the back of the neck two or three 
times, and I feel much better, Dieu merci ; so, please 
the fates, I'll disappoint the rats a little longer, malgre 



1^ urt Di ram watr. 

the »hi>atitic uf iha boji, ibe bkiwiog us uunu, 
eiplcMiot) of pop-goM aod ptcadi io the tqiiOT 
bribre our cioor. Being cut down « ftood deal with 
blrrdmiK, And cuppinir. and Iccchina, ■• I Mt in my 
window, wiih •• "f » tmT • R* •p •! th*" door, 

tod the !)• icM a ull, vrrr udl grnilcmMi icood 

bribmiir. I ic Mid hii Udic* inMlcd be iboold caD 
and we the tick ttnuiger, and offnr may aaftUtAnce in 
their power. 1 thanked him, &c., and cocnplimcnu beinft 
paaed, he redrod. That cTening I rrcri^rtl Mimlry 
boctlca of c a t cD c ca , and prrfumea, and rr«tonuivra 
fimn thU amiable iamilY, and in the morning, what I 
Talued more, aoine ! m ; but it if onlv thoae 

who have been smitten down upon the bed of liek* 
Dca» in a fdange Und can apprrciaic mich f On 

receiTing thoae flowcim I waked, ai it were, from a 
lethariric dream, mt heart wai lo full, and mv head ao 
boay, with one thought — '* How tludl I return thanks 
to thb amiable fiuailj 'f* — that I Memed to have for- 
^ T wM an innditl, and foriml to walk, adviaed 

to ftav in nir rt»ni, in a n ' poaifion, I»y my 

leech. I my dothea, and aallietl forth, walked 

right up il 1 tt» the et»llnrr, enicrrtl a meadow, 

1 ,.l<*l down upon the lovi tile town, the ninaet 
l.,^. , * ved the dim ihadowt aii<) ^r,fkv Tw*ak« of the New 
York nuMiniaiiw on the oppo* .* , towering away 

• » the clear ' ' *ky ; wuj I%*ji4;tii grry ••had in her 
^r livery all (iiinga cUd," err 1 rttumcd to mtf»e 
ma rock and I % an a hunter. 

igton b decidedly thr |> <>t A' m 

t %tn I h«ve aeen. 1 •"•! iree« in il;« 

ana fl..^* riogal. rr ll>e ilt-Tt ol 

l^ lir,n%r* 1t(?ht fCOop and fancy colooaailaa,a: 
air of «t".* i i.4AUieai about frrrvttiinir, cpeakt of 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 151 

piness and contentment. A farewell visit to my kind 

friend, who accompanies me down to the steam-boat ; 

he has been sojourning at Burlington with his family, 

and returns to Boston, his native city, in a few days. 

Leave Burlington with regret; the people of the 

hotel have been exceedingly kind and attentive. 

Embark in the Whitehall steamer for St. John's, 

where we arrive at seven in the morning. The 

British fort at the head of the lake, with the sentries 

stalking backwards and forwards, has a singular effect, 

and one is inclined to exclaim — " What, in the name 

of fate, is worth guarding so closely in the desolate 

swamps and underwood of all the region round about 

St. John's?" — the custom-house officers declare we 

are once more on the soil of our sovereign lady the 

Queen ; and truly a more wretched, miserable town in 

a swamp, is not to be found in the British dominions. 

Breakfast, and start for Montreal, bv railroad and 

steam-boat, and arrived at that venerable old town in 

the midst of a storm of hail, rain, and wind, such as 

one might expect to find in Nova Zembla in April, 

rather than in Montreal in July. 

Start in a coach, followed and preceded by a *"•' caval- 
cade of coaches," to La Chine. Embark on board a 
steamer, and mount the St. Lawrence, against wind 
and tide ; my fellow-passengers are lumberers, gentle- 
men, who have just returned from Quebec, where they 
have disposed of their rafts for less than the cost of the 
labour, not to speak of risk and loss of time piloting 
said rafts down the rapids. They say there is a glut 
of timber in the market, and the timber is perfectly 
unsaleable. So much for lumbering. The harsh 
and sour conversation of those gentlemen betokened 
disappointment, and timber, sticks, logs, and blocks 



IdS urs DC ruE wwn. 

rrc({ueotlv -••"♦-"*rd iheir •fgumcuu. One u ; 

wager a cicAi (!.^i»> to a pine lo^ ; atiolbrr, thrrc tlcal 

boaida, • * ' 1 at the mouth of tococ jaw-brrakuig 

; auU lutig beibrv wc rrachcd Pn-icoK, whole 

a ol>' <• optniunn. I ob- 

tigrants crawling aA in cAn)c»t 

a amall fttcanicr in our wake. I'pon K* r 

<!f t k •«tood tereral prieals and clcricoti their heads 

...(•d with the venerable booneta tiet prHrrg^ and 

;..iir long, hUrk rentinentu streaming in the wind. 

*^ It is Ilia lordship the bUhop," said a tall, severe- 
l«K)lin^ Menian in black, upon whose braj< n. 

i^ lirow, well-«iliaved blue chin, dim, briik- 
ri)lf>tirctl i close, liplc^M niuuth. t)i< 

' >ni Jctuit V V n'sd as (luMigh it had bc< n 

in b'. n* ill fnh — " i 

, . he to (he ( ;a springs t< ; 

the lienefit of bin health.** naid (hit luf\y and |>om|)ous 
ri. n'-*!, to the mlmir...^ ^^^wp ^^ men, %vomen. «!»•! 
t uiiuren ; while they expressed their admiration luui 
surprise, turning up their eyes, like ducks in thuiHl- 
and - ftirth a variety of singular lounda, aueto 

as our coarhinrn cheer on (he lu^^ widi. 

" !(*ii a resl bl<«hop € v,** mud one devout < M 

wumaii. 

** Jick, jick, *^ tlie rest of the mm* 

women, and cK 1 heavenly man, with 

hi* liair streaming, like a hank of vam, over his ahouU 
(!' rs, in the witid, ami his whij»(men(s furling about 
hi« precious limlNL** 

** Oh, ntotbtr, mother!— Unk .«: inA ml %uh i.u^ 

• d a bov. 
•• \\ I ~ whisht, you '• .1. i^juartl. i ^ tl.r 

gat r rUrgy and ' 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 153 

condescendingly he waves his arm, turning to his 
deacons and coadjutors, from right to left. (Omnus, 
' Jick, jick, jick ! Thisk, thisk, thisk !') Now they 
present him with the book ; he's going to do his office 
before the wide world, on the bare deck — (here the 
party devoutly cross themselves) — but the wind, bad 
manners to it ! turns over the leaves faster than he can 
read ; he must go below to do his office, more is the 
pit3\ He returns the book, and now the coadjutor 
with the long nose presents his superior with a round 
box, and the superior presents the box to the bishop, 
making a curtshey at the same time. The bishop 
receives it." 

" Why does he rap the box with his knuckles, 
mother ?" 

" What's that to you — don't be exposing your 
ignorance af the saremonies of your church ! Now he 
opens the lid, the wind whisks something into the 
dear man's eye. The bishop sneezes ; the coadjutor 
sneezes ; the pious man with the book sneezes ; the 
holy man with the green bag sneezes ; the tall father 
with the big umbrella sneezes ; the devout disciple in 
the cloak and green spectacles sneezes ; the man at 
the wheel lets out his hoult, and sneezes. God bless 
them all— {* Thisk, thisk, thisk !')— and may they 
have a pleasant passage up the Ottawa. Thisk, thisk, 
thisk ! Amen." 

Ao-ain we scramble out of the steam-boat into the 
coaches, and jolt along the picturesque banks of the 
St. Lawrence, catching glimpses of the famous rapids. 
Meet a coach laden with passengers downwards bound, 
and the stiff clerico who has seated himself in our 
coach recognises some friends; to one of these, a 
smart old gentleman, our clerico particularly addresses 

H 3 



154 UFt w rue wtar. 

hia«U^ idling him that he thould recollect iHai he 
wag the frther of a •.. ▼< 

** Vou are grnnv lo ^take oate, tir: and 

a]irav« trmen.^. voa have now a wife and &miW at 
home ;" hut he altered hb tune when a light . fprightlj 
little danael put her tool oo the ilep of the coach* 
dour, and ahook hi» ' end hand, while ht» u f ar c D ce, 
modulating his roicv like a tucking dote, l>eggrd to 
— ** When do }*ou return to u», my dear ?^ '* N«'i 
for a month— a kmg* long month** — ** Ah, don*t »av fo, 
mT dear giri, tou are going to a citj,** kc. 

The coachmen cut thi» billing and cooing iliort— 
and once more, m rouie to the forte at Coteau. Hen 
we tee tereral cannons f great guns too) lerring 
at curfj rtooet bj the road-aide ; arms broken off, aiKl 
rendered unfit lor terTice hv the valiant coomandar 
of thin furt during the late e in CanadiL 

This man caoaed sever '. and other ftocea 

to be thruwn into the rapids below the furt, for wbirli 
mcritorioos action I h(»{>e he has been justly rewani 

CoCeau-dc-Lac: here we get into the steaux . 
again, and steam up I^e Sc« Francis, against a bitter 
cold wind ; find the people belonging to the steam- 
boat remarkablj undril to the pasaengera, and the 
tone of bosliHly assumed truly dii^giifting ; fur my 
<iwn part, I always carry with mc a paw par-tout, aiMi, 
oooe established in good (piartt !>, maIIv forth, aikd go 
to and fns in steam-boat or hotel, on Uiul ur wn: 
making my own o b ae r r a t U ms vary quietly ; and though 
I seldom or erer iutcriere in what does not concern 
me, ielt inclined to ospouse the cause of two CaiUKlian 
girls, who had unwittingly broken through some of 
tha many rtiles and regulations plaoudad about the 
boat, such as «* Deck paasmgsn not p a rml t u d aA of 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 155 

the shaft," " Gentlemen will w^alk this way," " Deck- 
passengers beware," &c. Those confounded steamers 
always remind me of enormous rat-traps, in w^hich even 
the lords of the creation may be caught, and " done 
for," even if they escape blowing up, and par-boiling. 

Coaches again. What a horrible jolting and truly 
fatiguing day's journey we have had, and now pro- 
ceed, at a snail's gallop, to Dickenson's Landing, a 
miserable, bleak, wretched spot, where wc huddled on 
board a steamer encore, and tumbled into our berths 
under the wholesome impression that our steamer is 
safely moored by the swampy bank for the remainder 
of the night. 

Brockville : I like the appearance of this Httle town 
passing well. The church and chapel bells were 
ringing, and the good folks marching devoutly to 
divine service. I had some thoughts of following 
their good example, when the shrill ringing of the 
steam-boat Ijcll recalled me. I rushed to the shore, 
and malgre my haste, was within a rope's end oi 
being left behind with the good people of Brockville. 
And now we threaded our course through the lake oi 
1000 Isles, of every shape and size, some heavily 
timbered, others affording pasture to herds of cows 
and horses ; while ever and anon, the white front ot a 
settler's house peered out of the dark woods on the 
right bank of the lake shore ; and at last the fort and 
ruined barracks of Kingston or Cataraqui became 
visible, and we were soon gladly jumping on the 
wharf or steam-boat landing-place of the new capital 
of the two Canadas. 

The appearance of Kingston, with its permanent 
stone houses, treeless streets, and narrow lanes, re- 
minded me of an Irish town in the vicinity of a good 



n.i 



136 ura IN run 

•UNW qwvn ; tbr mudl cloar» and window*, aiid dote, 
conAnMl froai» u( the InMmes ffivr the toveu a gioonj 
■p^ xc nreo in soaunrr ; «im1 the ton thioimr out, 
•I lapt, I liiggrti thitMi;:h t\w bruiltng stfrrU, - . ^.n^ 
an hotrl, or bcMurtliiig-buti<ir. The bert boCcl «ra» full 
ol* Mcmbcri of ilic lloutr of AmuMy; mod iht 
tceood best oould onlv affunl oic a bed in a double* 
bedded room. '^^. i)>c | Miner who carried mv 

wm a >' • r in the pUct-, though he yrt' 
I be was v d ** with cYenr hole and 

r in Kiiig^tcti." At all • >, he Meoied deter- 

mined to make nu* actjuainted with e^err out<of-thc-> 
\«a}- comer in the place, till at last, loaing patience, I 
made him de|xiait my bac"^'/** at the comer of the 
square, before the eyes of m: \ l r^ loungenand loaiere, 
and a: / tu the bjnanden fur information, wa.% 

tu an inn, or piihlic-houM\ k< an Italian. 

^- ^nie high, ftooe ttejt^. I \«a- . d at the 

a dark -eyed little Vcnuis \« illi a child in her 
•reined to be wilt n abeaaid 1 it»uld 
I. ive a bed-room all to mjaelC 1 liaaleoed to M:nd 
for my baggage, and wat toon in»tallcd in a very 
tolerable apartment, commanding a view of the pig«, 
(i<igii, and chickeiui in the back yard; three old 
»lrif<bs a guudly pile of finwood, aiul a |)ent houte at 
vmtU <x>n)c-r. !• j fi'\t-ri»h and iiuigtied, I (umixl 
in at ooce and alei*! like a watchman, till the afore»aid 
little maiden ki 1 at mv door and ii. (I 

iia aiit to aieep all day. 1 aMurrd her 1 did nut ; 
jumped u|i, looked at my watch, and tbund I liad 
liren in the arma of Morpheu* much longer than I 
•up)iu0cd. BrrakfiM waa over, and while another 
tra-|ioC and chop were prrfiahiuv T walked into the 
parlour, or tit lingfoouii ica ' !uruAibtd wiihbrokaa 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 157 

sofas, cracked chairs, and a fragment of dubious-look- 
ing carpet ; two country gentlemen, farmers, sat close 
to the window, watching the singular motions, and 
attending to the sayings and doings of a little man 
with a very red, brick-dusty coloured face — sweeping 
profile, reminding me of that of George the Third, as 
still seen upon venerable halfpence — while his body, at 
variance with the roj^al pomp of his face, tapered 
awav down to the heels in a vast, green, Newmarket 
coat, with brass buttons, almost concealing the tight 
nankeen continuations that covered his shrunken 
shanks ; and his feet, lost in a pair of long-heeled, 
yellow shppers, seemed to be pinned loosely to the 
tail of his coat. At a little distance, he looked like a 
kingfisher ; in his hand he twirled playfully a staff, 
like the handle of a sweeping-brush — at one end of 
which, dangled a key of no small dimensions. This 
prudent gentleman, thought I, is resolved to carry 
the key of his bed-room door attached to his walking- 
stick, or mayhap he is grand chamberlain to the 
Governor, or carries the key in his office as grand " 

" Do you want this, sir ?" said the kingfisher, pre- 
senting his staff and key to me, with a bow. 

I declined the offer with much surprise, and the 
honourable member, for such I soon discovered him 
to be, wearied with perambulating the room, sat down 
between the two farmers. 

" You want to hear the debates, yon do ; well, I'll 
post ye convenient to the reporthers." (Here the 
farmers return their hearty thanks for the honour &c.) 
" Never mind, don't'thank me, don't say another word ; 
sure it's my duty to accommodate my constituents. 
You have accommodated me, so I must accommodate 

YOU." 



158 UFS IV 

** And ytmll mto far the otw roadr «yd oot of 
iIm eoMiitucnu. 

•* And g«f at A bridfe f Mid llw ocbsr. 

*« Ka«T — be easy T Hud the hooonnble kntflit of 
the tuff and krj, vboie fpecch bcinjcd hk Mik«AO 
citrBciion. ** Let mr alooc.** ( Puts bis fii^rr to bb 
DOM, ftod tnnlu.) *« I U nxd aod bridge j«.* (Manj 
pfpiwmiopi of thanks umI rxtariMl wyn L) '^ Fm the 
bc^ fur i*^ roiUmy* 

"^ iile this cooTrnatiao wae otff^riiif on, I ub « f Ted 
a roood, m, in a blooK, and broad-Wlcd, palm 

bat, bum-itttr to and fro aboat the hall, with a bundle 
uf old tit ^^a{irni under bis ann, and exclaiming as 
be looked into boles and corner*— 

- Oil cat U— Diable, od Mt il! Saoe bleu, ou cat il 
all^« Non de Dieu, oil cat il icw. immo de Dieti, 
o6eatiir 

At Umi one of tlic c nn a tituentt U M UH M rt e d to the 
honoormble member, that the Frvoehaian wm looking 
Cbt aomething that the Mid member IukI in hia poa- 



** Ix-t him Itx>k for it," replied the little >LP.. dis- 
dainfully ; ** be belongs to the noisy r*^— -^•lioo.'' 

But the member of the noisy oppuuuoo soon en* 
trrrd the parlour, and forthwith made a batty exit, 
with the staff and krv which the Kii^Miar fttabtr 
pranilcd to him, cuullv uUrrrin^ «" I aae what ytm 
are {»Uing for — 1 brlieve you are looking for tbiiL* 

Sally to view ^n, cmM the eknay 

wooden bridge, ( paying a heavy toll \ aseend the black 
and barren bill, 6rom widch the old fort and ruined bar- 
rv-k —- ".'nl to grin defuinoe at the town ; but the 
ttcw ui iuv Uke an«l the siii|>piQg-«bar^ dock-yard^ 
bridge, tbg-alaAb ->t woodi» 611 u[> the 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 159 

picture, well worth clambering the walls of the fort 
to look upon. 

The seat of government having been recently re- 
moved to Kingston, Messieurs, the speculators, have 
set to work — " lots have risen'' — and carpenters', stone- 
masons', and tradesmen's hammers make the welkin 
ring. Indeed, the stone-masons and their men render 
walking through the streets not merely unpleasant, 
but dangerous — fragments of stone and splinters flying 
about in every direction. 

Visit the house of Assembly : a large, airy building 
at some distance from the town, commanding a fine 
view of the lake, and admirably situated for an hos- 
pital ; for such it was built and occupied, until the go- 
vernment, in its wisdom, converted it into a House of 
Assembly, sending the invalids to the right-about. 
It is said the house is occupied by the legislature pro 
tern,, and the good people of Kingston have not time 
to be sick, now the tide of statesmen, civil officers, and 
hangers-on have been poured upon them. Ascending 
the stairs I entered the lobby of the house and stran- 
gers' gallery — a portion of the house railed off for 
strangers and the press. The honourable members, 
particularly the noisy opposition, mustered strong, 
the debate was both warm and interesting, as it con- 
cerned the elections, and affected the seats of several 
members, against whom petitions had been presented 
— some of the petitions being sent up too late, others 
too early. The speaker or chairman had a hard card 
to play — indeed he looked exceedingly uncomfortable 
in his gown and white gloves. As the debate progressed, 
his face became flushed, and he looked, as some one near 
me remarked, " sharp and excited." Sir Allan M*N — b, 
with his shrewd Scotch face, and shining bald pate. 



100 ! . mi 

Mi»u iubeMtaiilie 

table with tomt nomj brmwlen, attcnpcbig to ferm m 

third pAftV, I "trtr-TW nf Jmtif Mi/im. TH«' Krmrh- 

men •rem trn^i^* i^^i w,.; by tbc new rr." 
■11 »|)crcbr« in that boutr tnuit be dcutc.vu ..i luv 
Qucrii'« LnglUh; ami irvcnd hoooonblt 'trmm 
Cnioi the ! e lal ' h*iti 

thenMelvcf v uid ■■ ioua— capcciaiW uid 

Moiwirur Vi^r. who aMiiicd to be ally oa bk 

Icgi— C' iic iipeakrr^t ear — taking impostng 

powtiont, like an old wfolirt df dlsMrmoritig a mtntiet, 
«tifw.r4. gesticulation aMrtiting bit nif«grr ki. f 

Lt i, an occasional cacape of Frt im:1. ... 
b* ^ - - from a blow-upi, as, n^c an imjm. 

Ii liarocflKd to a niperb old cabriolet, uc 

Uijourrvi t ' Virr tlir boiite« 

— A%lv 

to wirt ibctr 1 > ul the Trra- 

•urv '>r^ l»r*jiin lo <lole forth iHrir • >- 

U . , ^ in an n 

tongue, and onler and •ilencr was rr|vatr<llv bawkd 
out ; another »lcnder gr**'^- Mian, in ligbt yellow «»<;«. 
kcn^ followed, and tuuMiV aanirpd Uf bit »mm a 
maiden speech (tmalyrr ' " .v whiskers)— b( t on 

h« tig and Stat rukedown in a«)i»^aruple 

IMirni thesis, got up again with a in>|»e, (hri -.« h::ikK*If 
on tbe campaaMoo of tlie house, and Mink down in a 
n. i-handed - . in a transport of 

awl. 

" Vmx Dieu," said a C^anadian near me. ** dt« Knr)t«h 
must be one bmgue lort dtticulc^de EngliUi • •! 
speak it drniselvet, and dej mit de Frtnrb mutt ^ k 
it iot detn " 

JkllOO* ^' ' 'i (Ui.'ti-.rr "r^r= r:< al difplaj— tbc l>ui»T 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 161 

Billy Jonstone, clamouring against Sir Allan and the 
opposition ; his rough wit and sledge-hammer elo- 
quence smiting both friend and foe at random. Ano- 
ther )[)ackwoodsman followed this learned member's 
steps, he attempted to imitate Jonstone, lost the 
thread of his argument, got into a quagmire of doubt, 
floundered about, got back to the original stump from 
which he started, and kept on hallooing that " the 
majority should be protected from the minority," till 
his hearers became, like himself, confused with listen- 
ing to such bullfrogish balderdash, and man}^, like 
myself, cut and run before midnight. 

During the debate, I observed the honourable M.P. 
of the staff and key : he pretended to be very busy, 
whisking about the house, whispering to the mem- 
bers, calling out "order," and "hear — hear — hear," 
like an old hunter w ho smelt a fox. He had posted 
his constituents where they might have posted them- 
selves — among the strangers. I thought he was both 
noisy and idle, though perhaps he was busily employed, 
/o^-rolling the while, for his constituents. 

This morning at breakfast I heard sundry surmises, 
doubts, and fears, concerning last night's debate, and a 
brawl or uproar that had broken out somewhere in the 
rear of our hotel — our slumber had been broken at the 
*^dead of night," by cries of "Help ! rascals ! murder !" 
&c. No one knew from whence those cries proceeded, 
or where the row had taken place, save the honourable 
Mr. Kingfisher. He had nearly finished his meal in so- 
lemn silence, was coquetting with his fourth egg and 
some white fish, when, clearing his voice, he gave us 
to understand that the brawl occurred just as he re- 
turned from the House of Assembly, fatigued, and 
over-laden wdth the cares of state. 



162 tire nr niB 



*' Then, perhB|», nr/ taid « rottng Mow, winking 
At anoibcr, ** jou had the good lurtunc, the ftV-'r r 
vitnMi, and prrhapi mm, at that row jounriL 

^ What do joQ mean, fir," rrtortcd the little mem- 
)m r, angrilv. ** Is it me, you mean to mj, hcli^rd to 
kirk n;» a row— a row tliat, I e, originated in 

tl.a! low yrwiw in the lane, at .* A iboat of 

!au;;h(cr in(rmi|)ted the little member*! lame eTnhina* 
1. ill, during which he got upon hi* lega, and ...::.«. o 
out of the room, his (ace glowing like a rvd-hot firr- 
ihoreL 

Tlib s|)lrn<ii(l dav i took a long walk wiili a .Soiicl>- 
man, : Iv nrrived from the land o* cake« ; he is in 

••St ot a lirewtTV. llf «av» the |H>ople of Kingston 
ought to drink ^imnI uh< )]•-•>' •inr !»rcr and ale, instead 
uf the vile tm.**)! |nit otT ujMin tlicm fur pure malt and 
hups. TIm- rir>i brewery we entered, seemed to be a 
vcn- ^Vv cunccni, yet here we met with a sour rebuke. 

* .".., ' Aaid (he 29cot, to the brewer, ** I undcnttand 

ti want to dispose of your brewery?" *• Sir," re- 

•d the brewer, ** when I do, I'll let vou k ' ! 

• !i he marched in high di ' ' 'llie lievil takt 

( irmano,** said the S that put me < n 

the wrong scent" NV. r brewers, with the 

same succcai ; save and eicipting that some of the 
brewers were a little more compUisant, though one of 
them told me, he lielieved I was no friend to the 
brewer, because I could not swallow some of ).> 
hravy-wet The land about K • m i* Uiih light 
and bad ; and skirting the Uke, U i» little U'tter than 
a pitie barren. The g ^ bouae is nicely lo- 

catnl on the hike,ooiiN< . m to the peti 

I a Itif i Scot lie V 

had just i ght deal board h< wm s. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 163 

The men were employed by the government, and the 
women were washing their clothes and children. I 
asked several of them if they had bought any land ; 
they said they had not, and betrayed most lamentable 
ignorance, not one of the lot knowing the name of the 
vast lake before them. But this did not surprise me 
much, as we have a wealthy Yorkshireman and his 
wife at our hotel, as ignorant of the country as the 
babes in the wood. Thev bore us to death with 
stupid and unmeaning questions. They expect to 
find shingle palaces in the woods, and sugar trees, and 
apple trees, and peaches, and all sorts of fruit trees, 
and Indian corn, growing wild ; and wild turkeys as 
easily caught as. tame ones, and, I verily believe, if a 
Yankee told them it rained " striped pig" in the back 
settlements, they would believe him — voyons, voyons. 
Visited the dock-yard and the House of Assembly 
once more, whore the debate seems as hot as ever ; re- 
turn to the hotel, and find my host and the Scott dis- 
puting about the brewery question. Signor Carmano 

insists he never told the Scot that Mr. had a 

brewery to sell, while the Scot accuses him of a trea- 
cherous memory, and offers to make a bet about it, and, 
finally, both agree to settle the matter, by tossing up a 
coin of the realm for a Ijottle of porter. The Scot 
wins it — and our host produces the London stout, 
grumbling at his ill-luck. He says he has been a sol- 
dier, and fought under Wellington at the Peninsular 
War. By birth he is a Sicilian, and by what turn of 
the wheel of fortune he was set down here, on the wilds 
of Canada, T could not learn, though he undertook 
to relate his history, and in such a variety of tongues 
and garbled and unconnected way — one moment 
charging the French — then reverting to the gran 



164 urt ns Tuc vcrr. 

tiUjiMcia of hU nwrnsg^ with a teniMynt — moon 
— ^^:,.., |,p Vc» —then !'••-'•-- •• NVltoo bv 

the ucvik ami bcrl»--wuicing a taimnngu \» i An- 

(iilti»tan nuud — Celling at about tbe petf 

i and dear >anioii — bk brare oomrm..* , 

> rubbed him of his hard-<-an)rtl caah— ran ■■ v. . 
to liuffaio became a great man — wherr **be walk 
abotii ihc coffin roomi'* — ''•moke him jiipe*— " liffht 
biro •egar'*»-while I, — I, ihc pride of our rrfnmeni — 
the povoro diarolo— I am the |>oor devil now— work, 
work, work, in mv dirty old shirt slecrea, not time to 
shave — per bacco, earaccu, caramba, cospelto.** And 
here our host indulged in a i - t of strange oaths; 
he had already takcMi (he lioo*s share of the {xirter, and 
now regaled hirn.«elf with ^ h niellrd hit 

.My that, when he ! . .. l>v u :it* 

n|>on one* of ihe clops he caught hini up in hii» nmi*. 
hugged hini, and calling hint hv all the endc 

namea, in the four laiu' , , u-scnte*! the lumj., 

"^'!. half-blind, bloated ciu tu ihc 2>col, as his lamb, his 
>jitcp, his fanciula, &c. : nlated tl»e dogV biMorA—he 
IumI !> ' -«-d to a renowncil captain, who l)oanled and 

• •' Canuii captain knew the value 
«*t the- d. • flid l»c, uhrn he hcaitl tluit 

* >? r ! hi<« dog to his host, 
in lieu of fMivin^ hi* bill, on |< ^ the hotel. Ano- 
ther cur was, in like maimer, firaiiietl ; he was lame 
of a leg, and luid been scalded in the kitchen; but, 
f--!«idering that he was a prrm-nt from another friend 
ut the houM% lie was allow e<l to dwindle out his 
miserable davs on a sofa, instead of Ix'ing shot, and 
|Hit cHii of |Hiin. \ ' : dog was intr to our 
nofie« a lil»rk | tmc pr t 'c ii f value * ^ 
liad not exactly ried ; xm • present alio 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 165 

from a country gentleman, who had spent a winter 
very agreeably chez Carmano. " I dare say he can 
set a leg o' mutton verra weel, when it's roasting at 
the fire ?" said the Scot. Our host now became so 
noisy, that we thought it prudent to retire, especially 
as he insisted that we should join him in a barcarolle, 
in which the dogs joined chorus, while their master, 
bottle in hand, attempted to dance el bolero. 

This morning the whole house seems to be turned 
topsy-turvy, what between the screaming of womerf 
and children, shouting and laughter of the men, howl- 
in^!^ of dogs, and smashing of glass and crockery. Leap- 
in(>- from my bed, I threw on my clothes as hastily as 
if tlic house was on fire, and rushed down stairs. I 
found everything in confusion, the floor of the sulle a 
manger strewn with the debris of cups and platters, 
glasses^ trays, and egg, chairs and tables, &c. But the 
affray, or row, was over; and I heard with regret that 
all the disturbance was occasioned In' the host himself, 
who had taken it into his head to be jealous of his 
wife. He began by ringing the dinner bell till he 
broke that noisy alarum, and having collected a goodly 
assemblage of his boarders about him to learn the 
cause of his ringing the bell in that furious manner, 
he accused some of them, and abused others, finally 
assaulted them all, and sent the whole posse to flight. 
Their flight was to him a proof of their delinquency, 
'ch\<\ being barricadoed out of Flanders by his wife, he 
dealt his daughter a blow with a trayful of tea- cups, 
and laid waste the breakfast-table ; meeting the king- 
fisher member with a blow of an egg upon the nose 
that sent him flying out of the house, and an honour- 
able doctor, who for quietness' sake stood upon the 
steps before the door reading the ncw^spaper, received 



166 urt 1% rut 

• had under the tmr i»ith m Umf of hnmd that trtit 
him fprmwliog toto the mKlcUe of the tut^L At 
iM^glh. quite exhaiHleil. our raliant hoiC nuhcd into 
•OCBC hulc io the I'^f r^ y**^ot^ mhtcrt far the pfcarat 
he Uv in prrdm^ uiu^. ui^ ^tr and *>— gkfrr rnciro- 
vourcd to miofe the house to onlcr, and rtcilcd our 
lympathj w ihrT went Mtbhing dhoot the hoof ^V>e 
of the hosfdeiv M*uir<i me ttuii the host mm mdl? 
dangcfout wlu>n thote fiti> ; and 

DOC wery loQff ago, an ma^nitme waa ao gmmky 

iMault. him, tiiat ax \u% ^iic\ r eqne a l he aent for 

the police, and had him carried to ti>c rciiitrtiiiari, 
where meeting with a man whom he had intpriKioed 
for debt, Carmano gare him a full acquittance, and 
had him discharged ibrthwiih, to the gml delist of 
the debtor, and the diaoiav of Mailame Carmaoo and 
his Ukti 

liavin|( little : to rrmain longer in the 

house of such an ohttieperout wight, I took a iaremell 
walk round Kincicon. and embarked in the a mu ncr 
for Torontn. 

Von lluiie.— llere we landed fiftv or sixtr Irish 

• • • 

'-'*- ■grants, bag and baggage, ilow thcae people in- 
teuii to get akinip I cannot divine, there arr onW two 
of the partj can speak Engiiah — the rail hoidang 
sweet coi. in the anctent Irish. 

Toronto I (A an inifttMiing front to the lake ; the 

good fieopl' r all a ig along the shore in 

SuikUt gear. r t *aggaj!L f to a alaielT 

ntffrrr. I folloared him to a very i t hotel front- 

ii.^ -..i lake. The da? waaed verr hot and opprra* 
•ive, and the house was still as a conrent — indeed, at 
llr«t I doubled if any one resided in it at all. and ftU 
the rhangi bom nom and uproar to panot and 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 167 

tilde SO powerfully, that I sallied forth, even in the 
sun, to seek the " human face divine." There is a 
listlessness about this great overgrown town, that dis- 
pleases me; even the plank footways cannot give 
elasticity to the step. One feels weighed down with 
the heavy air and drooping aspect of the people who 
have crowded into the streets and lanes of Toronto, 
and for what purpose I cannot divine, for there is little 
or no trade to induce such a swarm of people, rich and 
poor, to build up streets of two story houses here, 
instead of scattering themselves over the vast tracts of 
wild lands around them. They live huddled together ; 
and now the seat of government is removed, the good 
people of Toronto look blank enough. " It cannot be 
concealed,*' said a tradesman, " the city has been se- 
riously injured by that blow; but we must and will have 
the seat of government brought back again." Others 
pretend it is a great benefit that the seat of govern- 
ment has been taken away ; for, say they, the clerks 
and employes bought up all the good town lots at exor- 
bitant prices, but now things will find their level. 
Level enough, truly, thought I ; for the whole town is 
built on a dead flat — flat as a pancake. Not even 
Young Street, with its rich country-seats and cockney 
villas, could induce me to live in Toronto or its vici- 
nity. " I've got the ague here," said a tailor to me, 
as he took my measure ; " my wife is ill of the fever 
and ague even now, and I occupy one of the best 
houses in the best street in Toronto." Bad enough ! 
Nevertheless, the aguish tailor resolved that I should 
suffer also, for he spoiled a shooting jacket and con- 
tinuations to match, so effectually that I could not 
wear them ; and then had the impertinence to tell me 



168 UfZ IX TUB 



he was not iwrtu tii4r aji to ihc hi, brr«u«<* he took 

for A V 

PrniJiitMiiii J j::> t!.« !«.«ii, I iui«i 

I men, ax all hot I .< r.M*« •> \m n- nvrr, axmI 

tlierr arc no p !• co the dull 

•oenr. Our laide tThatr ho* «lwindlcd down to one 
relcran half>pajr olRcrr.a lank and mclancholr U'^«^ 
and mir bott; the hoMtna |irrlrni dining ufiftin - 
* - f^lC and ronvrr»ing with her noifj pairoL ** i^ ca, 
){ i had a wifr who v ' nuf i ' : to d* 

*«id the old Im!* I • .' i liick hc-r ii|», and Ict-d 

her un i\rs toast and pnirl, il.r<>ii^!i the . till 

she woidd l>eg to ttc let oiK.'* 'Ilii^ piece of 
genre being c* . ^^ the hoatem, through the 
lank lailv, the attacked the half-|iav when he lounge<l 
into her parlour at tea. She upbraided him with bin 
unkind, vile, an<l uncbariialde remarkii upon her ab- 
■ence from the dinner-lnlile, and bid him begooe about 
hi« bti^ine^. ** Hut in tnith. I don't know where to 
go," said tlie I •• Pollv. prriiv 

II'»w will the jirr.? lo night, Mr*. I* ." 

the j'trrot, -ir — go, I «uiv. Go and 

*.c on il> >T>. if Tou like, or s in the bar, 

but vou are -n* mnfi." •• Now, mv dear Mm. 

P , be rcaaonable. >.: on the ft— *-. indeed! 

drink in ibe bar! — f bate the thmigbt' uui the yaot 
devil wai ol»* * to rrtn*Mi, and 1 miw him walking 

:t in fniiit «»I ( ' \\*c with a cignr in bin mouth. 
io M \\\ iiolY a« a eat. 

I 
I waa cMii, which 1 1 

with a ftight of a new • n of hi* |iuein«. through 

an admirer nf hi« trrt lU ^t«nrh utitMhirtrr t*i« 



LIFK IN THE WEST. 109 

clever and amiable Mr. W — d, of Mona's sea-girt 
isle. 

Extracts from " Select Poems.hy Sir John Smithy LL.D. 

and P,L.y Toronto. 

" TO THE MOST CELEBRATED CAPTAIN MARRYAT, ETC. ETC.* 

" The most celebrated Captain INIarryat 

Of our day stands unrivall'd as the sun, 
Whose great fame all should wish to arrive at, 
And in his most transcendent course to run. 

" High on the pinnacle of honour and flime 

Captain Marryat is now a soaring, 

And great and exalted is his good name, 

And most widely through the world it does ring. 

" Captain Marryat's fame shines most brilliantly, 
Giving light to the whole universe wide. 
And all will remember continually 

And will look up to him as their guide." 

Bravo! Sir John; now for another aspiration:— 

" Our most dearly beloved brother, the Rev, William Case, 
Was the first person to sow the good seed 
Among the Indian and the native race, 

And for it they were in very great need," Sec. &:c. 

The chivalrous Sir John docs not confine his muse ; 
he permits her to Umd captains and methodist preachers 
to the skies, and to march to the frontier like an 
Amazon — en avant : — 

* Vu]e Captain Marryat's " Diary in America," for the poem 
upon the Ladies of Toronto. 

I 



170 ufR Pf Tire 



•tH OM mt 9oftTM«l*>rift« »Ot-»0AtT wci»rto«. 



*' I «*t/«Hi BfivH* BltXliTT J"T^miu*a tw t«r 

N\ 4 le •«%kffa Uw aimiif I joa of Eihiwi, 

A 1^4 it^ I^'iA iran m&tBtatf> hit bold ttafiil. 

For k«i wilk iW 
ForlWLKMn" 

^od ftft so w^Mii»«t •*'■« «<•■ < 

*« Lm Bradier Jootlkwi In tKe 1 
} or tbc %troofr. (lovrrrful, aod t Ltaa 

\S ill make DroUMT Jontliian foe Lit «.x.m« aloor, 
Aod Bioibcr Jomiboa iht Lmmi titll ntk opoo I ! P 

(Uliior'* Nol*.^*' If <• lo W mmdtnicod tm lit Ual Itme «f Ut 
ptrm, rial #A« I.MW vi// rid* m^om Brother Jammtkmm*' 



Midillc fur the iMiiMiill, lo NIVC ti: : JoiUllllAJi's 

back frum gnlli^il ti - the Lion'ii rough 

ruling 



AckJ viMa Im oat doUi imU abMid 
lUy 1 bt Umno 10 MO.** 



""A rotii cro« mi tiAT or otxmmurr m— Aiwot 

rftOM TMt iirV or TOSOITTO. tV TMt »AMf. 

•• rHtowciUwtof iliTily ofTwomo, 

4 aoM BM bo fngtMoo'il tad aUno'd, 
Aod IH jfoof profwfiy fot o UiiW fo. 
I Urn mb o »koll oo( U liono'a. 



** If IUmoI of fOWMMOl MU^" — ^-^ 

»* ONk ■• fo Bnitn^ 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 17 1 

" My projected improvements are as follows — 

I mean in this town to bring the Don and Ilumber ; 
When these improvements are made we will liave no 
more sorrows, 
For our riches will increase beyond number. 

" And also a railroad to the Balsam lake — 
From this city the distance is seventy mile ; 
Then to go there from this town will a short lime take, 
And from there to this city will take a short while." 

Adieu ! Sir John — may your shadow never be 
less ; and if, by your " projected improvements," you 
can make Toronto livcHer instead of larger, your 
" fellow citizens" sliould erect a pillar to your genius, 
return you member to the house at the next election, 
where your wit, eloquence, and " projected improve- 
ments," might convince — even the Honourable Presi- 
dent of the Board of Works, that — 

" Money in this town like a river will flow." 



I 2 



l*^ t trr tv Titr 



ClIArTKU X. 



.Fttr»cti (tnm i-^r \ i*4on' book— 
*\\% — f ifiifi 111 Clifti h— ti 

•Navy ItUtkd — C*»i p yfi%^ pM ih ift N>ci«»» 

bad. Obio— Dttfoii— IlltBob tmmm-^i^tmmm md hm iofk 




** Hut^K* monument tt)(trrtnf{ to iu fall T rxclaimrd 
oiir uf mv frlluw tm ^mmc loil(*tl up a hill, at the 

rr«)umt of (Mir rtmrlunnii ; ** )wi\ ing lor a rkle, aiid re* 
c. 1 in walk," M aiioUier drilv obsrnrc^l. 

** It was poor ipilA to OMtioT am- . fix it 

afiT bow jou wiH," nid a Hutfalo niaii. 

•* 'niU i» ihr (pot whrrr liruck frll/ Hud n- ^* 
Uilv, halting tie neat h a KTuhbv Uuli. 

" Were vou in the iMtlle, mtmlT inijumil ai> other 
Ulv. 

" Ni>, niia>i ; hut mr ion waii, and ] this 

eiari ii|M»t " 

" Wm yoar ton a HntiOier, mkiir' drmandrcl a 
Mem-Uiuking wight 

** Nu ; lir waa Amrriran honi, Mr," Niid thr M 
tUin«rI. drawing her^lf up ainl earing thr apeaker 

UH»«I •' ' " 

1 waa giad to hear niy frllnw vovagem (Autrruui 
C&tiari 1 all rrprtibale the wanton and iiiia> 

i iua actf ibough 1 wat» iiul a , d to 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 173 

hear that Lett, the mcendiary, escaped unscathed, and 
was still at large in the States. Passing through a 
rich, picturesque, and fertile country, a sound " like 
the rushing of many waters" — the roar of the Falls 
— was heard ; and presently, descending from our 
rickety conveyance at the door of the Clifton House, 
the far-famed Falls of Niagara were hefore us. At 
first sight, I was disappointed; for though the coup 
(Tceil from Clifton House — embracing both the 
Horse-shoe fall and the American, and the wooded 
isle that seems to (piake in the midst of the war of 
elements — is unrivalled, the height of the Falls is 
materially diminished, and consecpiently their effect 
is lost by viewing them from the banks of the river, 
which are on a level with the head of the Schute. It 
was only on crossing the river at the ferry that I be- 
came impressed with the awful grandeur of the scene, 
and the first impression destroyed. The books in 
which visitors incribe their names, &c., at the table- 
rock, or pavilion, deserve to be ranked amongst the 
curiosities of literature. I am sorry to say they arc 
sadly mutilated, and somelimes whole pages torn out, 
bv sacrilegious visitors. Here we find all sorts of 
effusions, for the noise and uproar of Falls beneath 
seem to inspire the visitors, and even the most stolid 
and Dutch, wax poetical ; during my visits to the table- 
rock, I took the libertv to transcribe some of those 
bleatings into my note book. 

Extract from the Visitors' Book, 1841. — Table llock 

House: — 

" Here I record the starilin^ fact — 
Tve been beneatli the cataract: 
Bid Niagara's fairest dair^liler 
Bring ine a glass of gin and water; 



174 urs ty Tin: wmt. 



• i«g ID (lr«o«r My 

' » ' 1 U kctfM iW bO04 too lufa^. 
-- I I I, linMag 

bblr. o*fv aijr 
-. y« ffod* and 
.-^ propMMMM ; 

I t I mmt oatbrlli-* 

• fty, 

Mv ( 'K««<««i •«««« lM*ll croM ilw kny i 

N . Obolttt I iod 

It will 001 do to %ti]r bHiMid ; 

And lMno«( brsvelj baitltd to fcf, 



" JUM Stf . 



nablilVt iBVVlBf ; to tttfncc go tnT wit%, 

: in obltvioci md Ihjr dolrfi : 
Mj holy •«« u luro'tl to iJnow mm! iiifv« 
To iod mmIi bobmbm tcnbbltd oo tki* pog«- 



" lly oiy ifoik, Afeidii AaibB, 
Bbckgwidi boik. 



Adim Smtto. 



" I'rr •en Um UlU of TrftM. 
^ T" * ■■ ' ■•••« KUkuvrj ; 
1 .( bMi% iImb «U 

\' r\i 



*« • 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 175 

" I've seen a burning mountain, 
And wonders past all counting; 
Have taken tay over the way, 
Beside a burning fountain. 

*' The only thing 1 wish is, 
I may escape the fishes, 
And safely spy old Ireland's eye. 
For I am not ambitious; 

I need no further journey. 

" My love, my life, my cara, 
Shall hear of Niagara ; 
When, without fuss, jshe gives a buss, 
To her own T. O'Mara. 

I need no further journey." 



" Where is the red man, where tlie tameless child — 
Soul of the desert, monarch of the scene? 
He stood unblench'd and' heedless in the midst 
Of warring elements, the direful jar 
Of riven rocks and mountains rent in twain ; 
While crashing forests of the sturdy oak, 
The giant pine, and dwarfish tamarack 
Glanced wildly by, like leaflets in the blast, 
When Erie, rising in his pearly shroud, 
Leap'd like a billow from the vasty deep. 
Pursued by Huron, chased by Michigan, 

Impell'd to burst his bonds by Superior , 

What barrier could stay that band of brothers ? 
The mighty ravine opens, and a peal 
Of stunning thunder bids the earth recoil. 
Ere the unbridled waters madly sweep, 
And crested Erie took his fearful leap 
Down Niagara to Ontario. 

" EuKiKA Thrums." 



" Where is the red man ? where is the white man ? 
W'here is the black man? all right — good night, man. 

"Peier Parle.' 



1 76 Lire nt mn 



C'rU Uop— <*M4 lfwf», aMM Iflli, 

J* M pMM pat tx- 

Tow c» 9«v €9 Ur% m' 






-•- 



C 1 t*Hly « 

" Di Jumviiit.*' 



Wlita God tptaks. Id nua WoM hn tnrm.f 



loaa'd, ilolai, or Mny'd, Ami JoIni 
Of Do^i'jf Watt*, 

"St. B*oo%. M.O.I „M 



Falbrr of Wap, 
Wlxj thcdoilaar ytM* 
T«kc Buafaioa and U .. i . 
And unkrr your \ffA», 
In M. U. U. 



*« 



all ilio miU tvboiis ia iW t o^^, i ^ ^ 



•* M; t »^t tn aloiifliiy fim 9m wat*--- >t — n. 

•*L- i.--. -..-, Mi%%." 

Ilrrr r.ItiiKra aloilft rifpi ill 1 >iiU li, i^t . iig 

. . ihf /iivtirr Zee; und anolhrr rffn. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. it? 

sion in the Eurika Thrums style, which I skip over, 
and conclude my elegant extracts with — 

" Here in the balcony, 

Busking * like any fly/ 
I slantindicular sit in my chair. 

Whiffing a light cigar 

Over this water war, 
All at my ease, with my heels in the air. 

" Fly round, my tulips. 

Bring me mint jnlips, 
Iced to a miracle — fix'd with a straw — 

Wooing the eager lip 

Deeper to suck and sip, 
Rich as a bottom in sweet Arkansaw. 

•' Writing and rhyming, > 

And all this tall climbing. 
Tickles my fancy, though all in my eye — 
Boy with a corn cob. 
Lightly my shoulders rub. 
Ecstasy — ecstasy — now let me die ! 

" N. P. Willis." 



" Take oflf every stitch of your clotlies, lock them up 
in this drawer, ]nit on this here red shirt, duck pants, 
straw hat, and slippers," said the host of the pavilion, 
to whom I signified my intention to visit that delect- 
able grotto under the horse-shoe fall. 

I ()l)eved, with certain reservations, as I did not at 
all admire the damp flimsy habiliments tendered for 
my outward man ; and followed the guide down steep 
flights of slippery stairs and stei)s to the water's edge. 
Here, pausing a moment to view the terrible yet mag- 
nificent scene, we pushed on to the table rock, drenched 
with spray and mist, en avant. The guide laid hold 
on a penny cord, nailed into the trembling rocks ; he 
disappeared under the broad sheet. Holding my light 

i3 



lift Ut% IH Till: %>K*T. 

bat «kiili <Mir Immm1» awl thr conl «ith ih« • d^r. I 
|iJuii|*rtl aficr biBi, and in a moflMOl «a» li 

V . . iIh* Kt»irr 
in my vyvi^ y^UiW- I tftonptl my ^ajr umlrr fh« caiAfvrt. 

** Wc can go no i r," kialloocd ilic guMic- ^* 

hcrr, in tiiu mblj liiuwrr lialh, wr net our back'- iw 
ihr flUcamt^g wall, and cooUiii|4alctl Oir roaiing 

V nmntt < Tt'tviiig a mart slap on my 
ibouldrr, 1 tiinittJ. niul ' M an cf I cnii in twain 
»lidc down to mv CntI ; |> him ii|i, togrthrr with 
lOlDt- Nlip|Mn .1 oArr in\ piidr, %«bo 
had alrradv mrraied frocn uiider the hruml »1 

As long a» iKc oTcrhanging rocks hold their pUrr 
thcfr b no cUngrr. bat bnhrtw mc if I tntft m^r neck 
under tliat Miinrb shower-bath again. l^Jrm me ratti 
pas UckamJrUr, and one dulUr is ongb to pay 

lor being thocooghly drri. . wiUi pcmiiaoon to get 
Tour lirnd liToken ; jui<I votir kx^W made food for fbhca 
bv a WHF^ folK itep, or a hlip{tcrT ftona. 

Hcl» 4 to the »tairN ^r «»cn- g: i willi the 

cherta and Liughler of a merrT gfoap t>f ^ fiiir wuneii 
and brown men,** from tlie Atnericaii »ale. One or 
two of the |iartv were dii^uiMHl in oUn^kin dreMc*, bol 
mv grnda manrrd me that a numbar of viailafa ooo- 
lenl thciniM' with a good aplaihiag. withool Um 
broad ibcat« few iwvHig iienre cnocifh to venture 
under ii. 1 ing intended m a compliment, I 

twaBowcd it ** rmm ^rrmm mU$r ahooh of ihr reeking 
gamM-nlJs and rrcrivctl m\ ixrtiftealr ; u|«on whit h the 
following lines arc inirrtb<*<) 

Wtllfl* M 1 Atlta 4|f«l» ?•* VSIL* Of 

»iA<»«Mi av aaivvitLt atnt^ 

**OC*4iai wy r<iyft tt to iii«g,iaM4 » ■■ *! 
Tbtf loa iW m«ld l-Trt Mm iky M*;«My 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 179 

Within the veil ! — I've heard tlie anthem-shout 

Of a great ocean as it leapt in mist 

About my thunder-shaken path. Thy voice — 

As centuries have heard it in the rush 

And roar of waters ! 1 have bent my brow 

Within thy rainbow — and have lifted up 

My spirit 'mid these vast cadenas ! I've seen 

What is the wonder of Eternity — 

And what this vision'd nothingness of man." 

The only benefit I experienced from that severe 
drenching under the falls, was the complete cure of 
rheumatic pains in my shoulders, contracted by sleep- 
ing on a damp stone floor, in Spain, and lost, I sin- 
cerely hope, for ever, under the falls of Niagara. 

The plan of erecting a new city on the Canada 
side has been abandoned. Even the sole and only 
hotel here seems quite deserted. The young Ameri- 
can lady and her husband have taken their departure, 
the piano sleeps ; and the airy Salon no longer echoes 
back the sweet songs of that heavenly little woman in 
black, who, without all that circumbendential humbug 
and mendicant entreaty, sat down to the instrument, 
and enchanted us all. Looked into Barnett's museum ; 
it contains upwards of five thousand interesting speci- 
mens, a great portion of which were collected in the 
immediate vicinity — that is to say, below the falls. 
Wolves, catumonts, cats, and badgers — yea, fish and 
fowl, being slain in their last leap, it being gone- 
goose with them the moment they get into the rapids ; 
three or four Hving rattle-snakes are likewise here 
made rattle their tails, for the company. Descend to 
the ferry, where the Yankees stare very hard at the 
red coats and bright muskets of a sergeant's guard ; 
posted there expressly, I hear, to cut off deserters, 
and intercept contraband goods. Found the soldiers 



180 



i.irK IN nit 



• «»ur of ihf I.. frr*h-«alcr fi»bc« I erer 

MW; i «ck «» II, ImjI lllc WW DOC t ^ 

Toll up ihc Uf uii ilic A I 111 side, ami 

gri iiiMallctl ill ■ good ruuni, »lx fni \ty irii, at ibe 
CaUnct lIoiMe — walk over the woodro bridgrs to 
Goal Islaiiil, ilic frrr<loin uf which I obuiu by p^^i"? 
tfrciiljr-rivc ceulA. ilcrc I fell in with a •crcri-x'--^- 
ittg nitauoQiry, who liad just rrliinicd fruiii China, 
lie had a wry singuhu'-luoking lad with him, an 
u? ' -cvml C*hiiinK>, whu ft|iukc LngUih tolerably 
wciif and took v >\utc9 m be approached the 

bone elioc lall, cither to M*i-iin> hiM fuoting, or frmn 
•ooic Mi|K . •ii» fc . . iiitu coiivrnguioii 

with tooie aiiiiaMc ; ^ Udic9 icalcd on a bench, 
wailing for their fatlicr and fnend«, whu liad de- 
acrnded i»omc Ijuldcr to enjoy die watcrfnll on ihc 
Auiericaji side ; pn seiitly a ver}' genllcmaidy old 
fc-llow tiiiiililcd up the mairv, and declared that Mn^ 
W— liad iaiiKctl bcluw, and that her htwband and 
othera were earning ber alowlv up agniiu is it 

the M.*cond lime the baa faiii(e<l io-<: ad he ; 

.1 her Hpiril i^ imi - .c (aimed at tbe 

bultuui uf the whirl|)uul »tc|i0 ; ahe wag taken ill upon 
tlic Canada iiidc, and now the would iiiatst on going 
down tlial »tcep and daiigeruiu ploiN Hut ber spirit 
i« iiidonii tabic, my dear !"* 1 wan liappy to tee this 
bi^i '' \ wuiiiaii MMiii nftcr d to a ie«l« 

where nhc revived ; and, !• i i.. : s'n ngtb, 

Inrr il bcj^aii i.. i s»,. «| 

bcr t to aiceiid to the top of i\. 

the fklU. 

'ITic stick and oane-^rnrm drive a jiw'tty consider- 
able irade liere : ettn .. ..v r •;-':.. ' • •-^fralU'd on 



lu pmeDl bitoseir and bis tnumt \« 



ii:. 1 



1 



LIFE IN TUE WEST. 181 

hickory twigs^ of all sorts and shapes, varying from the 
grotesque and gnarled, to the smooth and varnished. 

Return to Cataract House, and get seated, with 
some difficulty, at the crowded tables — every railway 
car settins: down fresh visitors at our door, till the 
house is so crowded, that I rejoice even in my closet. 
Marry, the window or green jealousy opens upon the 
balcony, which the ladies seem to appropriate to their 
own use, and thus I am constrained to hear more than 
is agreeable. " Did you see that Canadian on the 
stoop, with his grey clothes?" (meaning me,) "my! 
how shabby ! — mean economy. Miss ; keeps his good 
coat for Sundays, I guess — the Canadians are all close- 
fisted, Miss." Not wishing to hear any more, I strode 
out into the balcony, even in my grey suit of Tweeds, 
while the young ladies tittered audibly, and the 
words — exclusion and infrusion, went in at one car, 
and out at the other. Fatigued with walking all day, 
Ifeltlitile inclined to sit, inhaling other men's tobacco 
smoke, in the bar, and, fetching a chair, sat down in 
the balcony — a piece of audacity the young ladies did 
not expect a man in grey could be guilty of, and they 
walked up and down, holding their heads very high, 
as if they doubted the purity of my intentions. 

Visit the whirlpool with Mons. S- n, the maitre 

de ballet and Zephyr of Mdllc. Fanny Ellsler, and a 
rich Southerner and his little swarthy son ; en route, 
this magnate began to boast of his wealth. He found 
it no easy matter to spend his money in this cheap 
country, he said ; then directed our attention to his 
coat, his vest, his pants, his boots, all made by his own 
niofrer — a slave, of course — so that the makino; of 
clothes cost him merely the keep of his nigger ; anon, 
he expatiated upon the beauty of his plantation in 



.>(Nilh A 


:. rM. r 


«buul M 


1 .M... r .. 
1 thi • : ill. 







IMS U9U. t% rum w 

^ouiMd poor I: ^ ^— tt 

ilic rrii oC tbc iovcs and 

T<* rxMUUkt iht %« 

^i lutle ^^^v^ aikI down 

• «1^-. * - nuT to my 

exj^ u, Uac waier in ihc miiLa of the \tutu\ h« '|*<-H 

cletaird higher ihatt cmr heacb, instead uf 1 - 
down into a boiling rurtcx; we «iw enannou» idjp 
and bcMBi of tiodbet ' ! tvith other dilru whirl- 

ing rocmd and cf»> h artoooding 

rapicli 

** 1 10 the Hritiaht* «id our goide, 

(whob b^-the-bye. 1 tnapectad lo be a det af t ai hiai- 
•elf;) ** three dcaerten tncd to Mwim over the river 
lift night ; ooe got lafe over, and the other* were 
fwept down to the whiHpo<>l. Do jou tee anjrthing 
white iinting in it ?" ' r, mauiiting a rock and 

peering into the wiUl watei I once law the bodJM 

of aeven detertm in it^" c* : he ; ** and tlie 

people nicd to cone from a diti to look at them, 

Iwihhing roond and round like t. % till at hat the 
timber Mnaahed them to piecef." lie then told us 
bow one of the (emrmen wa» earned into the whirl- 
pool ; his boat was dashed to pieces, and the man got 
oo a log. and went whirling round and round* 
hundreds of people looked cm« nnable to aaMt hitn 
wben— munculoiii to relate !^-tbe log upon which 
the It'rrjman rode was iln^rii iiitu tin* baidi at the 
Canada nde. end tbe smu) was saved. 

Vmited Sihlujtter, the place where the **Ciraline* 
tra* ' ••» ••» IS—* -ni adriA mcr the Falls. Tbe wooden 
anu I1I.K.II) liu . ; MC beiude ilie wharf looketl like a 
bam ; it is s loucU . bleak •limking spot, ami the soli- 
lanr pMhik boMt in the rear doei not look very i»> 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 183 

viting. While sketching the barn, &C.5 a little 
steamer arrived from the Canada side, took the mails 
on board, and as the rain began to fall in torrents, I 
embarked also. Taking a wide sweep with the 
stream, we beat up against the current to the cele- 
brated Navy Island. It is heavily timbered, and large 
enough to hide an army of desperadoes still ; indeed, 
I marvel the Canadians did not cut down the trees 
upon the island when it was evacuated by the sympa- 
thizers. — Land at Chippewa, and march down the 
banks to the Falls, cross the ferry below them once 
more, bid adieu to the cataract house, and whirl away 
to Buffalo in the railway cars. Hang up my hat in 
the American, the best hotel I have met with this 
side the Atlantic. Looking for the last Nickerbocker, 
I was directed to the agent by the bookseller — en- 
tered a cabinet-maker's, and inquired for the agent. 

" lie is up stairs, I guess," replied one of the work- 
men; and I mounted the ladder, i)assed through a 
loft full of carpenters and shavings, mounted another 
loft, and found Mr. Chi Ids, the agent, a strapping 
young fellow, with his shirt sleeves rolled up, planeing 
away at the leg of a chair. He said he had not the 
Nickerbockers by him, and asked me if I was a sub- 
scriber. I said I was not. " Then," said he, " I am 
sorry to say I cannot let you have a number; but if 
you wish to read the work, or any particular article, 
call at my house up town, or, if you prefer it, call in 
at the Young Men's Association Reading Rooms." 

Mr. Childs resumed his w^ork, and I went my way 
to the aforesaid reading rooms, where I found period- 
icals and new spapers, both new and old, of home and 
foreign manufacture. Buffalo., being the " mustering 
mead" of emigrants from the Old World and New 



194 I tic t% Tiir. 

K xi •' \u « %«f •twaftl Ifixiiul, « mmaedlcy 

of t plml* nMr, and 

«ii%i«ML* < ihc ukl ( V MBI* 

l^nUllB ^rt llilitt (mr, ibc'T i^" j> • r v ^ ^ . II 

■v»^ ir pwtoml .!' 1 iclmuw; ii 

» too Ulc far llicni lu mnirt* ihrir Mr|». aiid ibe 
irtunlv Miif(li»linian gniiiiA, ** In fur a |iraoj, in for m 
pcNHicI ;** the Iruklinuui iliru%r» up hit haU aimI ruank, 
** TYir (Icvil niaj carr *." (hr cannj Ssruc tliinlt lie 
inajf "aft wcrl p» n hiiiiM'k further;* iIr* Fr " nuui 
■hnifpi up lib abotiMrrv with **n yu aUtr . the 

pprv Nrw Mnglamicr ciniwU ''come ■long' aiMl **^ 
a "* ivi he ptuJicK hill wajr through gaping ' ^ 

uf 1 . ( •cmiana. and Swtat, nets tluwn hb |iack 

full of Yankci* ntitiuiis un the deck uf a wrvtcru 
leviathan, and M|uatji hininelf dawn, m cool aa a 
cunnnlxT, tienide a high-|tm«urr Ui'^ ^ 

Kniliaried un liuard the Huiiker-hiu*u.\aiiier a \ ilr, 
naitv Imjmi i» ever I *cl niv ftMH uu ; and off wi 
1 Kpbahing t! U the aunnv wn 

oi the Knc, %%liiU* (he* Immh cuuahint^ aimI Imjou 
uf the »team i .ds Ui tlul, t! . d 

and rooftt une minute, y^c niav he boileil, i . -< 

curd, and mrned up to ihr rfoudt, u|ion <^4*^ n>etal 
filaiterm the next minute. 

Cleveland : here we are aafelv muunni tu the \«tiax1. 
wiU) raqtriitcr and Msiith sledging a*- * the ^ ' ii 
paddlc-whri'l ; the captain it laid up ■ ' with tin 
ague, n' hv hill w.' •! cUughter, ^ 

|ia»< :_' :• .«ii 1 i.'.i,.' .1 . .ut the Mft^t» and lane* uf 
tl " igh the wr«C end uf 

C 1, ftal down lUMler a nut-wuuil tree in frtmt 

of a j fine house; ihr • "'l slimMw^r^' nnmiMl it, 
high Frr.w t, Hindowa, V. . j.uMten and 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 185 

architraves of cool stone colour, were pleasant to look 
upon ; and presently a blind flew up, and revealed 
(a beautiful young girl in her teens? — not at all,) a 
swarth}'' old gentleman, seated in his library, reading 
a handsomely-bound book ; a red damask curtain half 
concealed a pillar over against him, and in the back- 
ground gleamed the gilt backs of many books, and a 
bust peeped in the corner. The yellow-faced gentle- 
man in black sat as steadily as if he wanted some 
passing artist to take his portrait, or win the heart of 
some fair passenger, to whom the devil himself would 
be irresistible in such a garniture and goodly frame. 
The shrill rin";inf»; of the steamboat bell caused me to 
start from my reverie, and leaving the literary gentle- 
man alone in his glory, I rushed on board the Bunker- 
hill. Enter into conversation with two Baptist 
preachers; they say Michigan is very unhealthy — 
that every new comer into that country must count 
upon getting fever and ague — a pleasant pros})ect, no 
doubt. One of them said he lived near Mrs. Clavers, 
the author of Montacute ; he said her book might be 
relied on. Went ashore again with the Baptists ; wc 
marched up to the lighthouse, followed by the first 
beggar I have seen for some time — a ragged youth, the 
picture of indolence and indigence ; he begged for 
money to go to Michigan, where he said his mother 
dwelt, and was a very respectable woman. 

" Name — her name, sir ?" said one of the Baptists, 
sharply. 

The j^outh told the name, and the Baptists gave 
hiin good advice but no money. " Now, hark'ee, 
sir — bcirsino-'s a bad trade. I know your mother, and 
her friends are respectable. How came you down 
here ?" 



186 t.iri i.H rnm wmn. 

Thtt youih mid be had been bound apfifvnurc to • 
tboemakrr in DttftNi— «iid alioemakcr look bim to 
BufTalu, wbere be beat and eunred bim, and io be ran 

awav. 

" Now, haii r h . . . !i. \ u to run awav from 

jour nianlrr? liu ngbi onboard t... ]' r-hill. wkr, 

and wofk a pa«ige tn . ' '^ v<^ <'ll (be 

•areftx nint down jour noM-, Nr ; Ijctter fiv do tbai cban 
go be^nv n.fir^d Io Mtcbigaxi. If vou dt>, voull 
mtttn. .... :.tredchapi between ihifl and tbai, ftir.'* 

Thu» ad%tacd the hapcinu, and the bov went away. 

*' It's a bard caii ■ hard caaa, ar," aaid tbej, aa wo 
fOCnnicd back again to our steamer, but could imm ftnd 
our beggar carrring wood aboard the boat. 

The boiler deck is <x 1 hv Dutch emigranu 

fimn tbe old countr\ ; thcv rarr\ tlieir l)cds and lied- 
ding along-* potJ^ pant, and kclilet— genuine cainix^ni 
out. Tbe women, round and utrong, drticd in pMxl 
bomef)iun biiacv-wr- ^ * m ^PPT ** ^ ^3^ ** 
long. Not ao the hitgiuii eaiignuita farwanl ; tbejr 
ba%-r t) ' ' hedii nor bedding, nor cooking; apparatus, 
nor utenaila^-lo be sure ihey aaem to haie aoino 
beoYY cbasli and tnink ir baggage ia all 

roped aiui naile<l dowti ajt if they were never to be 
opened again, while the \«umcn, in light imnted 
calico dreMtf ami light atava, looked waahy aiitl di^ 
contented. One voung couple, from Liticolnabirr, 
Raid ihry did not ftar tbe ague aa they had both of 
them liail tlie ** bager** at home in the fenn ; anotbar 
poor woman. frt>m Somoiae ia hirp, bad actually bcougbt 
out lier Mcveti children, the eldest of tbem a girl of 
fban4»rn iif Yoong ami feeble ^ »e 

aaid in her hii»)»Aiici, who wan a 

itnnrtnaMiii iu guud buAiUC^ at MadiMiti. in NN i-«etmain. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 187 

I asked her if she knew whereabouts Madison was ; 
she answered, " Close to Lake Michigan, and near 
Chicago." Having purchased a map of Wisconsin, I 
soon undeceived her, and pointed out the nearest 
road to Madison, which is at least seventy miles in- 
land from Lake Michigan ; I was glad to find this 
poor woman profited by the hint, as I afterwards met 
her with her family at Madison. 

Detroit: here I took leave of the Baptists; they 
pressed me very much to go home with them, saying 
they would give me plenty of the best their land 
afforded ; butter and honey, corn, bread, and pork — 
everything but money. Notwithstanding all this, I 
was not to be tempted, and the good men went their 
ways to the railroad, while I sauntered down to the 
steam-boat wharf, to witness the departure of the 
splendid steamer Illinois, and the Bunker-hill as she 
went booming up the St. Clair with the rest of the 
passengers. The Illinois is decidedly the finest steamer 
on the lakes, and the rough old master, Captain Blake, 
is a general favourite. Seated upon a pile of pine- 
logs, I enjoyed the fresh evening air, after the close, 
hot breath of the steamer. Carriages and waggons 
were hurrying down to the wharf, porters, passengers, 
emigrants, and sailors, bustling to and fro ; and a troop 
of the U. N. S. artillery and waggon train l)oarding the 
Illinois, added not a little to the confusion — the horses 
rearing and plunging on the forward deck, arms gleam- 
ing in the gorgeous sunset, flags and banners stream- 
ing gaily aloft from every taut line fore and aft the 
Illinois, even the figure head of a fine Indian warrior 
seemed to " grin horribly a ghastly smile," while ever 
and anon the pent-up steam burst out with a wdld 
roar, and the cables strained and groaned as the pad- 



t«« unr fw Twr wivr. 



<!.♦ • * 



•ral up tbc vairr, like an iiii|«uinit «ar-t>'*rw. 

|.aM.;"/ •'•' »*•'• -••rnv TillV tt'--"^f» cut lip MmI «iv'« ii 

ihi 1 ^f uuii, ^iii a * T4r% Iiiuuui ur Iwu iiiighl he 
(itMfii»<tl Mniliing aiMMit in tiicir bUiikrtii tni i^* 
C'aiuvliaii ^^llc^ whilr llic 'iili of 

an I. ilir »»hnii » •• wrr- 

» a ooii of ml- 

■ ruad-^iMm Umt, ihiw 
>tii|M of irre*, and the %vliilr«iAllr«l 
fi..Ti%*-« nf /, * haifttattt^. Mv allrtilion wan !»»«--•.• »v 
.#j. u Mu^iUr ^Tuup at llic end uT Un luiig 
)>iiii- iii^iipon which I wa« sc^tctL A hn|^ old (trr* 
nuui ' ' had Uid hiniM-lf duwn, in ii|>hinx-like 

fiMliiiHi, '^ a stout <hin-col(>tirrtl In<liaii poiiv, 

wli i rrmlv mi< and f*cn the 

Ajthu- i old Ixjar-huuuii k Nrw- 

foundUnd (w Labrador 6ol. > ^ 

of hlilc boT«, a^iiriniT fo inount a homt una, . ,.» .» 
favo«irablc rirru...-i*w»cT*, hung altMif when tiicjr miw 
the Imar hound** while liiskn; and t!ir hair roir on hb 
liack if an idle cur prmunKxl to a|9|)rvMich im chmrffc. 
Not Ko the N !Und, he «a» cvidcnilv an amuil 

loaiirr, c! < |MHiition cvcrA minute : im>w hiMUg 

up, now t) uirlf . anon backing at full 

l« f./th. wiftfulh lie p—cnyer iky and men — 

1^, if he - . tl, in rnier u|»un a game of r.m.r^ 
even with llic |H>n\, '...i want of a bettt .^- 

felk»w. Al laat a bear wan |Hdle<l along bj one . ' - ' 
artillf- II, and ibr Newlbundland oould n ' 

til Itm curiw' lie rmc up» and f(41owr«l liir 

iKMt on boafd the boat« v 
a good ihwark fnicii a naikir. he rr- 
tiir L In hi* fina , . tak 

lllllr : r, as nliatnTV an a di .!. wv ikr, and 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 189 

full as restless as a bag of fleas. This cur hung about 
our logs most perscveringly — his object, to induce the 
Newfoundland to desert his post again, and have a 
game at rough and tumble with him. He played all 
sorts of tricks, scampered backwards and forwards, 
kicking up the dust, pursued his stump of a tail round 
and round, like a kitten, scraped up the earth beside a 
stone, as if he had found a rat hole, and being; ex- 
hausted, lay sprawling before us, chewing a dry chip 
with great gusto. Hitherto his pranks had almost 
escaped the Newfoundland's notice, but now he got 
up with a deep pant ; erecting his magnificent tail, he 
looked merrily and wistfully at the terrier. The ter- 
rier stood up, with his chip sticking whimsically on 
one side of his mouth, while his merry little eye seemed 
to say, " Come, take it if you dare." " Have at you, 
master," seemed to escape from the " gentleman and 
scholar," as he gave chase, and pursued the terrier ; 
and they doubled, they ran, they rolled, tossed and 
tumbled together, splashed into the water, wiped their 
coats in a heap of ashes, and resumed their gambols 
on the green. The steamer with her flags, her band, 
pink parasols and white jackets aft ; blue, green, and 
grey jackets, and snorting horses forward; the bear 
perched on one paddle-box, Blake on the other, took 
a wide sweep towards the Canada side, and dashed 
bravely down the river. The crowd about the wharf 
began to disperse, and the plaintive whinings of a dog- 
smote my ear. I looked, and behold a tliick-set, re- 
morseless, red-haired German, in top-boots and jockey 
coat, stood over the Newfoundland. There he lay, 
all covered with mire and dust, panting, on his back, 
with his paws up as if supplicating for merc3\ 

*' Ha, ha! you tink I not see 3'ou, my friend," ex- 



liO urt t* Tif« 

rlaimrtl ihr aofrTT (w riii.^ii. >k- uiih A iliort whip br 
««1 the (!• . '1 fpb Tou m^r boiirT lo uumi 
<«iiii< 1 fci> ill stt •uM*fthi|i, 1 ilum inT pack; wbj jToo 
n> >7 V mil (*aipar— CM|Mr my otiii cool liund? 
i iA*( 1 sftfMr. \ alrh mill pfefd. Ma, ha! ymi vuii idW 
rancaJ ; lair (lit and « ! 

llrn* I I -»<*«l in (m !i.k!t .'t tl.« N r \% famicllaiHl, 

ntil Ituw varrlv l»r liail Ijccii tefli|itnl by ihr 

irman^ •Itmttofi ' ■ ^aid 

< imp of • irrrirr, ppmwlmg in iIm* ili. • ry 

!• {trdablr liisUiicr fniiii lu, till liir (trnnaii MAigbl 

iui A ftoiir, aiul rbAsrtl him away with many itnuig* 

oall -. 

•* ^a, ya! i know dat tlrrricr well," crutl Uc ; " be 

I lui^' i MiKl him long a^p). Doimrr umi 

II, Im*vui. . . ii ni>« rout. n iiiaiiy 

— I ■ lo miiul my v%aguiu \^(i bim lo . 

inv ii4'%» l»ufq(y in dia Yer tpoC von day. Now, miv. 
. I link you be did? ('brwn dc new ailk lining uf 
m\ h" -••. taken out vofi new nlk cmbioci iu bit 
motii, Li k^'ai bole in ii. Poudnidi I oomm 

ba4:k, 1 IumI liim eating my ru<thion ; cbaae hini; b* 
nin ankav niil inv neal in btfi niout ; iben lien down 
again, ebewii ii before my two eye* : I nm at bim — 1 
it^% him lo rome back ; be run round ami round* 
I g my ami lo biia, I ninning aftrr like vimi fool 
or mal-niaiu lie |wo|4e Uiigb and lUiuul ; 1 bell bim 
mil •toiic*t ; be run liome. I Hell bim lo any one — 
«cll bim lo de biilrber, biii i»till be alwari Umh about 
ny dog«." 

Kej<iic*e«l lo liiHi ibe (t< r i ui'ii wmib iiinirtl n^'itiiurt 
tbe l« I i|tie«! I alioul bin U 

lb ii- bim tntm \> irfnu ..ami <uiiii be 

WM (be |»ni)re of tfood dugs (bat b« COttbl not li\e 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 191 

without him, &c. As to the Newfoundland, he said 
he was young and silly, but he hoped he would one 
day be above playinrr with curs. This singular indi- 
vidual mounted his pony, and wishing me a good 
night, cantered away, the boar-hound jumping before, 
and the Newfoundland slinking; behind, and throwino- 
furtive glances toward the retreating terrier, as he 
rolled away, like a ball of dirty worsted, to his own 
kennel. 



19S 



uwit m Tint wirr. 



niAPTKH XI. 



ljik» Sl C 





— Fans M iW 




•• Dbas me, wluit a vmi»t tliffcrrncc tlirrr i • twccn 
thr rtirvctl Yankee »trHiii<i> uihI our own light little 
craft." taici a rooml, nmj-i lutkttl liiili* inan, aa br 
follrtl alwil ihc cmptv xraU and bcnchc* in tlie cabin 
of the ftrani-boat* BrolhcrK •* Iloom enough hrrr, 
«r," cootinucd be, •* lo rtrclch onc'a leg*,* 

I Mwntedt iamc lime attributing tbe ^bna»4nl 
apace unoct r to the aliaencc of fiaawny ii thrrc 
c|iirrr l.H>kiii« \n'o\Av ll»C fiwt cabin {nuvetigrrs 

bimI hal!-u- > rn« ^ urn, and their lirtU ami 

brtWinn. all lh«- lUt k jiaiw* «>«I>' 

to l*haibaro on tbc Tbamea. 

The rain aoon drove tbe ScoCehmen down, ami 
.l.iwn ihry oune, iiwrrtlicttrta and warm beda and bed- 
ding, into tbe crIUr-likr cAhiti. aa tUm|\ robl. ami 
\cm a bole an rvrr I wtui |irnt up in. Nathlr««, 
lirinff Arr«miti h a e«i|iy of ibr HWkltf Choi' 

.iii' the 4 |»:ira- 

gtm|ili fn»m it* %* \c pagM!-^ 

•• • Hnrrah ' thrrr ^hc iftw^ ! boW «i t' tllC 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 193 

cries that met our ears the other morning, as that 
beautiful boat Brothers started from the wharf ' Well 
I declare !' said a stander by, * there she is actually 
turning the point already.' And sure enough, when 
we turned again to look, all we could see was the tops 
of her tapering spars, and the dense volume of smoke 
that curled in her rear, mixed with the glittering spray, 
like the dust which the mettled steed, in his rapid 
course, flings in clouds behind him. We feel proud 
that our little town is able to send such a boat on the 
broad waters of our lakes. * * * Who has been on 
board the Brothers, and has seen the taste and ele- 
gance displayed in her fittings up, and viewed her 
cabin table groaning under the weight of savoury 
dishes and delicacies of every kind; but, above all, 
who that has feasted on the good things of that table, 
that will not join with us in the meed of praise to the 
jolly fellow who commands her ? — one of the best 
little captains * wot walks the plank.' There are 
very few boats on the western waters can compete 
with the Brothers in speed. She literally 

* Walks the waters like a thing of life,' " &c. 

Having read the paper through, I rubbed my eyes, 
and began to look about for the " taste and elegance 
displayed in her fittings up," which certainly had 
escaped my notice ; but in one thing I could not be 
deceived — namely, her speed and motion. Never in 
my life have I suffered more severely from the jolting, 
tossing, rolhng, and heaving, save in a springless waggon 
on a corduroy road. Every nail in the boat seemed 
to quake in the straining timbers, during the six hours 
thus wretchedly spent crossing the Lake St. Clair; 
certes, we had some squally weather, but the wind was 



IM urn w Ti » \»» -T 

all in «ir fiirotir. T\\r m^iic at i*»i rcaacu lo 

nd liMti on cirrk, 1 went famtd to tiM bow of 

tlM bml, «nct (btind onr of i!»r bMidi tA^itng W HlwIiagii 

until a lfiCH( ftj 

•♦ What walrr hurf vwi thrrr T crinl iIm- c«pti. 

•• Kotif lerl r 1 I ihr ImT. 

** Go ahead P Mt<) tlir mntnin : ancl we paddled 

boldlvon 

«< Slop her - ^'^rT was iijc ik^ai «»rU(r, •» Miu* 

-k«, r ' inlbnDad ui that we were 

not vrrr fiir Irom liir 

" Whai do you finil liiere, ^r" bawletl the captain. 

'• N it thr I »*»«• ca|>taiii. 

• May l» it i^" i , .cl«-<i ihe other. 

** Hard or w/fi'^ was the nest qucrr. 

** Soft Mnd or mud," was the rejoinder. 

M Qf, go go ahaad T wa» the coniniand ; aiMl pre* 
wr imehcd and pnddM through mud-bankt 
and Mnd-banki» into t!ie renowned Hivrr Tliamca. 

The danger, if anr, ! • r. • tlirtr. headed 

necro boy, aaMlad bv a greaej >cllow nian. began to 
njirxad out the \mI ih, and arrange the fcrtive 

hoanl Hicre wan a rait deal of clatter, and •• nuu h 
ado about nothing**— the bov undoing what the nan 
did, the man finding fault with the boT*t arrangemeot ; 
both' .cfOia,andln At la»t, the boy befan 

: up aocne g r toy butler with a knifir, putting 
■fjuare bita upon aumlrk* pbtea, tuniinp ihr butter 
loond w ' finger am! i . adroitly, then »urk- 

Ing hU fin^f^ with hit I . t -v That done, he 
acratchrti : brad, and U •> m rut up a loaf of 
^f.^^ ..•.wJifirtt . ... \v man eel a aa» 

vt.iirv uiMi «M Jiit-ii |-'.*v »?*' '-niuna upon the Uiard, 



LIFE IN THE WEST, 195 

and began to pour out some very black tea, which he 
had brewed aside in a vast metal teapot. *•' Who that 
has feasted upon the good things of that table," 
thought I, and not been most vulgarly sick forthwith ! 

" You don't sup, sir?" said the captain, somewhat 
crossly, as I paced the deck. 

I said something about want of appetite, and he 
went below, murmuring something about good sauce, 
and bad sailors. At last we arrived at our destination, 
as the clock chimed twelve — not the town clock indeed, 
but a house-clock, even that feeble bell beinjr dis- 
tinctly heard through the general stillness of the 
place; in fact, the good folk of Chatham had all 
gone to bed, and a thick mist hung over the river and 
town. We were behind time, to be sure, some three 
or four hours, having left Detroit at four in the after- 
noon, and arrived at (Chatham at twelve ; but the 
boat -owners and hotel-keepers might have afforded 
the passengers at least a guide, or porter, if, indeed, 
they expected the Brothers at all. " The jolly 
fellow" (or acid clerk) who commanded, refused to 
let any of his men pilot us to the hotel, and we walked 
up the slippery clay bank and dubious track into the 
main street. The whole town seemed wrapt in 
slumber — not a voice was heard ; but a solitary dog 
barked and whined at a creeking branch somewhere 
in the woods. The Scotchmen and the rest of the 
passengers now began to thump at the rickety door 
of the hotel, and presently we were admitted by the 
burly Boniface in person. 

" How many are ye ?" said he, beginning to count 
on his fingers. " Well, I suppose I can accommodate 
ye, two and three in a bed." 

k2 



196 



L4ii; la Tlir 



I N. ut a m^j^ brti— « bed to myttU. td ail 

'IV l»«*t M-cmctJ »• .»f A)irii|ibT tkisfuigukr 

fWqiMtC, ami he n*i>rjiu^i, boUling up hU bo|C*»-lM^ 
caiullr— ** A bed all lo yot — a brU lo ^elf ? 

Y«Hi caii'i have a Ixxl to voun** 1 canool accooH 

tiKKUte vou." 

Forth! nllie(!« ami tuok the oppantr aicle of the 
•met, licginniiig with the firrt of a ricketr row of 
wooden hotitca, of all torts anil »itr«. Thtini|i, thump, 
Ummp! went mj gwKl 1 ' y agaiiut the door, ull 
a voice wng out—** What do vou want T 

** Ixidgingf, an't pleaae vcmi. for a niii^lr mnn.'* 

•• Wc don't take in no wai* ihc reapooM. 

** ]Io))c not; g^ood night/ 

Tlien to the next houie 1 addreawd invM-lf. nml a 
ahrill voice iwng out — •* Who are jou IT 

I rrapooded to the aleepr beauty, and «r- -Id to 
•* go to dr debbfte— I vartuoiw young ladj." 

Tlic devil you are, thought I, iu» I moved on, aing- 
ing •• LuhMy Dinah ;* and wan pre- informed by 

a dhwray lliin mian, that if 1 ** followed my noiw" for 
a doten perrlii--* furilier on I would fuid the new 
hotel, a decent hou«e, " in which 1 wuulil lie hoipiublj 
IfMicd at my own expewe." A pole and swinging 
rign brought' me up all standing in front of the new 
hoCel. a vart^ r »ig, r ' Vt wooden conccni. 

XV foon reaomided with kickn and blowa, till a 

light gleMmd from a v v. ainl the front door 
bring opened, a »lurdy wight, willi an air in one 
haml and acatMlle in thr oihrr, deOMMletl^ 

*' ^VlM^l be in «^- ^""' n«iw — qur voiilri vou-* fairt*. 
a%rc voire bruit Uvn- < 



UFE IN THE WEST. 197 

" Restrain your choler, and put on your inex- 
pressibles, clier Monsieur," said I ; and I explained 
my wants, while the host seemed to doubt his senses, 
that a guest should ever find his way into his hotel, at 
such a time of night too. It was a godsend worth 
returnino; thanks about. 

" Hello ! Marie — Jean — Antoinette !— get up !' 
bawled the host ; " here is a gentleman wants a bed- 
room all to himself! Tout, tout, tout — vitc, vite, vite — 
depechez vous,mes enfans." Then, leading the way into 
his bar-room, this good fellow asked me to drink some- 
thing, drank my health, and wished me prosperity ; he 
did more, even at that late hour, he pulled on his shoes, 
and trudged down to the steamer for my baggage, 
carried it up, on the top of his shoulder, shewed me 
into a large, airy bed-room, and bid me good night. 

This dreary, wet morning, sallied forth to look at 
the town. A congregation of miserable houses of 
all colours in the rainbow— blue, white, pink, and 
grey, and not a few domiciles of bright boards inter- 
spersed with rough loggeries, while stumps stood 
boldly out of the earth on all sides, and the old abo- 
riginal wood frowned dismally at the back of the yards 
and enclosed gardens. Indeed, it is a matter of 
great surprise to find so many houses, and streets, and 
projected buildings, and improvements taken in hand 
by the people of Chatham, l)efore they had actually 
cleared land enough about their town to support the 
tithe of them. The streets are laid out with little 
judgment — exceedingly narrow and crooked. The 
barrack, built on the isthmus, or island, on the Thames, 
enlivens the prospect. This is the " West End" of 
Chatham, I suppose ; and here, for the first time, I 
saw the black rep;iment on drill. They are all run- 



IM I im » TUK V 

aiM.A> ' tnui^ tlMToAoan)} thrj I'-'il iutxt .lui 

l« I «kiv Hij ihej wouid ttgiu UAm 

>k«w, nthrr ihAii laboiit to ro 
lo 111 n asmin; MMtliBM, I tlnnk 

■li .( a ((ujuti cif (Urlt-cfl, and 

boppj to hcAT ()i« V %« •iltl HKNi \m dm bunML 

Fuiil ilic ctMintr^r about * ii rptnarluihly flat; the 

aif oppmnw; water bad ; |m*o|»Ic |>t>or. iiKk>lmt« and 
wrrtcbcd-loukin- Such «ki-rr iiiv fini imprttviucw aa 
i ix'liirncd to nuiu- iiui, aiid oat down with iiiy boat 
ill tbe bar. lie toM inr hU ^ '•• biatory in a few 
wordSi lie \uki\ been a lumlicrrr un ilie Thamwt '^^ 
ooa Anc inuming be aai^ tiir p*i)dMB«i and lunreyon 
marking out ytrixU in ihui ^mmUv town ; when be saw 
tbia» be aakl be could hanllv lielieve tber wrrr in 
rameat, bul ^ben lain werv atlvcrtiacd (ui -^^ in 
Cbailiain, tlic old babitanU up and down the river 
kugbed al<Hid 1lowe\er, lie IumI nved a little 
mnoey — aimie l«>n\ or ddy dollaf¥— bud it iHjt in Iota 
bere ; aold biji Iota aome tame a((o, and waa able to 
buv tliia botrl; Ihii be «ud tl»r roniiii. iK>t 

a^' II at al). " lit rv 1 Mt in the liar all 

<Uv, IH-oitlc ndl; and when tbry do, I 

niiiAi drink \%ith them — iluitV iIh* ndc 1 bavr a fine 
UkTffc bmitr now, Iml I am iiol lialf ao bappy aa wben 
I liad tHiljr a bit of a nluuit v nml mjf air in cbe woods, 
«iith liberty lo go wberv I liked.** 

Thun (ar di«l luy lu>M tinlMjnum !> i in me, ex* 

|ie<tiqga like ntiini. NVlieimipou, I toUi liini I bad 
■ooie tbougbu • \i land* iuhI tunmig fimnrr in 

tbc wuodik Thi* pMtv of innttimine tuy boat Mion 
oonveycti lo a cooHaui eualooirr at tbe bar— a booaejr 
IHunirr and ftUaier. '^^I^HifHdl-lnidca, |ir«>prH*lor of 
one of tbc gTuUac|uc ^iti-atiooa down town, which. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 199 

like the owner, was almost empty. This genius, 
from " Paisley direct," reminded me of Balie Waft ; 
nathless, he had not prospered as well as Waft had. 
Whisky was his bane — his rock a-head through life. 
His wife and children were almost naked, and without 
food, while he went gossiping about the public-houses, 
tippling here and there. 

" You want a farm, you do," said this uneasy indi- 
vidual, hitching up his waistband, and endeavouring 
to look wise, severe, and consecjuential. " You want 
a farm, sir ! I am happy to hear it, because money is 
in greater request in this country than land, and what, 
sir, I say, signifies money without land — pshaw, it's 
here to-day, there to-morrow, gone the day after, God 
knows where ! But the land — the land, sir — the ancient 
soil of our forefathers — that is, I mean the — the terra 
firma of Great Britting, — that cannot fly away through 
the sarculating mediimi — that cannot slip through our 
fingers." And having concluded his oration, the 
painter tossed off the residue of a ghiss of whisky. 
Pleased with the deference I paid to his elocution, 
painter Waft told the host he would soon learn all 
about and the whereabouts of every farm for sale in the 
district, and oft' he went. At dinner, my hostess, a 
very pretty Canadian, apologized for the absence of 
other guests ; the poor woman had prepared dinner 
for a dozen, and actually had two servants to assist 
her to do the work of the house, and wait upon the 
boarders — myself and a sick man, who had crawled 
down to dinner, a most revolting object, his hair 
almost all gone, revealing his unfortunate, diseased 
pate ; he had fever and ague strong upon him, and 
even in this wretched state presumed to devour beef- 
steaks and potatoes. He said he had been attacked 



100 UFt nr mc 

villi tbr hf[U€ thr f -rth dav mfirt ins arrmJ in 
Chilmm, I'lf I ibirwUJjr mprct br brought ihr 
•Md» of the ciiieait with hini. Ttic hortcai did noc 
ilirw mudi tact iii i)ic mtnmt^ of hrr raCablidMMal, 
■imI t «)iieMioo if tbc r u wmiUl cxnrr « tilhc of 

I \|M*iHlitiirr. S<ill the hwl bcr mIoo ncalljr 

fumiibtd, and her p>t>(iv liitir daugbtoi tftt nrsilT 
liit-aKdt a ia Fmnrmse, 

The painici ^^ Ji toon returned; he hat! in a 
■hoft intenrai heiml of morv fiimii for mIc than I 
ooold vist in a week. So nui oet fpota, and de- 
lightful plans was htn mMlclIc ftllnl witlu that the Ikmi 
waa oblifrcd to tend him alxxit his biiMtK«s to cobble 
np • i (low, for |teiicc* take* 

The buid-agent being frum home, and the office 
•but up, I WBK gUd to hire a gig, the onlv two-wheeled 
wli:. V of |)io tort I had seen thin fide of the Atlantic 
.^. Au^i m tbi» old, rum concern, I rode aome aix milw 
down the river, to »oe the fann of a ceitaio Tom (*row. 
and was ' ' i<> hi« liouae br a wayfaring man. It 

was an ol«i < iH faliric, cIok to the river. Tying 

my horMr in the huge ahcd, I i :itrrr«l a small |inrrh, 
and waa met by the proprietor, a spry. «nart-lookiii^ 
fellow, very like a Yankee, lie a|iolcigiirtl for not 
asking me to walk in ; the fact was, be had just opened 
a p«iblic- house, and his house was fiill of dnuiken 
paoph ' Hut 111 go and dreas myself," said lie, 
** and sbew vou hit Uodli* I told him it would be a 
work of aoptripgptiiHi he waa diwaed vua^fk tat 
my company ; and without further |taUvcr, we thrrw 
our legs af9r the high raiU by the rtMMl-4Mic, and 
strode into his funu l*be %alite of the fivm waa aaid 
to lie in its cipm and tinilierless state ; it was |iart of 
the |»lainis v€ low, maraby land, which baiqg draioad 



LIFE IN THE WEST, 201 

and reclaimed by the old French settlers, offered no 
small inducement to new settlers in the wilderness. 
Mr. Crow's crops looked bad and backward enough ; 
the cattle had trampled down his Indian corn and 
peas; and on closer examination, I found the soil 
worn out and exhausted, though close to his house I 
observed a mountain of manure, covered with rank 
weeds, which would have enriched the farm we were 
lookiu": at. '* But I have no time for that kind of 
work," said the proprietor. Further on we came to 
the original prairie, or marsh, covered with thick, 
sedgy grass, which Mr. Crow assured me made excel- 
lent hay ; the soil, black loam. The proprietor fre- 
quently boasted that there were " no trees to trouble 
a man's head with, nor stumps to break his shins." 
" You have a few yonder," said I, pointing to some 
fine old oak and elms, standing in a field near the 
house. " They're girdled though ; I girdled them,'* 
said he, with a sour grin of delight. I was sorry to 
find his words were true ; he had spoiled the beauty 
of the farm, in his inveterate and ill-judged enmity to 
trees, lie further said, he had a wood lot in the 
government woods, from which he cut fire-wood, and 
occasionally wood for the steamers, for which he 
received four dollars a cord. His hay, when saved in 
the barn, cost him two dollars a ton. He gets for his 
wheat, good and bad, bearded or not, five York shil- 
lings a bushel at the Chatham mills ; sells his oats, 
also, for two York shillings a bushel. Calculates that 
he clears more than two dollars per acre by this farm, 
and modestly offers to sell it for twenty dollars an 
acre; says his nephew has another farm for sale, 
right opposite, on the other side of the river, and 
volunteers to shew it. " We are all Crows about 

k3 



um n rwi v 



Iwffs" «ad Mr. CVow. ■» be intfodaeBd ne lo anocber 
relame of UiaI ilk, who IcmcU mo over tiir mrr m 
bb Ian canocw lliit fam «m h«f Bj liidli— li, a 
rtfipuCihr river bank bdoff bKUy clMvd; aad j^l 
dtoiagbl it Bom dcMlMv tban the ocbrr ; r^r*n bocb 
loftetbsr woubi maLc a nice fimn (or any mml I i>o 
wooded tbrm m ouidi rbfc-«|Mr, being oflbrad* witb 
iti froaUga lo tbe IVhbh^ and a l»lork of two btsadied 
acraa of baid wood» fur four buiidnrd dulUix He- 
craard tbo rirer in tbe canoe» and wiabiag Mr. Ctow 
a vrnr c^vmI cTcninfc. rrltimed to (^balbaiB. 

Pniiiur Wall and my boat tiefe iiU|TiMd to bear 
of Mr. Dfuar'a aorbitaiit desMML ** Let liiin keep 
' vtok" laid Wmfi ; ** mv have* laoda aooagh and to 
! id tbe tbna (and ii'« n«>t very long ago) 
«km 1 could bcve not ap mu : tbi* pUiiai and 
aroodi aa 1 coidd sbake my stick al, fur a galkio of 
^vbtfky.** 

• Why did yoo u i .i..ui youncU of thr a|>|iar- 
umUT y* Mud 1. 

it waa cuotw r y to my |*r.i.« '.|m« <.' rr- 
Mr. \\.it(. uitii dloaa of 

ft atr» wuulii liiivc been dnuik. NVhai tj 
illoanad ilwmirfniiiMitannd thr 
I atl my iwe againai dniuknuicaa. A htilr drt>|) like 
thin in my gUai ranut4 h«nii any man ; a grniai }i***j^^ 
ia rc<|ui»jle in ibia pcrreii country, nr ; bm laban it 
eome* to gallooa, then. Mr, I nako my bow.* 

** Babr Mutl tlie boM« winking ai mo, mhilr . 
r«iti' .^mm, ainl dtolwtil llial be bat i a 

vc iti>i>«i til tnm fitfmcr himacll. if be 

and, (runi hm i eridrntlv wiabird tbe painter 

olt. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 203 

" I love a flirm dearly," said painter Waft—" I 
could work in a garden, morning, noon, and night." 

" Sacre bleu," exclaimed the host, "you have a 
garden, as full of black stumps as your own jaw." 

" Call you that wee bit of yard a garden ?" said the 
painter, with a look of contempt. " He knows no 
better, sir ; but we old country folks, we know what a 
garden should be ;" and the poor wight (being piqued 
at the host's remark) went on to say he despised the 
town — " What's Chatham to me ? I can do better with- 
out Chatham than Chatham can do without me — I'll 
shew you that, some fine morning. Yes, I'll go to Bear 
Creek — I have my eye upon a good location there — 
I'll go to Bear Creek, and I'll build me a loom." 

I had heard of a man " building a bower" in the 
wilderness ; the building of a loom demanded an ex- 
planation, but the painter vanished the moment his 
harangue was ended, leaving the host to explain that 
Ke guessed the vaut rien had been a weaver once. 

A worshipful magistrate now introduced his un- 
pleasant red phiz to my notice — a bustling, meddling, 
little man, just as fond of his glass as the painter. He 
began by lending me the well-thumbed newspaper, and 
following up this piece of civility with a host of ques- 
tions ; in short, he was a bore of the first water, 
without one spark of originality about him, and I 
shook him off at once. Notwithstanding the cold 
shoulder I turned to him, he still persevered, and 
finally took his departure, saying, " that he supposed 
I would consult him before I ventured to purchase 
any land in the vicinity." 

The bar-room gradually filled with townsfolk ; the 
painter also returned, but his fire was out, and he 
slunk down in a corner. The awful number of blacks 



'^^ urs iw tm 



gpllMnd infi^ Chmiluim wm the tubj g ct of 
on ihr la|'>- 

** It ■mottiiu tu A giwvanrcr, \ \ < '\c. 

** It ■iDoaBii lo A niiiMHfc," i -^ rr. 

" Whv, BMHU Um clarirr« ramr all \irU»rr ihrm." 
■uii a ihoM* runaway ninVB mat be 

our OMilm bdbfv lof^* 

** The black iv|pmrnt rmheMmfl thrm an,* takl a 
•warthj UuJc •milk 

*« Like to ate them keep the wall aWle in the tkaU»9 
m thcj ilo hcrr,* Mid aii Arorric^n. 

" Ncrrr was more akccfed in mv liU*/' rhitiinl in 
fiaintrr Waft« ** than I waa bat • if(, on hit way 

home. Turning a < -, gwitlamm, lilt againal me 
came thrrc of the black aod gcn i they fworr awful at 
inc, I trll jou ; and more than that, for though I rreM 
hack from the |>Unks to let them paat, one of thrm 
giirea me a cut acnMa the — » with his rattan.' 

A bunrt of indignation IbUowed this detailed out- 
rage ; in the midal of which* the door opened, and 
ct ! a bUck man, ii|Ncily drrwctl in bl. ' He 
had a hammer in one hand, and aomc placard* m the 
other. 

*' Can joo loai ne a few hmU naik,* laid he to the 
hoil; ^ I want to |Hit up one of iheae |4acanU in thr 
bar of Tour phMV IT 

•• What it it all about ?^ tnquinrd the lii»4, Mt) 

' — a I (lumcr that the oolomrd 

(rd iIm* hm| : •• I liarr nO BR 
M not !>. tny %%idl to be deiKrd 

'I filaesriiE. 
.., • : Waft--- WcU •id. 1 aajr ;• 



ir^" 


" Uh. a till 


fulk« mran l< 





ai i 
byy 


'• HmvA 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 205 

and the rest raised their voices, while the poor black 
slunk out, abashed. 

"Eating and drinking, wooing and fiddling, and 
preaching, all the summer," said our host; "that's the 
way with the darkees ; and starving and perishing all 
the winter." 

" Hang me, if I subscribe one farthing for firewood 
for the blacks, next winter !" said the smith, sourly. 

" It is money thrown away," said another ; and 
again the door opens, and three tall black soldiers 
marched up to the bar. 

" Please can we have some beer?" said they. 

" No," said the host; " you can't have none." 

" Brayvo, brayvo !" bawled the painter Waft, while 
the discomfited darkees retreated, muttering oaths 
deep and loud. 

" I'll take a glass with you, captain, after that," said 
the Yankee. 

" And so will I !" exclaimed the rest, and in the 
midst of this spirited boosing match, I retreated to bed. 

This morning, at breakfast, my host informed me 
he had heard of a famous farm for sale ; and having 
received the necessary directions and landmarks, I 
started on foot, through the New Wood road, full of 
stumps, and logs, and other little impediments. The 
air was oppressively close, and the dense woods on 
either side echoed with the buzzing of musquitoes and 
flies ; the occasional shrill note of a woodpecker varj^- 
ing at interv^als the dull hum- drum of the insects. By 
the time I had walked about four miles, I felt as weary 
and depressed as if I had marched thirt}^, and, allured 
" by the smoke that so gracefully curled," deviated 
from the rough-hewn track, and entered the brush and 
stumps of a new settlen 



SM 



ff w*^*-- 



KMioi, wiM-lcxiking roan, |in>«<titi^ ow or fatdinn, m 
ku^ ftrp of la|ei ami bnabtvood. Kipai«l alikr lo 
iIm beat €i( ihm tkm mud tlie mjri **( ilir toit, thr 
fccr MMMd bllf bakcd» but it wa- lo anr 1 

ooC been alwaj« a labmt I re 

wkmotfi Mimnling to iapalicBcr in hU 
and im and ecNilMi|ilnoi» cnritiif of tW opfjcr Kp» 
wbicb spoke ihe ragr of tbt- inwanl nam ai ibr fnir- 
galorial wUU it was doomed to htfart ita tinie. 

" Vou arcm tu Iutp a faliywag job, my frictto, 
Mud I, aitiag domi on a Ion, mm r rri— . 

The bwarr mw : gome rr]>]T. whirb was loftt in 
the biaiBg mA cnwUng of the Hbmm, af with halH 
avMlcd fiK^ lie ooolinned bb UboonL Again 1 
oprncnl my firr, and in(|uirrd if he knew wbere ibe 

II '• li%ed ; ihi« dn*w a iootd rffawwialib reply . 

and I toon learned the hiMury of ihr man belbie me. 

He%ra0an Oftd (^oontry Ban, ofctMine ; bad hern ni 
dhnBl^ife«aHlaiicM» aMrriedfOutnni ibe nonnahle 
biMknipt C*rrditoni and friettde laiaed a fimd from 
of b« ■bitwf d forttinea, wbadi cMblnl 

\%ilh hin witr and ail 
a at QucLiri' And 



bini lo 



of bit w'A and dukbao— arrival in the land of 
pnimiac — ca|Ntal aJl etpriidrti rw rmtir, Ucntrtl a 
hiMim in ibe town, went iutu wood* to look (or hi« lot, 
gut irvrr and ague, aiMl finally $^i into ibe bandi of a 
ifMoikMor, wbo lanaad or let lum tbe mmm wood be 
lor four j lati BOwJIliuai baiti mo^gli, c\ 
flbr aoocbrr man in ibe mkba uf a wil 
panniwion lo eell lliv-wuud lu bbi nai||bbow; lu 
Mawl tlie Malssff* Ma loi^lioiHe waa burnt one ntffTtt« 
and one of ht« cluidivit injuird. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 207 

He pointed to a hovel which had escaped my notice ; 
he said his family lay there at night— at present they 
were " out in the woods, looking for berries to satisfy 
their hunger," and concluded a chapter of accidents 
by reveahng a deep ulcer in one of his legs. A tree 
had fallen upon him when he first began to wield the 
axe ; he was alone in the woods, and was jammed 
down under the tree for the best part of a day, his leg 
miserably crushed ; sores and ulcers formed, which he 
could not heal. 

" By my sole exertions I have built up another log- 
house," said the poor fellow ; " the rude walls are 
standing, but the most difficult part of the job, the 
roofing-in, I despair of completing before the winter." 

Pondering upon the hapless lot of this unhappy 
man, I wended my way across a rough corduroy road 
and rude attempt at a log-bridge, over a vile, stinking 
pond or slough, redolent in marsh, miasma, and 
putrid air, and swarms of flies. A little beyond this 
romantic piece of ornamental water, I found my 
farm, or the sixty acres of clearing in woods, which 
I had walked so far to see. This farm had been 
cleared by the united exertions of three brothers 
—Old Country men, of course ; they had expended, 
according to their own shewing, about one thousand 
pounds already; they had oxen, and farm-servants, 
and hoi-ses, and cows, and a loggcry and small 
frame-house ; in short, it was easy to sec how they 
had expended their money. As yet the ground was 
as full of stumps as ever it could stick— beech, but- 
ter-nut, oak, hemlock, and some pine. They thought 
they had done wonders; for my own part, when I 
looked at the dense wall of forest which surrounded 
their little clearing, I thought by the time they had 



S08 utr n« mr. wur. 

iltMiil ilii ^ilf r- buMlndacnii^tbej would 

.. mn and tornr dd mm. Thrj dug welb far 
wAtcr, ocire m nwk at Imh* and Urc their cmitlc lt%caii 
browvr in thr woodiL 

All llirv i^rd far thrtr lainl, rlcftrrd and iiiu IcArrd, 
waa fix humlrrd |imtmU, with which ilirv mkI t)>rv 
would move into the homr district, 'llir v wrrr iMrhr- 
Ion to boot. And wanted wire*. 

•• NVhv don't Tc go into i ini." ku«1 I. ** .uhI 

lake wivw frum that ll« tth" i«»wn/ 

•Thr ChathAJu girb look very high, and give 
theimelvea ao nuuiY aira,** Mid one. 

m 

•* And lliry have no furtiinca,** aaid another. 

•• Ami the jcirU think they arc fartunea in them- 
iflTea in the co<intr>*r <ai^ a third. 

I wished these fortune-hunteia frood rvcuiog, and 
wtahetl thcT might find k ladiea with fortuiMi, 

romantic cnoi^ to yrvivr the lolitudc of thrir log- 
cahin, and log rDad* atump ficlda, and sweet piece of 
watrr, la the hafj " hum of liU-," and a cluuice of 
^mf riniof seeing a new fare, eren in that ouijikirt of 
Ci*i 'n — C'liatham. 

Havui^ made an agreement with a Wiltshire lad, 
who had a hone and gig to Irt, we slartcd awaj from 
('! itliam, on the right Iwuik uf tha Thanai» tha 
weather broiling hot. Fire or »ix miles higher u\\, tha 
tir^ became nam>w, aiul at lim« the banks pic- 
tureaqtte. lierr wc got into acme of the oM French 
frnm. which the? had diifioaed of aincc the Ust di»- 

ti. .ice; the gig also broke down, and we wcfe Uin 

to borrow a pUnk. and aubstitute it for tha rickety 
aeat, same time cutting a new linchpin from a* green- 
wood tfw. I waa not a little surprised to ftud tlie 
•bImn waa hard wood alao ; in iteu whal with 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 209 

springs and oaken pins, the gig, or double sulky was 
a wooden concern peculiar to thd country. 

" Indians !" exclaimed my whip, pointing into the 
forest. 

It was a Potta-wattomic bivouac ; half a dozen men, 
rolled up in dirty blankets, lay round the red embers 
of a fire, their feet turned towards it. On a rude sort 
of raised platform, covered with mats, snored the 
squaws and their papooses ; a few dogs and an Indian 
pony lounged in the rear ; the men raised their black 
heads as we passed, and shewed most villanous faces. 

The Potta-wattomies have been driven out of these 
lands in the States, and bands of them have migrated 
into Canada. They are regarded with a jealous eye 
by the settled Indians and whites, who say they are 
arrant poachers and horse stealers ; be that as it may, 
they seem to be very like gipsies. Sixteen miles 
from Chatham, we halted upon the banks of the river, 
and forthwith walked through some well-cleared fields, 
backed by hcavil}' timbered woods of black walnut 
and while oak. The fields of grass and weeds told a 
tale of misery and woe ; the proprietor of the farm 
had been compromised in the late troubles, had fled into 
Michigan. His farm lay neglected, and he wanted 
to sell it ; as the property was not actually confiscated, 
I thought it worth looking at. There were two good 
log houses on the premises, one of which had been 
very unceremoniously taken possession of by an Irish 
family, who, in the plenitude of laziness and power, 
were using up the adjacent barn for fuel ; besides the 
frontage to the Thames, this farm was well watered 
by a small creek running into the Thames through 
masses of fallen timber. The banks of the river were 
covered with wild gooseberry trees, laden with fruit. 



of which «r air. lopiihfr vtth wild curnuiu» 
b grrixt, aimI ch 

. i» M ihe ipoC lor a man uab aaoM cifMial.* 
Mud rov whift, «> axing cloqumt m he iBtiafiMl hit m^ 
prtilr with wikl fniii« ** This it thr wholauoir |iUrr— 
hu hettrr ihjui C^haduun,'* roniinurd he ; ** and if roti 
mlljr want a fium, tou rhit aficcd farther and tan 
wocir. 1 wuukl adviflc rou, sir,** Mid hr, ** lo Ion 
no lime about < ng tlie baffpun, far, after all. 

who knowt bol the cvwnrr niar |Hit it up to aoctioo, 
and ()»cn it it ill Imng tviire aa nuch at he mktJ' 

\» it waa fretting bte, 1 mohr«d lo cvoM the river. 
Deacended the iiire|> liank to the water^a c(i|ri*« wheo 
the lioffae auiWlrnly filiingcd inland began to swill the 
waler, while inv whip, cvpying a log caaoe Kieking 
oof a( a nuok liiglier up. went to irtch it, aa he aaid 
he vat ntrr my earpet bag woold be n|wrt iniu the 
rirrr if Ih* did not ferrr it orer in the e«ii< < 1 • 
waler about tlie the iliooni rr.i(-hed llie 

hofoe^i Antihkw , atnl I < ttetl on fff*tting aoMjr 

over to the oppoeitr . . i I oh* my eon- 

founded whip liearing down uptm iiie in a long 
onwieldy log eanoe, which lie endeaTourrd lo ilcer 
through the rapid rtirrriit with n long Mick. 

" Keep off — keep ulTT 1 liawletl in Tain. fi»r tlie 
neat inuimDt the caooe canie full tilt Agaimit the Ride 
of the horae, a vpiriietl uld rtager; he revod and 
pknged, tumetl hia head down ilie ittOMnv and away 

Be WeOt* flpbHDlllKy awMBBMBK^ OBO aBWUDllBK UUPOSglB 

the water, whdc my whip, laving huhl of tlie bark of 
th^ -_'•?. 0wang after, in bi» log eaiuie, •hooting. 
I li all he dmwnevL** Not ntlithiog il>e splaahinK. 
i waa lOMVtag^ i got a fcoud |Mdl on the rrinm and, 
•IdMlby a foagg^plHl 000 uif the whooK brought up 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 211 

the startled horse, though he splashed and kicked off 
two of his shoes, and snorted as if he saw a catamount. 
The river being thus safely forded, we returned back 
to Freeman's Tavern, where we found a heavy, spring- 
less waggon, laden with feather beds and big boxes. 2 

" It is the London mail," said my whip. 

" Do you call this lumbering w aggon the mail ?" 
said I, same time pointing to a grand placard upon a 
barn door, announcing the fares and hours of departure 
of the royal mail, headed with a woodcut of a fine 
open coach, full of ladies and gentlemen, and draw^n 
by horses at full gallop. 

" Mail's ready to start," said the coachec, tucking 
up his long blouse ; and, puUing out a tin trumpet, he 
favoured us with a whine, groan, and squeak, swinish 
enough to have roused all the pigs in the parish. 

The host asked us into his parlour, and while his 
wife prepared dinner he served up a dish of personal 
adventures and hair-breadtli 'sca})es, not unfrequently 
met with in the backwoods. He was an American 
born, of an enterprising turn ; had travelled far, been 
to the western country — the far west — spoke loudly 
about the flat-foot Indians, the crows, sauks, and 
foxes ; passed lightly over that part of his eventful 
history that wafted him from the far side of the Mis- 
sisippi, with his wife and daughter, to his present 
location as tavern-keeper in Upper Canada. He 
merely rented the tavern and a few acres ; the situa- 
tion was picturesque, and he had improved the place, 
— his garden, his melon patch, his Indian corn, his 
onions, his beans — everything seemed flourishing. 

" Have you seen Prince since you arrived ?" he in- 
quired of my whip. 



1 i»S III 
•* Noa," tl Oir %il ••but I hope* ht^ 

*• Come and M« him,* rrrlfrtlibe bote, M iihe 

wtY inlu a nnallyanl»BfKi :ig up hit Toicr balloo0d» 

•• Princr, Princr, my I'hiicr ! racnc fNil, romc out ? 
•in! ttnilc up(in your htitiiMc vuiiorK** 

A gnint wa0 the ifpopw, aihI praMiiiit f^nh 
marchrtl a rDan<I rfini-fitl ncrif>)tirc Ixmt, I' ^' up 

hU Miutit moat (IumI )v, uhilr ilic boat <1 

m 

hi* majcaiy with a liamltul ctf f^rrcii-ctim cobiL 

N 1^ the : ulilc appcftnuicey con* 

aiclmblc* c 1< ii aUnrr tlic Tluuiic% and aome old 

rlcarrd (onnn in tlic vicinitr, the hrmt aanirrd mc tbe 
ctMuiinr wai far froui liciii(( healthy. ** We have auflcred 
OMiffv f'T^^*— aince wc havr been hcrr,*' aaid lir, 
•* tlian I cYcr ex " ucv<\ in the tilaiai. Wc hiive 
bad frvcm of all ikniii— my eldaat Ixiv ii only jii»t re- 
omrerinft frani a congmtive frrrr. My wife ainl 
daughter luive liad fever and ague herr; I :w\M*lf, 
with all my |iaitiality to tbb place,** continuetl lie, 
'* liave almoBt rr«ulvetl to f|uil iL Kvery mimmcr I am 
atlacketl with a fever, which hangD about me; aiMl 
even now I am not free from it ; tlie tlighteiit Hrmlch 
on tbe akin kmen and bacomca a aoiT immariiaiirfy. 
I. -'k at mv foot ' • . chaled a little by a 

liffht aboey baa awoUro aa big aa my fint, am\ 1 am 
r i to limp about in this old f»lip|ter. Vou aaw 
tbat young woohhi who aitmdrd you at dinner; 1 
bfougbt bar bair in rude health from Drtioit, now 
abe is viekjy enough to be a burden, inttead o( help. 
Ho ! Mfttildiana ; bow ia your head, gal Y* 
** iWiter. »ir," reapondcd tlie maid. 
'* What a tt dotaf, gal r 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 2^3 

** Lying down on the bed, — I felt pretty ugly just 



now." 



" Well, stay quiet, gal, and I'll give you oil by and 
by — that will make you pretty smartish, I guess." 

This dialogue between master and maid did not re- 
store my confidence in the salubrity of the country. 
I turned into my downy bed with many misgivings, 
and lay panting and puffing for air like a porpoise all 
night. 

This momingwe pursued our journey at day-break, 
and halted to reconnoitre the gromid on which the dis- 
astrous Battle of the Thames was fought. An old 
Indian had described the battle to my guide and 
whip, and he dealt it out second-hand to me. It was 
in this battle the celebrated wamor Tecumsch was 
shot, as the Americans say, by old Tippicanoe, the 
late General Ilarrisson. The battle at best must 
have been bush-fighting, for even at the present day 
the ground is heavily timbered. When the new road 
was being lately made, several skeletons were dug up, 
and also the debris of guns, buckles, swords, and caps. 
This fight was maintained by the Indians, long after 
Proctor ran away. If he had stood his ground, even 
with his handful of men, the Indians, would have 
rallied round him till the last man was slain. As it 
was, the Indians threw the American forces into con- 
fusion ; and had not old Tecumsch been slain, the 
Americans would have had little to boast of. Further 
on, we found the site of an Indian village, which the 
Americans had destroved, and the Indians never re- 
occupied. On the opposite side of the river I longed 
to visit a peaceful little village belonging to the Mora- 
vian Indians, but my whip did not approve of fordino* 
the river again. Here an Indian rode up to us with 



tl4 UFt t3f TUB 



two pooiM ; Im M oar, a vrnr prrtiY bbck coll, wiih 
a ikiii tlrrk m a mouir, miiaII brad, ||ood ■hottldM; 
long Drrk, ami cImd bbck IrfA. I Ic wantrtl to apD— 
ftfteen cioUan was all hr mkal, ami would lake part of 
tbr |incr in gooda. The Imiian was well djT«rd in a 
aCrong iuii ofgrpj JMUi. or fiiAian. llr «raa the ton 
of the C'hirf of the MoniTian Indiana, and* aa BraM 
aai<l of a Terr fiur Indkn bo?, looked ** half i 
half Indian.* llr mm xcrj riacn rgd, hia abort 
mrtif arira brinfr C i infti w d to ** vm** and '* no," and a 
abort f^runi. i c countrr now becamr : .y 

■rttletl, but the Uiid diii ntA. aeem lu be rtry good. 
The act I lent wcfp chicflv Iriftli, aa their botMra and 
6uTiu Uiqwikr. " The Imlian root dcjdor T eiclaimrd 
mr wlii|>, aa he ihiIUhI up, and rntrriHl into mnYerai* 
tion with a tall old fellow, with ■ ahrewtl <*, 

^•* Will, Doctor; t<hi nrvrr aenl me i :.* 

** Well, 1 havetrt had time.* reapoodod the Uuctor. 
** VcMi heaid liow th« v Kicked ine up lor a month, for 
pndiibift without a *i^lii i,' thou|rh the paoplo aa 
knows me, mv* 1 caii doaaniiich niith mv little linftvr, 
as the whole budy «)f ivrannical doctorv can do with 
their diplciraa.** He ilien informetl tii he bad jual 
baan '* evriay a man far gone in ilie black jaodan^" 
^ and I'm going right away to cure a woman with a 
cancer to her tume,'* llr then boaited of his know« 
ledge o( berba and aiin)il< v ** Vou ought to take 
aooie uf HIT pi s "tr,** aaid lie to me—** I aakt 

them op of Jeadi «nd gen e w manoef%. 

' Where do joii get the Jeauil't bark> ** «aid I. 

" !•• 'Ve wood, to be aurr," rr|ilied the Doctor. 
«V ill vou hare the goodneaa to ahew me the tree J^ 

" A doieo of thain, if tou like lu follow m^" aaad 
the Doctor; and off we went into tha byabi Tha 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 215 

tree was not so easily found, though at every step the 
Doctor either phicked or pointed out some herb or 
shrub, the sovereignest remedy for pains, aches, and 
all the ills that human flesh is heir to. " This is the 
dogmatic tree, from which the Jesut's bark is taken," 
said he, having led me a pretty dance through the 
wood and swamps, for nearly an hour. 

" Why, this is a mountain ash !" said I. 

" Put on your spectacles, sir," replied the Doctor. 
" Ash, indeed ! — perhaps you can tell me the name of 
this tree, or this scrubby one, or this yarb in my hand ?" 

I was obliged to plead ignorance. 

" That's the way with the Old Country folk," ex- 
claimed the Doctor ; " tell them a thing or two, and 
they'll cry out they knew it before. Now, I shew 
you a tree — a valuable tree, which you might have 
passed ten times a day without minding; but the 
moment I point it out to you as a dogmatic, and very 
important bark — ' Oh, you knew all about it — it's a 
common tree, not worth looking at !' " 

*' What tribe do you belong to ?" said I. 

" How — tribe ! how — tribe !" inquired the Doctor. 

" You say you are an Indian doctor ; what tribe of 
Indians do you belong to ?" 

" I'm no Indian dog !" roared the medico. " This 
is the reward I get for my pains !" 

I explained. I did not mean to insult the learned 
leech — had made a little mistake. 

" But I tell vou, I am no more an Indian than the 
Governor-General," bellowed the Doctor; and we 
parted rather hastily. 

" He is a rum-'un," said my whip ; to whom I ex- 
plained this contretemps ; " and he cannot bear con- 
tradiction of any sort. I wonder ye had not a set-to 



tl6 lAtrr IS TiiK warr. 

io thd biMh ; far he at Tcry hoc aikI ton mm ht mm 
ia priion and fmrtl. ' 

llAltnl at Brptt'* Tavem, to bail: herr wr fuitnd 
ibe liHlian and hk potiin ; be had fidlen a dollar in 
the price uf his coll : but mooeir wan ao acarrr, thai I 
qiMlinn if he could get wtrtn dollan for the heel 
•iced in hb YilUge in a da/a n<^ rinallj, he put 
hia ctth into the auhle, and IrA hiiii ui the liaoda of 
hia gooil ! '. tlic taTcni-^ , to tell him for hia 

if he Ci what ia more i for Aij 

kttp^ in a \cry ahort time. 1 g taken aome tea 

and egffi lor luncheon — thia being all the boHMicouUl 
•et before ua— wc prrparrd to depart, when a hofie- 
joekcv came up to ua, and Raid there waa a friend of 
hit l^ing very ill in the uvem. *« He baa been in a 
ra^ng fcrer for aome daya," said he, " and now talka 
the gmUcal mm M nf * ever I hecnl. I wiah aome one 
would go in and talk to him, for I find tbeie it no uae 
in mjr arguing with him anj long 

**l abould think joor argumenU thrown away,** 
Mid L ♦* The num ia in a raging ferrr, vc u riv— 
why don't you go for a doctor T* 

** I aent for the doctor a few days ago, but he hai 
•o much to ' 

" If vou %»iil irll mr whrn- the iltirtor lives, if a w 
not too UkT off» I dare >ay I can M-ntl him to yo*ir 
friend." 

•• Oh, for tluu part of the matter. I can ride over to 
hia hu«uc in an ho«ir T rr|»lie<l the jockey. 

1 urg«*d him to do iu ; aiul wr ]Nulied on, reBeding 
u|Hio the many vietanludK, ilia, and ailmenta we mtv 
* ' t Iu in ihi« remote and urnii-barbaroua ivgkm. 
( ibr wooden <% and hnli for tlie night at 

1 tin the i I !• decidedly the 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 217 

prettiest spot I have yet seen in Canada. The vilhige 
is in its infancy, and the land around it being held by 
absentees and speculators, there is no immediate pros- 
pect of the peace of the valley being disturbed by a 
needy horde of land-loupers. I found my host and 
hostess civil and very obliging persons ; the former, in 
a brown study about a scrape he had been drawn into 
by the Indians, to whom, in an evil hour, he had sold 
some whisky. He said they were New York, or 
Tuscarora Indians ; and, as they were dressed like 
ourselves, and spoke good English, he never thought 
of refusing them, whereupon, one of the party went 
and lodged information against him. He was sum- 
moned before the magistrates, was to attend the ses- 
sions next day, and be fined. 

A waggon full of those said Tuscarora Indians now 
came up ; the women with papooses in their caiTcd 
cradles, and sporting men's hats, with bands of tin or 
silver lace round them, quite stylish ; the men sported 
blue frock-coats and continuations. The party had 
been to London, buying furniture for their new settle- 
ment. The tribe had recently sold their lands in 
New York, and emigrated into Canada, where they 
have purchased upwards of three thousand acres of 
land from private individuals, and then leased it from 
the crown, so as to receive the usual presents, and be 
treated with the same indulgence as the Canada 
Indians. 

Pushed on towards London, the countrv c:rowin<'' 

./DO 

more hilly and picturesque every mile. 

" My eyes, what a chance !" exclaimed my whip, as, 
jum])ing nimbly from his seat, he began to pick up 
sundry shillings and sixpenny pieces, lying on the 
road 5 and, with many demonstrations of joy and de- 



ffg t rrr tx mr w fji t. 

H^t hr xt'iyed %ht cliMi sikI «lin fWim the cebm, 
pt.. ...i m into hii pourh. Shortlr tAfr, loilifif; up a 
hill, wr met ■ neat onr-horm* pliiHon, in ik hirh iial m 
•Umt, rouml-tecd omui, • fpai^ mnxicMiB-lottliiig laHr. 
two ntini4»ii, and childrrn, all dmatd in drcriii 



1 know thai man?" ! my tr* 

** wrll, 1 clarr Mv Ton liatp lirani uf him. Thai in 
Jones ih«- IiMltan )»t*achrr, who xrcnl over to Enr- 
Uml, and marrir<l a noiiian of fortune." 

Ixmdun at last, with it4 Gothic court -houM*. and 
while ftoopa and rrd coats, arrmcil to ^ring up, frttm 
the wooclsi tt ^ which wc were traTclling, like an 

en(-tiaiitr<l ritv in the wiltlrrnesi; but the first np- 
pearance of Ixmdon from the opposite side of 
'rtuiiiiet b niorr prepoMMsing than, on cloaer inirj 
tkm. 1 fbmid it to he 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 219 



CHAPTER XII. 

A break-down — The ox and stable — Trisli settlers — North Ameri- 
can Land Company's district — A thriving settler — Goderich — 
Lake Huron — U. N. S. soldiers — Detroit — Burning of the Erie 
steamer — Makina — Indians — Chippewas and Ottauas — Lake 
Michigan — Patent windmill — Extract from the Milwakee 
Journal. 

" I KNEW he was a bad 'un," said my whip, looking 
fiercely after a stiff conceited clerico who had just 
cantered by upon his high horse without deigning to 
look down upon our shattered gig and sprawling 
gigster. 

" Never mind him, my lad,"' said I ; ^' wc can get 
on without his assistance." And we began to hammer 
up our old ])one-setter again. I could not help smiling 
at my whip's honest indignation, for in a new country 
like this, it is expected that every man will lend his 
neighbour a hand in case of any accident or emer- 
gency ; besides I had travelled with the stiff gentle- 
man in black before, and had heard him volunteer his 
advice when it was not required. It was too late to 
think of returning to London, we therefore ptished 
on, leading the horse, in (piest of some settler's house 
or tavern ; fortunately, the road was iii tolerable re- 
pair, and though the night was dark as pitch, after 
siuidry mistakes and refusals, we halted at a tavern, 
which m}^ whip discovered by the sign over the door, 
which he read thus, " The ox and sable," (aux sables.) 

l2 



LUvifif McarNl tlw hatm in the Mible 
■MMtr, we cotrred ihr log boov. Bod wco mbuIcU bj 
a «ttinly map'*' The kicchen, paHour, and ludl, into 
which wc mauc our rmirf, wm much Ufgrr ihjui 1 ci- 
|w we fboad two iliMgirciiii looking Ifubawn 

0tan : . <ip brarcK beiwe a huge firepUce and roow 
ing fire ; between theoi huii^c, or waa auapended, a 
quarter of beeC ml and raw, which ihejr were weigh- 
ing after their own (aahion ; a rerv dirty and tuicotiili 
woman nuraed an infant in tlit* ci • j comer ; two 
haif-clad urchins peeped (nwn behind her; thiee 
ragged bojrt occupied the other corner. And the 
weighing of the beef ended, and the dog tumc<l out, 
with aome diffirulty, we were | tied to approach 

the fire ; the- men rettinud, iw tiirv Mid, to look after 
the hone : and preientiv we baanl a nobj diapoie 
aboot the 

•* Twopenee a pound— aoo! — iwoj • p«i. .r 

that red meat, i« it T 

** Av, ami it*0 little enough for m}* lalxMir, (let alone 
the luns)dn^ging it through the wooda for five or tii 
Biilnk** 

** Be eamr ; you know rerv well a » latle lM*iier ilian 

• • • 

carrion — the cow dietl a natural death." 

** IM like to are the niaii dor vav ihnt but >• T. 

« • 

Dietl! I kill ; iiiv own limnd ! Thru it 

the began to tlruop, an«l her toncne t «., 1 

killetl her." 

Here tlie eonrefiation wa« canied on in whifpenR, 
and «M»e of the men (otir Ikm^ > rrlumed, and detnatMletl 
if we would n«»l eat KNne fuft - ' IMenly of lieef 
here, gentlemen,** mid ! '* \\ r can ro«»t a piece in 
five xmT 

If I ha<i not cArd the- « >. I dara aajr 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 221 

I would have gladly acceded to the proposition. My 
whip betrayed the same disgust more openly ; and 
we determined to have some milk, which our lovely 
hostess proceeded to boil in a singular utensil, used 
for sundry purposes — baking bread, stewing meat, 
and now boiling milk to the consistency of sour curds 
and buttermilk. This delectable beverage was set 
before us in two basins, but it smacked so con- 
foundedly of onions and grease, that I would not swal- 
low a tithe of it; and finding the heavy wet-bread as 
sticky as beeswax, and about as eatable, I begged 
leave to retire, if our fair hostess could accommodate 
me with a bed. 

" A bed between the pair of ye, I suppose," said she. 

" A shake down anywhere b}' myself," said I ; and 
after a deal of whispering we were shewn into a small 
room with three beds. The host, hostess and his 
children occupied the larger, and we were soon wrapped 
in the arms of Morpheus. 

Waking up with the cold, some time during the 
night, I was surprised to see the room brilliantly illu- 
minated by the silvery rays of moonlight streaming 
down upon our beds through numerous chinks in the 
roof and crannies in the wall. Truly, the Irish pea- 
santry are behind all others in the comforts and neces- 
saries of civilized life. I cannot say they make the 
best settlers in a new country ; they expose them- 
selves to cold, and heat, and damp, in the Avoods, just 
as freely as they do in their native wilds, and soon 
feel the bad effects of such rashness. Dear-bought 
experience comes too late, and when fever and ague 
has done its work, they lose all heart, and betake 
themselves to drink, or make tracks, as the Yankees 
say — plunge deeper into the wilds, and perish. The 



'lit ufft 1% rue w 



• ■>ri 
1 i 



Irwh women an m iwk>m art in ibc v 'n.< : 

4IICC uf the art uf cuokcry i» • md iira«l>aik lu 
the luifvpifieai of their h i M hwufa aiid c luklr« u. 'V\un 
ihcy caa liuil a put of |iu(al(irfs u aUowcd oa all haodii ; 
biit ill C'anacla mm rr<|iurr a luorr georroiti diet l) 
poUOocik Since tlic Mrh«j(>liiiaMrr b abffoad, 1 dut 
•ce whv the cook ■faottld aUj at bomr. \h. liowriiig, 
itf tome of uur practical nictit ahould take ihii> ihiii^ 
ill hand — a meaaiire of micIi vital inifionaoce ought 
not to be ncgU lent cuoka ahoukl br 

«nt out, and cuukcrr adiooli onprht to be establkiicd 
ihrou^huut Inlaml. My midiughl lucubraliuoi weir 
^|K*c<lily brought tu a cluac, when my eye irttctl upon 
a ftliining maai at the fuot of my lieil ; stretching out 
my arm anddenly, i clutched (no ^ air-iirawn daQer,** 
Imii ) a rib of tlie qiuurter of raw beef» which my h«t 
in the I idc of his bofpitality, had laid between 

ont braib 

>ull drt • the Ixff, wc I i 

ing u|ion a .. ^ L*fQ^ ^e cow having carried €4[ 
the milk into the vroods ; ami while my whip put to 
our trusty roadster, I paid the scorv, which, by an 
rfTirt of ' at all rare, our boat bad d i ico w w d 

to be fifloirii »iiiiiiiigs Halifax currency. I ilrm 
and ■■ the fellow pn-trndcMl to be a tavem>kee|MT» 
•hewed hiui tliat 1 IumJ not the lcai4 idea of bring im- 
posed on— iicmanded the items ainl ilittos— HH^t tliem 
li luti uu a leaf of mv note hook, and bv bis own 

•^*ng» rtnluced lii» bill InMii lifWii r^ .ig« down 

to ten, which I |iaid him for the so«ir milk, InmI brrail. 
stale eggs, and m** * ^il of wild liay our lioivr had 
<tl cm «^ ' M awav from 

hi* tavern full nm ^^ i we entcrrd it. 

The road to ( K t^t inlefMliiig I b 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 223 

yet travelledj running through dismal forests, seldom 
enlivened with a settler's hut, and a few acres of clear- 
ing; the stillness and silence of the woods have a 
singularly depressing effect on the spirits, and as for 
birds, deer, or game of any sort, I can safely say I 
never saw a single tail or feather in my perigrinations 
from Chatham to Goderich. To be sure, in the vici- 
nity of Chatham I have seen a few black squirrels and 
some red-headed woodpeckers, but such " small deer" 
cannot be called game, even in Canada. 

We are now in the North American Land Com- 
pany's territory. In some places the woods are not 
so heavily timbered, and considerable improvements 
have been made. The uniform price of the company's 
land is said to be three dollars per acre : the road is 
very good, and the air seems purer and clearer. 

" Hello ! what news about the contest ?" bawled a 
man from an oak-clearing and barn, half a mile off. 
He soon came running down to hear our reply. 

" What contest ?" said I. 

" Oh, the contested election," said he. " When 
did you meet the commissioners ? They \vanted to 
examine me, but I'm no politician." 

" We are well met then, friend," said I. " Hang 
politics ; I never trouble my head about them." 

" I'll take a seat in your gig to Goderich," said this 
worthy axeman. 

" Noa, you can't, man," replied the whip ; " the 
gig's all in a smash, and I wont carry any more 
weis;hts." 

A mile further on we stojiped to bait at a good 
frame cabin, with garden and clearing. The proprietor 
of this farm soon arrived from the woods: he had a 
team of oxen, cows, and hogs, a lot of two hundred 



S3H UFB HI TMC 

acTMOO* »hIc . road; 1 Te vid rl a 

looked haf«p7 and o . aihI il»r nuui himielf was 

a fineapccimrtiofa pionnf. lie bad almHlYclraivd 
thttt (aniu— iriltfift olf, iNilting fOfvv^'^*ti^ lu wind- 
wafd— iiulling up Makes as the \ tmaixa aat, and 
marrliiiig afrrsh into tbc woodn 

*' I liavc now TiAy or wrrv* of Hub ium • ' <1 

aixl t'riiccdy'* »aitl he ; ** 1 ha\r t 1 bamf, thm 

hoaw, and otl '%ctiieiits nail' I i m-11 jou 

this fann at it icaiids, and I'll be reaaooablc iti my 

•• And where will jrou go, if rou aril your (arm ?* 
aid I. 

" Inlo the I)ii3»h. rirh.i}»* ;ilM|j;r>„u ,,f voii ; thai tn, 

** I ^^ i ^' ^ IN lie luippv (o liave i»o goud a iieigh- 

( , then— will viMi make me an oiler for the 
farm?" nmcbte«i the wuudmaii. 

1 de% ; making any offer fur the |)ffr«ent, aiul |Nir» 

Mieti my journey tu (juderich, where we arhvrtl jttst 
as the laat rayt of the aon went down, in I<ake I lurtMi. 

The town of Guderich atandt on a high IwijiL. 
ahove llic hi- ii has a bleak and exposed afipear- 
at .uitl, an at Cliatluun, I frit in 1 (n < i 

aipunst the I iig mania tliat seema tu pnawai Old 
Country |ieople. IiHlead of ealahliahtnft themaeKrs in 
the woods, they ex|ieiid tlieir capital upon htnises and 

st' ■■■ **'r* town, and, so far from inipniving their 

cotiUiiuiu uy emigration, lliey are frri|ueutly woivc oA 
in tliosr t>ew colontal lowiwi, tluui in tlie old e»ta- 
hlbbed towns at home. Kur my own |iart, I eanniH 
foneeive wh.a the |ie4>|)lr wouhl Ik* al-hii 
together, hag and higgage, into every bit of cleaned 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 225 

swamp, cut up, gridiron-wise, into streets and lanes, 
in which the poor devils purchasing lots are invited to 
build houses, and establish another thriving new town. 
If people must, and will live together like a swarm of 
bees in a hive, they ought to thrust themselves into 
the midst of Manchester, Birmingham, or London, 
where they may enjoy all the bustle of life, and be 
fooled to the top of their bent, without running the 
risk of crossing the Atlantic in a rotten vessel, and 
seeking society in the back woods of North America, 
llic winters are said to be very severe here, especially 
when the winds sweep over the half-frozen lake. The 
harbour, at the mouth of a small river, called the 
Maitland, (by the way, a very dry name for a river,) 
is said to be secure ; certes, the craft therein run 
little risk of being swamped, one very small boat, 
high and dry on the shore, and the little American 
steamer, being the only vessels I saw. To be sure, 
they say the fishing boats arc all out at their stations, 
somewhere in Lake Huron ; but, considering this is 
the only port on the Canada side of the lake, I ex- 
pected to have seen something more. 

Took leave of my whip. Poor fellow ! he seemed 
very much cast down at the thought of returning 
to his home alone. *' But needs must," said he ; " if 
I could sell this old horse here, I would embark along 
with you, sir, and may be I would have a chance of 
seeing the Old Country once more." 

Before I embarked, my stick and umbrella, which 
I had lost between London and Goderich, was re- 
stored, by an Irishman, who had picked them up, and 
now modestly demanded two dollars for his pains. I 
gave him half a dollar, and left him as happy as 
a king in the bar of my hotel. 

L 3 



'Hic Cjmada C • iu| oitv |wy ihr pr u| Mir to n i of the 
Ucjuiacr a ru«UMl tuni in luifti iii»lUfB Uf€ rttry vint 
nkl Mcanicr [my% to (juilrricli, iIkmikIi nritlKT ftriKhl 
nor I— Bnn> ri frum iIiai |iurt would paj ibr rxpeoie 
of llic trip ; wnl as it t», tho o^iuiii atfurrti im- it mw 
• loMng connni. 

We bail ill ili«* ftnrt cabiii two AiiH-rioMM fruiii Vir* 
I ; thc^ liml •«il«llc4n|pi aimI \>ox€m full tif |t«olo- 
fpcal spedmeiii^ which ilirj IukI reemtljr culln>tc-tl in 
their tour thriNigh C Canada, and wen* a|Cfrral4r aiid 
inlcUigciit mciu Our dajr V ^uyagr cm the Ukr %nu 
rcty niocKiCoiioui, the heat vrrj opprnvirr, ami ih« 
view liniite<l, owinp' to n while* linxe, which filled the 
air ajMl nlfei-leil the c^yciL 1 liave hiiux* lic*ard that 
caacKof o|thth.ihiii;i an- l>v no uicaiwrarr in ()iij» try 
l«av-tu at I • rt (iratiat, while a roui]iajijr of llie 
U. N. 8. ortilU r\, ami aonie p r ia onc w cmam on board 
to be convrvcd down to iK-troiu 1 wa» ainuie«l at llie 
aour luoka and crabhctl aftpearmmx of their dwarftfli 
fitem and dnimtnenu 'Hiey i»iruck up •• Yankee iKio- 
die/* ** J lajl, i % ' " lu id I iilieriuuioiudairai when- 

ever we iirantl tl. :iada lidr. The whlieni aa cm w i 

little iiatiiAed at tl mtv of the aervicx* ihe^r were on 

tbe rout for, and four or fn-e of them were iimler 
arrest for rrfrattonr eondoct. l*he tlorida war ami 
the Indian hHc*«i U^nf; little to the taMe uf tbe cuq%» 
ibmigh iIm' nia}«wi**^ •■'* ihein U'longetl lu tiie |Mit***'^- 
ctouii natives whuei: oona fight for fun and frv>iiv* 
more than for wealth or gfory, llw ottrm and 
tiN'ir wive* MTinetl to hnve n little of ihr rfftnt tir ct»rpi 

abo; thev M-rtnetl to think it ** a nrntY coOMdrrahle 

• • • 

bore" to l>e ? off i t the Httl Seniiiiol. 

Bill Jonr», '1 . and < 

Intiudillg to wait (he- nrmal of (bc JJJTM 



LIFE IN TUE WEST. 



227 



I stopped at that most stupid of all stupid places, De- 
troit. The weather was most infamously close, damp, 
and hazy ; everything seemed redolent of fever and 
ague. I tried the theatre— found it deserted; the 
very fiddlers refusing to play to empty benches; 
while a neighbouring store-keeper accounted for the 
absence of play-goers, by saying that the company 
was made up of all the " hard cases" in Michigan. 

The bar-room of the American was the only place 
in which a newspaper could be seen for five minutes, 
and the general stillness and dulness of the place was 
only varied by the loud coughing of the steamers, 
as they paddled up and down the Detroit. A steam 
ferry-boat constantly plies from Detroit to Sandwich, 
which I visited twice during my sojourn at Detroit. 

The land on the Canada side is held by French 
Canadians and Americans, and the farms have quite 
an Old Country look. 

The non-appearance of the Erie steamer caused no 
small anxiety in the town. The bar-rooms of the 
American were crowded with townspeople, anxious 
to hear the news, (if any ;) and a variety of drinks, 
gin-slings, and sherry-cobblers, were hastily swallowed 
with every vague report, till at last the sad truth 
flashed upon us. The Erie, as all the world knows, 
was burnt on lake Erie, and an unknown number of 
souls sent to setde their last account. Hosts of towns- 
people gathered round every one who had later tidings, 
and the newspaper-offices were beset with crowds, 
seeking authentic information ; but when the steam- 
boat despatched from Detroit in search of survivors 
returned with only two— the captain and a boy — 
severely burnt, I never saw blacker despair, and mor- 
tification more deeply and suddenly stamped, than 



SS8 urt iM THE wBirr. 

ujiuii ^jmt uf ihr r&|)rctaiil cru>ftiL \ < i 

not a vofil — not a miiniiur, e tc apwl ibein; a^ c^cry 
nuui wcut qiiicllv to hb own I^Ucr, to vent hU fcriti 
fur iKc IcMi of fricmLi ami rrUtivrt, in phiralr. 

At Uit, I am rrjoiced to mv. I liavr p»i n. 
Mitt of P ', and oocr monr licail up ilic Si. i ua, 
111 the ftiriuiicr o( my choice, the galUiii IIliiKtiA. In 
tlic* bar-room I fouiid a tall. mtt«ruUr voung won of 

I Uliour, wlio had rvMnicnl frtjni the wrrtk 

1 . * fCMuncr. Our captain, Hlakr, lu lib credit 
lie it upoken, gave him fn*e iMMnge, bed, board, and 
drink, for nothing. He was, therefore, a sort of li^f^ 
in ^■ ■ av, and told hii* •♦ thrice-told talc" of all i»it 
|H r.. ..iid daager» he hiul t>!ic*a|)cd, with a good gnu^ . 
lie haid the lM>ilcr-<leck waft vcr\' much ' U and 

tin* iMMaoe-monev was not lialf itaicl, xsUvu liie flaaie 
hum out, with an exphMiuii, fnim aomr < 
cant right over the ! 
urntrrni niBhed forward, with ** o ^cU," and cr^- 

.;cck no, that it was impomible to gel liack or for^ 
wanL An the engines coidd not \ic mopped, the speed 
of the boat was ver}' ■ the wind (for it was 

tig a gale) toon blew u\» (iie flames to the hurri- 
cane deck ; *^«iul then,** said our iiit >l, ** the Swim 
and Girauuit began to juiupo%'eriM»Ar iUicc|s nnd 
at (ast aa thcj got into the water, the |)addlc-whet*U 
made maih of them." Ik- described the moat heart- 
..>..ng aceoet — women tying children ruiiiul them — 

r r-tf-n aod girb juniplT:- <verboard, haiHl-in- 

1.4;. ;. i inallj, he scrambled u)»uii fiart of the |Nuldlr- 
bux, and j * 1 the water, so as to MOi|ie from 

the wheel ., be rtadd !»Hiiu ; Stnick < i' 

frtiiii the ' . iiiaaa, and got (»f a fl< 

.. .i,ou bv rented, . i.t ..i^> l!ic Lm , >.^' 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 229 

a floating volcano, wheel round in her mad career, 
and return in his direction. This he described as 
being the most horrible part of the affair. To avoid 
being run down and crushed, he was forced to abandon 
his plank, and swim, for a long time, till he found the 
boat keel, with several people clinging to it ; he held 
on also, and saw the Erie' sweep past, like a mass of 
fire, while shrieks, and groans, and yells, told that 
some miserable wretches were still alive. It is said, 
two hundred souls, men, women, and children, perished 
in this dreadful manner. The poor Swiss httle calcu- 
lated upon such a sad catastrophe, when they left their 
own wild hills and lovely lakes, enduring all the hard- 
ship and fatigue of a long sea voyage, to perish thus 
so miserably, in sight of their land of promise. 

Makina, or Makinaw, with its antiquated French 
villao-e and white-walled fort on the heights, is the 
most European-looking spot I have yet seen m this 
New World. This was one of the earliest, and I be- 
lieve principal stations and rendezvous of the great 
fur-trading companies, servants, chasseurs, Indians, 
and mighty hunters ; and at present it has all that 
stirring appearance of mimic war, owing to the sudden 
influx of Indians ; a regular gathering of the Chip- 
pewas and Ottawas seems to have taken place, and 
their long rows of wigwams, fires, canoes, picturesque 
dresses, varying from the eternal blanket, to the doe- 
skin hunting coat, scarlet leggings, and ornamental 
moccasins of the Indian braves and warriors, as they 
strode up and down the lake shore, mingled with 
French fishermen (half-breed), squaws, smart grey 
uniform of the U. N. S. troops from the fort, and 
presently the pink, green, and yellow parasols of our 
lady piissengers, escorted by our exquisites, in their 



W TUC «l 



abonHi, pfMrntcd m romp tTtttt frmn the prxMOMMilt 

deck of oiif dulling aiid ipilv-prr ^1 •iramcT, 

rwrlr to be net with in tbv mkUt m mul Uket and 

« 

dwubu i«|;ioiit. Srtvnd (if oar dcck-fi«migHi» 
tradrn and |wdlcT», went Mbofv, and quarirrrd tbtOH 
•elves in the vilb^, jcct Jieing t»» trade away 

their tnimpenr with ihr liuliJifif wheor%rr they were 
IMud. I rrgrrllcd lo fiiHl drunkn. 1 Ibna King 
about the lake shore in every direction. The poor 
iodiiitnous fquawt, who hare all the Ubour and 
vaatmry on their barks, were biixilv cmplored deantr:- 
wliile firii, \\\\\v\\ their Umia and ii—Ufi pfv«ei> 
■dd to iK ilem in that article, %vh(t. with ilieif 

wfirimcn, were bunilv at work, ham tip and 

ladtinft i«id fvih ; while othen» paid the Itxluim, in the 
|H> itoofea. with whiaky. There waa a peipeltial 
huwhnf( aiul monolfliioiia fcrota and hum riaing firom 
•erend of the wigwaow, and aooie of tlie ladie« ex- 
pr e id a desire tn prep into one of them : we tlirv 
foe a u rro u pded one of thoae lodgea, and looking m. 
through the chinkn of the mats, t>eheld alxHit a doMB 
■wn and women apraw I ground, aome with 

wbieky boCliea in thrir lianda, cfatfiting a noeC dia> 
cordant ami dirgt*-hk(* snnff, which one of utir |ian j 
said waa a Uif ^ong , ^ a h oa r r- h endcd cliit( a 

rerj vminr «-^"4w, and uthrni, were wallowing together 
in a slate h,.m it <iecmcy forfiids me to describe. Our 
bdiea, indeed, ran back to ilie rteamer and hid ihrtr 
bluilMt; for my own |mrt, 1 waaquitt diigumd wiiii 
the iicx»ne of riot and ' v 1 witncMid oo every 

side, and ftiUowcd i Wr found a fe n ewblt 

old chief of iIm Ot(s««AN m* aoai« y 

liuium*, «^ . deek; ba 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 231 

neither could nor would speak English or French, 
though he seemed desirous to shew that he was very 
friendly. He had fought against the Americans in 
the last war, and, like many of the Indians congre- 
gated here for payment, contrived to get paid in 
Canada also. I observ^ed the Indians very proudly 
displayed their English blankets, or any other article 
they possessed of English manufacture. Having 
taken in our supply of wood, we walked away from 
Mackinaw, and left the Indians in their glory. I 
remarked to some of my fellow-passengers, that I had 
not seen a single good-looking Indian woman among 
the motley crew on the island, and they had not been 
a whit more successful. The drudgery and misery of 
the Indian woman is stamped indelibly upon her 
broad, meek, melancholy face, while her pigeon-toed 
gait, and stpiab figure^ declare her to be inured and 
doomed to slavery, from papoose to toothless squaw- 
hood. 

While we made a splendid run through that deep, 
inland sea. Lake Michigan, I was amused with the 
versatile genius of one of the passengers, who had 
wooed the smiles of fortune, in every known trade and 
profession in the Union with little success, though 
now he seemed to have got to the top of the tree in 
his own estimation, for instead of regulating a bank, 
as director, or vetoing a bank bill, as president, he had 
invented a windmill suitable to the j^rairie — had actu- 
ally gone to Washington and lodged his model wind- 
mill in the Patent Office, lie had another model 
along with him, which he presently took from his deal 
chest, and hooked it together; it seemed to me to be 
a very complicated affair: a large horizontal wheel, 
with upright frames, like Venetian blinds, or jealousies, 



to otfch the wiiid ; tlic vpcrtl of thr mill lo lie rrgu- 
lalcd bv ihr ofirnifig and •htiltin^ of aud windows, bj 
torn* i« tri UiMikt and gjrtt allarhrtl to the > -t( f»)iiiA. 
Ilir fn-1* I WM nlv II vm* iiicr iiinT <»rm<»ri- 

• • I 

Buuiili:: rtir tiiill-boiMC aii«l aJI the ma< :y, 

mtllnit . 'tiul l>oltiit^ ttiAchiiir rradj for w«>il 
«* Ni»w then," Mid ihc Rrcal invnilnr, •* III tx-i lirr 
A-fpoiiifc;" and londnr | im f ng rfn Irmlitiir « liaiid. ihi* 
wifuliiiill WM liot»ir«l on the* |iromctiailc-drck, when 
I he ladic* and exf|uijtiic« crowtlnl aUml to iire itji per- 
fivrniAiicT. The mill waa adjiHtcd on top of a flat 
>* ' 'it, and noon wcni mrmly r '.to the prral 
(! t of all, but tinforti v the wind was bit > 

frcah. and the inventor. ^ tin^ to r%\ the 

S|)eed of hit( mill, n 1 .i rap on the km. that 

made him }»in|r out. lie then nttcmpteil lo slop it 
altoffcther. Stop it, indeeil ! As well might he have 
attemptetl to ntop the steamer l>v !•*•".; hold of tlie 
|iaddle«whrel«. Round flew the \»iiui;iiill, while its 
owner, liV' Don Quixote. I to arrest itn 

spee<l, which ww ' thr ilnav with it* inaehinery. 

He ^ticvet-^ltil in i<x>- ^' H4IIIU* long wimt, which 

^' I to inm*a«ie the %« v inilU\«ht'X'U, and 

rendere<l it actuallv unitafc to .^ .uh it, as the long 
nhaqt wirm and luHiki spun nMuxl (he edges of (he 
wheel. 1 inallv, the projector was ohligetl to leave his 
iditl to the tport o( winds an<l waves, and the n^xi 
morning, when I mounted the deck, I fotmd the pour 
V till ipiict enoqgbf a nidnncholjr wn 

" MdwnkeeT out •uiidry paf»ci i\» we 

let off our steam, and made !« off a high, Uild 

»liorr, on which a lighthouse and sundrv uhiic liuild- 
ings lMK*kr<( ^^^\U lUrk woods, ap pt w wL TreientJT 
mtoidl •^ r rame out nf the Milwakoc fiver, and 



LIFE IN THE AVEST. 233 

we were boarded by a crowd of anxious-looking 
people, inquiring- after the fate of the Erie. They 
brought newspapers to us, and we left some of our 
passengers with them. I was so much struck with a 
leading article in one of those pa})ers, that I transcribed 
it into my note-book, siir le champ : — 

" Wisconsin is a young buffalo : and though in a 
minority, he roams over his beautiful prairies and 
reclines in his pleasant groves, with all the buoyant 
feelings of an American freeman, lie slakes his 
thirst at the purest fountains that gush from the 
adamantine base of his lovely soil, and bathes at 
pleasure in his limpid lakes, paved with agates and 
sapphires. lie paws up lead with his hoofs ; he 
j)loughs up iron and zinc with his horns; and culti- 
vates the richest soil the green earth affords. When 
John Bull talks of war, he stretches his nuiscular 
form on his elevated plains, and shaking his head, 
looks at the North East Boundarv ; then casting his 
eye at the Oregon, he bellows in thunder, his eyes 
flash in lightning ; he whisks his tail in the whirl- 
wind, shakes his mane in the tornado, and, like the 
war-horse, snorts vengeance at the minions who would 
dare to desecrate the soil of freemen ; and his (the 
young buffalo's) sons, being descendants of those 
])uritan patriots who some seventy years since made 
a batch of cold tea in Boston Harbour, rather than 
pay tax without a representation in the body which 
levied it; and being themselves taxed in the revenue 
they consume, and in the lands upon which they live, 
without a direct representation, they feel the humi- 
liation of their condition. 

'* It being the law, however, they submit; but only 



tS4 Lira iM 

in tht aotictpalioo of MMii p— liiy frpi • minor loft 
m^jor tAMtr, when ibrj will ^*r rtthermr aw) moir 
eoiiifcinAi'*^* -4(UAic«L But i> mcauiinu-, :...^* 

tired a c!-* -tie in (* ---r- „j„j caii |4rafd ibctr 
caiiM* aiKi with wonU liuU biini 

ami in UligiM|;tr litui Mill *«*^»g^— *, 00O% and 

prfviMKle.*— Mihtaktt JomrmmL 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 235 



CHAPTER XIII. 

Chicago — Old block house — Military Land-agent — The Colonel's 
farm — Ride through the prairies — Indian compass — Prairie 
riowers — Squire Smaus — The Colonel's friends — Iloosier's 
camp — Young Men's Association. 

Chicago, commonly called the city of cities, the 
capital of the Western world, and sniidry high-sound- 
ing titles, too numerous to insert, I found to be a 
thriving town, situate on a flat marsh, washed by the 
lake, a muddy river, heavy and abundant showers of 
rain — dried again by lake winds, prairie winds, and 
gleams of sunshine. 

Clambering into one of the train of vehicles sent 
down from the hotels, I bid the Illinois good morn- 
ing, and whirled over the bridge at full gallop, to the 
Tremont House. Got established in a single-bedded 
room, and, having breakfasted, salHed forth to recon- 
noitre. Detesting flats and marshes most cordially, I 
was far from being enamoured with Chicago ; and the 
pale visages of the store-keepers and clerks, as they 
opened their store windows, and peered up and down 
the streets for customers, told tales of marsh miasma, 
and all the ills that spread beneath its baleful influence. 
Nathless, it is contended that Chicago is healthy, and 
woe betide the luckless wight who maintains to the 



33i Ltri: l)( THK %l|JiT. 

c-imtrATA '. i : . >« |Mft, a* I |Mir^»»M tnakiiig 
irarlu in a lew • i U fpcai niv miiMi, and, a» ibr 

T It cfrtiimiii voTap*tir> mi\ -— ^AaMr mt* impoHe. 

i'itr fimt pUcc I i wsii ilir c4d l>l<t(-k InKiir 

■ml M(iiarr . )i t»r ibc nvrr, iwir- 

r> • , .ilriL It WA.*» licix- iIh whiiei 

wrrr i < ii-rrtl lu a lujui l>^- tlic liulmiM; ami* mtv 
M7«0, the Indiami, if nui nUiii, wrrc flourrti, liain- 
l^r-'-'.-tl, niin-M|iia(i(llril, ami liiiallv i»wr|i| awav frtmi 
ihiir lallHrUiid Ijv iIic while* iiian'B w|ii»kv, iM'iiig aoo- 
iber Iniiinph nf whisk v-ImMiIc rrmu loaMhawk. 

•• ^^ !»• II ihr In.%! | lU wan iiiaclr, mhim* five or ms 

^ram airf),** NUil a frMiilciiiaji, (unto whum you shall lir 
intr ly.) ** ilic airwiB atid Uim* thr 

prmiric and the rivrr I inks gftMUicd beneath llie weight 
uf dninkeii Indianii. TluTe y<Mi might ice^the huarj 
ehicf wallowing in the mire benide hi« naketl rhildrrn, 
while gn>cerieii and gro^-abopa, erretetl for the ocra- 
W'Mi, I fire-water n|»»»n the d* " d 

r»cr, %» id thnr inrthrii^tit for a few gul|»» .d 

whisky, i he momrnt they nt*ei%e<l the m 

the agenla, away ihey |Mjstinl lu the grueerV, dmnk nil 
all waa gone, nnd then iitnp|)etl off tlieir hlankcljs 
iiMMTMoni, ami furn. Many rx*iierTing n«>t MiHit^ienl 
elcHhing to eoirer tlieir nake«lnefl«, went f«>rth into ilie 
wiltlenien* to brave tlie inclemeney of the weal her, 
and drag I heir weary lindw to the ] U 

liryund the M Tndy ihr whiir uuin ha* 

been MllW-if ndv r 1 fur nil tin* ii> «1 

frtMii the n-tl man at i hirago. 

maiw, plans and}iri»'>j t 

my eye, in a 0aahy More wimluw, I halleil. at 

man, in a tight Imiwn froek, black mlin aloek. and 
iaodjr wbiskcns invited nie to enter bin ttffkr ami io- 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 237 

spcct his maps, &c., at leisure. He introduced himself 

as Captain , land agent, &c., wished he could 

induce me to settle in the country, expatiated upon 
the beauty, the fertility, and rising prospects of Illi- 
nois — " the garden of America, which rivals, as one of 
our poets says, the garden of Eden," said the captain, 
jocosely, turning over the leaves of an old account- 
book. 

I thanked the captain for his attention, assured him 
that I had enough of the old Adam in me to create a 
hankering after the garden of Eden ; assured him it 
was my intention to devote the residue of my days 
upon a farm, be it in Illinois or Tonagtaboo. 

The captain proceeded, with much gravity, to exa- 
mine his books, papers, and old newspapers. 

*' The fact is," said he, " there is such a run — such a 
rush of emigrants. New Englanders, and foreigners, 
seeking for good locations, that all the land is bought up 
round this district, with the exception of this quarter 
section, on the north branch, and this one on the lake 
shore, north of the city by twenty-five miles. But, ha ! 
ay, here I fix it at last — the colonel has a property, an 
estate, a park, a residence fit for a nobleman or gen- 
tleman to reside on, but, most unhappily, I believe he 
has already disposed of his estate," said the captain. 
" Excuse me, sir," said he, seizing his hat, " I'll run, 
and ask the colonel to step this way." 

The captain disappeared, and presently returned, 
followed by a tall, severe, and yellow-visaged gentle- 
man, loosely attired in dingy white, or whitey-brown 
linen shooting-jacket and pants. The captain intro- 
duced this gentleman to me, hoping we would become 
sworn brothers. 



238 uni nt niK 

The r<.l.»nrl nil n.l. I In- !»mwny mntwy fbl, and 
rl- ' ii.iiijiU . iIm" ookmel 

dr -*>*n |«n with ihc apple of 

hi* r\r, hi«i 1, or Miv other imUyfiwibig 

membrr of 1. .;wanl man aa liu |iraine &nii and 
wood«4oC< belonging therrtt) ; but clirr iircrMitT com- 
pelling, be waa leguUrl V Cnrc*d, nml wuuUl njiT(ii«lrr lo 
fate, aiul (klc alunr. He hatl cIujm*ii ihin fanii wbilr 
in fwnmanH of aoine tniopa, —ining the Indiana to 
cvacualp ihr prijMiiaa, Soiiltrn with the braiilT uf the 
•<|H>|, be built a booie tbeieon, bought the lainl at 
(»uveniiiMMit prirr. i .e<l it, endoaed il« and all 

thai hr .'U'Lfil fur it was thne dulUn and one liair|»i*r 
acve. lit- calculate* 1 the timberJoCa would pay ilie 
|Hjrebaar-monrv, M>eiiig tliat limber waa onlj tour 
dollan a curd in C^hirago, and his lot waa noC more 
than I went V miles fnmi town. 

I molvrd lo nn* the (■••Inm I'h frtnn nt or He 

would have |miI off ihi- vi<»i( t«>r :i li.iv or two. hut I 
waa anvioiKi to nee it. 

**M\ li,** Mid the colonel, intnidiiriii|( me lo a 
lall chip nf the old blork. thtriK ntfiml in Itnrn 
garm* ntA. 

1 iui. jcMilli decUretl '* their homea could nc4 gallop 
faai enough— one lieing nhort of wind, and the ocber 
laMeofa leg; aiul thr ihorl nii«I the long oflhr tnnttrr 
it, yo«i : hin- m hitg>;v .iixl Uimiw n hor«<*. 

** Aim! ^M> nbarea in th< bamp^y,** aaid the (mI.hk I. 

I rrtiinictl to TrfnH»iit H<ni«<«*, ami pniientlv the 
bugjgjf aiadt iln aftfieanmrr liefiirr the door: the 
colonel gar* me a Irilcrof ininMhirtion lo an etcelh >•? 

neigbbo«ir ofhia— one *55i|uirr , who would ^n. 

me cxcry infunnalion 1 rr«piirrd, loaHd hii aon mnne 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 239 

silver to pay for his dinner, bade him be steady, and 
away we rattled through Chicago, as fast as our old 
chesnut cob could tug the jingle at his heels. 

The colonel's son, a fine, intelligent young fellow, 
entered into long details of his hunting expeditions; 
how he had rode down prairie wolves, bagged prairie 
hens, slaughtered deer, hunted buffalo, though he 
frankly admitted he had never slain a Ijulfalo. 

The marsh or prairie lands over which we rode was 
partially enclosed, and a few fields of Indian corn, 
and scattered trees on the ridges or high parts of the 
prairie, broke the monotony of the scene ; but I 
looked in vain for the flowers, rich and rare, said to 
be found wild on the prairie. Yellow and pale red 
flowers of the connnon classes, and the Indian com- 
pass or rosin weed, was the only genus new to me. 
To this weed, or herb, the colonel's son directed my 
attention, frecpiently. It looks like a fern, the leaves 
much stronger, point north and south ; it bears a yellow 
flower, which, once broken of\\ the resin or gum 
exudes, and is eagerly gathered by young ladies, who 
wish to preserve their teeth. This gentleman like- 
wise informed me, that the Indian name, Chicago, 
signified skunk, or polecat ; and hereafter the citizens 
will be called skunks or skunkers, I calculate. 

Twelve miles from (Chicago we deemed it prudent 
to halt at a tavern kept by a Yorkshireman ; he had 
been six years in the country, but the world did not 
smile upon his tavern. He told me he had been happy, 
once upon a time, and only so-so ever since. He had 
refused twenty thousand dollars for his lot in Chicago, 
did not jump at the offer, and has been going down- ) 

hill fast, ever since. He refused that little fortune for 
a dirty bit of swamp. 






C JO um IX TiiK wr^rr. 

*' Ilerv u aiwibcr a- • ■ * « bainctcr, ' tUougui i« 

M I coat/Bfted ibc |il ^uri^' iAii, brt> 

UM tniifaffuim» with ti. .•../• Vafikrc,*|iniig- 
ing up frucn the aloii^ - ^Liv • {icdlrr, 

toiiiMfTuw ftgentleman-HUw. 

Ila^nig dtaptchrd our cimiicr uf L . , 
antl wet {loUtorft, miul awalluwcd • Rrfnoiiir, «i 
•lAftnl AgAin, my friciicl waving hi* IuukI to tlir liart, 
Mving^** I'll p«v whrn I mum ** Tliis I tbuufclil 
uncalled for, M I had alrcadj (Mud our bill, in hu 
prrtcocr. 

The vuuth whtpiMMl rt);h( acr«*vi (lie prairir, towaidl 
a beh of woodlands And dcnpi^iii^ ihr ruad« wr gu( 
into a almigb or wet niarvh, thruiigli uhich our bone 
dragged us wiih difficultv, through long gnMt, weecK 
and mire ibr a cooaklerable distaocc, till at lam we 
were obliged to return on our trail, and sierr for a 
boiiie on the right roadiide, having loat two houn in 
our ei peri mental attempt to ennui the prai- 

At lant wr ctr : the timber land, and drrin u; 

fmnt uf *> twiAiif* log-bouie, a very mall, hut 

neat and i huildiiig, with a Kardcn and a 

|i(H>l of utagnant water in frunL . ^ SoMUt bad 

jiuit rvtunit*tl from a hUc*Lbi*rr)'ing e&|Mtlition, hi* 

phaeton or bugg)* McmhI at the dour — a doublc-bam-llcd 

gun and |)ointer, and Iwukvt of berries Uj on the 

** A jrouog lad^ roc kcd a eradle in tlie comer ; 

«ti uid lad)' kneaded bread in a cluaet^aaidr: t%«ii 

.( men, in ihirt il eeve t , read neinpapefi aiul 

(tfLr«l in solemn Tlie ftptirr afiealrd in an 

old r . ( I i the ooloPi 

The m\mrv tot»k thr . -oked at it aeltant, luntcd 

it over, •liook it. fajuied hmurlfMith it, laid it down 

unopened, |Nit hit hand u|ion his heart and looked an 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 241 

if he had received his death-warrant ; at last, opening 
the letter, words relieved his soul. 

" It would appear to me," said the squire, rocking 
himself^ " it would seem, that you are reviewing the 
country, sir." 

I bowed. 

'' The colonel," continued the squire ; " Colonel 

is a gentleman — a perfect gentleman ; yes, his 

farm borders on mine." 

Being already aware of the fact, I assured Mr. S. 
I was anxious to look at it ; and, as my young friend 
did not know the boundaries, wished him to shew me, 
or send some guide along with me to the colonel's 
farm. 

" I'll lead the way in my buggy, myself," said Mr. 
S., with much dignity; and having mounted his 
buggy, he drove along, while we brought up the rear. 

The squire pointed out some stakes and landmarks, 
saying, "This is the boundary between our farms., 
The colonel's timber lot is connected with his prairie 
lots by this belt of timber, through which the Great 
Western Road is surveyed — in flict, that road runs 
close to his house, shaving off the garden in front." 

" Pray where is the house, squire ?" said I, jump- 
ing into his buggy, and leaving the young gentleman 
to follow at leisure. 

" The house," said the squire, " ought to be down 
here. We'll soon find it, I calculate." Then, whip- 
ping his horse, we drove right through some thick 
brush and underwood for some rods, and pulled up at 
a low railing in front of a deserted log hut. The door 
was unlatched, and creaked to and fro as the wind 
sidled throudi the broken windows; wild-Howlers 
and briers grew over the threshold. At the rear of 



M 



f4f um 

tliit little cdiAce a patdi ofpotalor* and tonir Indian 
corn had hrrn Inunplcd down br caltir, drcafed and 
vilhrrrd ; a drrp boir, vlicrr watrr migbt hare brm 
di»i> 1 once, waa called the well, br tlic rolonrri 

MMi, whu va{> -at deal l>rcatife the hali-door 

open : I :iarkad, ** It 

of 1 ■ i tiic cicMjr wmm ofim or 

abut, for, tmxe ami r^ 

hoitar coultl lo<c d „ . (iiirj of tbirrrt, or, 

prradvciilurr, n prairie wolf, ■eekin<7 » "J.^hi'g Ux|./if..,' * 

This lallcr animal, the M{uirr u<«»4ut%i to U: uk* 
aoouf|er of tbe prairie, klV ^ Umlji ami ibaap* 
bin lient and \n\p^ in iq>i' > > .Hdogvand rigilair 
\N ►njjb tin* lin- 

ibe c tann Mt-iiMnl «'r n ji .\ • 

i»ervd in bv M|uan* firKU uikI the monn t< 
Daig h bouia; in (act, ilit% ^anlin of I. 
me tbe leaat pictureM^ue bit nf drrar)' flat 1 b^ ever 
• « Wluii ibe druce vmt\ a nian gainbTeonfinirv- 
i.iuijt<u III a corner of lUinoin, u|M>n a prairie ^ 

'1 %vitb fimora?" tbougbl I. The prairie I 
pi 1 (o mvielf^a ratt and almoal I 

|4ajn, t' l< !' • '! i.\inet and dumpt ol 

treef ; but U •.• • : >i i .il (eiicea» and aquarra, and 
block*, and « ail quarter •^cciionn — Hich 

fnidiron ifnpro\« . ' iniv be found t vrnn-brrr nt 

home; and 1 ba\i .^ .( a^ much in tl.« 

Clialk Farm or llanip»ira<l bealb aa on tbia ptMi^ic. 
in the wilds of lllinoia. 

Mr. H. Nion l tinted into bi» own f.i 
fortli abo«it bia crat»— ilun tiiokc of bi« aii 
Ha had I !y been m> to |> 

haan» < ' he «aid, • 
macb aAtr n.« . . Job h.vl i 



ur - 

f 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 243 

ness than this worthy squire since he came West — he 
was a Vermonter — and I was compelled to bid him 
good evening, as I wished to get back to Chicago 
that night. M}^ desire to accomplish this was opposed 
to the inclinations of my companion ; he declared it 
was impossible — no, he would sleep at Dutchman's 
Point. 

" Dutchman's fiddle-sticks !" said old Mrs. Smaus, 
making her appearance with a goodly can of berries 
in her hands. " Look'ee, general ; I want this here 
pail of blackberries to be left at Ira Isham's store this 
evening. Pshaw ! hear a buster rooster like you, talk 
of impossibilities ! — why, I would walk to the city 
myself, before dark," said the brisk old dame, deposit- 
ing the berries in our buggy. 

Nevertheless, at Dutchman's Point my companion 
demurred he would not like to drive his friend's horse 
any further that evening ; but even the tavern-keeper 
lifted up his voice against halting there — he had only 
one stable, and a sick stud-horse therein ; conse- 
quently, if we stayed, our horse might roam at large 
prairie. 

*' What signifies forty miles to that horse ?" con- 
tinued the host. *^ ril warrant I have driven him 
near to seventy in a day with a bigger load than that 
ere gimcrack buggy." 

It now came out that the horse and buggy belonged 
to a livery- stable keeper, as I found to my cost, paying 
three dollars for the equipage next day. I was not 
sorry to get back to Chicago, where I found my 
chamber occupied by two ladies and three children, 
and my baggage kicking about the house. Next 
morning, I had an early visit from my young friend ; 
he told me his father was anxiousl}^ waiting to see me. 

M 2 



944 i4Ft fW TWF 

Tbr colonrFi oflW«* ^nM niuatr in • t bf gt-<tory bodi^ 
m (lini^ • l^ick bu.i^M4*|C m might lir fuund nrm in 
Anld H ■ Tbr coliJm4 Kwo pTm»pcti my lumd— 

he WM ilnHgtiltii to tot me; lod mr intu bii 6ticil 
1001m cMT priTate oArr. fartti;; (he ttntU 

" I (hoi^t joo would hsTT idepi at the m\\iir 
UmI night," Mill be ; * «Caii) 

eiceedingly , hut milicr |. 

I hope yo(i founil rometlf at bone in hie boi: 
Some light cunvrnatiuii ufthls nattirr barin 
•« IV.'- " ^aid the colourl. »la{i|>ing his lli;^.. - if *^'* 
bad luuixl a mine of goki, '* liavc ve paid fur * 
bone and buggyT 

•* I paid for it, of couite, nr," tani i. 
« Ob, nr! \oirrr loiowi," cnrd ihr 

coloi ti ^c free and ra«y folk Uvc- iiigrthc r 

wc aiT ' lircn — 'thick s* aa tlic 

l^undooen way, ch?— ha, ha I A I^oodon* 

bring me a bottle of iiortrr, Tom." 

Tom, bring the clerk, in tl>e back olBce, baateoed 
to wipe two ditfty tumblers then ran down rtaiiv, 
mm *ren croanng the Mrrt I, and presently rr turning 
with a Ijottle of that il bU- U-vi ragr. I AM»urrtl 

the rtilonel I uvwr dnuik |H»rter in llie u\ 4- 

Not u> the colonel be tlrank the Iiei4 fiart 
bottle, ami rr«imed tl>e ibe; I about I. 

vBte aflairs his proCpanon, his Unds, the guttniBWllt* 
and other matten that did not cooceni me in iIkt lea^t- 
Anon, he iqwike of hi» merino sbee|>, his bucks, hb wool 
- pulled forth a pMrel of fine wool,— begged me to 
lake a bti of it. 

•• I prule 11 u|>on my ibt«p cm ¥0% ri^ 

I ibc ctUitiK ^» fine, full blooil 

( ft mi Um d< 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 245 

" Five dollars !'' said I. 

" Yes, I may say five dollars, though I have paid 
as high as six. The prairie," continued he, " is pecu- 
liarly adapted for sheep. Come, sir, are you inclined 
to make me an offer for that farm ?" 

I begged leave to decline the purchase ; and the 
colonel was evidently displeased. 

" I have another farm, sir,' said he ; " a beautiful 
spot on Fox river ; there is a mill site thereon. Til 
sell half of it ; or you may build a mill there, while I 
hold the lands — or let us build a mill there together, 
it would be as good as coining, at the present prices. 
Only think, wheat, six York shillings a bushel — flour, 
one dollar; why, sir, we could make our fortunes. 
And the farmers round about Fox river want a mill — 
they would assist us to dig a mill-pond and form a 
dam." 

Finding I was rather cool about the speculation, 
the colonel leaned back his head, lighted his pipe, 
elevated his heels upon the top of a high desk, and 
began asking questions about England and the Eastern 
States ; he had never visited New York, Philadelphia, 
or Baltimore. 

" Hello ! what are you doing there ?" exclaimed a 
gentleman, peeping in at the door, 

" Come in — come along in !" cried the colonel, 
turninn: back his head, as he introduced me to an 
Irish doctor with a most abominable gash over his 

eye. 

" I have been dressing up my article in a new 
robe," said the doctor. 

" Send it in to-night, and PU revise it," said the 
colonel ; " but your last critique was too severe." 

" I meant it to be so," said the doctor, freely helping 



t4t UVS Ml TMft WOT. 

hiawrir lo a gla* t "\ .« Jth. Mr. — , 

|«|ok«d to t09 yuu Vrtt, VokHwl, 1 likr lo 

bffii^ iW tltd||r Ml bang u|miu Uirir tK»c» 

— ni powder lin ir nc«r«. aiul «itg» luo.'* 

I our .'• ••»^•lu* .^ i ihe oAcr, «ihI wcrp trte- 

rmllv iuuuuucrti, ajmI tiiakco liy ibc K«mi by mr. 
A' '^t uf ibabbj cxirnuU : he wa» iiiiindurrtl 

mm l^iiHiuti gHUlcnan, L led iu ikam pau. 

lie «! i being a c< r\ai vrl 

««N •; llix wcil^lMi.Aiii 

Mf.^- <•. (•'Tbr. >ou dkL'tbomhi L) 

iU, ynty, ciid vuu luuifi out, ^ir ' 

** IjJiugtoii, Mf » bigb gnHUHJ— ciawir gmund, ncAf 
Uic lull-|pile.'* 

** 'nirii |H-rl»ii|«s »ir, \i*u on; tfa-iiCiMiwi tnan uoc 
of iboic geoexuiM meu wbu — 

* Op«i llMii fUii did Otfow/ 

ior tbe ovUntcd J<»bii (mIiuh." 

** 1 nrvrr Im anl of him,* nail ihr Ixmdoof . (Viff^ 
ItfdU, not rrli»hiiig thr Uii)*htrr ol' hi« tneotVu 

'V ver hcani (if the iuiniurtAl C«il|iin!** mhI the 

Cui iM !. l.iNin^' «!"'Wii bi» I' ■ 

» '; I* :. Ill I • t. '.••fi l- «« Ji. 

■uci ibc cbirtor. drilv. 

TWe l^uralcMier gol ii|s |«ulletl ii|i hu thirt "Jtw. 
aimI lrf\ llir ruuui. 

" You have mmny fiorU aod fioc wnt( r^ lu k^t^- 
IaimI. Mr," MM<I ' • Uil not uoe uf Umbi aII 

can apffftMich the Mibiiinr \N;ttt^* 
vc im- 1^ 
• IllbMrkC. .itb.*Mkl 



1 

/ 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 247 

" Watts, Watts ! — he is truly sublime," said the 
colonel. " In reading and singing his hymns, gentle- 
men, probably you remember that splendid verse, 
wherein he speaks of bathing his weary limbs in seas of 
heavenly rest. Oh, sirs, there was an idea — a sublime 
idea, never yet rivalled," said the colonel, as he re- \ 

peated the verse, and looked as if he really felt the 
want of a bath of heavenly rest ; though, certes, in 
my humble opinion, his long weary legs resting on 
the table, and lank body balanced in the chair, would 
have been just as much delighted as his imagination, 
in the midst of a hot bath of clean water. 

I found it was no easy matter to get away from the 
colonel, but succeeded at last, urging that the dinner 
must be over at the Tremont House, and much as I 
was deliohted with his conversation, I was fain to re- 
sort to that unpoctical practice of chewing food. 

" You are right, sir," said the colonel. " It is a 
great pity we cannot live without eating and drinking. 
I never walk out on the prairie or lake shore, in the 
wind, without thinking of Job's query — ' Can a man 
fill his belly with the east wind ?' The very idea makes 
me cholicky." 

Walking by the lake side this evening, I found a 
regular encampment of Hoosiers. The Hoosiers are 
a genus of the pedler tribe, having a dash of the 
tinker and freebooter in their veins. Having heard 
the word Hoosier pronounced with respect mingled 
with fear, in the eastern states, I was happy to fall in 
with those respectable ogres. Their large covered 
waggons were drawn up in hollow squares on the 
lake shore, and their horses, tethered and harnessed, 
browsed upon the stunted grass. Here and there, fires 
were blazing, pots boiling, pork toasting. The gaunt 



24S ' K IX me vcrr. 

lUieoiaili ri^urmof ihr b<>i>M<ri» M ' ^tfocfo about 
ibrir wi|q(oi)% |*«tfifiK • :' moke irom pip0*» mmI 

emi ri|nir», rm. i mr of the tail ai%Alicr» und 
nitilctrii» luuilgtilft alio4i( a S|MUii»h bivdUAC. TWtJ 
,;;.* b*--''""* ""< c«%*alirf») bad •ul*' tbr %t|ical ibrj 
bad ci '• iii» •' '^ ilie c«'*"»'^*, i-. ....'.. -rv»'»ni 

l>u»iKi, r< "f tlirccfbJlliiK (juihrl 

uiorr tlioti thi-v 1 ' tbeMiDc; aini tin ciiifitjr 

nark 'waptonfttfoitlicd ( ut 

bcdc» loxrii bcMj»irni %icnr 

almdT wrapped in ; t Muq»h«u«. Suuic of 

tbc liorMT* wrrc tall ami %^ .. ii«|M-4l, cuiiiliiuiiig bluud, 
bone, and sinew enough for EnglUh rmrriagr borw^ 
I notioed partirularlv a t»pan, or team, of well-iuatcbcd 
roana, morting about one of tbc s till tlic 

n fjaacr thrust bit head fmni • tiir injvi-r, and rr* 

gai bones with a M>ur < 

mk' . wluU iIm*v V mcaiil bv 

I , ^ap*^suehn < it tbc waggon?" 

1 liv horsr«9 tlius n-hukcd, liackctl, till the lloosicr 
|mllcd in bis bead, and then they advanced, and licgaii 
snorting and {lawing as licfon. T}\\^ roused tbe 
lIcKifficr'ft indignation, and this tunc Um IknkI, shouU 
dcrv, aiul luilf his lank ImhIv, was thnist forth from 
umlrr the waggon cloth: ** ! our oats ?^ 

;Juiig bis fist at : *« a bushel 

1 ! and wluit«lo'«c wont. . 1 .c borars 

hiul rrcoilcd as befim . .( miw ti i-wheelar ad* 
...... «d, stretched otit bis neck and siarrd at bis mas 

Irr, %»hilc hcslMJok bifrnw^**- ^ v ^ -r!'. 'Imt tlie lieavy 
Midtllc (in which the liomKri ruic ui^c tlie Kr ^ 

MMW : ' 1 again. " Mi, i» UtM 
' V 1 i "Mcr, and ►;•« to a 



\ • u 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 249 

boy at one of the fires, he bade him unsaddle the 
horse, and let him roll to h — 1 if he pleased. 

Here, as at Detroit, I am compelled to buy news- 
papers ; though three or four of the eastern papers 
. were in the bar-keeper's possession, he refused to lend 
them. Those bar-keepers are suigular fish, full of airs ; 
without the responsibility of landlord, they affect a 
superiority of tone, and dole out mint juleps and 
brandy-and-water, Sec. as if they were conferring signal 
favours most reluctantly upon their very humble ser- 
vants the boarders. 

Here I record once more the oblls:ation I am under 
to the Young Men's Association, for, saiis ceremonie, I 
[ entered their reading-rooms several times during my 
sejouroi Chicago, and read newspapers and periodicals 
to my heart's content. Chicago also furnishes a cir- 
culating library, where strangers will find the recent 
publications and standard works, novels, &c. of the 
day. Looking over books one day, I was rather 
amused to hear a tall, gaunt farmer from a distant 
prairie, ask for the last part of " Charles O'Malley, 
the Irish Dragoon." The man of books demurred ; 
it was out — he could not find it. " Well, I'll wait, 
and put up my team till you find him," quoth the 

)• farmer. " I'll not face the girls at home without 

■ ' The Irish Dragoon.'" 

The demand for " Ten Thousand a Year" was like- 
wise made in my hearing, if not ten thousand times, 

j often enough to shew how anxiously those works are 

^ looked for in the West. 



m3 



S50 UfB nt tuM warr. 



ciiArrtR xrv. 



-Yuilirr padh^— TW Prairtr ¥*rmt^-Ht^ 
lb»k < -Ji— fiMi Kock ! 

I't bolrl— 1 U Toonlo feui -Riflt 





an 



" This is liic iin»i uhh I I i.r i«ct fixil oo .N 
grouiid >»i(hout tK.in|^ hi • i hy r r\ m ibr hotel 
portcn mre uillt-ti. .uul htiU .!» tu lie a vcrv 

g' U -iiir ilic pilUri'tl 1 «»r vtm court- 

hoife^' , al I to iMNM 1(^115 the Ix A back 

again to tlic strai:. ...^l, Icavin*/ TT.\.<.|f mul UtggVg^ 
€Ni ihc deacrtcd |>Uiik wluirf ol ituiiir. 

Leaving ni)* |MirtiiiAjilcau and caqKi-ixt^ to the 
icncliT in« nil's of tilt witiib iuk! . 1 n1i< ' 

ticntl uiy I nuunhiti up to da* hfW 

c •*-ir-kc(-|M-r, and li»c* Ui*adcra, 

ilic : J » iuid ail iiitiuitct aealod ai a long ubic, cn- 
jojing ft Mual luxviout IM. 

** Walk ill, tir.** Mud Uiv laudlad)^. 

" M^uioin," Mud 1» ^ my baggi^ niii»i walk fir^i.** 
VVIiat U a inaii wiihuut Uaggi^, wttliuul clinr - ,)f 
raimrnl, wiiImnii ^^ miImI Iu niakc ^ 
■grrcalUc In hiniMll. aihI ' Ir to ihr I 

** Jonallian! Ir m! « 

iog from rigbt tu >iu Uli to ; . uo- 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 2a i 

expected vivacity, " fly down, and fetch up this gen- 
tleman's baggage." 

I like Racine ; it is one of the prettiest little spots, 
without pretensions, I have seen for a long, long time. 
Standing on high banks, or bluffs, above the lake 
(Michigan), its little white villas and frame houses, 
backed with the dark green forest trees, the wild ravine, 
and the river, said to be the only inducement held out 
by the landowners to settlers who have got up the 
little town. Land is a drug everywhere ; but water, 
and water power, has a mystic charm that draws men 
together in this country. The river I soon discovered 
to be a stagnant pool, or succession of stagnant pools, 
separated from the lake by a goodly barrier of sand, 
mayhap earth and rock. When this bar is cut away, 
and a convenient harbour established — what then ? 
Then, sirs, Racine will become a place of note — the 
root, as its name betokens, of a flourishing cit}^, rival- 
ling Chicago, and its rival Milwakee. 

Having secured a good bed-room I retired, and was 
roused from my slumbers at cock-crow in the morn- 
ing, by a loud crash. " Pshaw !" said I, " 'tis a 
dream." Anon,T slept, and dreamed of earthquakes. 
Bang — crash ! Holloa ! here is a pretty kettle offish 
— the house is falling. I started from my bed, and 
in truth I had need — for, lo, and behold ! there lay a 
vast piece of the ceiling upon my pillow, another, and 
yet another upon the floor, another wedge of the wall 
leaned upon the table, and, half smothered with dust, 
I pulled on my clothes and rushed to the door. The 
door was fast — that is, the upper and under sill held 
it firmly shut. I had some thoughts of leaping from 
the window. Heaven help your head — all the arms 
of Briareus could not open it one inch. The noise J 



?5t t-trr nt Tit r wnrr 

cfiit.'i -' u brmjj;bi the oiaidf to m? 
Hlrm ibr vocnrti* - '^^^t arr errr mkI «}r ai IuukI to 
exihrmtr inc« 1 knuni liie buiMr tillctl with diift* atiil 
IttDCv ami dirt. The rvmoa was obrioua ; tbc bouat 
had' buih 'irpilr^; i* w 

buidlonlcoii I hi« botci <l all ibr kmrttct 

fur Ik* ill}; built oil nii'k» aii<i ; nc. lie two or 

tlirrc di*»|>crat . .i::ti« tbctii witb lars 

■endi than tmdrr )« .>i. \>a\\ iftftmcticma how to 

fmicccd ; tbcj litgin by knocking awaj the blocks, 
and it is onljr by a niiraclc tluit tbc liouw rrmair- •■* 
an upright imnition. I'bc UndlonI bbunca the li 
nicii, t' • In<»binrii bbuiic tbc wbiakjr; ami in liir 
mkbt ol creaking aounds, mortiir, and brick-dust, wiw- 
duat, &c.. wc itit (!<•%% n to brcakfittii 

Rail : throtigb (be woods, I gat I aome 

flowc*r>« new III iiH*. niid conceived tbe idrn « ig 

a bcrlMil of N\ uictHiJtin flowerk 'Ilic tract tbrxMigb 
which I procccdcil wa* ^'''l- frc«)ucntcd by s|iort»uicn, 
binls r." ! ^c|uirrrU cxiiiuiung a lanicncMi not at all 
*' sliocKat^ to inc.** In fact, if 1 bad carried a gun 
witb 111' . I iiieBiion if I Rbould bnve nbot or hanged 
at the rrd, uiid l))ai*k H)uim*U, racing up and 

down ibc iM-eeii-iniTi, or ■ i»inn < li- 

iiutA and acorns '^ liiit;<ir\ id 

bkc ibe |iiil(eri!i^ . • i . .. . , • " i • '^•* 

nbrill chirp of the gi^* • ' kt, and scream of tlic rrd- 
^ ' uhtl wood|>ccker. <: iw.iicd tlie sokrtnti silei)<>* "^ 
iiii. woods. 

^ !• •■ !>»• I pnuM«l 1 . ' ! »<*, filled with 

I and litii»)i ol tlie talci» I had 

li , or c . or h 

forth ln»iii ibcir dena, aiHl n : tlic unwari. 

from limb. A morv hkciv i>|)ot Ui Muh miiaII dtvr is 



LIfE IN THE WEST. 253 

not to be found in this part of the territory, as a hjilf- 
breed afterwards told me ; but, for my own part, I re- 
turned to the falling house, with nearly an armful of 
flowers and shrubs, and a tremendous appetite, the 
fruits of mv excursion. A smell of rotten leaves and 
manure pervaded the house, and more especially the 
dining-room. This might in some measure be ac- 
counted for, by the presence of the aforesaid Irish 
labourers, in their working costume, at the dinner - 
table. They declared the lower regions, from which 
they had just emerged, was a sink of mire and abomi- 
nation " enough to pison the divil himself." IJow 
they escaped being crushed and poisoned, I did 
not learn; but their persons and contiguity at the 
dinner-table, might have upset a stronger stomach 
than mine, and I have travelled too far to be very 
s([ueamish. Indeed, the house seems in a bad way ; 
and the doors are fortunately open, but no man can shut 
them again — enjo, we must keep open house to-night 
for all the cats, wolves, and badgers in the country. 

I had stipulated that my room was to be kept }>ri- 
vate, for my own use and enjoyment ; judge, there- 
fore, of my wrath and righteous indignation, when the 
bar-keeper, sans cercmonie, marched into my room ^^ith 
candle in hand, introducing an ill-favoured varlet as 
my room-fellow, if not bed-fellow — a stray passenger 
from the far west, going down south, or God knows 
where ! I vapoured a good deal — was not the house 
large enough? Ay, but the rooms were full of mor- 
tar, &c. What then ? — why there was mortar in my 
room. It mattered not; my comrade began by un- 
booting his sore feet. Ye gods, what I must endure ! 
I'll think of fragrance, and forget the hydrogen, if I 
can. I never felt more uncomfortable in my life. 



S54 um m tvr wmt. 



TW home qtuikiu|4, ami ■ itnoft Mn ^ gnnniiiK 
ghaidjr tmukm" from Ki» brd in the comer, his ihoek 
htod iMM iiiiM II w of A nighi-cm{)» htt frnuJt Iw wi, hit 
mletire, hk dbmal hooCiL AimI <lon hr think 1 miaD 
t f^Mh the lamp ihL* hlc«id niglR? Ifhedoot 
he villi have i inwif i1 without hU boiL 111 eiiliftlHiB 
bit dwk oitiMi, mor* it a dtflpUy of mtmi0k 

thai he little colnihuet on. .\j)aii, I drew forth mv 
fniitT donble-borrrUed piitol, adjusted the capa» and 
clicked the laekJ^ then eiamined the point of a daf^ 
1^, M if it vete part of bit creniag senrioe before 
bed. ** Did van ipaajr, «r T soddtnlv itinung aharpl y 
round, towards the stfaiiger*s licd. A deep guttural 
■owkI was the replv . another, and another— a mkw ! 
Sleep in the nioin with a anoter je that can. it is 
beyond TTiv rrarh — ** the foire of natmv can bo for- 
ther g»*. 

liupe thi» iiK'i iiiiig in very bad hu m o ur stgpt badly i 
laaolve to quit this tweet spot imtnetiiaiely. Forto* 
nalelv the mail-wsfq^n Marts 6oBi this to Jaoeiville. 
on liuik IliM r. Nt iirt- a soatv paying four dollars 
for the same: an exortutAiit prii^ for a seal in Mich s 
luii> Hut iwii |i 

and a carpenter. %% i ^ a tcjul-cbcot bift 

for a meal-chest ur barun-bin. 'litis abominable chesi« 
or bui, caused us much «t*^ -Mietudc dnrinfc the naugbest 
|ian of the rtMite, tiinuMin- from side ii* '- *r-. till oi 
laat it WW somewhat staailirtl \>\ two prU, utiu 
tbemielvfs in the rear. 'l*ho whip was all 
and fpdhuiti <^— i* 

bad been im*tl ; ihrir line ot 

tbom» a j^rrtly «i !. wim g <l Jicrt «f 

speech? nhr bandit . with the ca., ft and 

din%rr, ..* .. ~^ fhffM ♦•v hi r viiluliilitv »nd dn'^r the 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 255 

carpenter to commit himself so far as to sing, or make 
some abortive effort to squall and groan forth, " I see 
them on their winding way." 

Mount Pleasant Post-office : here we stop to deliver 
the mail, and the postmaster being out, his wife asks 
us to enter her house, and eat some wild plums while 
the letter-bag is emptied on the floor, and the good 
woman, assisted by the carrier and the carpenter, pro- 
ceeds to select and sort the letters, two children play- 
ing with the same. 

" Clara, miss ! what are you doing ? Take your 
blackberry-stained fingers off" the letters. Do, that's 
a dear ! Give me that letter with the red seal." 

" No, I wont, ma." 

" Give it to me for this plum, dear." 

" No, I wont, miss — Pll keep it." 

" There ! lift up the infant; don't you see the state 
the floor, and the letters, and the newspapers are in ?" 
exclaimed the carrier, as the post-mistress caught up 
her child, and the young ladies eating plums held up 
their hands and exclaimed, '•' My !" 

We have got rid of the carpenter and his box, and 
proceed gaily over the prairie ; but the young ladies 
have grown very reserved, and the driver's jests fliU 
" flat, stale, and unprofitable." The best part of the 
prairie lands in this district are settled on or taken up 
by speculators. 

Halt at the house or cabin of a New Englander : 
he owns about one thousand acres of the prairie, and 
seems well to do. His wife soon spread out her store 
of good things before us— fried pork, savoury stew of 
chicken, prairie-hen, potatoes, &c., tea, coffee, rich 
cream, pickles, cheese, cheesecakes, cherry-pie, and 
excellent bread and butter. Our host regulated our 



1 



. '• urt i!« T«B warr. 



At hi^ laMr Milh pTral rrrrtlHHIV !— •* Mnw» FioU 
^ liniA Hai««a*li- •!, HUMS at mv rt^slit IiaimI; 

N|«%nniiiia Initio— ukr x 1, tiiUM, to niv 

I. iiiw'rr — sit il(mn,.»ir, Uiudc mv %»ift'. \c. ; an«l 

( . ^' '^^^^ ntlirpi Ifciii^ mIJiiMciI at ll»r 

tattle, «ir fell ii|Mici tilt* ^a\ml^^ \i.ui<is like praihe 
mulvci^ lirrr 1 met one* of my Yankee aciiiuunl- 
anccm Aliimrlcch lioeU, wi altrrrtl in hb outwartl 
nan, that I oiilv n-« ! lits gueanng tc I jhI 

titnr 1 IumI »rcn him, li«* wa»i (Irrwrt] up full 1%^ in 
liiifTalo, a rrgnlar nwrll, | : ci^arK, ami talking 

like a magnate of the laml; mm* he %iaj( • <l in 

fuftian, H|M>rtt*<l a vag; ! oM rliip lial, two niihe^ 

of climnal bcanl, anil ilruvc a iiaiu •>< i*liutl horws in a 
erraking waggon, laden with a winnowing marhinr 
for cleaning cttm. 

•* I have made u pri-ii> «i« < « i.; -;k t'uIition,''«id he, 
|M>inting to «* tluit n ^ '^l that conaarn, 

horveii ami voir, for »ix ^ ork fihiiiiogt aK)ay» at Mil- 
% mArliiiica, tet tiirm a-working 

for . tu get their \ into 

the* market, <ie. and told anme. ami now 

Vm goint^ right hack with the waggon. 

'* I thought you were in the fur trade,** mid I. 

*• Well, eap'ain, I'm in the fur trade every winter; 
Uit in tlie upring and fall T f1> round a hit, ami in 
^ \Zo lo.> rth-en5i, like the lie»t of 

Mr. IUh'U ihrii jninrimMJ me he had fi\i<\ hi» eye 
uf^m a good loiMtioii mar a mall *a rolling 

J i ?MHue wimkIIoI-'. lie luul ! •aid, 

aiMl meant to eall in at tlie Ijind Ofllee . e, 

when he luul d^'-^^d of hi« winnowing machine; and 
llic poMman lainiig out that lie watt all right, 1 left 
my quoiMlain coinpMiioii in earoeai diactMaioii with 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 257 

the host, the loeauties and perfections of the winnow- 
ing machine being " the one loved theme" and topic 
of conversation. 

Halt for the night beside the Fox river, at the 
tavern kept by the father of one of our lady passengers. 
This man has not prospered in the West — the cause 
of his misfortunes stands close by his humble log 
house in tlic gigantic skeleton of a frame house, 
through which the wind groans lugubriously. Instead 
of buying stock, farming utensils, &c , tliis unhnjipy 
individual has expended his all upon the carpenters 
and blacksmiths who have erected yon unsightly 
iabric. lie intended to have set up a hotel in the 
midst of this rising city of five houses, called Burling- 
ton ; a dam was built across the river, a mill set up 
by speculators, and anon, half the population swept 
off with congestive fever — the sure and invariable at- 
tendant upon new mill-dams in the West. From this 
death-l)low, the new village has never recovered, 
thoucrh my host believes that *• the l^adness is all (mt 
of the mill-dam now ;"' and that l)eing settled, we sat 
down to tea; Miss Eola declaring that she cannot 
stoop to help with a good grace after her visiting tour, 
same time she assures her fair companion that she may 
have " her tea free" — to sit down and make herself at 
home. Our hostess seems to be an amiable person 
with a sore foot; she rejoices at the safe return of her 
daughter, to whom the letter-carrier pays fierce and 
marked attention, which the young lady rejects quite 
as pointedly. Anon, the host informs me of his 
losses and misfortunes — his sheep have been devoured 
by the wolves, and last night his big dog did battle 
with a vagrant grey wolf, who had smelt out a fatted 
calf in the stable. " If it had been a prairie wolf I 



S5fl 

woold \mxt h an axr wbrn iht dog 

bnirklrti ^im. '* btii ihr girr wolf it dble 

fof IiaJT a * ' ? ■••«K rvltr'*^ Viim nifh Kfnnrs 

till litf »kr€rrtl uii. 

Tern i99rf, our hoiiCM brgsn u> n^ad tbc iic««|>a|>c'r 
alouii. «n«l hrr ton* a fl ' wm all ear. She read 
ahrMii llic htiminf^ of iIm* Vjir McAm-boat — it waa a 
glowing m . a ir«i-hoi iIcm npiion of the horroffm of 
the iccuc ami tlir : r paawngern rrd. 

Everj one liAiciinl wiih lirrathlMB anxicir to tbr ac- 
count — for ievcral ncighbouni had drupprd in — buf 
thr votith crrpt close to hi* mother, and looked up, 
with fcveriah excitement in hU rvet aa she read oo, 
till at laat the U^^n^i to read the name* of tlie Swiai 
and ' Mip(>«»>4Ml to be lo^t, and then the vooth 

bttlM uiio teaiK 

•• Mv r excUinutl ihc : • r, *' wbat*t the matter 

m 

with I lie liov T* 

•• I've a thorn in mv fc^ot,*" «nhlirH hr "and I 

m 

nj» » r! ii iiow. ni go to bed.' 

•• Cio to hetU vou gooi* r Raid the fiii'- " not 
At " :; of W» M»n*ft fteimliihtv, wiiuc the 

|)i \ hiii dearie, wlio had mU aaide in thm 

laug' ^Taa aooo 
i hv X <Hi the car nnd n MTatehol (ace 

ti)i. II th.it ^ .iiiai) nttriii|>i(d to rariih a kiM 
from the c«>v dnniM*! lie waa rrrx wroth, and ahe 
waa ralletl to onler bv her mtMiui. u;.w luld lier 
dmnhtrr ahe »hoiik) ** think »hame of hetvelf to be io 
nidr. hot that waa alwap the %iaj the went on" — ad- 
vturtl hrr not to carrj her head fo high, and not to 
If. 'ully. 

N tmn part. 1 tintil the Mud gUCit, or 

wooer, 1 the : e more iluai the daughlary 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 259 

but I never interfere in a family affair. We were 
soon ushered up to bed in the garret, in which we 
found six beds fastened to the walls, curtained on one 
side, and covered closely in at an angle of forty-five 
degrees by the roof, and, through the ancient shingles, 
the moon afforded the impleasing prospect of sundry 
huge spiders and creeping things hanging over our 
devoted heads. The postman slept and snored like 
a walrus ; the big dog sat down under the window, 
and bayed the moon till I wished him at Jericho — 

" 'Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark," 

saith Byron — any time but at midnight under one*s 
pillow — 

" The watch-dog's voire that bay'd the whispering wind." 

In truth, this dog seems to bark at the echo 
of his own harmonious voice, for, save and ex- 
cept the splash of the Fox river, there is naught else 
worth baviniT at— nathless, till *' chanticleer sung 
cock-a-doodle doo" I could not close an eye. Break- 
last over, we pursue our joiuney ; but, ere we started, 
my host took me aside and offered to sell his farm- 
house, skeleton of a house and all, for , less by one- 
half than the log house he occupied had cost ; in fact, 
he wanted to go further west, he said. But I was not 
enamoured with the location cither. Paid him my 
fifty cents, and went on my way in very dubious 
humour, having lost a bunch of kevs somewhere be- 
tween Racine and Fox river. This dav our route ran 
through splendid prairies; the white and yellow flowers 
of the rosin weed and milk weed spread their bloom 
to the sun, but not a living thing save a stray butterfly 
or, mayhap, a wild bee cheered the eye. I looked in 
vain for deer, prairie hens, or prairie wolves — all was 
silent as the grave. Sometimes we passed clumps of 



MO Lire ix riiK 



tim, and tUrtled a frw «iilil fnicruos; tlir 
or I nf tbr poit, rmlt red to chrrr oo 

hoiirs with mmffB and hjnuw — he had loat two honra, 
he afErnicd, Uwt week. Iit pennt^'i"? tliciii to cml 
prairie fpnm ; but thi* 1 cuuld iioC vi« «iiu One of the 
bur«m be now dnive wan burrowed oo trial, be aaid ; 
and a very h trial be ptit bini tu. At tiii<l-daj, 

we stopftetl at tiie bouae of tbc* iktmjii be U>r I 

tbc . and a lonft ar|: it tiiol ylmrv, tiie 

wbip aiul the oMiicr f' ^ to tbr rear ut tbc ) 

miara for one hour, while* 1 ^ \ about thr ^mve 

aiMi imurie, in quei»t of fluwen«, Ace. Kotuniiiig tu tlie 
prrmiMr*, 1 found aiv wbip and tlie man uf tlie house 
seated ahnoat liack tu back ti|K>n a bench at the stable 
door— each wliittling away fur tbc bare life, and a 
goodlv heap o( Khavings before them. I Inviti;; wntcbed 
tbi« pHM-cM fur some time, I begged to bint to mv 
mail-carrier ttiat *' time and tide wait for no man,** 
atMl at laat siir> . <1 in getting him awav from hi« 
whittling bench, two buurs having been l»t thereon ; 
and even then the bargain for the borw was not 
eomplctc*<l, because, as be said, 1 bad tliKtuHKHl tlieiiu 

** The *tamal old chip,** said he, ** he nticks «miI fur 
ar thiji ))unv. I urten*d fiftv in <" " r, 

or sixtj on time; but it waj no l' Hut I'll be at 
him again when Vm a-guing back — I'll whiiilc 
noonn a r out o: 

Dined at the bouae of a thriving New EnghuKler» 
who, from small beginnings is now tlu* |>ro|>rieior of 
fire thousand acres of prairit* ^ --fl ; be lias encli«rd 
aevetal fieUla of Indian cum vwui ditches iiutead uf 
nula— more ; mcnt work — answi the double 

puqiQse of » ftrairie firr aini > T 

cattle; he lias Mnik a \«rll. niid built stalil* I 

hog-pen, on a large aji«l, like a wIm- nun. In 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 261 

up to this, in a simple log and mud cabin. I am really 
at a loss to know where the good people in this 
country' — this out of the way place — find all the good 
things they set before travellers, especially the New 
Englanders ; they seem to live better here than they 
do at home, and riot in pumpkin pies and all sorts of 
cakes and meats, savoury stews, Sec. ; and, to be sure, 
wine and strong drink is not to be found on the table, 
but rich cream, and excellent tea and coffee, fill up 
the vacuum, and invariably conclude a meal fit for an 
alderman. 

The trifling sum of twenty-five cents, or two York 
shillings a-head, is the moderate demand for all this — 
and more, for some travellers smoke the landlord's 
pipe, and others take gum-ticklers and gin-slings by 
way of a " cJiasse cafe.'^'' 

Near Black Ilawk Grove wc discovered a flight of 
sand-hill cranes; about thirty of them alighted on the 
prairie, and went stalking about like grenadiers — they 
are said to be verv jrood eating. Black Hawk Grove, 
or the oak opening, situate on a little hill, was the 
rendezvous of that celebrated Indian chief, when he 
carried fire and sword through the resrions of his fore- 
fathers. Near this place he was taken prisoner by 
stratagem and the treachery, saith my postman, of the 
Pottawattomers, and sold to General Dodge. Certes, 
Dodge and his men have dodged the poor Indians out 
of the land, and we have passed over land enough this 
day to have maintained all the whites and Indians in 
the whole territorv. 

Janesville : here we an-ived at last, in the midst of 
a storm of wind and rain. The hotel was crowded 
with wayfaring men ; some were very noisy, talking 
politics at the bar ; others, gravely discussing the late 



M9 I,f*^ *^ TTTr 



down the mrr. Twenlv had brrfi LviK-hnl 
nto the flood-HUxl tf twenty more had bcrn tbruwo 
gfter them it would hsrr hcen no grrmt Ioh* mv ihrv, 
fer»i win puf)^ and ^ itiMrlfrren in a iww 

Not a man •jwlc in farmir of the nnitiiiMite nto 
ft!. iil met with mjcH an untimely end; and a 
utraager upoo the banks of Rock Htver bad better 
think twice beftirr he diKrlaima againft Lynch law. 
For my own part, 1 belieTc tome luch law ii a!>-- 

lotelv nminr in a countn* where the exenitiM- 

• • • 

BOTca io alowly that the gtiilty may aMilj evade the 
gTMp uf jitHticf, !ieatrd iifion that cliim^ and com: 
cated vehicle, y^pt the Uw of the land. Here i 
am happy to ^« a lingle bed« in the mtcUt of 

u pw a n b of twenty beda, ranged in tlu* attin> of : 
hotel — bleai the mark !— and slept like a walchiii.in. 
notwithstanding the deep baas, and shrill tn..... 
snoren on everyiidr. 

^'tarted across K*h k Kivrriius iiionuiig» with afrcab 
Irttcr-c. has a one-hone waggon and t 

buflalorobes,aundrv sacksoflcticrs,asr 'reaped 

gentleman and his tnmk. myself, and a youth, boimd 
for Sugar Krrr Disfin*. 'I*he horse. 1 say, ha^ 
enough to do to walk i tbb load at hi« tnil. uvrr 
the prairie^ •"♦I to make llie trip more dci.^.....il, fh«' 
rain began tu l&JI in lurrrnts. Janesville, llMXigh Uiw 
name betokena a town, < ris but three or four 

house ■ in iti tmiliv l lir nite of it is pfft>t(> 

enough, but the grasv gr rnough in ti 

strertji arttl «<itiarrs as vet. I '■ (Uv wr h\ 

not had a »ingl« glram «>r «tm<«hine ; evni tlie prair 
hens, and wr %aw «rYrml |isi ks. did not think it worth 



LIFE IN THE WE3T. 263 

their while to flv more than a rod or two, when we dis- 
turbed them. A walkinsr-stick jrun was fired at them, 
with little effect, and, as I thought, proved a mere 
catchpenny affair, though the owner boasted he had 
shot down deer with it Saw a fine fox leisurelv 
trotting along the side of an oak opening ; he was 
nearly black. Certes, he seemed as vain of his brush, 
as many of our Eastern dandies, or a Broadway 
lounger, of his moustache, or rouch. Met a horse 
trotting merrily along the prairie, with some broken 
harness dangling about him ; he soon joined oiu* 
horse, with a glad neigh. We caught him, and found 
it no easv matter to lead him alonji. Five or six 
miles further we found the trail of a buesv : followed 
it, and soon discovered the buggy, upset between two 
trees, and broken — no owner to be seen. We con- 
tinued our route through fine rolling prairie and oak 
openings, quite parkish. and the oak seems to be the 
only tree that escapes or resists the fires ; however, I 
b^ervei their stunted growth and gnarled appearance 
bespoke the rough raising of prairie trees, exposed to 
winds, fires, frosts, and snows. This dav we passed the 
debris of two houses — one a log, and the other a frame 
house — which had been burned by prairie fires — fate 
of the inmates unknown, though their carelessness 
is manifest to all — a simple trench or ditch round their 
dwellings would have stopped the fire, or turned aside 
the destrovinsT clement. The absence of streams and 
ponds of water is one of the draw-backs to a prairie 
farm : thou2;h water is easilv found, bv dicrsino- wells, 
even on the highest prairie ; still, in my mind, a 
stream of water, though feeble as a silver thread, should 
be a sine qua. non to settlers in the West. Seven miles 
from the broken bugey, we found an old man asleep 



261 urr, ns Tint 

utuitr ft tn^, ami, harin.^ rotiwd him u{s to know 
wliMt br iliti tlicrr, wnv u«<'Urril with iomr vrnr hartl 
luutir*, •ihI a »haq> rtljukr, for hAving ciisfturbcd his 
«lumljrni. Uublnnp bU rve« with hit bofny bio«nt 
luiniU, and rtirtrhinf( htmstclf out longer and taller 
rvcry iniiuiic, be cUttianded — ** \Mh rr the d — 1 we 
raiiic fruni T &c. &c. ; then, loddenlj ttarting larwaid, 
IMMinccd upon tbe led borK, cxcUumtng — ** Aba, ye 
loafing balf-brccdis d*yc mean to steal mj borvr ? 111 
bare ye Lynched all round for tbui *— whrrr'* mv 
bagpv*^ 

*' I iwirT mmhr'* — wlu'il upwanU — »< >- 

wards* seven or eight miles awuy, on tbe pnun4; '. re- 
sponded one of my ivuiy. 

'11114 seemed to recal tlu- wool-gathering hniin!( of 
ihi- UwiMentl man, ei«pecially as wr rrfii«ed to let 
him have the bone until he pive ni it of him- 

iclt ; and, af\er some gnmihlingR, he told us, be was 
** all straighL** " Vou sec I've been to Madison witii 
mv son the priiiu r. m print* the • Ix>co Foeo' news- 
paper ; we took a hum before I left, last night, and 1 
came right away in the bngjry, and turned in hrrr — 
so give me the lionie, and have done with your jabber." 
\Sv |)enni(teil him to lake the liorx, ami nut forget 
his bottle, which had been his consolation under the 
grr<*nwood tree. 

It was night beft»re we wended our way through tlie 
iitiu'Tiin^'^'nt Hln-elfi, M|uarrs, and avenues of the \ oung 
e.\pit.il of \N iMMn<*iii. My eompanitms, fiivourctl by 
ll, ,1. 1 iif the night, nniuMil llirmm-lvm liy tell- 

ing me llie nnnu« of the various hirrrlji ^e paiw e il 
ihriHitrli. «»ii our way to thr h«>lel. while I ulniinrtl m> 
« llir «»nk «> .iiid left, in «picr( of 

bslrontet, !>. . ..ui*ui»% 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 265 

Mr. Momson, the innkeeper, welcomed us to Madi- 
son, led the way into his bar, vohniteered whisky and 
water, or a cobbler, to drive the night dew out of our 
throats. Moreover, the good man accommodated me 
with a single-bedded room, a luxury I had not en- 
joyed for some time. Sunday morning: rose re- 
freshed, and marched out to look at the city, which 
had vanished like a dream, leaving that great unsightly 
fabric, the capital, with its tin dome glittering in the 
sun, and some forty houses, of all sorts, shapes, and 
sizes, rained about here and there sparingl}', at the cor- 
ner of the projected streets and thoroughfares of this 
embryo town. Entered the capital, which I found full 
of chips, shavings, and mortar : from the door and 
raised platform, en revanche, we have a splendid view 
of third and fourth lakes — for, as yet, the lakes have 
been only numbered, it would seem — and there is a 
chain of beautiful little lakes about Madison. There 
is nothing grand about the scenery, but all that quiet 
beauty of wood and water, frequently seen in the old 
settled country at home. Return to the hotel, which 
is the largest house in the place, save the capital, and 
no great shakes after all. In the parlour, I found two 
sprv-looking men seated on a sofa, covered with coon- 
skin. One of them hailed me directly ; he said we 
had met before, down east, in a steam-boat, though, 
for mv part, I never recollected having had that 
honour. He began, by telling all he knew about the 
country ; and his calling or profession being that of 
barrister, or advocate, I did not feel inclined to woo 
his acquaintance ; nevertheless, he resolved to cultivate 
mine, and we soon jogged along, like sworn brothers. 
Breakfist, and indeed all our meals, are taken in the 
cellar, or basement story of the house, Avhere our 

N 



hmtm, who ti «id to be A blur, dei|tiwd to prnkk 
owr the trmpol. <>iir patty wai bmhW op of Uwrvn, 
ihrir wivM, aad ccnain liingMi nw, mpiorrd aod 
riiirrtAntJ at the •»! of Ko««niflMfit« • doctor, mad 
■n riquMiu ftvMB < i«u, in a Tt rrr blur coal 

ami |«ltickY waialooai. \U 1m M hu bead vr 
M bcM becaOM bim, i ^ id oivrr tbr 

dome of the capiul vntb new tin, in bia capadij of 
tinker. LmI, not lea^t, at our table, aat tbr m^. 
The eolonel. raptain, or tquire, at be waa calieU bj 
the ^,mgtt, Bildad Morriaon, uor rrapectcd boH— ao 
oriirnal root from tbe AmOTicMi bottom, aa ba waa 
wont to boaai, wben people apoke of tbetr b om t a 
down eait or aoutb — ** Vm from tbe rirbett aoil ui 
tbe known world— tlie .A -an Bottom, in TIi- 

noia.' rben followed a fnimdiioquent aceouot of 
tbe wondrtHifl reftetation, tbe fmiu, rooca, and aboola 
of tbat botiomlrwi bottom of ricb \egrtabU' matter, 
wbtrr common blackbrmea were aa big at p ia cb w 
pii^bra aa big aa cocoa nuti, and pumfikint fgrrm at 
bift ^vou niav nure ftrntleHMii I) aa tbe intifttiifi- 
cant cl« It callcil liilU in ibi Wiarontin 

it rather tlat« but t)»en her ] i hiiit were more 

tbni I could twallow ; and 1 Icit lite labia, before 
tbe foretC of Indian com-atalk and tlie rrti of tbr 
moQttroaitiet of tbe Atorrican Bottom W9n pwaded. 
By way of doamrt, it wat a fortunate circunHUuv . 
ikial our boat poaaeaaed tucb a ftardrn in hit luxu- 
riant brain aa anabfod bim to ditpent* rh tbr 
ricb prodiictiooa of lllitiott ai h ^jui « 

■Mirmur ; but bow ba IumI l ed u ct d h. ^1 Until \ 

to enjoY a tomaia wat barond my o 
Tomato wa» il. ibamt-— tba ao 

momimr till ni«bt — Afom niftht nil monuoff. Tli> 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 267 

morning I descended to the bar, there sat the colonel 
in his white and black chip hat, set jauntily over his 
round, heavy, swelled face, his crooked foot resting on 
one knee, his twisted hand resting upon that, (he had 
been blowui up at the Diggins, near Mineral Point,) 
and his expressive mouth full of a red tomato. That 
swallowed, he held up another love-apple tantalizingly, 
to a feeble little child, and, mincing his voice, he would 
exclaim, " Who'll have a tomato ? Who'll kiss me for a 
tomato?" In truth, not I ; having in the early part of 
my days looked upon that grovelling fruit as poison, 
and never having tasted it even as a pickle with much 
gusto, I was not prepared to enjoy the tomato feast, 
at the capital of Wisconsin. 

The garden at the rear of the house seemed to 
produce no other fruit or vegetable. At breakfast we 
had five or six plates of the scarlet fruit ])ompously 
paraded and eagerly devoured, with hearty commen- 
dations, by the guests. Some eat them with milk, 
others with vinegar and mustard, some with sugar 
and molasses. I essayed to follow suit, and was very 
near refunding the rest of my breakfast upon the 
table, the sickly flavour of flat-tongue grass, sour 
milk, and raw cabbage, being concealed under the 
beautiful skin of the love-apple I had the temerity to 
swallow. 

At dinner, tomatoes encore, in pies and patties, 
mashed in side dishes, then dried in the sun like figs ; 
at tea, tomato conserves, and preserved in maple sugar ; 
and to crown the whole, the good lady of the hostel 
launched forth at night into the praise of tomato pills. 

Having mustered a party of three idlers — the law- 
yer, the doctor, and myself, to wit — we go a shooting, 
beng resolved to kill time, if we can slay naught else, 

n2 



169 um nc tiir wimt. 



whli uur liBn. Here the grnctwiT of our bott 
tailed; he had two riflrs, which he nrrrr tiicd, 1 
wmntrtl to borrow one of ihcm« end leave e finrlin^ 

IX aimI the reet of inv htt^ffof^ for its uSt n 
Nii; be hml dumIc up hin n«»( to laoa hii riflr* ; 

• hr «: to the haam of a miin y^Uo inig)*i 

. .t . .>A he WW a 1 iier also. Aw«v I 

I. ,1 to the h<Mi«- i.f fny coenpetricjt, wbo kept a liar 

I hillixml-iahu . Ilirrc rough-hewn Uimpktii* 
.Mn> actualljr leaminft to pUy billiards under the evr 
o! ihe marker, a ioft-fiKred, grwuy-looking youth ; ami 
lie reefr in the clolb bespoke the levere pUy of ibe 
h.u I woodmen. 

IiHpiiring for llie hoia, I wti dinrti-<l to a iai, 
liloaictl mioeer, upon two Moola, within the l>ar ; liavinp 
with difficulty mmle him undcrvtmnd my poution an a 
•tnuiger and Hriti»l»cr wanting to Ixirrow hi» rirte. he 
rxtende<l hi* fat pow, and we »hook luiniU with great 
conlialilv. Hi'* rifle wa» like hinwclf. rather the worw 
of the wear, the lock unrtrtiiin. and the Itarrrl dirty. 

•* Hut vou are welctuiie to it," said be, •• lucb ae 



It lA. 

lie then invitiM me to drink a a/imff with him. tt4d 
me a little of hi« dtMetfom 1' . I be had 

lu'vcr left old Knglan«l, in»tead of buying fanm on 
the limine, lie had been |»rrvailetl on t«» {mirluttr 
town lot*, niinetl. U^ggarrtl, " ami this i» all tluU re- 
mniii* of all I bfougbt berr^ Mid he, looking roumi 
in nuiudlin mntow at the lN>tt!nt within the bar, and 
the tabic withouL 

\\. uur I and 

vain not a ibot did we get al bird or l>eR«t : tl>e wild 

ducki fluttered r»*«^'^v into the reccla, ll M eagles 
and ben hawks «< iiiched our mocionBi and nt li««t wr 



LtFE IN THE WEST* 269 

sat down, covered with perspiration, in the vain hope 
of seeing deer, this being a famous " deer run,' ac- 
cordino; to the doctor. " Twihcrht grav had, in her 
sober livery, all things clad ;" and if the deer did not 
come forth, the musquitoes did. I quietly endured 
their assaults for some time, till one of them marched 
down my back and another went to meet him, up my 
inexpressibles. 

" A pis aller !" I exclaimed ; " there is no deer to 
be met with, so let us turn our arms upon the mus- 
quitoes and on small deer." 

My companions agreed it was useless to remain on 
our knees and elbows any longer, and as we returned 
we fired random shots right and left. I bagnred two 
woodpeckers, the others robins a-piecc, ditto one pi- 
geon claimed by all, having sustained the fire of three 
rifles before he fell from the branches of the hemlock 
tree. We endured a good deal of raillery from our 
host and the ladies, upon our noble exploits, especially 
as the woodpeckers, robins, &c., were served up in a 
stew next morning at breakfast. 

Wishing to visit Sauk prairie, where a certain IIiui- 
garian Count was located, I asked my host to furnish 
me with a horse. 

" Perhaps you want a horse and buggy ?" said he. 

I told him a saddle horse would answer my purpose 
much better. 

" Well, there is not a saddle horse to be hired in 
the place," said he. 

" Well, then, the horse and buggy will answer," 
said I. 

" But there is not a horse and buggy you cnn loan, 
in Madison ; nor yet a waggon, nor cart, nor nuilc, 
nor jackass." 



In inith, tK ^ «i«i-^ *«il»ol 

111 be irrii in ibr ttrrr •» wid oirn. The 

»— of llir tnir Miakr-rahiip.. it, hAlf-«lli|{Mor 

. infr»t ibc iU»on» ; ibr ox».., --ni liowii wilb 

I .1, jiitglr ibcir bcIU m ibry browic •bout ibc bigb- 

fi«T« •nci bjc-w«T». 

fig, ng all t 1 wm (tiieoverrci our 

obliginff TM III hif own lUblc, 

»(.| 1^ • tmiiipliiig thrrHigb ibc 

woocU and ffwaropa, al the rii»k of thnr liriiig lort •• lo 
bim ami bis bcir* for rvrr,* aooorT iban win soklra 
opinionn bt accommcxUliiig tbcm. 

KiTc dart liavc bern cooaumcd in MadiMMi, aiui 1 irr 

DO prtwpcct of jr-ltinp ""^ "f t**** P**«* • '**• ""^^ "^ 
rairirtl lo Fori Winn* l»ii^«». nnd rlM*wbcrr,upon lodim 
pp ini ln<lian pmica don'l carry double. I bi§Ml 

lo pn|virr a knajt^atk, liN»k lo mr UkjI*, and IWulffd 
lo niairli cwit of ihr capilal at pcrp o' dav ncil mi 
ing, liul piv rrnod intrniionf wrrt firttftimtcd bv an 

awful ibu lorin. followed by bail and rain; and 

imiordialrly after, a waggon, and a pair of rrrain-<x>- 
lourrtl bofica, driven by a Urge. gu^Kl-naiurrtl-lookni^ 
M itb a smartly -drr«MHl duuB at bis side, pulled 
up at our door ; aiwl the recking buflalo robe being 
lui mil, ami a ^ fUHhed onder i^ 

Ui by the bml. (• 

were <Jined m M io ibe 

bouse. 

The news of ibe new gove^lor^l arriral soon snrpad 

•bfoeil, and l»efofr nigbl bis Kiee?*^- * *-mI a r. 

levee, tlie ber>ruoai iumI |»arlour U m^ niunl wim i<ui- 

<<MMMrm aiMl vt»iior» conie t (beirre^wct*. 

I' :u»rUm\j\t»lr^ d frtmi %*M. Tefer f* 

be bad tuncluded a liraly wiib a i tnbe of the 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 271 

Dacota Indians. The Indians had ceded to the 
United States a considerable tract of land ; on which 
the governor intended to carry out his benevolent 
plan of an Indian farm ; in short, a reserve for the 
Indians, upon which the whites could not encroach at 
a future day. School houses were to be established, 
and farnjing implements furnished. 

I was glad to find, even at the eleventh hour, justice 
was to l)e done to the red men of the wilderness; 
and the governor rose hourly in my estimation. The 
weather having cleared up a little, the three chasseurs 
made a tour to the prairie in the governor's waggon, 
which he immediately loaned us, wishing us success. 

Away we went, over roads, ruts, and logs, with the 
spanking cream colours, but the rain came down in 
torrents, and we were glad to halt at a settler's foun- 
dation, near the prairie. The old man was not at 
home, and my companions tied up the horses, and 
then entered the barn, while I made my way into the 
house, maigre a boisterous cur dog. I found the dame 
du logis, a fair-haired little woman, seated in the midst 
of the kitchen, parlour, and hall, reading a newspaper 
(not the cleanest), while her \iQ\])flew round and ar- 
ranged knives, forks, and plates, upon the table. I 
hailed the omen, and, as we had not dined, beckoned 
to my companions to come into the house, which they 
did very reluctantly, as they had not been invited to 
shelter their heads by the mistress of the loggery, 
who, being in that way all " ladies like to be who love 
their lords," maintained her seat, her gravity, and si- 
lence, till the old man came in, dripping like a wet 
sack, and quite as forbidding in his appearance. He 
was old enough to be his wife's father, and on his rough 



Ufe i!K Tiie «ifj^r. 



*-, bcgnmrcl with .uiii |>« r|Mij(iun, 

uul ill |iatrlirs — 



I Ir IumI lircn UudAl^lv i ' ri'jhlctiinir t\tr blsrk* 

liln?^ friitn Hh mm- t •►lii'^ 

•• TWy |Mt o 

Aod lU oil I mmI in oil I MKh » «." 

1 twu mm niitl n Uiv, carrying I imAcK 
tiili ot niUl hoiiM* ; th«*\ vim* tlic 

r> -A .L> littir Im^kets of uiltl pltim.t. Tlu* rain f»(ill 
raine down in turrcntis nml iliniicr did not niakc iu 
a{){)ciinuicT ; ihcbUck put wan full of smoking fioUloca, 
and tlic MoYC liad ccaacd to wami the wtelamr^ heap* of 
platca* pftDft. and di^bct banging about it. I1ic lucni- 
ben of the bomrbokl giancctl im|mt ' at thr dour» 
— we tiMik (he bint — dinner wan ^ ^ cold — and fcir 

the fimt tiiuc I left an AtiK-nrun hoiMC, in the v 
with an tiiipty itomacli. 

** 'FbeY might liave olleitd Of ft frw plums,* «ud 
one of n\y companions. 

** iiogi will tbcw their bnntles** y^as the a^ik)Miui>€ 
of the other, as wc retunietl towards our inn— wet, 
bimgryi And disappouite«l 

One of our party de* ' \ iluu ni all hm (r.i\< Is be 
bad nc\rr met with a niorr inhtjs|>i table set than the 
f ^ wc bad just ie another rtrhilctl an 

n 

1 Ic ImmI lieen trav* ^ in ( )hio on a dav like this ^ 

\\\c rntii rnfnr ffiiitn nirfti! runf !><» |m| up ||ig WaiTBOn 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 273 

and team at a large farni-liouse ; the folks, lie said, 
were like the folks we had just seen, only perhaps 
they shewed more bristles all at once, for they never 
asked him to sit down ; nevertheless he did sit down, 
and watch them eating their breakfast ; then saw the 
dinner prepared and eaten. Evening came on, and 
with it supper for a dozen ; they spread out pans of 
rich milk and cream upon the tabic, that tempted him 
sorely to ask for a drop of something to drink, but he 
refrained ; and the boors and their dames began sup- 
ping up the milk before him. They talked of cows 
and calves ; one said ' he had seen three calves that 
were reared by one cow.' Another said ' he had seen 
four that were all suckled by one cow, and became 
fine beasts.' 

" I have seen five," chimed in the hungry chasseur. 

" Well, now — that beats all," exclaimed the boor. 
" Wc know very well that four calves might suck a 
cow at the same time ; one might suck at one side, 
one at the other, one before, and one behind; but 
what did the fifth do ?" 

" The fifth," said the chasseur — " the fifth — why, 
he, great calf as he was, looked on like myself, while 
the others sucked up the milk." " And having said 
thus, I bowed to the calves and hogs, and drove away 
in my waggon, at ten at night, not having eaten a 
morsel the whole day, and my horses having fared 
likewise in the empty barn." 

Once more we endured the raillery of the ladies and 
o-cntlemen at home. Forsooth, they had expected to 
have seen us return with a waggon-load of bar, of 
buffalo, or deer. " Mighty hunters we were," &c. As 
it was, we had brought home most voracious appetites 
in our wet jackets, and the dinner was over. Our 

n3 



174 urt in TUB 



•cring we li . m|H \ -iMHidtdb I 

potP rofftdiidcd we were not worth our mUi, «»bicli, 
oocu...«..ag wc paid c«o liulUr^ ahUj, wat rmlber 
hard ; ao 1 ilc»rrtMlcd %u ilir lower legiotM, aixl db- 
covervd, or MirprMd, our boilcM wMhing lirr cmpft. 
She WM vcnr wrucli, and din-cted nie to ibr ' • 

m 

brawling lrt»bwooiaii« «iho presided over tbc culinary 
depftmem^— that iiMigniftrMil cooccra bdog b a iwih 
tbe noiioc of our literary ladjr of blue iloriring and 
ci|>-wMhtiig ooloriei^. 1 lie tarry roaflina of a cokl 
lUiuuUlcr of mutton, culd poUUuc*, aud nf rtniTv raw 
tomiuea, rrwanicd my peneterancc. 

This HMiniiog a tcainiCrr from Mineral Point baited 
to iMut bit weary j^paii. 8iicb a finrounble opportunity 
« ^ awav fniin t' .i\in nut to be nrgkded* 

and three of our |Murty k> ! tu lie carric-d away, 

b^ and btWRBt, wluriMr the »aid teanwifr was 
bound for. Madinun is only three yean old, cootains 
alj(Nii three hundred iidiabitanta. The ailuation, ■• I 
h^d Uluir, is |>icturr«(]ue and agreeable, built upon 
u |M*fiin»ula lietweeii two lakes of pure water, having 
a limartoDc boltooi. As to trade, it baa none, nor is 
it likely to beoome a place ofbimncai; tbare&irr little 
«'aietit can be offered to capitaiistaoripectiUtiin 
to ' ficAce of the community with thoir 

varied c upeak of mg a r) 

and cliapri, but af tweaent the |^ . |Hit up ; 
|irtitt<inii in a la|; ^ ii. which, though not «|uile m> 
• viim-nt as a catlirtlral. answers tlic muuc end. 
ihiT tcamater has pickcvl up a goodly load, two Eng- 
lish woneiit <MW of than with an infant, only ten days 
ohl. Ill h' i»_|ier huj»l»aml a dinppoinled fla%puii 
frtini I %teapelai \ . ^fr. — , 

an ^ ( I canool say pcMl* 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 275 

haste) with dispatches to Washington ; the two hunters, 
one of whom has been staying at Madison for three 
weeks, in the vain expectation of finding his horse, 
which he lost en route to Fort Winnebago, but now 
despairs of ever seeing again; myself, the teamster, 
and his friend. A goodly load to be dragged along 
the roads by two very so-so horses ; and though, for 
the honour of the thing, we drove out of town in a 
canter, jostling and rolling about like so many empty 
baskets, the moment we got into the sequestered road, 
we alighted, and shouldering our rifles and umbrellas, 
marched en avant, leaving the women and invahds 
with the heavy baggage. The first day's march, en 
route, we bagged eight prairie hens, some pigeons, 
robins, quail, and a species of snipe ; winged some 
ducks, which we could not recover from the lakes, 
and nearly slew a dog in lieu of a prairie wolf. We 
had waded up a swamp at twilight in quest of snipe, 
when the heavy splashing of some long-bodied beast 
behind us attracted our attention. My companion had 
just fired at a duck, when a low growl and considerable 
splashing was heard : "It's a wolf — a wolf!" he shouted, 
" fire upon him ;" and I ran through the marsh in 
full pursuit of the retreating wolf, gun cocked, ready 
to slap-bang at him the first view I got of his pate. 
" Dinna shoot, mon — dinna shoot my doggin," hal- 
looed a brawny Scot, who had watched our motions, 
and thus saved his cur from being peppered. He in- 
vited us to enter his dwelling, hard by, and a more mise- 
rable human abode I had never seen ; it was little better 
than a hole scooped in a bank under the root of an oak 
tree ; here the squatter's wife offered us milk. I did not 
admire the appearance of the man, though he talked 
very big about his farm, and said he came from the 



at THC 



, at hMBT, DOC 

biftl>phrr. or h 



. f 



oi Wi 
lotdl in 

to be 

■nr Rock nw« Toe 
likeii^gm; 1W7 kvl itkb 
of ladiaB com and wheat, and 
and potatoes and vegetables; i 

heie: tber have do rooCi and iCna^ift 
wkk, and tiK toil iccmi to be 
\^ c *lerp op tcain— oalj •cTeo teen in 

the ioor; ptOofva, at lemt anne, wa» a foaSj 
rapct of oiiHMH» in frffff****! bit ciutainib. 

tov of the game ve ahoc 

^i^^m^^v — anipea* pcaine hent» qoaiK p i g* * — »m1 

r» mu itrvcd up together, to that the particular 

' '^nch bird w« Voit in this fplendid mmp 

Icmlti^ Cram the Rock Rirer in a fcfry- 

« the aodent citj of Altaian, m the Tillagr, 

bntiaod toae grrcn Indian aooBdi, are 

cr ihrwed m€ wmodry biu of potterj 

. jckk which he taad, with great retcience, h«l 

been latelj dog op frooi the mina of Altaian citv, but 

1 aawwd him hit antiqoitiea were the remnants of 

some Indimicamp^the debris of a mvage,inatead of a 

ciTifiKd race, which he cootcodad had cflmbUMd the 

This pride. 

^ litrwater m decidcdHr the prettiMt little ni^gr I 

\^ . tu this ^mmntry ; the Tillas arc bnilt 

apart, m thrr ooght 10 be, .^rrat regnlaritj, each 

harif^ a gi ^. fcvdi^ of nch soil; so that, in the 

» fGohkmith,*£TeryrDcdofgiwin<i 

BMuauwcd itt nma,* t%f" '"■ a town, wr * Um: duU 
of the Bohfe anPT of capiausta and spcciuatoca and 

Theft are errefal 



LIFE Dl THS WE3T. 9T7 



Terr mtrlligept Nev- 
TbeT hare a mill wfakk does 
pover; and if the greal 
bar, ther will giov up a happj 
of a fine 



k tfamlj seeded, most of the 
ipecidaior^ This k the 
to be hoped the tax on wfld 





The 

which he tenKd Bachdor's Eoins; thcm^ fcr ■▼ 

port, I saw DoChing nzinoiB aboot Ae fims ao caBed, 

bat quale the lerene. One of the 

and mvself refose to Ane at the hoase of 

paitj tocac and dank bcade the bed of a bib kid 
up with ferer; hot whe^cr \\iSn tint or nol, Aej 
neither know nor care. We had 
he&jR. wv JiiiPtd at aBoncr aettier a 



eyed hb ndoo patch. The boor ^nke 
goodness of his meloas; I walked on, bnt bj 
panion told htm I was a aHanger, taA got a 
of water neloni fioM hna, at he and, on ■ _ 
IdidnoCreSAthejest atan, mnjthtlm Ae 




I voted we abonld go in and 
cumpam on said it was bt taam to go bc^ I 
into the hoose, and iiiMling it a <fiitj horel, 
asked a dowdy Inshwoasan to cot me a shoe 
looking bread, far that poor tiardkr, weak with the 
honker, under the tree yonder. She £d so; aid 
ooL sMd aoHKl^bc dboat *■ a kad eve.' I 



278 U»ft IN TUB WK.^ 



bcr free with a «hiiirr, ai»d n^ to my 

iiiBHtMl«g>ve hni • buiipIi oibcvad* ^ (m^ 

Mjtng it wM very Mickv ; ami wbrn he lift' hed 

it, loltl him 1 hail be||ged il <io hit acroitot Uv was 
Trnr wroch, but I told him we were quiu now ; for if 
he had haQMi ONioai lor ne, 1 hwi bcQKl famd far 
h 



I 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 279 



CHAPTER XV. 



Prairieville — Forest road — Norwegians — Milwaukee — The rival 
editors — German settlers — The gunsmith — Norwegian songs — 
My keys — Lebanon slope— Pigeon shooting — Captain of the 
Yankee — Bravoes — Storm — Doctor and his lady — Voyage to 
Makinaw — Man drowned — Apathy of the men of Makinaw — 
Indian missionary — Voyage to Green Bay. 

Prairieville : here we halt for the night, and find 
the public-house crammed full of emigrants and re- 
sidents — great politicians, great wranglers. Leaving 
those disputants in the bar-room, I was fortunate 
enough to get into a single bed in a long bed-room, 
in which beds for seventeen were laid down. Woke 
up from my slumbers at a very early hour by the deep 
concert of the snorers in every direction, and found 
the fog boiling into the room through the open win- 
dows. In this place, and, indeed, all along the little 
Fox river, the fever and ague may be traced. Break- 
fast upon the game we brought in ourselves, and 
pursue our journey through a densely-wooded coimtry. 
We have left the pure air of the prairie behind us, and 
now we progress very slowly over the worst road I 
have ever travelled — in fact, the trees have been just 
cut down and pulled aside, and the stumps, rocks, and 
ruts, render it almost impossible for the horses to tug 
the waggon along. This being Sunday, we have put 
up our guns and rifles, and walk before the waggon. 



M> um IX Tim WB0T. 

pMipirinK at cttry porr ■nd |ii« for IjctaiIl 

1 r«»iii tniir lo lime wr pwi groopi of N ni^Ulft, who 

^«avc rmigiiitrtl from thrir uwn fuiviU to localrihem- 
i«Li%r» in lit*- '-'y «;.;;.. *ili mihI itn|»r»rtic«i>lr bell of 
wnodii in \\i.H.i.u«in; llirv Iwtc alrraclv niailr pomr 
lifilr dcariii^. Init I tliifik thrir Ubour ami linir r|iiiir 
tliniirn hwy. At laiH. Ihrn mrrri, wr calch a glim|«e 
nflhr Miic walcnt uf I-akc M\ I .: n, at ihc end of 
( ug Avciuir of dUmal wimhIii niitl tnfamom roacb 
il.r.High t^hirli wr h«\c l>cTn v ig «Hir %«iiv for 

^. Tim from l*rairicrillc lo Milwmikcr. I.wn in tlial 
-ujtX roiiic of fiftcrn miles 1 wifTcrrd motr from liral 
ami (ktigiir ihnn I hare vcl cx|Mrricnc«i in America ; 
fur wlml with the cloiciicai of the air, ahpcmr of water, 
mmI — hill hrrr wr arc at lafft, rraMng a gvMKl woodeo 
hridge into «|uilr n jrav loiiking lowti -;- white ftoopa» 
tifpi \nmnU ovrr Ktf>n*!s h<niM*ii nnd \ilbw |ten*hetl on 
hiirh iMit^ il a!»|>ert»- our waggon prtMidljr 

lirawn up at thcdo«»ruf tlu- MiUniilf-c lliime. Wc arr 
in%'itrtl lo enlcr and pn-jHirr for dinner hy one bort, 
while the other (for there are a |iair of ihem) rrcogniiet 
one of mir party at an okl friend, and invite* him 
into the bar. 

If.-M il.i M.^ .ji ill frmit of our hi»lrl, we l«»<'k «lni«n 
iijion the river — the lake a la tiiMtamrt — the woiwhtl 
in lint, on which while villan alreativ l>egiii to rim 
the nmn»h, through which a road haf l»eeii mode and 
l«»t«i cfHiveved — and the main i»iml. In aoother di- 
rrriion we wet the light-hmi»c, the epi»rt>pal diurrh. 
thr |irr*hvtrrian and metht>ilii»t eha|iela, ami »uiKir} 
gijr while colti^cet riaing out of a •cniljbr ioft of 
jungle which «*n tlu hi^ti tihiff above ibe lake. 

\' . it lamMainunpIru iirr'.aml^hen 

wc r. :'. I iLii •H;\cn yxukn ago ihtrc v i a aiogle 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 281 

farm-house in the place and a few Potto wattoniie 
wio-wams, we must acknowledge that the Yankees 
possess the locomotive power of gettmg towns along 
faster than the Canadians, and to better purpose. 

Many of the store-keepers, clerks, and single-men 
lodgers, editors of newspapers, and clericos, board at 
our house : certcs, the charge for bed-room, board, 
breakfast, dinner, tea, and supper is not very exor- 
bitant—only six York shillings a-day, and everything 
in very good style. Finding my host civil, though 
not at all comnumicative, I resolved to stay a few days 
at Milwaukee, to watch the progress of men and things 
in this singular place. It is no easy matter to pick 
information out of the denizens here; in other 
countries, a man may pick up some knowledge, even 
at a table d'hote; but here every man seems wide 
awake — all eyes, no ears, hands and mouth generally 
full of his own affiiirs — his meals are dispatched with 
impatient haste, bordering on voracity — after meals, 
he swingeth upon his chair, scpiirtiug tol^acco juice, 
hands thrust deeply in pockets, or whittling tooth- 
picks — he swallows a gin-sling, and flings out of the 
Joor — he's gone, like a streak of oiled lightning. 
Whosoever thinks he receives information from one of 
these slick gentlemen, I say, has been, to use their 
own singular expression, *' suckecV^ — left clean as an 
empty egg-shell, for the rule is to " gammon a 
stranger" who persists in asking cpiestions, telling him 
something " awfully musical," and receiving as much 
of his plain history and adventures as he is ass enough 
to communicate. 

The rival editors of the Whig and Loco-foco papers 
board in the house, and lash one another daily in the 
columns of their papers. One has inserted a para- 



'."'.' uvs in rtiB wnr. 

p ' . ** liuu III* n%ai Um not pftid hi» ImahI 
biibr ihr ofber cWmMiik Um author of ih«t batt 
aJumnv* aixi openly dedarat hit initotioo to •bod 
(he aiithur of ii on lb« fpoc* wbeocvrr ht finds hiA. 
and gon about armed fur tbk puipoaa. Matlen in 
ihiA )io#itJim. it i» MNDewbmt amuMng to tee tbe editor* 
f>'"-' .r balanced on their chain in tbe bar, grinning 
uiiuujcr at each ocher; one picking bit tccih and 
•quirting tobaoco>juice and blood on tba floor; tbe 
ocbrr, ft' ' 'Bng a cigar with bia beeU in tbe 
air; v^iw* ounge round* 

reading tbrir liu is atui mi-hot a i aloud, 
frr>! coliitnnA of their t paperm. 

.^. i cral Gcmiaiuk luivc built bouaea and settled down 
here. One of them, a very int«*n;.7. i)i, banl-working 
fellow, waa a c"* nith ; he had pn lUji to do, repairing 
old nilea and tuwung-^Neoea. A* he did a small job 
for me, I generallj spent half-an-bour in hb sbop 
cverv da V, inspecting t kgulararm* 1<1 Frencb, 

Dutcii. (iiniiiiii, and 1 J pistols, for 

fxcnr man westward-bound t he muat bring a 

rifle or fuwhng-pieoe with liim, which pn'^Mrntlv gets 
out of re(wur, and is sent unto my friend, the gun- 
umith, and cither forgotten, or ** left till called lor** in 
bis custody. 

I found the In ntraUr loa6ng about bis 

houM • f seemed to take particular dalight in 
looking at the giii»» and wat : tbe gunamuh a» 
be laboorsd at the heuch. Same time, he asMirrd nu* 
tboaa Indiana, ( Pottawattoaiiaa» fimn whom i. 
UimU were bought.) were iicTcr truubleaume ; ihe\ 
prefrrrrtl l^^• 'jTrmnd in fnmt of his house beoauK* it 
was tbe l> .; • ^( s|iot abrHii the town, (exr^-' mtr 
bolil,) ftocit \shu\i tbej cuuld look down upuu the 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 283 

Stirring scenes going on below. But whenever a gun 
was to be tried, their joy was great — they fixed up a 
board for a target, and even the old men and boys 
tumbled head over heels, in their speed to examine 
the mark when the shot was fired. 

This gunsmith was a native of Nassau, he had re- 
cently read Stephens's new work, and was anxious to 
converse about Indian antiquities, Jews, and Egyp- 
tians ; but our conversations were frequently disturbed 
by his good frow, a tall, severe-looking woman, older 
than himself. The moment his file and hammer 
ceased to grate on the ear, a door opened, and that 
good dame pronounced a few mystic words, and he 
scrambled up his file, and worked away. Indeed, it is 
not clear to me but the good woman directed part of 
her rebuke to myself for idling her man, and loafing 
about the store, like an Indian. 

Here I became acquainted with several Germans, 
and, amongst the rest, a very worthy man, a chandler, 
from Wirtemburg. The Germans were dissatisfied — 
they said they had expended their money building 
houses in this town ; that they had originally intended 
to have settled on prairie lands, and farmed ; many of 
them had been educated for that purpose at home, in 
the agricultural schools or colleges, but when they 
landed here, they could find no prairie lands — all seemed 
wood, and therefore they did as the Yankees did. 

Now, they discovered that there were plenty of 
prairie only fifteen miles from them, but they could 
not buy a single acre of it, and were hard set to make 
both ends meet. They wished to know if I had pur- 
chased prairie lands, and would lease them, or farm a 
rural establishment of some sort on the prairie. I 
was grieved to see the poor fellows so much cast down, 



tS4 UfU m TKB WMt. 

and MMirnl ihriti thai if I cliil purdiMe land* in ilic 
pnurir, 1 %«i»iiM not for|^i ihrm. 

Ml the clnidgrr}' ami ) , al our hotel if 

prH' rmctl by the poor (srraiaii fprU* who arr artuaJIv 
(1 to •-•'•^v hravy logv of firr*«roocl, wa»h llic 
). lUM.- lincii» oiiii ncnib awav fnmi morning till nighL 
Aij righlcooa indignatuiii was rouar«l oiic nioniing 
when I MW a fiiir, ih" * ' ■ rl, 

aui' 'j^ n 1<umI of vKvtf • ; in her ' 

bare amis while a dumay, \ r, inaufent fellow, 

lit tl: :«l, waa I : ^ 

\%i(li niorr than she c*oiiUI \%cll camr. 

** (*onio, 111 |Hit thin here cruoketi one on lo|} of 
all,** sail! he, thninting a coanc wet bnuieh into tlic 
poor fprPn fair boaoni. 

•* (i-u-u-t/* nuinnun<l ihr pituui crentiirc. 
** Zav.holtl on, niiiKMi^!- put thu^'n under jour arm,** 
an<l n: was thni»t under her ani> Zmr* 

litild <»n ; put tliu» round one between vour— ** 

'flie |Mwr ptH dropped her load in an in»f ant ; »lie 
had still «fiirit enough to mrnt the Inwr'n indecent 
aannli. .'^iie ran to the house with team in her eves, 
and the clown seeing me a|>|)ruacb, retreated into a 
steble-loA. 

55eTrnil bamb of Norwegi imve r ly amvctl 

in the town; tliesc hanlv wootl^iM. n have licen to tlie 
land ofBre, and h ' up lotn in the woods. Mean* 

time thfv lodge in a puhlic^houne, when* the GetOMUIt 
hare a rrndetmcts everv tti^'ht. and sing tlie •OQgs of 
their distant latherlaiui. .^ 'metimes tlicT sallv mit at 
night, retiring from the puhlic-housc, and sing for an 
hour ihrtMigh the dcserte«l mrrets. One night I was 
niiise«l frtiui niv slumber bv a band of those tutm of 
hannoov; thevmarcheil|»ii ^S'^'S' nalhwnu 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 285 

of Norway, a wild and melancholy air, and as the 
singers retreated down the lake shore, the music had 
a peculiarly plaintive and solemn eifect. I afterwards 
heard it was a band of Norwegians, who were thus 
chanting their favourite airs as they marched away 
into the woods in search of their new homes. 

" Catch'em, say, catch'em !" said a letter carrier one 
fine morning, as he held up his hands, en passant, in 
the street, and tossed a bunch of keys at my head — 
the bunch of keys I had lost on the trail between 
Racine and Janesville, and despaired of ever seeing 
again. I note down this as a proof of the willingness 
to serve, help, and oblige a stranger, displayed by the 
rough pioneers of the western world. 

This morning all the sportsmen are out shooting 
wild pigeons ; amongst the rest, my shadow, Lebanon 
Slope, a young gentleman from Massachusets, who is 
waiting for a consignment of goods, from New York, 
for his new store, in which he intends to make a rapid 
fortune in Whitewater. He heard me speak in praises 
of the risino; little village of W hitewater, the home of 

DO ' 

his choice, and from that moment we were inseparable. 
In the woods, I found Mr. Slope at my heels, bleating 
about Whitewater ; on the lake shore his shadow was 
seen in the water. I clambered up the steepest and 
most impracticable part of the banks, and now, thought 
I, Mr. Slope must slope at least a mile round before 
he finds me out again ; — not at all; for, lo and behold ! 
Mr. Slope glides up the bank after me, and sitting 
down, pulls out his knife and whittles away, while he 
persists there is no place like Whitewater. 

"We are all 3'oung fellows there, growing up together 
in the bands of harmony ; and in a few years when the 
territory becomes a state, we shall be men of weight 



S06 Ufi IX THC wnr. 



X nrn rr«|)i -ihr |)fttTundit oC 

lll« rr; Our namfi nill V .rtirrn u|iun llw 

tabic t3 '! : * : ii will be rvcot Jiai wr wrrp the 

f rof who (Wrd to eguhli«h our frrr ii»tiluli<icvi io the 
>^ ii.lrmcHHL C?ociir, ttr, you btp aI p t Ktn t little better 
thaii m clwjointfld rtiember of tnrtety ; join our rnter- 
pntiiig giillAnt IimmL Go it while too mn joongt for 
wlten TcMi are uld vou rmn'L" 

Thb was the f ii<*( rtrx thamU ioaie 

of Lebanon Slope'* haranftu** H** ^*> * Um-wd, 
elever frllow, and will, I am sure, neeted wherrter 
he U. 

The pifteofit (lew Terr low, whole flocks skimmiog 
over ihr tops of the bufthet, as Um m thev arrired 
from their long flight arrosa Lake Michigan. Tlir 
t. wnmen krpt up n \ ^ tatkde; w h ao fer 

I tirr.l. Mr. l»tjanon S1o|m* hrrd abo, with • p 
) ho prrlitulitl to Hhooi l> ; > i 

• fi as a pigeon fell, he wuulii 
run IhfWErtI a „ , it, cxrlaiaingi ••Tliete was 
a shot for Tou! (wo it, while vou're ytmtw* liow 
»lick niv liall went through his eye.** At o..* |4*nod 
wr IumI rxhaoeted our wadding, so hot had U'cn the 
battle, and I was fain to wad down mj powder and 
fihot with tlrirtl ! Rut S1o|k* was rradr to keep 

up the pUr, wiiltiHit U-iiig bahokiin to the tnt*« ; 
ig olT his shirt slrrvea, he soon made wadiliug 
• . lugli for hit piilol* and pulhng out hit sliirt bonoi 
mn*\ • oMar, lie threw tlie residue of his ^lurt to me, 
ei4.«....iiiif. *' iio it, while vmrre ToungT&e. Tlie 
poor pi^roiia arr fair game evrrrwlierr, Iwt it is when 
thev ruiMt At flight tliej are killed iti rart loaiit even 
with |iol( V 1 i>)«MT«ed tone vagrant liai«kf hovrhng 
u\cr some oi the f1<ick», just as ilit v a|ipfiiached the 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 287 

shore, and struck down sundry lagging birds, as if in 
mere watonness ; indeed I once nearly captured both 
hawk and pigeon, for both whirled down into the 
lake ; the hawk got wet, and was only able to fly a 
short distance from the dead pigeon, when he alighted 
upon a rock, with drooping wings. Mr. Slope begged 
of me to let him fire his ])istol at the bird, instead of 
capturing him alive, as I intended ; but my friend's 
pistol was not so unerring this time ; the ball skipped 
along the lake, and the wild hawk, having dried his 
wings in the sun, soared into the blue sky aloft, and 
looked out for a fresh quarry. The early flight of the 
pigeons predict storms and severe weather, and we 
soon experience the change from calm, delightful 
days, to rough, boisterous storms ; rain falls in torrents, 
and we are regularly weather-bound. The lake looks 
like a vast sheet of foam, and the steamers and other 
craft have disappeared altogether. 

Some wayworn and wx»ather-beaten travellers have 
arrived from Green Bay; they declare the road to be 
in a dreadful state ; between floods, and sloughs, and 
fallen timber, they were obliged to fag along on foot, 
leading their horses, and occasionally camping out, 
when they found it impossible to kindle a fire, owing 
to the rain and damps. One man had lost a very 
fine horse, he said, though he tied him to a tree — he 
broke loose, and he despairs of ever seeing him again. 
This was not very encouraging to me, especially as I 
had made up my mind to visit Green Bay ; indeed, I 
found it would be madness to attempt the journey 
alone in such weather, and quietly awaited a change 
for the better. Seated one night at a game of chess 
with my friend Slope, beside the fire in the bar, the 
door was burst open by three dirty-looking sailors, 



t8§ UPK IV m 

mm of whom pompooilj : himirlf to Ijc iIk* 

oifilaiii of die • r« tci. -ncr; be ww half tnw 
of9r and Ume into the bar^fi— «n IhBimum to boot. 
Our hmlB gUncetl timidlT at each ocbcr, as the '^ftein'* 
uf the Ukr dcmaiMled a bc«L 'Vhty mini llirr hail no 
bed fur him ; w b c i e u poo he was Mipportcd out of the 
booaa wtib gmc aolemnity. Half an hour after hia 
• I, three of the most vilUiMNv deaperadoea I ever 
. iWy entered the bar-nxmi, briaklr. Thev ii>% 
if the ra|Hain of the Vankic lodged here; then wai 
down hv the fire, called for a bottle of brandr. 
lowed the limt part of it, and the leader of t:.. 
then demanded ** if tliat ImuttI of white fmh had .^ « .. 
rrtxivetl hx the boat.** Tlie boat replied in the nega- 
tive. 

'* I piea* yoQ Sotfici ti iit of i\%U 

tlie captain of the Vaiik< i, grnticincn. i ! 

another of tlie gang. 

1 ic |)eople of the iKNiie dedared thev IumI nrrer 
mxivrd any preaent from the captain. 

** I gueat we liavc a acurc to settle right ott with 
Tou," retorted tlie strangeri, rising u|i. 

" Will you pay fcjr ymir brandy, gentlemen?^ aaad 
t)ir bar^eeiM*r, obse<|uioiiilj approaching the dea- 
]x radoea. 

•• (jo to — ^ilh \ou, vou d d I 

-beadetl ."tlm J one of the |«eiii%. 

tlie rest, tin v mg their anim n-kiaibOb 
oulrageonaly, and the i»liolr )MUiy n-timl, with their 
|.r.,iwK iinnioleaCed I was not nomr ti» «rr t**" 

m 

buiiji. / * .ir-keeprr slink aside in ronfuvion. lie wob 
mv i! ' n. 1 do not rrallv think lever beanl 

bini * 1 thing, or reasr hlitwlrritig, ««hilr I nut 

in the hou»«. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 289 

Among the fiishionable arrivals at our hotel, we had 
a certain great military doctor and Indian agent, and 
liis wife and child, from Prairie de Chien; he was 
en route to Florida via New York, where he intended 
to leave his wife ; but his plans and his temper were 
sadly broken up by the bad weather. lie chafed 
himself almost into a fever, at being weather-bound 
for a week at Milwaukee. His wife was a very agree- 
able, lady-like woman — an easy soul — she laughed at 
her husband's vain vapourings, and seemed resigned 
to her fate. She told me a few anecdotes of our 

Captain M tt who had lodged at her house in 

Prairie de Chien, and was " quite a bear in his man- 
ner," she protested. She said there was another 
singular Englishman who had been loafing about 
Prairie de (Jhien, and the islands, for a year. " He 
was a man of good address," she said, " and great 
information." At last the governor thought he was 
tampering with the Indians, and had him arrested 
forthwith. His }>apers were searched, and it was 
then discovered that he was a man of large fortune, 
who had been quarrelling with his own family in 
London, and had deserted them all. After this, he 
was set at liberty, and two of the most respectable 
merchants at Prairie went bail for him, but he never 
returned to the governor again. 

The Madison steamer has been lying at anchor off 
the mouth of our river for the last three days; she is 
waiting for wood, and cannot receive any assistance 
from shore, such is the tempestuous state of the lake ; 
but at last, the master of the little steamer in the river 
resolves to make a dash out to relieve her, and we 
hasten on board this little cock-boat steamer, and run 

o 



190 Ufi IN niR wie*T. 

damn ihr rirrr, wliirh m ilcepciioil^ to ioat • 

Irril loitt, till we cooMT to tbr Bar — ^ . 
liuH in ihc ruli'—our liiile ■ttaimr not only got 
•.^mtiiHl on it, Imi man ncaHy fwaroprd bv tbr fur^n 
...« Uke, wbicb ibulirtl licr ■((BifiAt llkc auIc o: ^ 
Ur){r Mcmmrr wbicb Iumi lircn run li«nl agruuiMl cm 
iIm* Bar by mHut wmut Irllowt of Milwaukee, who 
bad a nbarr in brr; f ' ' i |iaicl ili* '.: 

V niaili' n L»uiil otruki — arlumJly look tbc 
i*r (MJt «it' tbf lu&rlxiur lu I •, in wbicb ttlie 

had iMTtn bud u|), aod ran nwiiy \«itb bcr, |Mir>u< 
two or three (aal aiaaiiieffi, but nbc bad half a nigi. 
i>tan of ibc othens and lit*at ibirin all hollow. Tbc 
Milwaukcf* boyi attempted to run orer tlie Bar, and 
janinKHl tbr IxmiI to fatft, lluii »he must be taken to 
piaoai lieforr iIk- |iMnge can be cleared ; at it ia, we 
were daahiwl againai her dumiy lidea, ai»d werv glad 
to get back again to llie town, wlicrc we went to beil, 
aiMi renewed our • A voyage immi day with 

better aiiceefliv making d , Aiietnpu to Ixiard ibe 

Madison, by meaoa of a aliding plAjik, Miuuiunen our 
l>oAt bcuig f we|>t clean away from the bigb w alliiuled 
•tranier, and the next uionieni daabcd up right again^ff 
ii. (luring which tune we acramblcd on board of her. 
'1 111 (lixtor'ii lady thnink iMick from thi» diaitgraMblt 
•' j»; »»lir vowed »1m? could iumt— "no nrierT lake 
it« b a stride. Hu* r \%aH in do|Miir. "Tut, 

(ut — lor ihMDer lie cx^ t i. \ ii mu»t jump, 

my dear :** and, w ith a Milor oo Mch aide and the 
iliM'Uir in the rear, the |Mi«ir lady wa* bundli*d up the 
w, in npite of lier cric^n and rraUtance ; ccrtca the 
)foor doctor »ulfercd lot bin want of galUntry; the 
Utdy pappawd bun roundly for hm nidttMM^ and 
nrownd hrr - her littlr girl iotialed 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 291 

on sitting on licr Lap—" No," said she ; " sit on your 
sweet papa's lap." 

" Yes, she may sit on my knee," said the tender 
father; "she knows who she loves best. Why do 
you look so grave, my dear — my sweet little Kitty ?" 
and the doctor dandled his pet on his knees, till sud- 
denly he altered his note — " Mrs. L , — I say, Mrs. 

L , take this child, ma'am." 

" Keep the child yourself, doctor." 
" Madame, look at the state of my new military 
pants, — take the girl, I say." 
• " Not I, doctor ; I have a new silk gown to look to." 
" Stewardess — stewardess — stewardess !" roared the 
doctor, as he rushed out of the cabin, with his scream- 
ing little burden, while the lady coolly arranged her 
curls in the glass, and took up a newspaper. 

Once more I land at Makinaw. The little village is 
quiet enough now the Indians have dispersed, and 
the fishermen and Frenchmen have gone off with 
their boats and canoes to seek for white fish and 
salmon. I was directed to the gate of a tavern, 
where they took in lodgers; entered the yard, and 
found two bears tightly chained near the door of this 
pleasant hotel. My request for a bed was treated 
with disdain by a fat frowsy old woman, while a stuj)id 
old boor, named Monsieur Lasley, pointed to a corner 
house, and signified I could get lodgings in it. This 
proved a stupid jest. I knocked at the door in vain ; 
till a young woman in a neighbouring house told me, 
the house I knocked at was uninhabited and deserted. 
" What a vile, inhospitable place this is !" I exclaimed 
— and the good woman, anxious to save her town from 
such an imputation, invited me to enter her cottage. 
It was very small — two little rooms, a bed-room and 

o2 



t9f UTB IK Tflc warr. 



tlir wboir r&trni o( (^ Thift 

wmoit woman, ami hrr two %rnr fiiic iiouy ciuUli- 
intrtrMril iiic lo niidi, thai 1 i«a» ii i* of t • 

UlriMW of llir buur. lilt lirr htMJMml. mn art 
i)t»luiig Iclluw, canir liunic, %»illi bit cukik Hi- "^.i .. 
»inrr 1 had fcMiiMl tnv wav iiilu bif bumhlr -f'*** *" 
wouM inr atMl fix up a bctl for mc ; ami luiid^^iUj 
wrni mil, ami rrturncd with a bamiwril bfdncail cm 
hU back, %«)ii(!i he* fixrtl up in a romrr, and wr Mil 
down lu 1(1 . tLs liapp}- lu kiuf^i or prandrM . 

Tliui nil J I (uuk a walk ruuiul lb<* tulaiMl with 
a fririid of luy h t. mi, a )oonff Uu an 1 

Mi>M(H)ar\ bound lor Gmnd I ^ - ft- ilw Mvi \ 

m 

diita bavr an rstabli««liiiiciii. Wc ciplon-d an old 
fbrt^ callr<l Fort llolims <>n tbr bigbett part of 
ibr island. Ii romniaudu llir new fort rati ^ ' ' 
and, wiib a langk gun <d here, iIm iH.tiii 

rrlook iIm* fort U»t war, antl Im-KI it lill iIk- |.< . 
Tbr ialand . ^U in |> w«. a: 

liful Miaa lor yiIUh; the air i i 

rpfrr«bing ; altogether, it . a liealthy and 

dcbghtful nunimrr reaidcnee. \N t « \plorvd a »ingular 
cave, and a bi^h pirlurri«{uc nalural arrli, or brid-'v 
north of the iAlaiul ; it look* from llic lake ihort iii^i 
the ftupendoua portal of a gtaiit*« caitle ; the dwarf 
pinca, and loiiie remous abnHM, and nniund U of 

alui): ih.corer l\u: hilU and vnllcv of ^ 

iboUKb Mtiiirliinm wr (1im'u\i ntl a ^n^n »|)o{, wl. 
mtr plaiitt-d >lilr«t \r. in davii g«Mie 

b>. 'Hm' lit<lian« ItMik <>u (lut i»lAiul yn'nU mprr> 
Millou* dreail, and liavr many legrndii concenitug it. 
1 ouinot ft'* - ' indeed, I have many ft- ---■— t;» 
frmenibrr m .^.inw mmI hrr inbaliilanii^ im liuiy 
boafHiable luan in ihc island it my hoti; the only 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 293 

woman of any feeling, my hostess. This conchision I 
made, on being tricked by some rascally half-breeds 
and French, with whom I entered into an agreement 
to go to Sank St. Marie, in a canoe. My host 
assnred me I ought not to trust them, and it was 
mainly owing to his exertions that my l)aggage was 
not carried off by those scamps in broad cloth, who, 
watching their opportunity, went off without me, 
this being the only time, and the only place, in all 
my travels and voyages, I have been served so scurvy 
a trick. 

Embark on board the steamer, Columbus, and find 

a singular-looking genius reading the " Edinburgh 

Review," by candlelight. While the fire-wood was 

dragged on board, I heard some coarse jokes passiug . 

amongst the sailors, and one of them observed — 

" Well, I think Pat has got his last drink, now !" 

" He was always thirsty," said another. 

And then I learned that a man had fallen into the 

water, and been pulled out of it, insensible. Groping 

my way through piles of fire-wood, along the wooden 

pier, I directed my steps to where the rumbling sound 

of a rolling barrel and loud and noisy words, oaths, and 

laughter, announced that something singular was in the 

wind. The mob had been rolling the body of the man 

taken out of the water upon an em])ty Hour barrel. 

Tbey stopped at the door of a pul)lic-liouse ; the 

body was carried in, and laid naked on the floor — 

rubbed with whisky, by the orders of one of my 

steam-boat friends, a gentleman from New York, 

who exerted Inmself nobly to restore animation to 

the body, rubbing with both hands and blowing into 

his nostrils. As to the town doctor, he moped about, 

neither doing nor saying anything. 



fH urt or tiil wbit. 

** Will yon bleed turn, D^^inr r Mid our. 

" 1 will, if vott like/ Mid the doctur: aod a mn 
VIS oiwoitL 

I wuiirtl tbcm U' imt Uic boiljr inio m varm ImuH, 
Uit tiu lioc water cnuUl lie fiHiiMl, tmr yd ■ bcllofiv in 
ilic wbole place. Makitiaw ixmiKI imh atfufd rvni a pair 
^^ The mob began to disperar, and, by great 
<jQa, 1 gut ilic St >1(1 woman of ibi- houae to 

kiiitUc a firr in ilu* tlove, and IumI llic bodv fcia otc d 
to All inner ruoni. Die old French woman wrni 
round ibe bo»l^, wriii};tng her liaiuLi, and mrtntp— 

** Ah, niun l>ieu« (|iicl niallKMir! |ioiirqtiui a ; i|v 

portc ec cadavre icL** A plate of hot nit wa« ibe lart 
« i|Mnmcot 1 triedy bat it waa all ubcIch» tbe vital 
•^liofk linving fled for ever. Kvt n* one IumI deserted 
the room, have mjielf aiul tlic old I: wonuui. 
Trr 4 fitly, ibe nid abe would lcx>k uIUvt ti 'IIicn 

and 1 wai left alone, watehing the dead. 

ThefcwataomeCbtiigi- . .1H5 rtem, yn aonmrftil, 
in llie cutinlenanee «if tlu* corpw, tliat niade a deep iro- 
|ircauoci on nie. lierv waa all that reiiutined of a 
Btraoger, who, by a ningle (alac stqs tuiil ^ ^ M 
fn»in a vain, and |trrlia|w ImaMful, lord ol ua i n, 

to a hclpleaa and inanimate inaM ln» iiiMlrr tlie 

lu«»C tif thr loWi*«t of the* low, and apiit 1 the 

* III luune ia— beiv! jrou can t\m\ 11, ma cber/ 
.4.(1 iIm- tild wuOMMi, if tkto presented me with a 
little RoaMUiHMtbolic prayer-tiook. which liie fcHiiid 
in the eual-|iueket of tlie d* *• •mhI ; Uit Patrick wm 
all I conld mnkr out I'aiiiii^! 'Hien llie defunet 
bail been Irub I aotmj lucklov wigbt, who bad 
cruwitti \' ttl ttux * ' . "^ -itl dan- 

grra, to |»«rult tbiu uiif- at Makiuaw, w d 

and unknown. 



LtFE IN THE WEST. 295 



CHAPTER XVI. 

Green Bay — Astor house— Hot politicians — Aster and Navarino — 
The Judge and the General— The Major— Mr. Childs and the 
Squaws— The Indian Agent — Bad weather— Search for a horse — 
New orthography— Dodge and Doty— Black-hawk war— The 
ex-governor— Walk into the country— Old Frenchman— His 
farms — Herd of deer— Banks of the Fox River— A tavern— The 
Judge in a quandary. 

The crank little steamer, Columbus, having wea- 
thered the equinoctial gale, which had blown her 
out of her course, through death's door, and the 
dangerous navigation, hidden flats, swamps, shoals, 
stumps, and snaggs, beset Green Bay. On Tuesday 
morning we rushed ashore, and sought sheUcr in 
the Astor house, from the " pelting of the pitiless 
storm." Being lightly incumbered with baggage, I 
made my entre, upon the bar-room books, a-head 
of my fellow voyageurs, thereby securing the luxury 
of a single-bedded room to myself. Green, the 
landlord, a right red-faced jovial old Boniface, flew 
round the stove, thrusting huge billets of wood into 
its fiery maw, and thus enabled the half-drenched 
passengers, as they dropped in, to keep up the steam 
till breakfast was ready. The bar-room was soon 
filled with passengers and townspeople, the denizens of 
Astor and Navarino. Hot politicians, they came full 
fig to hear the news, give their opinions, and express 
their sentiments, puffing tobacco-smoke, and squirting 



206 UWm tM TUft WMT. 

in rrrry t! tlv rt :ig 

t>«r ir jicil \ . .f llir 

! 

*' Tlic Tint act of iIk* nriiwb, in tbc cYrnt of war, 
which, of ttMirnr, U inrviialilr," micl one of the towna- 
iiicn— ** the dm act uf the BrttUh will lir, to trl the 
Iniliaim u|mhi im.** 

•* It lia* liccn a! ' ry to act * •," rr- 

^|««>ll<l<>tl A (liin-lr|q^c<i oltl i>.. r, %«ith grrv whi»- 

ken*. I'liick wig, ami a lung-lMMiird |M<ij»u-krl. 

•• Anil it U our dulv.*' '^m\ ihi- rir>l hjirakrr. ** to 
prqiarr for the- wofiL Ix( imbr cm the alert, grnllc- 
men ; let ti« look to our anti^. lluw many »tan<l "f 
Nniis hare we in the fort to-iU}' ?** 

Ttiiii, and iinidn' incpiirim of a Miuilar (if < rt)>tii>n, 
lirinf; %n. ' lulrtl to !»v the p*ntlciiu-n ; nt, 

itii- lir>l liliiMerrr (iii Urr«l, llmt it U'ltuvrti rvrr\ nuui 

m 

to Iftok (HJt fnr ^1 

•• Kiu'hi. jnclp' !— righi, juilgr T gruntctl ihrre or 
fi>iir ^titidv MiiokeriL 

*' AjTt let all |mrticii unite — Irt all fmrtien join *pni 
arin ct focitf,* gentlemen of AMor and Navartiio. Let 
iijk liMik out for s|)iai— Hriiinh ^pie!^ I can rrmcrobrr 
uIhii Amlrt* wait h I for a ^pv. Hri' % are 

lit nniunpit tlu* liidiiiii» now; I have intoriiMinm on 
I hat htad. Ix*t tia lie prr|iarr<l for net ion, do «Nir 
dulv, han^ llu m up for a f>|Mii, as 1 mucI, and a 
fl^iji"' — 

Here a whilT of (olMcrti iidialed, ehuketl the jiMlgr'a 
firatorj; he r-'idicil, helclietl, MieeiccI, %«hile htn 
lihmirtl and (;iu\Mng Yiaage U^ing wmihfullv lunieil 
ffMni one rtrangeri* fncf !•• ' . Heoieil !«• fa 

MiM'V *\t fr<»tii i\\v (' (of iHinie indignant 

I I ihii maa a 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 297 

balderdash, and, indeed, with the severe and unfriendly 
tone of the townspeople present. With the exception 
of the host, they seemed bent on kicking up a row. 
I thought it unhandsome, to say the least of it, to set 
upon strangers in this way, and with difficulty refrained 
from speaking my mind, though the New Yorker soon 
silenced them when they began to discuss the political 
affairs of the Union, and in the midst of their vapour- 
ing about congress and their delegates, wondered why 
they gave themselves so much trouble about matters 
that in nowise concerned them. " For ye are only 
the president's children," said he ; " you have no 
more influence in congress than the Indians you seem 
so much afraid of." 

I could have embraced the man ; even the judge, 
in his grey pepper and salt raiments, slunk out of the 
room, and the rest seemed extinguished in their own 
insisrnificance ; but the moment the New Yorker 
marched off, the alarmists returned in full force; and 
as no man with a roof over his head would venture out 
in such dreadful weather, I was doomed to stay at 
home and listen to the long tirades of the judge, the 
general, the colonel, the major, the captain, and every 
bellicose and pot-valiant wight, who chose to rant his 
hour in our bar-room, till at last matters wore a 
gloomier aspect than ever ; for M*Lcod's case being 
discussed for the nine hundred and ninety-ninth time, 
and the prisoner duly hanged and cpiartercd, the 
boundary line wiped out from the map, and laid down 
again convenient to the North pole, (juestions of 
greater import came on the tapis. 

Two of our deck-passengers, just arrived from down- 
cast, had been arrested in a store in Navarino, where 
they had attempted to pass bogus (base coin) and 

o3 



t^ Ufi: 11* Titc wnrr. 



wild-cai ■mnrrt ami brinfr g JMOU Dwi htkn thr 
jiMigr luxl ji . lUcy admiilcd tbry wcrr goiiig to 

liie Imluui iMuiMtiL TV judge ciccUn» be i* Mir- 
praed «l Dotiiiiig that be* hcarv, atitl rtmiljr inftimtt 
ii»— ** Wc hjiYr, in bridrwrll, two very ■ y u Mr i iwi* etmr 
ncten alrra (idltkOHIi, you arc aware of how 

ihov fbllowB ounc bcre Um days ap^ iii«. .; almut 
ihc Imiiiii |«yiiient abo. 'V\u'y otulc a waggoo — vbai 
wai Uicir od^^ci in rtealtng that waggon, grntlcnicti of 
the jtiry? (beg fianlon, UicMi^bt 1 was uii ibe bench.) 
rUiiily and «»|ienly, it wa# to carry off the dolUrv — 
the ipecie iutriMli-d ftir the Indiana. TlH'y itirmiit to 
imrrrrpt the n^cnt, awamp the moncy-boai. (we have 
no aoldicn here, thaiik» to the Whig*, to cacoft crrn 
an agent,) and ao iiifc vrcn- ihc-y of ultinuUe iiicccM, 
that they stole Sy llai-kiu.urit waggon. Twooftlie 
conCnleimtea have arrived by (hi (\)lunihiui ; did I »ay 
two ? — niany — yea, many t»f tbol deupcrale pmup may 
hare arrivnl by the CAiluwbtia, as will be Mi ... It '» 
a pkH— a conspinry; wc are ■orP»nmlr«l by ^: • 
blacklegs* thieves, vagabonds, s oa p lo rk s, romuLA^ 
loaleni — look to it Mr. A|{cnt, look to it, gentlrmrn of 

o f ■ Astor aiul Navn: 

The li it, tt ihin, nervous. fientJemanly- 

hMiking iiuui. lo*»kiHl tip like a startUtl i Chi h« nr- 

ing the jihI|»c » dcclamlion, hi- cooghctl «Hit a rr^'- 
uUmt '* doing his duty, imd no more ; and this bring 
hiAfinar^ '' ii to the liKlinn country as pa3nmMcr, 
cs|iniMHl itift great aniuaty about tiic mtrticy-boies, 
lii« rv^rtt (hat gotanmant, in itj* %i iMloni, liml not fur* 
ii hitn with a g«uml of aoUbeni. a* lunial" 

•• Th. ir (roo|w have been renuivctl frooi our 

foft—it i»» a lart." ^st*! « IslU SpaTP, hi»ok-: . «'lil 

uniylicr • al!c«) tlic ALticr. ^^hl) had kr| t up Sttch a 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 299 

well-directed stream of tobacco-juice, and latterly blood, 
upon the base of the stove, that I really wondered 
where such a reserv^oir of nastiness could have flowed 
from ; indeed, the floor was defiled in every direction. 
It was enough to make a dog sick, and did make two 
dogs sick close to the stove ; and a third, a great black 
pointer, chose to relieve his stomach upon the red 
damask sofa, upon which a hot politician sat down 
unwittingly, and made a great disturbance till the 
dogs were kicked out. " The regular troops are gone," 
said the major, " but there arc more ; there are sol- 
diers enough in Astor and Navarino, to guard their 
own. Where is our troop of cavalry ? If the agent 
wishes it, he can have an escort of good men and 
true." 

This idea suited the present exigency of the times ; 
there ^vas a deal of irrelevant conversation about 
sabres and pistols, and carbines, and horses, and 
saddles; and, finally, it was proposed to the agent, 
(who, with his clerk, sat playing draughts at a broken 
old draught-board, eking out the men with cents 
and bits of wood,) that he sliould call on the vo- 
lunteer cavalry corps to escort him to the payment 
ground. 

But the agent declined the honour ; he was not in- 
structed to bear their expenses, by the government, 
and for his part, a pis allcr, he would start in the 
morning without a guard. 

This reply threw cold water on the red-hot volun- 
teers ; they remonstrated ; nevertheless the agent re- 
mained unshaken. He was warned by the judge, 
the general, the major, the captain, and others, as to 
" the risk he ran of being cut ofl", waylaid, and done 



300 urw Tw rtn wttr. 

Ibr, bv ibr cic tp ^ri t tJ* gaoslvific *n w«tt fi^ htm »? iH^* 
mpkk.'* 

PirKiiti^ all atti 1 . i u|i a corjm dr ^ardt m» 

rfTrt'ttuU, M*Yrnd ui iIm- |k.»(-%aluuil mm miinrhrd ctt 
in a bu£ liut ihr • ti|M»fi ilir uc- 

canon; h* " Id Ii.kI iH*%rr m-ru an I n (obt- 

meoi, and fr hr I. hjui th«»<- |««\iiieota, 

he had not (i _ :oMeoor. Ilr wuukl 

not walk five rods to irc one — not hr. He liad brrn 
MUiftfied hy hearing a nejit account of die laftt mcr-— 
rable pavroent, al which one man waft bumcti alive, 
two woiei t kille<l, gereral wounded, ihc whilm routed* 
ami KCTeral of our brave corpa,** said the i . " put 

to flight, and tent liome minj vhemiseJ* 

The major here recitnl jKmir ven*cf» of jiic 

poeiD, whttrii ii|t(iii the retrrM of tlie (trren-Baj 
Greta from ihc Wolf Kiver rnvmnii (■rotunl, bj • 
medical bard, who IukI been at the m/itraiKl wiine««rd 
the ** acateration.** I refrret I did not nc»te down the finrt 
Tenea, which occaaioDcd much laqgblrr, an crirlirating 
the I ' ' r of Muwlrv j: men in ihe 

room; li in<Il\ joiiuti ni the Uugh 

raiacd at tli- \%\\ r.\|H'it!(c; and the major con- 

tinued — 



PrfinnnH Mt»trt (liiMs 
|{r>^nJI«-%« of kit fifnprf r«ke, 
Wr (UUi'J on bravrlj mmt tkimtw 
lit Mw iKr oujot in a • 
Hi m^%i Mid,*ciM ri»r««i. mimuY 

Yfl liTtci Ji-fiM tut lirj-itu*^ ' 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 301 

Despairing traders, left behind, 
Saw Cliilds, the brave, outstrip the wind. 
Three toothless squaws, 'tis understood, 
Pursued the lost babe in the wood ; 
While he, despising friends and foes. 
Through thick and thin pursued his nose. 
His nose, by instinct, downward bent. 
Pursued a soul-alluring scent ; 
A licher perfume, 'lis confess'd, 
Than boasteth Araby the bless'd. 
Oft as that perfume fills the breeze, 
The ardent hunters halt and sneeze ; 
Hold all aside a wry proboscis, 
And calculate their gains and losses. 
And thus the squaws, who foliou'd after 
The flying Childs, with shouts and laughter, 
The moment they in full pursuit, 
Seem'd wild to eat forbidden fruit. 
The perfum'd air had just inhaled; 
Then suddenly their courage fail'd — 
Down in a stinking swamp they sunk, 
Yielding our hero to a skunk." 

At last, the talkers, smokers, and jokers began to 
drop of^; one by one, to bed. They dwindled away 
so fast, that by ten o'clock the bar-room was deserted 
by all save the agent and myself. His hollow cough 
and worn aspect — his expiring pipe — all betokened a 
want of repose, and he was meditating, mayhap, on 
the perils and dangers before him, when the street- 
door opened, and, with a rush of cold wind and rain, 
entered a frosty-faced, severe-looking little man, in a 
dreadnought coat, and grasping a cudgel almost as 
Ions as himself. 

" What, all alone !" exclaimed this gcndeman, ad- 
vancin^r to the ajrcnt. " Not all alone, either," con- 
tinned he, glancing uneasily at me ; " but no matter. 
Mr. H , are you a strong man?" was the next 



9n UFS Of Till! WBT. 

■bnipc quouoo put lo tbr «grni by Uu» ■ i n g nwr 

Ml. 

** 1 ttioiil thr I^Jni*" r I (hr l^gBflU 1 . p 

At the Mrni mmI ^ c|iirhil. " I Kavr 

hiihmo rtijojred • 6ur t limlilv brallh aod 

tIrriigUi ; I luiTr a bad c> xl ^— -* 

** No» no; I doll*! iimvi lo ifH|uirr aiker all Tour 
ailmmUi now," intcrf* '»•-»! ilir nrw-oomrr . *' ! •»»♦ rrlj 
ihiHighl, frocn jour «uuiptdalc«l luuk ' 

** Sir r Hud tlw a|(mL 

^ I tiirrrtv tlimight,** rnaimrd ibr r|iKfifl, ** ilul 
YtHi air not — that you raniml tic a rrrr Kirong man, 
able to c< h aimI rf-|«*l by muM-tilar himigih 

bair a <1«>/<*D or a doxcn dri|M*nitc cbaractrrs «nd 
haid <.•> • 

•• Well, nir,- Mifi ill* afent— ''and t%luit ibrnT 

** Ob» iMHbing at all, nir; I mrrrly branl ibal. ral- 
mlating upon your pcrvonal and indivkluaJ Mrrtigtb 
of body aiMl mind, ymi had drclinnl mir 
tbr aHMlancr of our rorpa. Rut, Mr. I'm quite 
about it— I tee how nwllm i»ill g<>. 8a«w people 
lliinL tliry are itronger than tbry a* \ arr, and, 

if •^trnigth, fcrt awfully turkf^ mm* 

. ill the eiMl, are happy to make a 

Minigbt coal tail, ami * abaqualiiUtc ;' IkoweYcr, if you 

»lioiild c bailor tour mind, tend for me, my ombc it 

Cbilda." 

''Oh, KOod iiigltl, Mr. t it 1 1dm ^xd iht apeni, 
■jl to lie«l, while I tonUl hMiily rrfrain ham 
V i\i the |ieq>lc &ftl and ilumbloi \l man of 

war wtili tlic clanric verve— 



•« 



■r wfatv ial0 Hw wtMv 



PrisMrstMl Muter t*^||4». 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 303 

In spite of wind, hail, rain, and snow, good and 
evil reports and threats, the money-boat started up 
the Fox River this morning. The traders began to 
follow her, with their bales, boxes, and barrels of 
whisky, as best they might. Boats, scows, and canoes, 
of all sorts and sizes, were put in requisition, the 
moment it was known the agent and the dollars were 
fairly started. 

Our bar-room was not so closely besieged by the 
not politicians. My object in visiting this out-of-the- 
way place was to witness the Indian payment, and 
great was my disappointment to hear that said pay- 
ment was to be made on the Wolf River, two or three 
days' journey into the country, with the agreeable 
prospect of camping out, in perspective. Being 
assured that it would be more agreeable to ride to the 
payment ground, than loiter up rivers and lakes in a 
canoe in such abominable weather, I betook myself 
to hunt for a saddle-horse ; but so much had been 
said against strangers and interlopers by the angry 
judge and his clifpic, that even old Green began to 
be alarmed, and when I spoke of hiring one of his 
horses, to ride to the payment — hcydcy ! the poor 
man was off like a shot. No, no ; not he, indeed ; 
he had never let out his horse to go half that distance. 
I sallied out in quest of a horse, but my search was 
vain, the Frenchmen saying their horses were engaged, 
and the half-breeds willing enough to sell, but not to 
let their cattle, demanding forty, fifty, and eighty 
dollars for little runts of Indian ponies, not worth ten 
dollars a piece. The boats, canoes, and the last of 
the Indians had already gone up the river. I saw 
there was no help for it, and prepared to shift my 
quarters, when old Green facetiously inquired if I 



304 UFB ni T«B WMT. 

inrani Co walk to ihr psTninil ground. I df wa dw i 
mv bill, and made m final M»riic in quest of a Mrr^^ 
Ti irawl TObokc I • d wai fruoi a ««» 

oU f. To tbli i > i was tlirrrlrtl bj a 

ai^rlc*i"i»drd MMldlrr. He mmI iIit frmrman waa a 

liber uf lite < I. had a bofw to I 

mil, .\« . No tooncr \im\ 1 « 1 mv rrraiid ilian 

ihc frmman broke out — '* ^^ m vmi !»cr» •««lt 

roc in ray roi»f»»rtun«» ? A%, I liave a bone — a bofae 
I loaned to a fiariicuUr friend of mine, to ridr down 
to Madiion, four fDonlh^ ago. The liorse wai tent 
bark, or ' ^trrdNV -a mifrrabie, brokeiKdown hack. 
111 hnvc the • ntcoii ' ^ up licforc iheeotirt — 

that 1 will, it i have l>ren used in this waj bv a 
fnciul, what can I cxjicrt fmm vuu, a Granger ? From 
where did voii sav you canic from ?" 

I was glad lo recnjs» the fern , and, totally diMUited 
with the liardnena of heart of the people, n*. - I 
myself to my chamber, where, from colil, wci, ovti- 
&' ftc, I mnatned for two daja, hud up with a 

frTrrtsli attack. 

8un«i Dir W( .«lhrr hnviii^ t !< .trrd A little, i 

walked for a inilr or two, awl ret*ovcrr<l niv • .; 

Kpirita. I l<Mik(Ml, from the ii|>landsaiiil rif>in|(^i -, 

down upon the awampa and llata upon whu li the n«al 
eiticii c»f Af4or ami Navarino arr iMiilt, Inii titr tide 
of priMfirnty ainl i»|teculatic»n has rrre<letl, and left the 
MrrelJi of liolti eitica bare rtiongh and quite d«*9rf1e<l ; 
yea, unto niin. \^ bite bonaoa and iwinted 

M biiili nt mi|»rrtfiil «lutiUicxB frtmi each (»ther» 

p. ; ilir i m of the Mn-rtii. llorr a 

rtMiiMl aiMl ritkt'lv plank iir foiiii»a\ - (lit rr a akmgh 
aiMl ,,, —anon a r«>%« ins all leaning 

onp wav. for mpport, zmt.. haek of a meeting* 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 305 

house; here and there a melancholy variety of lath 
and plaster churches and chapels-of-case. " Every 
day is like Sunday now," said a tradesman to me, as 
he lamented the high and palmy days of house-build- 
ing and speculation. Truly, the Green Bay cities do 
not flourish by the water-side ; there was dry land and 
waste land enough in the territory, without building 
towns on swamps, but chacun a son gout. The ebb 
and flow of the tide is said to be obsersxd here as in 
other places on the shores of Lake Michigan, though 
I think its regularity exceedingly doubtful, and attri- 
bute the rise and fall of water to the wind and rains. 

Returned to the bar-room, and found a certain tall 
fellow, a half-breed, inveighing against the Indians: 
" They vanish before the breath of the white man," 
said he, " and it is to be hoped they will soon disap- 
pear from the face of the globe." lie went on vapouring 
in this way for some time, until I brought him up short. 
I asked him why the red man should perish and be 
destroyed by the white man ; why should he not be 
cherished, protected, and encouraged to settle down, 
and cultivate his own — his native land, &c. And 
knowing that this elocpient bar-room exquisite was 
half Indian, half Jew (son of a Jew pedler), I pitched 
into him, and poured out a vial of wrath upon his 
head, that completely silenced his barking ; while all 
present seemed convinced that I had now declared 
myself to be the friend of the Indians, and the enemy 
of half-breeds and settlers. In truth, I cared not what 
they tliought; and, recovering my spirits as the sun 
shone out, contradicted the judge, set the major right, 
awakened the general, and took my part in the con- 
versation. 

This evening we had a strong muster of townsfolk 



Lin? tyc Tftr vmr. 



tn fmrhmt'foem^ mad iht pMieimmn^mthty mm calM 
heir, riprrMrd ilirir iirntiitirtiU Crrrly. i uc rlrrtiun 
of a nrw -^"^'-irsie vm »i hand. IX"' - 'he ei-|(CH 

Trmor of i» Lacoottn w«i in llic flrW ; lie n ' <\ 

ht ihr Ui cofecoeiy or the ouu, wliilr Ar uk wM|{, 

or I V>(r candidate, was supponr<l \ty v N • « i»^- 

|ia|irri wrrr rrad orer aiMJ i»%rr again. tiT ihr |iolili- 
riant ptt at nt ; there waa a rm4, deal of hluttrring and 
haid wonU handled bac4[wanli and fo m awfa , but the 
moiC ▼toleni didpiiAlionK cfHlc-tl in Uughler. 

iioth (-andiiUim hail Manch Mipportrm in the room, 
mni\ one of ihr loroTuct) faction, or a I>odf*r man, ridi- 
ctilc<l thv prr«mit f^ovetnor't atlMBpC to alter the or- 
thogTTipliv of WiMMinnn into Wiskonaait, hr a fperial 
I or art of the legidalurr. ** Mr wtahea to make 
ua f > in tlie ercs of the world,** ftai<l tlie grn- 

tJeoian, and ilicn read an .^ from tlu* fl'ueammm 

Imfmtrrr: — 

** A prucUmaticin under the fO^eat neal of the terri* 
lorr will tmon make its appearance, commanding; the 
people of Wiakonaan not only to min<l thnr p'n and 
q\ Init their c*t and k'a. * A ' tamalion hy Jamca 
1' ^ ir, (tovemor of N^i«konMn: — Whrrraa 

.1 ^1 rn on wanditlv n\ ' treaauirr of Wi»» 

koiijian, ainl li.i IioikI uiih •^ i liaa 

been approTcd of hy the rx. .c. ih i luw 

been ile|wii»itetl in ilir - t»f the nekrrtanr/ Ate. 

The rratling ami ik|trlling of thin long |intclamalion 

-■ Jiaioneil a g»»«wl deal of merriment. hihI tlie menlii 

<*t ilie rival candidalm were then <liflCIMV<l. the whi|ri 

■ flral in fatniir of thrir rnm! " . \f 

itoi'i <| AM leauui aini " ^ 'tr. 

an |M>litirian. . a Rood m* t- 

a twvct phil , irr, a dee|> Uwter, fit to < r. 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 307 

their klaims and support the dignity of the territory 
at Washington. 

" I am not a Doty man, and never will be," said 
a brisk little clothier, and ^bankrupt tailor to boot, " I 
never was a Doty man. I know Arnold; I have heard 
him make a stump speech. I see nothing in Arnold 
to command respect and attention; he is a mere raven's 
quill of a man, smart as an old shears, thin as a thread 
paper. What then? Let us look at our delegate, 
General Dodge. Ay, he is something worth looking 
at — a responsible personage, a fair presence, will 
command attention anywhere — weighs, I should say, 
well nigh two hundred pounds. lie is the man for 
my money." 

" Oh, ho ! you want to have a heavy man, I sec," ex- 
claimed one of the whigs ; " it is not the man's head 
you look to. No! all the locofocoes want is plenty of 
beef and cabbage.'* 

" I'm sure the whigs have got beef enough;, and 
weight enough in the present governor," drily observed 
the long major. " I remember the day he was ap- 
pointed ; in fact we boarded together at the same 
house in Washington, and this great big fellow came 
down to breakfast with a rubber tied round his head, 
looking as heavy and dreamy as a regidar John Bull. 
' My! what can be the matter with Doty?' said our land- 
lady; *he barely picks a fish-bone, and toys with a round 
of toast — sicchs over the buckw heat cakes, and frowns on 
the molasses.' To all this the gentleman replied that 
indeed he had no appetite to his breakfast, being 
* troubled with the weight of the aifairs of state.'" 

I observed old Green maintained a discreet silence ; 
he neither said a word for or against any man, thrust 
logs into the stove, snuffed the candles, smiled, laughed, 



a08 UfB tH TMi; WUT. 

niKbnt hi» ml njttnd Ckt ** aimott I* ;: T be 

j!c\mrtl it» riijov Uie j«t» <jf hb gw ti* M . clran- 
b^ tbr bAr*niocii comb wiib bU priikiiirc, A naMj 
ci|irTmtion, ami briiralb ■ nian uT bui pari*; •ouci, be 
combed bb sbort bay wig, ilirii picket! bb lerib «ilb 
a |¥>ti. ininMliKTtl ibat iroplmietil into bi» ear, lirbl 
ibr ix'ilil lip lt> ibe eaiMllr, rlrarrtl bi^ iiajb, ami in a 
Iwinkling lieipui lu perl a r< 1 apple. 

•• NMiai riijlil or pniniMt^i lum Aniokl lo lie «iur 
drfefcate at all?^ naicl a venr vrbrmeiit old oraior, mlU^I 
llie «l(jetor. " lli in an iinlrir^l inan. Wbo ki 
Arnold ? I «lo«ri know bini, for one, never beard of 
tbe name ei(^|)( in our bifaorv»and llK*rr it i» nolonott* 
c .li; \*liirrais %»r nil know (teneral l>odge — be 
bafk iclrnlifiinl hiiii^rlf witb the* trrr -be baa foogbl 

for iii«, \\r \ui ' f«»f ii"*; uliall liinilttil^ l>r f«*r|jt>flrn — 

Aall (Ik* liero nt ihr HU<-k-hav%k-wAr lie i 'd ftira 

manoT vrMrnlav? I boKI in inv baml the U n-rtmstm 

• • • 

ifH/mirrr, ami if }mi plr*M-, I t« ill r. i vonr memories 

%ftilb a little of our bi^(onr• wbicli (Hif;bt not l<» lie leH 
in tbr i>baile anj lonj^er." And tbt- leanietl leecb rrail 
an rxiraet fn»ni the coliimnii of tlie pAfier in bi« 

bami : — 

•• ' Nf\ III. II, -.ml llir leader, '^r ^)mll liihl ihr 
I r N.«ii<l«r I'liik; llirn* ctiii U* n»» lliiuli- 

ing, no liaeking mit now ; reinemUr the vow we niailr 

at ibe rmle |;fave of |Mior . 'Hiev will lia%r tbe 

fina fire, depend u|>on it. Some of ua mitat fidi ; but 
let Its inarrb Ijoltlly up to tlte work, ami take otir 
cbaner. \S'v all kmiw fur wliat we are alMMit to call* 
lend, ami wlmt tbe ciinar«|tienee« will lie if we fail 
Five of vo«i mti»t remain to boM llic liuHMi, while llir 

m 

with II '. will marrh to tbr enrtHintcr with 
fucik \^c muft up cautiotuilj, wiib our 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 309 

pieces ready for an instant discharge. One tlionght 
of home, and then our whole minds and energies for 
the immediate emergency.' 

" Of the Pentacolica, perhaps it is necessary to 
state, that the banks are generally very bold ; the point 
where this adventurous band was about to approach 
was particularly so, and entirely bald of timber. The 
five were detached to take charge of the horses, and 
the others, after examining the priming of their pieces, 
again set forward for the encounter. On they move, 
with the cautiousness of old veterans in the service. 
* Be firm,' cried the leader, as they drew near the 
bank ; * carry your pieces to an aim, and as your 
sight lights upon them, blaze it into them.' Now the 
exciting moment has arrived — each had a thought of 
home, Ijut only transient, it vanishes before the work 
in hand. They near the bank ! but wliat causes that 
momentary hesitation and wavering? The Indians 
are there, but they cannot be seen yet. It is the 
muzzles of the Indians' pieces resting on the bank, 
and directed deadly towards them, ready to belch 
forth death and destruction in their midst. The 
quick ear of the savages had already discovered that 
there was danger near, but they had no chance to 
flee. They raise the bank, and are in full view of a 
party of Indians, about tw^enty-five or thirty in num- 
ber, who immediately fired upon them, stretching 
three of their number in all the agonies of death. 
Nothing daunted, the survivors return the lire with 
the most destructive precision. The pieces discharged 
are flung upon the ground, and those on their backs 
are instantly unslung and discharged, before the 
Indians can reload. * Now, my men,' shouts the 



31 <) UfS tV TUB WBvr. 



in . •>£ die eartli of ib«* » 1 tlooe— 

. »oii0M llimi, I ^ tlwir piMoli ami kiimiL 

ii m luiw a tlnifqilr uf iMTiMiiuU |iruwnBu TIm* IimImim 
figlii wrll, but »l K^al mUk* and figbtiiifc. ihrv nUlT 
iouimI thrir rhicf, who U trrrrrl^ woumicd, mhilr 
br duHMs his wsr-«oii^ as if to incile his IuIIowms lo 
figbl liH the Uft gaf|v Onr of thrm attcnpls to 
cacaps; be in nraHj in ibc miikllr of ibe sIhmh, 
•wimiiuiig lo fix? oppoailc bank, but a wrlUiprtl ImU 
baa clonr iu ! ; hr sink*— be* '• ftonr. * Cluar 

iIr'Ui/ crirs ih r; * bill Irsfe llic cbicfiumc; 

be mine the taak to cliji|ialrb biiiL* U|)uci llir instaut« 
ilir few remaining liMlians are burrictl fnmi liuic lo 
rumiiv : ^liilc, at ibc> aains time, a bail from liie 
|M»tol «»!' ibc whitr Icailtr baa acivlchoil ilirir 
upon tb« '. Init biii ftplnl is Ktill ui <i€tl; in 

an alm^Mt • '<prr, lir o -« liralb- 

aooff • tilm ol' iUaih baa fflaaed 

bit ^i(b lluU nfiaMii. lie, liio, it ftOQr \.*c an 

Imi... il lo uU ibe talc of ib«-ir ilrlrat ; and 

ibiin |ieii ..4.: by ibe band of violrncr, men wbuw 
bauds wrrr rrcking witb ibc blood <if innorrnce; 
!• ' (Mbi'r c'irrtiiiiKlitncm, and Ki***l*'d by iIm* ni\» of 
ci«iit4Alion ajiil c-ditruliMii, (h<-v niigbl liavr adonifd 
a 11 

!• r, il»r oVr Inie.** M.my of ibt 

111 tbat affrajrarr still livins n«Hir Mum ml INmiiI. 
1 )«r)' arrajed tha m ar l faa luidrr uul (n|m, 

aiMl under llic Minie IcraAlcr lendrml good mom^. 
and cuninbulcd cawnliallr to tbc brin ' ^ of ilial 
bloody i»ar lo a rioar. In ibai !• ' ' ' < laic 

fwagaor of Wiaoooaiii — iiacaiav U 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 311 

The solemn silence which had been preserved by 
the audience, during the reading of this article was 
unbroken for at least a minute after the reader laid 
down the paper ; but the trampling of horses without 
caught the quick ear of our host ; he turned to the 
door, but the door flew open, and a tall, dignified, be- 
spattered, travel-stained man, with a long red blanket- 
lined cloak thrown over one shoulder, a battered white 
beaver hat cocked over his e3^e, and a pair of saddle- 
bags in his hand, strode up to the stove. 

" General Dodge !" burst from the lips of the startled 
host, as he presented a chair ; while the admirers of 
that great hero seemed thrown of a heap and dumb- 
foundered. There was a disagreeable pause, till the ex- 
governor, throwing his hat aside, made some off-hand 
observations upon the state of the roads, the badness 
of the weather, the great fatigue he had experienced 
in his ride from Fort Winnebago. Then, stretching out 
his legs before the fire, he deliberately relieved himself 
from the burden of a high pair of Indian leggings, 
yawned thrice, and declared he was ready for supper. 
It seemed, the stanch supporters of Dodge then 
present had never been introduced to him, or if they 
had, they hung aloof through mauvais honte, or some- 
thing akin to it, until a special friend of the general's 
was sent for down town, who relieved them from their 
fears by introducing them to the general, one and all, 
w^hen a general hand-shaking took place at the bar, 
and the ex-governor went in to supper ; leaving his 
friends, foes, and admirers, to resume the thread of 
their conversation. Having consigned my watch and 
baggage to the tender mercies of m}'^ host, I started 
from Green Bay, pied a terre, with fifteen pounds 
weight of baggage, including a Makinaw blanket be- 



3lf urm i% itm 

iwmi niT V 'Hit hmhI wan full nf mwl hnlfi^ 

■ml tii«j»i rxrmiblr. 

l*wu roiirs fnmi tlie inim 1 arrriook a w t fgg o n mnd 
|Mir, tlnvrn bj an old Fmirhnuut, with wKooi I 
vpmlilv nuMlc m lMif|piin In frive iim* m ride for • frv 
'Hitt old Irllow IumI lirrii niail ourirr, and 
kiH \« iIm* f M : Ik* IumI im 1 (anik«, upon 

one i^ • kie bail I >1 hisi immi. Ah wr |m>> 

gttlW il, l)ii« frnml fi-lltm iiifomirtl ii»r Im* IumI fmifrlil 

00 tli«* !• ' : :tflon 1I« 
— wlicrr |Mior Hnick waa rIioC. 

*« Ah, c|iirl honime — €\t%v\ liommr T be rxcUimrd, 
with f«>n'<Mir, K|M-aLing of Hruck ; ** brave comnie Ir 
' . il |i:irlait Fnuicaifl r* ■ iin Anf^r.** 

W iii-n iIm* (irtirnil wan niiui, hr mid bo «ra» lakrn 
, ^•ii<r bv ibr Anirricii >d nt ibr |hjic^* mmivrtl 

\«iili liiH ui' iiiilv, In (lu* bniikii ofilM* Fni Kiirr. 

•* Voilii |)u Wrv, or Si. IVrrT bo» >1, a* ur 

|iiuMr«l ibnMitcb ajiolbrr viMiiig rilv. wlirrrin fomr 
'V^fv^^'l lalb and |ibHrtrr villas, and t»biiiglr |Milarr«, in 
til! \* miiTwiw, liavc licrn crrrtrtL Tlir placr %vasf|iiile 
deacft. ' 'riMNanmU of doUan have been rx|icadc>dt 
ihmt^ii n^cbi nwav into the rivrrabo, iqmn a inill-dam 
biiill rij^lil amjw ibr ri\rr ; tbc* mi'uI dam i« SmC mini- 
iiliiilf away, ami t «iiih* irraiul iiiilU 

1 • iiii; iIh* t»ri «»f ilir I. 1 

iiitlleri V in ill ; .iiir\, f«»r 

t .. II nuw ibrrr in vrnr lilllc fcrain mined in ibiii <!••• 
iiKl, rvrn fur bmnr ciiiiMiin|)li<Hi tloiir luring tte^ 
<|iiriiily ini|M)rlr«l fnitii Nrw Vttri ami (*biraf|o. 
'Hir I ot Kivrr in rrrlaiiily a fine aUVMn* Mid btfT- 
afti r Mill lir uiir«»ffcrra( .(•tier wbcn ilir rafiidi 

air rut down. Ibr |ionage o\ * fffocn 
l.^ki ^^innebago tu ibc Luilc Fux Kivrr, and a 



LIFE IN THE WEST. 313 

'^•able canal opened between the Wisconsin, Fox, and 
Missisippi rivers ; when this is all completed, and 
this country thickly settled, and good roads made, 
and Wisconsin proclaimed a state, this will be a very 
desirable country to reside in, I dare say. 

Jolting along the road, through rain and mud, and 
branches of trees, and fallen trees, and bottomless 
sloughs, I listened to the rambling conversation of my 
whip, lie seemed delighted to have found a good lis- 
tener, and poured forth a volume of backwood history 
and personal adventures. In the midst of one of his rig- 
maroles, three deer — a stag, a doe, and a fawn — burst 
into the road before us. Thus, at a moment when I 
never expected to see a deer, cramped up in a waggon 
with a noisy old Frenchman, and totally unprepared, 
a splendid shot escaped me. The deer cantered 
down the road before us in single file, and dashed 
into the woods again. 

" llestez tran([uillo, mon ami !" said my' wlilp. " The 
woods are lull of deer — par tout! par tout! — you'll 
see them everywhere further on.'' 

Wright's ferry : Here my old whip halted to bait, 
and I regaled him with some eau de vie, while he gave 
me some directions as to my line of march, regretting 
he could not accompany me, an pai/cmeiit ; he did 
more — he endeavoured to prevail on a Frenchwoman, 
one of his connexion, to let me one of her horses ; 
and he declared he would l)e responsible for the safe re- 
turn of her steed. This the good woman, who resided 
on the opposite side of the river, agreed to do, saying, 

that since Monsieur R would answer for the 

safe return of the horse, she had no objection in the 
world ; and Monsiein- B protesting on the ho- 
nour of a Fran9ais, that he was sure all was right — 

P 



314 MFE IN Tiir wr«5T. 

callinir on tho woman to " Rorranloz rot hommp, un 
t'tranj;cr c'est vrai, inais je vous ^ai^Tai tout cc (|iu' 
j'ai — il est bravo garcon," drove oti', wl»ll«' 1 (Mitcrt'd 
the low-rooted tavern, and endeavoured to improve my 
t'riendV impression, by orderiiii^ dinner, and inviting 
the voisine, to whom 1 was so well recommendeil, to 
share the repast, of fried bacon, eggs, mush, maple 
sutrar, wild plnnis dried fish, and potatoes, set 
before us. This she declined : and wliile I was at 
diimer she crossed the ferry. I followed her — toiled 
two miles, up steep andsli|)pery banks, to her house ; 
overtook her just as she entered her garden, and re- 
minded her of her promise. 

After some hesitation, she said her husband wm 
not at home — doubted my ability to catch the horse, 
and directed me to the house of another Frenchman, 
who could assist me. Away T went to the French- 
man's bam — found liim thrashinsx. lb' put on his 
coat, and we struck into the woods: we now heard the 
tinklintr of the bells ; but the moment we came in 
sight of the horses, olT they scampered, over "brake and 
brae," while we crave chase, and hunted them towards 
some enclosed field>^ ; l)iil it was little better than a 
wild-goose chase ; for the horses batlled us the very 
moment we thout^ht our ext rtions were crowned with 
success; and awav they went, kickini:, and snortiu'r, 
and jingling their bells, into the woods again. 




m. 



>« 



i 



LIFE m THE WEST. 315 



CHAPTER XVir. 

The Judge and his buggy — Indian woman's kindness — A blanket 
war — Little Cocaloo — Hospitable lady in the woods — Treache- 
rous French guide — Night in a dismal swamp — Wolves — Last 
white man's house — liutte de Moris — A nond^fscript — Hard 
cases on the prairie — Indians — Grignons — Traders — Osh-Cosh 
le Brave — Voyage up the Wolf River — Our canoe — Fishing — 
The camp — Indian village — The agent — A Council. 

The best part of the clay bcinfr spent, I re-crossed the 
river, and signified my intention to sleep at the tavern. 
As yet only fifteen miles from the Bay. Here, to my 
o-reat sm'prisc and annoyance, I found my friend, or 
foe — the grey-coated judge — uneasil}' watching his 
slender bnggy waggon, which had been rather roughly 
shaken, en route. He had spent the day, steering up 
from Astor, avoiding ruts and stimips, and, with his 
wife, had halted for the night at the tavern. I was 
glad to find him lowered a peg in his boasting. He 
vowed he would never have ventured so far upon this 
'tarnal bad road, if he had calculated the depth of the 
ruts. " I declare," said he, " I do not think the buggy 
will hold together as far as Fort Winnebago." 

" You may take your oath of it," said I, pointing to 
sundry cracks